When did you/What made you realise your man was here to stay?

[Maracujá]

What makes me long for a relationship is the idea of building a legacy with someone, having a long term relationship with a significant other. So I would like to ask you ladies, what actions did your man undertake that made you realise: he's here to stay! And how long have y'all been together now?

 

[Taleah2009]

Wow... can't wait to read the responses!

 

[indarican]

he is taking positive steps to change himself... i know the rule is that a man will never change so i shouldnt try to change him.... but he has taken it upon himself to change to ensure that i am happy and will stay. that is one thing i can say he does that lets me know he really wants to stay around.

 

[DayStar]

When he made steps to making me his future wife.

 

[hopeful]

He was always there for the important things and always remembered the important dates. Since we started dating more than 27 years ago, we have spent every single major holiday together. He has never forgotten our anniversary or my birthday. He gives me gifts every Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. We celebrate everything together. And whenever something bothered me he was willing to work on it. Whenever I got angry and was like I'm through, he'd say , and make me work things out. Bottom-line he has shown that he was fully committed to me and wanted to be with me from the very beginning. We have been married 23 1/2 years.

 

[VelvetRain]

He was always there for the important things and always remembered the important dates. Since we started dating more than 27 years ago, we have spent every single major holiday together. He has never forgotten our anniversary or my birthday. He gives me gifts every Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. We celebrate everything together. And whenever something bothered me he was willing to work on it. Whenever I got angry and was like I'm through, he'd say , and make me work things out. Bottom-line he has shown that he was fully committed to me and wanted to be with me from the very beginning. We have been married 23 1/2 years.

You are really blessed to have him. Thanks for relaying your experience. This is ultimately what I am hoping to find.

 

[hopeful]

You are really blessed to have him. Thanks for relaying your experience. This is ultimately what I am hoping to find.

Thanks, I feel really blessed. And I hope you find what you want.

 

[Honey Bee]

He stayed with me when I became disabled, that's how I knew. And still wanted to marry me anyway. Within the last year, I'm just getting to a point where I'm somewhat functional, so he's aware it might be a little while still, but we're enjoying our time together regardless.

We've been together since sophomore year of college, so that's 10 years this V-day.

 

[Lucie]

He gave me the key to his PARENTS house just in case I was ever in the area and didn't want to be alone. Um, I lived 4 miles away, LOL! I didn't have a cell/beepr and he would give me his StarTac and SmartBeep (shut up okay, LOL) so that I didn't have to be out with no way to contact anyone. Most men I knew would freak out if you even breathed by their phone. He bought a car just to take me to work and help me run errands. He treated my family like his own, even though many of them did not speak English. Be broke a CD early to buy me the cutest puppy I ever saw when we were in school. He called me his wife even before he proposed and treated me as such.

 

[miss stress]

whn dh and I were dating I tried to break up with him like 2 times and he wouldnt let me so we kinda just stuck. (that sounds kinda stalkerish but its wasnt) it was sweet.

 

[QueenFee]

He gave me the key to his PARENTS house just in case I was ever in the area and didn't want to be alone. Um, I lived 4 miles away, LOL! I didn't have a cell/beepr and he would give me his StarTac and SmartBeep (shut up okay, LOL) so that I didn't have to be out with no way to contact anyone. Most men I knew would freak out if you even breathed by their phone. He bought a car just to take me to work and help me run errands. He treated my family like his own, even though many of them did not speak English. Be broke a CD early to buy me the cutest puppy I ever saw when we were in school. He called me his wife even before he proposed and treated me as such.

My God this makes my heart SWELL! This is so absolutely beautiful!

 

[Makenzie]

Heartwarming thread.

 

[chelseatiara]

that fact that even when i was mean to him and left him he didnt leave me and was there for me through his pain......the fact that even when he's mad at me i know he will forgive me and not try to hurt me in his pain.......when he puts up with me and doesnt make me feel like any less of a person/woman that i truly am...that fact the he accepts my baggage and supports me through any and every problem..i guess all of it accumulates to me just knowing he's here for the long haul no matter what.....

one of my fav quotes from him "i have hair, you love hair- we're perfect for each other!" lol just thought i'd throw that in there

ETA: we've been together over a year since Oct 2009 (i guess i shoulda know since i spent Thanksgiving 2009 with him and met his entire family/church family something was up )

 

[gabulldawg]

What makes me long for a relationship is the idea of building a legacy with someone, having a long term relationship with a significant other. So I would like to ask you ladies, what actions did your man undertake that made you realise: he's here to stay! And how long have y'all been together now?

Well, let's just say I'm a little slow, so it took me a while. But looking back there were "signs" that he showed to let me know that he wasn't going anywhere. For example, he would let me know about any important financial decisions that he was making. He would casually mention things that we would do together in the future. Early on he would ask questions like how many children I wanted, and how I would raise my future children. Whenever I had an issue with something he promised to work on it and did. He was always there for me whenever I needed him (and still is). When I got into a car accident while I was pregnant he dropped everything and drove out to the accident site to make sure I/we was/were okay. From day one he has made a mental note that quality time is important to me, and he ALWAYS makes sure that I get my time with him no matter what. I let him know early on in our relationship that that was one of the reasons things didn't work out with my ex. I could go on and on.... Hindsight is 20/20! In the beginning I remember being so worried that I would scare him away! I haven't scared him off yet!

 

[dede1129]

I realized he was here to stay when he stayed by my side through everything that life has thrown my way. Whenever I start to stress over something he always tells me that we will get through it together as ONE. He makes it a priority to not let anyone or anything get in the way of our marriage and he believes most of all that God put us together so our bond is bigger that him and I and through His strength we will get through anything. His love for me is a direct reflection of how much God truly loves me that he would allow this Man to come into my life and break the mold.

 

[*CherryPie*]

He wouldn't leave.

 

[Irresistible]

when nothing made him leave, not even the craziest of life circumstances, and when I couldnt get rid of him

He does stay trying, no matter what, I do hope we (WHICH MEANS HIM REALLY) get more right in the moment and get out of the 'trying' mode , so far that is happening more and more. just 1 year under my belt thus far.....I don't think I could ever assume anything about a man staying or doing anything, I'm starting to be able to , to some degree with him, I'm healing from a lot tho.

 

[Irresistible]

He wouldn't leave.

Exactly

 

[PrincesscurlyQ<3]

When I lost all of my friends and companions from personal issues, he accepted me. He always tells me I have a beautiful heart, I always knew it but nobody else could see that but him. He gave me a key to his apartment and does things to keep me happy. He'll literally get up 4 in the morning if im hungry or thirsty, run to the store and come back with half of it. Lol. He use to always cook for me, now we eat out. When im on my bipolar mode, he still puts up with it, and accepts me after all the mean things I say to him for no reason. Im his 1st love, as he is mine, the 1st to meet his family, even traveled to other states to meet crazy aunts cousins and uncles! Honestly I didn't know how good of a man I had until I wrote this. Dealing with work and school, I can't sit and THINK but my eyes are open now. Great post!

 

[Maracujá]

Thank you ladies for all the responses! Keep it coming please!

 

[InVue]

My husband and I have been married for 30 years. Sometimes people marry and they change, their feelings change over the years. Hubby is still the same just a little older and wiser. His commitment to our marriage has let me know that he's in it until death do us part. We both said early in our marriage that we were going to grow old together and God willing that's exactly what is happening. The black hair we had 30 years ago is now salt and pepper. To God be the Glory...

 

[snillohsss]

When he made me part of his everyday life. I can name other things, but what really made me realize he was here to stay was when I became part of "everything". We've been together for 21 years.

 

[DaPPeR]

im loving this thread!

 

[smwrigh3]

I am looking for signs of SO in this thread..... so far I am almost practically engaged!