What's on your "List"?
- Thread starter bosswitch
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ElizaBlue
Well-Known Member
To be equally yoked in several ways.
Financially (if not I have to be the one with less)
Spiritually (he must be able to lead our family in the biblical sense),
Physically (he has to practice good health-working out regularly, eating right, and always working to improve and maintain)
Mentally (we all have issues but it's how you deal with them. He has to have enough self-awareness to know his issues and be willing to address fixing them...if his issues require psychotropic meds...then no)
And the absolutely no negotiating must have - WE MUST HAVE BANGING CHEMISTRY...LIKE DAMN NEAR ANIMAL ATTRACTION...if bolded means screaming then yeah that one I'm screaming on. It's just to important to play with.
Financially (if not I have to be the one with less)
Spiritually (he must be able to lead our family in the biblical sense),
Physically (he has to practice good health-working out regularly, eating right, and always working to improve and maintain)
Mentally (we all have issues but it's how you deal with them. He has to have enough self-awareness to know his issues and be willing to address fixing them...if his issues require psychotropic meds...then no)
And the absolutely no negotiating must have - WE MUST HAVE BANGING CHEMISTRY...LIKE DAMN NEAR ANIMAL ATTRACTION...if bolded means screaming then yeah that one I'm screaming on. It's just to important to play with.
LadyBugsy
Well-Known Member
BonBon
Well-Known Member
Good references - Can't hear anything troubling from either his associates, or enemies.
Keen - He must like me at least as much as I like myself. He must like me much more than I like him. I'm not feeling men who take ages to warm up to women. They need to feel struck down by my personality and looks from day one. Acting foolish and what not.
Gentlemanly - treats me well
Ambitious
Degree educated preferred - Although I'd date a man who is self made, or climbed the ladder.
Stable work history
Fit and healthy
Intelligent
No kids
Pays for everything
Honest to a fault
Stands by word - Sticks to plans, keeps promises.
Attractive/sexy to me
No Mommies boys
Keen - He must like me at least as much as I like myself. He must like me much more than I like him. I'm not feeling men who take ages to warm up to women. They need to feel struck down by my personality and looks from day one. Acting foolish and what not.
Gentlemanly - treats me well
Ambitious
Degree educated preferred - Although I'd date a man who is self made, or climbed the ladder.
Stable work history
Fit and healthy
Intelligent
No kids
Pays for everything
Honest to a fault
Stands by word - Sticks to plans, keeps promises.
Attractive/sexy to me
No Mommies boys
proudofmynaps
Well-Known Member
All of this.
Must love me more than I love him
Old fashion when it comes to mannerism (ie. Won't go to bed unless I'm home)
Love God as much as I do
Can be kids together
Involve in some sort of sport activity
Pays for everything
Nice fashion sense
Good at saving (Have his own savings account)
No debt
Good credit.
It's important to know that I bring all these things to the table too
I don't think thats odd at all. Its not on my list but I do feel the same. I would prefer if my SO is not a huge sports fan. If he is I hope the sport is futbol or something like boxing or wrestling. For some reason I honestly dislike American football.
I made my list a few weeks ago. My list is actually 20 items exact. I want to whittle it down to 10 or 12 because a good amount of the specifics are character traits repeated differently or something that I can negotiate. Here is my list whittled down to 12 items that are non negotiable.
1. Abides by a strong moral code
2. Good and healthy relationship with parents and family
3. Strong conviction on the sacredness of fidelity
4. He pursues and loves me passionately and loves me a little more than I love him
5. Has no prior marriage, children, or offenses
6. Highly motivated with ambition, drive, and a firm work ethic
7. Marriage minded and is committed to the commitment of marriage itself, ie does
not believe in divorce
8. Loves children and desires to be a father
9. Has the drive, capacity, and desire to be the breadwinner of the family
10. Good conversationalist and a good companion
11. Cultured and has traveling aspirations
12. Atheistic or Agnostic
1. Abides by a strong moral code
2. Good and healthy relationship with parents and family
3. Strong conviction on the sacredness of fidelity
4. He pursues and loves me passionately and loves me a little more than I love him
5. Has no prior marriage, children, or offenses
6. Highly motivated with ambition, drive, and a firm work ethic
7. Marriage minded and is committed to the commitment of marriage itself, ie does
not believe in divorce
8. Loves children and desires to be a father
9. Has the drive, capacity, and desire to be the breadwinner of the family
10. Good conversationalist and a good companion
11. Cultured and has traveling aspirations
12. Atheistic or Agnostic
CarefreeinChicago
Well-Known Member
College graduate with no children and owns his own home. And height and weight proportionate. And no addictions.
LiftedUp
Well-Known Member
Another odd one is that I don't like "funny guys". I hate being with the class clown or one who cracks jokes every 2 seconds.
erplexed
proudofmynaps
Well-Known Member
Bumping
RUBY
Well-Known Member
When you find him, can you ask him if he has a twin? Then send him my way.
Great list, could have written it myself
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Mocha126
Do you believe there are agnostics or atheists who have strong beliefs around marriage as you stated above? I'm sure somewhere they exist, but I'd assume that if one is atheist or agnostic, their views on marriage and relationships in general may be fluid. I thought that people who view marriage in such strict terms reference the holy Christian bible to support those views.
Just thinking....tell me what you think?
Yes I believe it's possible just very difficult to find. ETA: My response is very long sorry
You know when I wrote this list over the summer I really had to think and concentrate hard on what I could and could not tolerate. Then what qualities would I want to rely on to survive in my marriage. When I reference these views they are not religious based but I believe practical for my life and future family. I like to consider myself liberal and modern in ideas, but conservative in my values and morals. So for me divorce is a no no. Its funny to me because my family is somewhat very religious with conservative values ie no smoking, drinking, gambling (women mainly) but they believe in divorce. I guess to me the reasons are very different.
I do not advocate divorce for my own relationship because I want my future children to be raised with myself and my husband together. I am committed to staying with my husband through thick and thin. I am committed to raising my children with two parents and extended family if possible and need be. However I am not foolish enough to believe in not divorcing if: A. he is abusive B. he has an addiction with no long-term recovery and C. my life or my children's lives are in danger.
My other personal reasons for not divorcing may not be so pc so I will just keep that to myself. I just believe with all the options and freedom I am granted as a woman, at that a Black woman in this era I have no reason not to find a suitable man for marriage with the list I have (this my view for my self only). Right now I just turned 21 and I am writing out all my goals so this list was apart of my writing day.
I am not against nor do I have hate for religion I just don't believe in it or the all the practices that come along with religion. I would want my husband to be open minded ..... If I marry a religious man even one who is wavering with his faith I do not want to stand in his way. I also do not want him to find god become fulfilled in his faith(however he may state it) and do a complete 180 on me, by expecting me to accept god for myself. I see it happen with acquaintances and a few friends who do not understand boundaries.
Overall I do not limit myself to just Black men or just Jamaican men, I am open to all races, ethnic groups and cultures. The man himself is who I marry but I am careful and very observant of his family and their culture and behavior. I am 21 so I have some time but I am starting out now with this list and I am being very strategic with my future. I remember reading somewhere that the most important life decision you make is whom you marry. I believe that to be very true.
You know when I wrote this list over the summer I really had to think and concentrate hard on what I could and could not tolerate. Then what qualities would I want to rely on to survive in my marriage. When I reference these views they are not religious based but I believe practical for my life and future family. I like to consider myself liberal and modern in ideas, but conservative in my values and morals. So for me divorce is a no no. Its funny to me because my family is somewhat very religious with conservative values ie no smoking, drinking, gambling (women mainly) but they believe in divorce. I guess to me the reasons are very different.
I do not advocate divorce for my own relationship because I want my future children to be raised with myself and my husband together. I am committed to staying with my husband through thick and thin. I am committed to raising my children with two parents and extended family if possible and need be. However I am not foolish enough to believe in not divorcing if: A. he is abusive B. he has an addiction with no long-term recovery and C. my life or my children's lives are in danger.
My other personal reasons for not divorcing may not be so pc so I will just keep that to myself. I just believe with all the options and freedom I am granted as a woman, at that a Black woman in this era I have no reason not to find a suitable man for marriage with the list I have (this my view for my self only). Right now I just turned 21 and I am writing out all my goals so this list was apart of my writing day.
I am not against nor do I have hate for religion I just don't believe in it or the all the practices that come along with religion. I would want my husband to be open minded ..... If I marry a religious man even one who is wavering with his faith I do not want to stand in his way. I also do not want him to find god become fulfilled in his faith(however he may state it) and do a complete 180 on me, by expecting me to accept god for myself. I see it happen with acquaintances and a few friends who do not understand boundaries.
Overall I do not limit myself to just Black men or just Jamaican men, I am open to all races, ethnic groups and cultures. The man himself is who I marry but I am careful and very observant of his family and their culture and behavior. I am 21 so I have some time but I am starting out now with this list and I am being very strategic with my future. I remember reading somewhere that the most important life decision you make is whom you marry. I believe that to be very true.
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