When Did You Fall in Love With You?

[cocoberry10]

Hi Ladies:

I wanted to pose this question on this board.

I admit that I've struggled in this area to really see myself as God sees me, and to know that He loves me just because.

Sometimes I just feel so undeserving of His love, and I can't imagine He loves me in spite of my human-ness.

I even feel like my earthly parents really love me just because, but I've always struggled in this area.

Lately, God has been telling me that I can do whatever I want (I know that doesn't sound right, but let me explain). I'm always trying to "improve" myself. Reading Christian, empowerment books, I eat pretty healthy, try to work out, improve my knowledge of worldly issues, culture, etc.

However, God has been putting it on my heart that there's nothing wrong with me. Therefore, as I said above, He's been putting it on my heart that it's okay to improve yourself, but your "motive" or "heart condition" is what He is concerned with. He's been showing me, that whatever I want is fine, but why I want it is what I should be concerned with. I haven't had a lot of people mistreat me in my life, and I admit that I'm probably my worst critic.

Even with this long hair thing. I recently cut 3" off. I had finally made it to brastrap, but my hair wasn't healthy and I knew I needed to cut it, but I was trying to hold out. Well, when I went to the hairdresser, my hair said "that's all folks," and I had major breakage, so I had to cut. I'm depressed, but God has been showing me, "look at you, taking all these vitamins and stuff, when I love you just as you are." I had started to become a little obsessed, not enjoying my hair. Never wearing it down, etc. God has been speaking to my heart to start enjoying myself and my life more. To appreciate myself and let others appreciate/enjoy me and to stop hiding.

Sorry so long, but when did you fall in love with you?

 

[cocoberry10]

Bumping for responses. Thanks!

 

[dlewis]

I fell in love with myself in my early twenties. I realized that I didn't need to fit a certain mold and it was OK for other to see as being different.

I struggle with several things in my life. At the moment I'm very happy, really overjoyed with life. Last night I was very ill that DH thought he would have to call the ambulance but even through that I was thankful to GOD and very happy, which is a drastic change from how I’ve felt the last couple of months. He even commented how much he’s enjoyed me recently. At the moment I’m in love with everything and very happy.

 

[cocoberry10]

I fell in love with myself in my early twenties. I realized that I didn't need to fit a certain mold and it was OK for other to see as being different.

I struggle with several things in my life. At the moment I'm very happy, really overjoyed with life. Last night I was very ill that DH thought he would have to call the ambulance but even through that I was thankful to GOD and very happy, which is a drastic change from how I’ve felt the last couple of months. He even commented how much he’s enjoyed me recently. At the moment I’m in love with everything and very happy.

Thanks for sharing this!

 

[tocthesunrise]

I only recently fell in love with me, about three years ago. It was kinda funny because I always had the self-inflicted illusion that I did love myself. This was based on the fact that others "loved" me, so I thought everything was okay. <----I know this doesn't make a lot of sense but its the best way I know to explain it.erplexed

It took a lot of unfortunate and fortunate turns in my life for me to realize that I wasn't "really happy" and that I didn't really like who I was. One of the fortunate turns was the birth of my daughter and my transition into being a mother and a women (not just "grown"). Through prayer and the opportunity to have wonderful people in my life, my true self image improved and each day I strive to be a person I can truly be proud of.

Now I realize the beauty of life starts with self love.

 

[Jenaee]

I fell in love with myself about a year ago. This is after years of self hatred. I am finally seeing myself the way God intended. I'm finding that because I love myself now, I'm happier with life. Things may not go the way I think they should, but because I am "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made", I know God has something Wonderful in store for me.

 

[cocoberry10]

Thank you all. Truly you all have blessed me so much.

I am really trying to get where you all are. I know that God loves me, but I want to really look inside and love myself.

It's crazy how others can see your beauty, charm and other good qualities and appreciate them, but I can't appreciate myself as much as I know I should. That's what I'm really working on! And I know God wants me to be this way, it's not selfish.

As God said, if you don't love your brother who you have seen, how can you love God who you haven't. And the Holy Spirit has shown me that if I don't love myself like God loves me, than it's hard to really love God, since He made me. It's like a slap in the face to the Lord when we don't appreciate ourselves. It's okay to make changes, if that's what you want (i.e. wear curly hair straight, exercise, self-improvement). But there's a line where we can become too caught up in external things.

 

[Glib Gurl]

I really appreciate this thread, for I too suffer with self-worth and esteem issues. Thank you so much for sharing.

(((hugs to all)))

 

[candiel]

I just began to truly love myself in the past year and a half. I still struggle somedays but, I've come such a long way.

 

[caligirl2385]

I fell in love with myself about a year ago. This is after years of self hatred. I am finally seeing myself the way God intended. I'm finding that because I love myself now, I'm happier with life. Things may not go the way I think they should, but because I am "Fearfully and Wonderfully Made", I know God has something Wonderful in store for me.

I JUST STARTED LOVING MYSELF LIKE GOD LOVES ME THE PAST COUPLE OF MONTHS. I TOO USED TO LOOK TO OTHER PEOPLE FOR LOVE BUT I NOW SEE THAT IT STARTS W/ ME AND THE MAN ABOVE. WHEN I 4GET ABOUT MY SELF-WORTH, I REMIND MYSELF THAT I WAS "FEARFULLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE".

 

[dreamer26]

Wow, this is really deep in my opinion
WHEN DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

As I read this it just grabbed me, becasue in all my reading of the Bible. There is nothing in the bible that tells us we must love ourselves. It tells us to love others as we love ourselves, but more and more I'm finding ladies that suffer in this area.

Lord how can we do what you require of us and that is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves when we don't see ourselves as loveable.

The enemy is really on his job, but he is a liar.

I commend those that have stuggled in this area but have overcome it, and if you still struggle my prayers are with you because of all the commandments in the bible the greatest of them all is LOVE.

Be blessed

 

[empressaja]

I'm still struggling with this everyday it keeps me from being the person God wants me to be but it is so hard. it has been tugging at my heart recently to really pray and conusel on this matter. As a child I was constantly called mean, evil and nasty by my mother who had her own issues to deal with she doesn't to this day understand the impact it had on me i relaly struggle getting away from this. I find myself being so cold and unkind at times just trying to protectmyself from felling howmy mother made me feel. How can i love others when I can't find a reason to love myself. You cannot adheres to what God requires you to do in loving your neighbor as yourself, if you cant love yourself.

 

[queenspence]

Wow, this is really deep in my opinion
WHEN DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

As I read this it just grabbed me, becasue in all my reading of the Bible. There is nothing in the bible that tells us we must love ourselves. It tells us to love others as we love ourselves, but more and more I'm finding ladies that suffer in this area.

Lord how can we do what you require of us and that is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves when we don't see ourselves as loveable.

The enemy is really on his job, but he is a liar.

I commend those that have stuggled in this area but have overcome it, and if you still struggle my prayers are with you because of all the commandments in the bible the greatest of them all is LOVE.

Be blessed

Very good point dreamer, I never thought about it in that light-

 

[cocoberry10]

Wow, this is really deep in my opinion
WHEN DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU.

As I read this it just grabbed me, becasue in all my reading of the Bible. There is nothing in the bible that tells us we must love ourselves. It tells us to love others as we love ourselves, but more and more I'm finding ladies that suffer in this area.

Lord how can we do what you require of us and that is to love our neighbor as we love ourselves when we don't see ourselves as loveable.

The enemy is really on his job, but he is a liar.

I commend those that have stuggled in this area but have overcome it, and if you still struggle my prayers are with you because of all the commandments in the bible the greatest of them all is LOVE.

Be blessed

And that's exactly why I posted it. If we don't love ourselves, we can't love our neighbors. And IMO, if we don't love ourselves as God made us, can we really love and trust God? I hope I don't confuse anyone.

I'm not talking about selfish love or idolizing yourself. Because in truth, that's not really love either. Love is about giving, not just about receiving.

But if you don't love yourself, can you love anyone else, including God (as it states in the Bible, if you don't love your brother who you have seen, you can't love God who you haven't--paraphrase)!

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm still struggling with this everyday it keeps me from being the person God wants me to be but it is so hard. it has been tugging at my heart recently to really pray and conusel on this matter. As a child I was constantly called mean, evil and nasty by my mother who had her own issues to deal with she doesn't to this day understand the impact it had on me i relaly struggle getting away from this. I find myself being so cold and unkind at times just trying to protectmyself from felling howmy mother made me feel. How can i love others when I can't find a reason to love myself. You cannot adheres to what God requires you to do in loving your neighbor as yourself, if you cant love yourself.

I totally agree. As someone posted earlier, the enemy is really on his job.

If he can get you to hate yourself, then he can destroy your ability to really love or open up to others the way God would have you.

And this will lead to nothing but destruction, IMO!

 

[dreamer26]

I'm still struggling with this everyday it keeps me from being the person God wants me to be but it is so hard. it has been tugging at my heart recently to really pray and conusel on this matter. As a child I was constantly called mean, evil and nasty by my mother who had her own issues to deal with she doesn't to this day understand the impact it had on me i relaly struggle getting away from this. I find myself being so cold and unkind at times just trying to protectmyself from felling howmy mother made me feel. How can i love others when I can't find a reason to love myself. You cannot adheres to what God requires you to do in loving your neighbor as yourself, if you cant love yourself.

Birdie

You must first forgive your mother for all the hurt she caused you so that you can become free to love yourself. Once you release that off of you then you can start delclaring what God says about you, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Every day you need to look in the mirror and tell yourself, You are the badest thing walking and I love me some me.

Understand woman of God this is a tactic of the enemy to keep you from having God's best for you life.

Every day make a conscience effort to get victory in this area. It might be hard to the flesh because it's easier to stay down than to rise up.l

But rise my sister rise. God has work for you to do and he needs your testimony to help others.

I will be praying for you.

 

[mrselle]

It’s a process for me that started more than 10 years ago.

I grew up with people telling me a lot of negative things. I have a very petite frame, so when I was growing up all I heard was that I was too skinny. Different guys would tell me that I would be prettier if I had some meat on my bones. One time I was at my aunt’s house and my great-aunt said that I was a pretty girl. My aunt said, “She’d be prettier if she’d gain some weight.” Other family members would make comments about me being so “little” and look at me like I had some horrible disease. By the time I got to high school I honestly felt like I couldn’t be the most popular girl or stand out in a crowd because I was petite. It wasn’t until my last two years of college that I realized that a lot of guys that I thought were gorgeous and would never go for someone like me thought that I was very attractive. I think it was then that I slowly began to see myself in a new light. Slowly, I began to carry myself with a little more self-confidence. God had to help me, though.

Once when I was in college, I was seeing this guy…he wouldn’t commit to me because he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend. When he rejected me I went upstairs to my bedroom and prayed. I asked God what was wrong with me and I heard a loud distinct voice in my spirit say, “NOTHING.” That was another part of my healing.

Another thing that helped me along in the process was God showing me how to respect my parents, but at the same time not allow their negative comments and opinions to get into my spirit. He taught me to listen to HIM over everyone else and to trust HIM even when everyone around me said that I was out of touch with reality. He removed people from my life who weren’t good for me and showed me how to stand on my own two feet and rely on myself. He also told me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. The church I attended many years ago had a pastor who had the gift of prophecy. The pastor knew my name, but very little about my personal life. That is one way I knew for sure that God was using him to speak to me because a lot of things he said to me were things that I’d never spoken about with anyone. One night I was at church and I went up to the altar for prayer. The pastor looked at me and said, “You’re not stupid. You’re not. That was something that was instilled in you from way back. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t graduate with your friends. You graduated from college. That’s all that matters. You are smart." He didn’t know that my parents used to say I was an airhead. He didn’t know that it bothered me when most of my friends graduated from college in four years and it took me a little longer.

It's been a while, but I do love myself more than I use to and I'm still working on my self-esteem.

 

[mrselle]

As a child I was constantly called mean, evil and nasty by my mother who had her own issues to deal with she doesn't to this day understand the impact it had on me i relaly struggle getting away from this.

I can relate. My mother and I had a rocky relationship when I was growing up. She often told me that I was selfish, mean, and everything was my fault. Over the last few years, especially since I am a mother now, I've often wondered if she really enjoyed being a mother...at least did she enjoy being my mother. It affects me in many ways, but over the last couple of years I've learned that the things my mother did and said to me had very little to do with me and whole lot to do with how she felt about herself and her relationship with her own mother. Like your mother, I think that my mom probably doesn't know the impact her words and actions had on me. Our relationship is much better. I think mostly because I am an adult and she doesn't have much control over my life anymore. Now that I have a daughter I am determined to not repeat the same pattern.

 

[FunkyMunky]

I would have to say that I fell in love with myself about 1-1/2 years ago.

I finally had to admit to myself that I was responsible for a lot of my own suffering and disappointments. One of my biggest problems was that I didn't know how to let go. I had trouble letting go of people, causes or things that no longer added value to my life. I was constantly being drained and sucked of my goodness and strength by others and I finally said "NO MORE!" I could sense and feel when people were coming to me for a boost so to speak. They would leave me drained and walk away refreshed and ready to take on the world.

It was hard for me because I am a loyal and committed person and I always strive to be fair. So, I use to feel that if I let go or gave up on a person or thing I was wrong because I wasn't giving my all when I knew I had more to give.

Once I began to accept that it was okay to throw in the towel or say "no" when I was tired of something, I, IMHO, finally became a woman in every sense of the word.

Now, I am loving me, setting and keeping my boundaries and trying to maintain my sexy at all times.

 

[cocoberry10]

It’s a process for me that started more than 10 years ago.

I grew up with people telling me a lot of negative things. I have a very petite frame, so when I was growing up all I heard was that I was too skinny. Different guys would tell me that I would be prettier if I had some meat on my bones. One time I was at my aunt’s house and my great-aunt said that I was a pretty girl. My aunt said, “She’d be prettier if she’d gain some weight.” Other family members would make comments about me being so “little” and look at me like I had some horrible disease. By the time I got to high school I honestly felt like I couldn’t be the most popular girl or stand out in a crowd because I was petite. It wasn’t until my last two years of college that I realized that a lot of guys that I thought were gorgeous and would never go for someone like me thought that I was very attractive. I think it was then that I slowly began to see myself in a new light. Slowly, I began to carry myself with a little more self-confidence. God had to help me, though.

Once when I was in college, I was seeing this guy…he wouldn’t commit to me because he still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend. When he rejected me I went upstairs to my bedroom and prayed. I asked God what was wrong with me and I heard a loud distinct voice in my spirit say, “NOTHING.” That was another part of my healing.

Another thing that helped me along in the process was God showing me how to respect my parents, but at the same time not allow their negative comments and opinions to get into my spirit. He taught me to listen to HIM over everyone else and to trust HIM even when everyone around me said that I was out of touch with reality. He removed people from my life who weren’t good for me and showed me how to stand on my own two feet and rely on myself. He also told me that I am beautifully and wonderfully made. The church I attended many years ago had a pastor who had the gift of prophecy. The pastor knew my name, but very little about my personal life. That is one way I knew for sure that God was using him to speak to me because a lot of things he said to me were things that I’d never spoken about with anyone. One night I was at church and I went up to the altar for prayer. The pastor looked at me and said, “You’re not stupid. You’re not. That was something that was instilled in you from way back. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t graduate with your friends. You graduated from college. That’s all that matters. You are smart." He didn’t know that my parents used to say I was an airhead. He didn’t know that it bothered me when most of my friends graduated from college in four years and it took me a little longer.

It's been a while, but I do love myself more than I use to and I'm still working on my self-esteem.

This is a beautiful story. I'm literally in tears!

 

[cocoberry10]

As a child I was constantly called mean, evil and nasty by my mother who had her own issues to deal with she doesn't to this day understand the impact it had on me i relaly struggle getting away from this.

I can relate. My mother and I had a rocky relationship when I was growing up. She often told me that I was selfish, mean, and everything was my fault. Over the last few years, especially since I am a mother now, I've often wondered if she really enjoyed being a mother...at least did she enjoy being my mother. It affects me in many ways, but over the last couple of years I've learned that the things my mother did and said to me had very little to do with me and whole lot to do with how she felt about herself and her relationship with her own mother. Like your mother, I think that my mom probably doesn't know the impact her words and actions had on me. Our relationship is much better. I think mostly because I am an adult and she doesn't have much control over my life anymore. Now that I have a daughter I am determined to not repeat the same pattern.

I don't mean to create "doubt" in either of you, but I feel the Holy Spirit saying this to me, so I'm going to say it to you (and anyone else it applies to).

Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe your mothers were jealous of you?

Mother/Daughter relationships can be sooooooooooooo complex, and often mothers who are super critical of their daughters are working out their own "issues" with or through their daughters.

Maybe your mothers thought you were prettier than them and it bothered them, or maybe you had life opportunities that they did not. It's sad, but it does happen.

 

[kbragg]

I had momma drama too. A book that has really helped me is a book called "The Search for Significance" by Robert S McGee. It's not our own greatness we should be falling in love with (There is none righteous, no not one) but the greatness of the One who abides in us which is contrary to Worldly self esteem teaching which is only surface level. Falling in love with who you are IN CHRIST is so much stronger than falling in love with your flesh.

Here's a link to the book: http://www.amazon.com/Search-Significance-Seeing-Worth-Through/dp/0849944244

Was reccommended by Lavonne, the woman who helped save my marriage

 

[mrselle]

I don't mean to create "doubt" in either of you, but I feel the Holy Spirit saying this to me, so I'm going to say it to you (and anyone else it applies to).

Did it ever occur to either of you that maybe your mothers were jealous of you?

Girl, when I read your words I got chills down my spine. I know God can do all things, but I am just amazed at how the Holy Spirit can connect us and use us to minister to each other even over the internet.

Anyway…yes, it has occurred to me that my mother was/is jealous of me. I didn’t come to this realization until my early 20’s and even then I just kind of shrugged it off. Over the last six years or so, it has become clearer to me that maybe that was/is the case.

The relationship I have with my mother is a very complex one and like I mentioned earlier, I think it has a lot to do with the relationship she has with her own mother. I don’t talk about it often. The first person I talked about with is my prayer partner. My husband and I have talked about it from time to time. Men tend to not notice a lot, but he even mentioned once that he thought there was a little bit of jealousy there.

We should start a separate thread on mother/daughter relationships.

 

[cocoberry10]

I would have to say that I fell in love with myself about 1-1/2 years ago.

I finally had to admit to myself that I was responsible for a lot of my own suffering and disappointments. One of my biggest problems was that I didn't know how to let go. I had trouble letting go of people, causes or things that no longer added value to my life. I was constantly being drained and sucked of my goodness and strength by others and I finally said "NO MORE!" I could sense and feel when people were coming to me for a boost so to speak. They would leave me drained and walk away refreshed and ready to take on the world.

It was hard for me because I am a loyal and committed person and I always strive to be fair. So, I use to feel that if I let go or gave up on a person or thing I was wrong because I wasn't giving my all when I knew I had more to give.

Once I began to accept that it was okay to throw in the towel or say "no" when I was tired of something, I, IMHO, finally became a woman in every sense of the word.

Now, I am loving me, setting and keeping my boundaries and trying to maintain my sexy at all times.

I really love your post. I too struggle with the bolded parts!