When is talking about other women to your girlfriend inappropriate?

[StarScream35]

So my girlfriend calls me up yesterday asking for advice which I couldn't personally give her cause I've never been in this situation so maybe you guys can help. She's been with her boyfriend for a year now and she says when he's with her he always talks about how beautiful other women are that are near or around them and doesn't seem to know how to stop. I told her to talk to him and check him REAL good but she says she's done that. She says she doesn't talk about good looking men in his presence out of respect for him but she cannot understand why he does it to her. She CLAIMS he loves her but it's always hard to know what goes on behind closed doors. She is a nice sista girl, of course I'm biased since I'm her friend but could something more be going on?

 

[meesch]

So my girlfriend calls me up yesterday asking for advice which I couldn't personally give her cause I've never been in this situation so maybe you guys can help. She's been with her boyfriend for a year now and she says when he's with her he always talks about how beautiful other women are that are near or around them and doesn't seem to know how to stop. I told her to talk to him and check him REAL good but she says she's done that. She says she doesn't talk about good looking men in his presence out of respect for him but she cannot understand why he does it to her. She CLAIMS he loves her but it's always hard to know what goes on behind closed doors. She is a nice sista girl, of course I'm biased since I'm her friend but could something more be going on?

 

[lesedi]

Guys do that to get attention. They kill me with that.

 

[MsLauren]

That's disrespectful. He would have been checked hard & eventually dumped if he kept doing it.

 

[sweetvi]

meesch

LOL your wrong... Lol

 

[abcd09]

It's obvious that people will be attracted to others and may mention it a time or too, but if he is constantly and consistently bringing up other women it sounds as if he does not see the relationship with his girlfriend as she does. His mind is elsewhere.

 

[loolalooh]

I'd throw up the deuces.

The last time I was with a fella who did that, it escalated to him flirting with other women in front of me ... then dancing with other women in front of me ... then cheating.

I'm not saying the same will happen in "her" case, but I would not be surprised. He should respect her enough not to discuss such things around her. Saying it out is unnecessary.

 

[MrsIQ]

I wouldn't check him at all. I would express how handsome I thought Joe Blow was. And when he tries to check her, I would sweetly ask how he liked it. Then I would sweetly make him understand that either he's gonna cut it out or he'd have to get used to my comments or we won't be together.

She can prolly do better anyway.

 

[hopeful]

Sounds like a guy with little common sense and little respect for her. I would tell her to accept the way he is and either stay or leave. I would have been gone. A guy would only get one time to do that to me. A woman would have to have very low self-esteem or be masochistic to put up with that type of behavior.

 

[Babysaffy]

Guys do that to get attention. They kill me with that.

Took me sooo long to realise that!

Sent from my Sony Xperia Arc

 

[Fine 4s]

Based on all the situations I know of it doesn't mean anything in either direction.
I'm learning that in the end, how you feel about something is all that matters.
If she doesn't like it and/or her gut tells her there's something more, chances are there's more to the WHOLE story (meaning in the relationship) and that's just the tip of the iceberg. She should observe to see if there's anything more...

I know men who think dancing is just dancing, men who think it's direspectful and all in between. So, like I said, if you like it I LOVE it.....

ETA: However you have enough information to know that you don't like it. For sure you should bring it up. Maybe the relationship is changing....open and honest convo, can't hurt.

But I will say this. If there are two ways looking at other women and commenting about them to your women can go, it's most surely not in a positive direction so why would they take the risk of doing that? Hmmmm.....

 

[firecracker]

If she is bothered by that kind of behavior she should say so and he should respect that. I think its a individual thing or preference. I don't mind comments about other/random women being attractive, loaded in the butt and boob department etc. I point out chicks to my guy. Especially chicks with a butt that has a mind of their own aka big ole jiggly butts that need some body armor/spanks. LOL


OP I don't know why you typed that bald faced lie in your original post! LOL You ain't neva been in her position my arse! LOL

 

[RocStar]

Ok, I am giving side eye for sure at OP.








Anyway, if the girlfriend has told the boyfriend how it makes her feel and she asked him to stop and he hasn't then there are more issues then him looking at other females. It sounds like he doesn't respect her and she should take a good long look at her relationship.

 

[StarScream35]

If she is bothered by that kind of behavior she should say so and he should respect that. I think its a individual thing or preference. I don't mind comments about other/random women being attractive, loaded in the butt and boob department etc. I point out chicks to my guy. Especially chicks with a butt that has a mind of their own aka big ole jiggly butts that need some body armor/spanks. LOL


OP I don't know why you typed that bald faced lie in your original post! LOL You ain't neva been in her position my arse! LOL

Grrrl..........you know my position was extra crispy........it involved me, him and an ex. As far as I know, her man don't have any ex's hanging around. But then who knows right??

 

[StarScream35]

Gone girl.

 

[Bublin]

If she is bothered by that kind of behavior she should say so and he should respect that. I think its a individual thing or preference. I don't mind comments about other/random women being attractive, loaded in the butt and boob department etc. I point out chicks to my guy. Especially chicks with a butt that has a mind of their own aka big ole jiggly butts that need some body armor/spanks. LOL


OP I don't know why you typed that bald faced lie in your original post! LOL You ain't neva been in her position my arse! LOL

Yey - posted my first gif

 

[MixedBerry]

If she is bothered by that kind of behavior she should say so and he should respect that. I think its a individual thing or preference. I don't mind comments about other/random women being attractive, loaded in the butt and boob department etc. I point out chicks to my guy. Especially chicks with a butt that has a mind of their own aka big ole jiggly butts that need some body armor/spanks. LOL


OP I don't know why you typed that bald faced lie in your original post! LOL You ain't neva been in her position my arse! LOL

Hi, I have a general question to everyone, not just you firecracker , but seriously ladies, do you honestly enjoy pointing out other women to your man or is it just a "If you cant beat them, join them" type of deal?

I did that mess with a guy I was seeing last year because I would see him looking all the time and it bothered me . So, I decided to start pointing out the booties cause that way, I felt more in control, like, I saw the booty first! Yeah, I told him it bothered me but I was also on some other mess I had read somewhere talking about how men like to look blah blah blah so I was trying to be cool about it, but nah...I HATE IT!

 

[abcd09]

MixedBerry how did your guy react?

 

[Lilmama1011]

It can be taking both ways, because whether we are single or not we all recognize beauty from time to time and that's something we all know but majority of us don't admit it to our man/woman. But then again someone could say at least he is honest, but of its bothering her it's a problem. My SO is very respectful of me, I have never ever saw him check out a girl and the only times he says a girl is attractive is if I admit it and he either agree or disagree its that's simple. He says I seem to be the minority because he has never seen me illustrate envy toward another women, I always acknowledges things bout her. I don't know how it's around Yal way but girls are very jealous, you could be dressed nicely, beautiful and these girls will put they stank face on waiting to find something wrong to talk about to their girls'! If they can't find nothing they say she think she cute or all that instead of admitting you look nice. So it depends on how open and why makes you feel comfortable. But because she doesn't like it, give him one more warning and tell him if he doesn't respect her she wi find someone who will, point blank! I don't walk down the street and say "oh my god his muscles is bulging" and drooling! Once my SO other and I saw this real cocky dude and he was like "damn he motivation me to get back in the gym" that was my ok to look and I commented. That's the difference from disrespectful to having respect for one another

 

[firecracker]

Hi, I have a general question to everyone, not just you firecracker , but seriously ladies, do you honestly enjoy pointing out other women to your man or is it just a "If you cant beat them, join them" type of deal?

I did that mess with a guy I was seeing last year because I would see him looking all the time and it bothered me . So, I decided to start pointing out the booties cause that way, I felt more in control, like, I saw the booty first! Yeah, I told him it bothered me but I was also on some other mess I had read somewhere talking about how men like to look blah blah blah so I was trying to be cool about it, but nah...I HATE IT!

I'm a people watcher and complimentary to other women. I point out cute outfits, cute/ugly girls, guys with guns/tats, guys with bootays on their back and hips etc. I point out my faults and bs too.

Sorry if you've been disrespected by men that cannot control their urges or impulses. That has never been the case for me. Men don't get a pass just because they are male. Just like I have to have control so do they. I don't put up with bs and men know that upfront. I have never been the type to lie or flip a script to kick it or feel better about a situation or myself. Sorry ain't no future in fronting.

 

[ZapMami]

Hi, I have a general question to everyone, not just you @firecracker , but seriously ladies, do you honestly enjoy pointing out other women to your man or is it just a "If you cant beat them, join them" type of deal?

I did that mess with a guy I was seeing last year because I would see him looking all the time and it bothered me . So, I decided to start pointing out the booties cause that way, I felt more in control, like, I saw the booty first! Yeah, I told him it bothered me but I was also on some other mess I had read somewhere talking about how men like to look blah blah blah so I was trying to be cool about it, but nah...I HATE IT!

I've did that in a relationship before. I felt like hey he's going to look, so I just started pointing out chicks. He got extra comfortable with it, like totally turning around to look some a$$, while standing next to me. I was trying to be the "cool" girlfriend but felt ugly and stupid in the end. I would never encourage that type of disrespect in the future. I've been with guys that made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the room even if I wasn't (and even if they was still cheating).

 

[firecracker]

Grrrl..........you know my position was extra crispy........it involved me, him and an ex. As far as I know, her man don't have any ex's hanging around. But then who knows right??

I see what you mean in regards to your friend and no exes.

I'm happy you left his arse and didn't let him kill your dating spirit. Have fun dating it can be fun if you don't take it to seriously. Let things happen organically when you find a match.

 

[Lilmama1011]

I understand the concept of you can't beat them join them because in my relationship he doesn't look or point out women, I don't come out and say look at her arse anyway unless it's so unbelievable and I'm like dang she arse then he can look, we joke about stuff but for me it's not the cant beat them join them concept. I just comfortable to admit beauty when I see it. I know I'm an attractive women but I know their are some that are equally attractive or better looking then I am and don't forget less attractive too lol. But then again it depends on why you define as beautiful to you because another person might not!

 

[firecracker]

Lilmama1011 ^^^^ ita.

 

[MixedBerry]

@MixedBerry how did your guy react?

@http://www.longhaircareforum.com/member.php?u=113787abcd09

Just fine! We shared a lot of laughs and whatnot and he began to openly flat out say hes looking or he would nudge me to see what he was seeing...after a while, I wasnt too bothered..but eh

 

[Mai Tai]

OP...you going too far with the jokes.

 

[Leesh]

It's grossly disrespectful...

If that much interest is taken in someone, and you weren't present, he would act on it!

We all know what they say about the roaming eye...