What's This With Guys Who Want YOU to Persue THEM???

Hairsnob

Hairsnob

Deep Thinker
What's This With Guys Who Want YOU to Pursue THEM???

Just curious... It seems that nowadays if I meet a guy and exchange numbers that almost every guy wants YOU to call THEM first. Call me old fashioned but I will NEVER call a guy first.:nono: It just seems like things have changed in the dating world and the men want the women to pursue them instead of the other way around.

I remember a couple of years ago I was about to exchange numbers with a guy and he said here, take my number. I said ok but you'd better take mine too because I'd rather you call or something like that. He actually said well, we probably wouldn't work out anyway because I like a woman that will call me...and then we ended the convo without exchanging numbers. :look: Dodged a bullet with that loser anyway. He was a bit younger than my normal taste so I wrote it off to that.

I ran into a guy yesterday who I've been seeing around over the years and we exchanged numbers. He seems cool and is older than me so I figure okay, he absolutely HAS to appreciate an old fashioned gal. But after we exchanged numbers the first thing he said was okay, now I want you to call ME so that I know you're thinking about me (in a joking way). :whyme: I told him straight up that I'm not good at calling people so you'd better call me. We laughed about it and went on our way.

I will never sweat a guy so if he calls he calls. If not, then so be it. But I'm just wondering if it's just the new thing or what it really means. Every man I've been in a relationship with has pursued ME and I can't see myself making that first move.

Do you ladies have a problem calling a guy first? And how has it worked out for you?
 
Last edited:
I never had that issue. But if I ever found myself in that position I would just move on to the next. I try not to entertain foolishness anymore.
 
A guy asking me to call him is essentially telling me he's a lazy bum who expects me to carry the relationship. I just politely decline and keep it moving.
 
Yeah there are a lot of b!tch made men nowadays, but partly I have to blame women for this for making it easy to be that way.
 
Never experienced this before. I can spot these types of guys a mile off though. Before they even open their mouths.

Any man who wants you to call him first doesn't see you as a prize, simple. Just onto the next one.
 
Yeah, I mean, what does he expect you to say when you call him firstcalling calling cause you asked me to...? :lol: especially since you won't be asking him on the first date. So what's he thinking?? Other than to show interest, I think the practical point of a man calling is for him to launch the courting process by asking you out on a formal date. Since you're not going to be courting him, what purpose does it serve for you to call first?? Some men are craaazy.
 
A good way to avoid problems (especially if a woman might be tempted to call or text him just to see what's up) is not to even take his number or take it and throw it in the trash. The men of 2012 are weak, lazy and inconsiderate but some can be salvaged. We just have to teach them.
 
i was having a similar conversation with a guy about this. i agree, for some reason most men want you to pursue them, call them, and yes, some even want you to pay for the date. i really dont know how this happened, but i can only blame some desperado women that have spoiled them. 1 guy told me his sister taught him that the woman should pay for the 1st date. wth!! another guy said "i like a strong woman".... well, i want a strong man. i explained that the type of woman that would be that aggressive would likely have other qualities that he would likely not find attractive or appealing.
 
act the way you expect to be treated. if you want a guy to call first, don't call him. and then move on when he doesn't call. it's nbd.

i want to be treated a certain way in dating/relationship and don't have an issue getting that treatment. and if he's not up for it, i move on. instead of bashing people who do what works for them, focus on what works for you. everyone likes different things.
 
A little off the topic but still relevant:lol:

I used to hate when you would speak with the dude after a couple of days or so and the first thing he would say would be "Why didn't you call me?" so I kindly responded "Why you wanted to talk to me?" the fools would replied yes and I said well you have my number you could have called me then:ohwell:
 
its rare that a guy asks for my number. they always offer theirs. i put it in my phone and when they say "are you rly going to call me?" i say "sure!" with a sickeningly sweet grin on my face. when they walk away their number gets deleted and i laugh like a crazed hyena.

if its someone i could actually be interested in i let them know the deal.
 
I think some guys do it because they are insecure and want to be sure that you are interested in them.
There's been namy times when I was younger I gave my number out and when they phoned I decided not to answer because I didn't like them.
If you make the first call then obviously you are interested in them to a certain extent. If I was interested in someone I wouldn't mind making the first call but that doesn't mean I'm going to carry the relationship, make all the calls and pay for all dates.
It's just one inquisitive phone call.
I would do one phone call and then it will be up to him to follow through or not. One phone call doesn't mean you are the purseur.
 
If I exchanged numbers with a guy and he wanted me to call him first, then I would assume that he's not that interested in me. Men go out of their way, when they are genuinely interested in a woman. If he can't even make a call... :nono:
 
Majority of the time the men are the pursuers and. Maybe they want to feel what it feels like to be pursued. But to be honest, I'm not chasing no man, if a man wants me to pursue him then he will be a sad man lol
 
I'm glad to see that it's not just me. I definitely like a take-charge type of guy who is willing to go after what he wants.

I did read a couple of comments here that made sense out of WHY they probably do it. Insecurity!! I was the same way (when I was younger) and sometimes I'd give out my number and by the time the guy called I wouldn't answer because I wasn't really interested. But that's still no excuse for them to whimp out and force us to take the lead.
 
Great thread OP!! I agree that if a man truly is interested in you..he will definitly make the first move and call you. I have had men tell me on the first date that they want a woman to take care of them. Sorry sir...you have the wrong one. N-E-X-T!!
 
most men have been raised by their mommas these days who chase after them hand and foot, of course they expect if from a potential mate.
 
melisandre said:
If I exchanged numbers with a guy and he wanted me to call him first, then I would assume that he's not that interested in me. Men go out of their way, when they are genuinely interested in a woman. If he can't even make a call... :nono:
Click to expand...
ITA A call not a text. I gave my number out 2 xs this weekend. I received 1 call the next day and I still have not heard from #2.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

W
So...what is this strange, voodoo thing
Replies
10
Views
427
Casarela
Casarela
janiebaby
Call Him First????
Replies
7
Views
176
Crystalicequeen123
Crystalicequeen123
Crystalicequeen123
Do You Think Guys Can "Sense" When You Like Them??
Replies
14
Views
660
LLicious85
L
F
What would you have thought?
Replies
16
Views
302
FluffyRed
F
PinkyPromise
Why do guys text all day long but can't call?
2
Replies
54
Views
1K
alwaysinchrist
alwaysinchrist
Back
Top