Here's what I do:
Touch time - 6 weeks post, I wash 1-2x weekly
7-10 weeks post, I wash 2-3x weekly
11+ weeks post, I wash 3-5x weekly(depending on the weather and style)
You want to keep the line of demarcation intact. (The place where the newgrowth and the relaxed hair meets)
I've learned that frequent conditioner washings and rollersets help me maintain newgrowth and shedding. Shea Moisture leave-in, castor oil, carrot oil, Scurl No Drip Moisturizer (among other products) help soften my new growth.
I also try not to comb my hair too much while it is dry. The only time I would comb would be in the shower under running water. If I have stretched farther than I have ever stretched before, I'll conditioner wash at night, add moisturizers/softeners, put my hair in as smooth a bun as I can get it, and wear that for a day or so until I'm ready to change styles. Then I conditioner wash again, add moisturizers/softeners and then style.
Try washing in sections and then clipping those sections. That way, your hair will be in the position you want it to style, i.e. rollerset, bun, twist/braidout etc.
HTH
~op~