SummerSolstice
New Member
I haven't checked in the relationship thread...
but when should you tell your man that you love him?
but when should you tell your man that you love him?
When do you know to say the L word
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loolalooh
Well-Known Member
IMO, engagement. IMO.
It doesn't make sense to love someone today and not tomorrow. That's not Christ's love, so I believe it's best reserved for when it is meant to express something permanent.
IMO
Engagement. True.
I thought it appropriate to say "I love you" in a Christian dating relationship, but you ladies make a good point. "I love you" and "Will you be my wife" go hand in hand.
SummerSolstice
New Member
Engagement. True.
I thought it appropriate to say "I love you" in a Christian dating relationship, but you ladies make a good point. "I love you" and "Will you be my wife" go hand in hand.
I have exchanged the words before but now I am being so careful. I do love my boyfriend but I have always loved him... I have known him for my whole life. So I am like... do I hold back on that? I've been holding back and I feel bad about it but I really want it to be final the next time I say it.
loolalooh
Well-Known Member
I have exchanged the words before but now I am being so careful. I do love my boyfriend but I have always loved him... I have known him for my whole life. So I am like... do I hold back on that? I've been holding back and I feel bad about it but I really want it to be final the next time I say it.
I heard of women on this board who recognized their husbands before their husbands recognized them. However, I don't know that they told their boyfriends "I love you". As a matter of fact, I believe they kept it to themselves until their future husbands came to recognize them as future wives.
This is to say, the bigger question, is does he love you? Does he see a future commitment with you? Talk to him. Pray about it. I want to assume you two are following Christian "dating" principles and not the ways the rest of the world dates. If not, check out the articles below. (The articles are not the end all be all, but they are good places to start.) It will help you get a better feel for your relationship:
"1. If two people are merely friends, then it is misleading to say "they are dating." Therefore, dating must include some other element; whether it is dating according to biblical principles or dating according to the ways of this world, another element turns common friendships into dating relationships. Accordingly, when we are speaking of "dating" we are referring to something more than just friendly relationships between people of opposite persuasion. We are talking about a peculiar kind of relationship that is beyond mere friendship.
2. If dating includes giving one's heart away or any sort of exclusive relationship-claim whereby obligations are imposed upon another person without an eye toward marriage, then not only may Christians not date non-Christians - they may not date Christians either! When a woman gives her heart away to a man outside of a marriage commitment, the "boyfriend" is placed in the position of exercising unbiblical authority over the woman that is reserved for the woman's prime, earthly authority (typically her father) and is one day to be transferred to the woman's husband. In such exclusive dating-relationships the woman's conscience becomes un-biblically bound by the boyfriend whereby she loses certain privileges of singleness, such as spending time with other men who might be good candidates for marriage. Nobody except a parent or spouse is to hold such a position over someone else. A single woman is to submit to her father, not her "boyfriend." Giving one's heart away without a marriage commitment not only runs contrary to what the Bible teaches regarding guarding one's heart, it is contrary to what the Bible teaches about parental authority (and the proper transfer of that authority). What is it to have a commitment to another that can be broken for any reason?
3. If dating includes considering one for marriage, then obviously Christians may not date non-Christians because Christians may not consider marrying non-Christians any more than a man may consider marrying another man.
4. If dating does not include considering one for marriage, then what is the Christian's purpose in dating? What is "dating" after all?
5. There is no place to say "I love you" in a dating relationship. Those words mean commitment; yet when dating, the commitment only goes as far as the "feeling." What does it mean to say "I love you" if you may break up tomorrow because you found someone better? "I love you" translates to "I love me and I want you (at least for now)."
... more at this link: http://reformedapologist.blogspot.com/2007/04/some-thoughts-on-dating.html
This link also gives an example dating guideline for Christians: http://www.meetchristiansingles.com/christian-dating/stages.html
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