SimpleKomplexity
New Member
We got closer since we called ourselves the "Broken Hearted Club." He told me he never wanted any one of us to feel broken hearted so he regularly takes me out, does romantic things, yada yada, but gives me my space...and I do the same. It started off as two silly best friends getting out of bad relationships...but now...it's just confusing.
He called me up and asked me was he my "back up plan". I have a really fast mouth and don't think before I talk so I immediately said "HELL NO"
. Simply because I am not attracted to him. I love him as my best friend. Nothing more. This is Mr. Micheal Jackson Bad from my blogs. He asks to feminine and sorry for me.
I tried to cover it up by saying I have been the "back up plan" before and because of that I don't agree with stringing someone along just to saying the person I really want doesn't work out...I will always have Plan B.
Well he began telling me that he wasn't meaning in that way...I meant in the sense that if neither of us found true love and were married by 35 or so that we would come to the realization that we should be together rather than be alone and start a family. Because of this description...I guess in the back of his head I am his back up plan.
Ew.
I feel like I'm nitpicky but I really don't think I could ever be romantically involved with this guy despite how good he looks on paper. Am I wrong for that? Is it wrong not to tell him this? How would you tell him?
Pros
-Motivates me to be great. Always in behind me and my dreams (He told me as soon as I take my MDAT he's taking me on a weekend getaway. And when I get into dentistry school he is taking me to Florida.
-Is super smart, organized, and a natural leader
-Has his life planned out. He's currently been accepted into two med schools
-Loves me for me. (Hates the fact that I'm going through with this jaw surgery ordeal and etc)
-Goes to church faithfully and practices his faith
-Is a virgin who is waiting til marriage
-Very romantic
Cons
-Cheap. Very romantic but always thinking of cheap things we can do
-His cheapness leads to him always wanting to be catered too. Because of this I think of it as a feminine trait. He always wants the girl to drive when we go places. (Gas too high!! And I already had to drive 2.5 just to see you so yous hould drive)
erplexed (I think of that as sorry *shrugs* how I was brought up)
- He wants to be dined and cooked for all the time (Now don't get me wrong he does take me out often but then afterwards he will call me up like When you gonna take US out for steak?erplexed Lemme do it on my own.
-He is backwards in his ways (He called me up and told me his ex said that she is casually dating. He told me that was not very ladylike and he was appalled. I told him I saw nothing wrong with it as long as she was upfront with them by explaining she was getting to know different people and they were not obligated to each other. He said that she shouldn't be going out on dates costing them money then if she wants to get to know people. She should study to get to know people. I said men do this all the time to figure out which girl they are compatible with. He said..that's the reason why I woman shouldn't do it.
-Very argumentative. He HATES to not win the argument. He won't drop anything. HE HAS TO GET THE LAST WORD
-Very rude and jealous of any man I talk to and compares himself to them. I have a new friend guy at school who is smarter, more attractive, and etc than him. He has a high ego so this could not be possible. He arranged for the 3 of us to meet over lunch and he was rude insulting this man slightly the entire time. (Oh you kinda sound like Obama huh?). That shows me insecurity.
-Soo smart it comes off as snooty. He might be more organized as a leader than I, but he has no person skills. He comes off as arrogant
-Country (plays into the cheap part) Won't buy shoes that fit because he can get shoes for free that he can wear 3 pair of thick socks with. Can't dress at all.
-Can't figure out how to groom himself nicely. (he's going bald...he's not even 25 yet...his facial hair looks horrible to me...razor bumps annoy me because my brother and father are clean cut men)
-He gets so wrapped up in work that he forgets about family and friends.
-Last of all....And big to me...EVERYONE thinks he's gay. Ever since high school. I think it's because of the feminine traits (argumentative, never wanting to do men work and etc).
He says he is not and claims he's been in relationships with women (of which i don't know not one
and I've known him 8 years) He is always irritated by this and gets irritated when gay men approach him and etc. BUT he makes it worse and easier for people to talk about him...he befriends people just like him...these questionable feminine acting men ugh. Annoys the hell out of me. I don't know one manly manly friend he has. Well....one....he's weird as hell but a freak behind closed doors....but whatever. He has all these soft hand man friends :hardslap:
To be honest, I think that's the real reason why I could never be attracted to him. I was honest I told him I see him more as my girlfriend than my boyfriend and he got pissed off and went off on how he's never had a father figure in his life so he never threw catch with his dad blah blah and his first father figure was in the 4th grade. And he's being punished for his dad's behavior.
I feel like I'm going to hurt him in the long run honestly. I like him sometimes...other times I don't. I think he's a great guy but his 15th century thinking and feminine ways just have me like. So what to do?
Pull back from our friendship? Stop talking as much (like I said he is totally involved in work though so we only talk 2-3 times a week sporadically now). Tell him that I think that he is interested in me more than I am in him (I've already done this and he says he does not like me like that).
I just really feel like he's waiting. He's seen me grow up a lot. Likewise for him. But I really think he is "waiting" for me to get my life in order and together...and then wanting to be with me...but the problem is...the feelings are not mutual. He's just my best frienderplexed
He called me up and asked me was he my "back up plan". I have a really fast mouth and don't think before I talk so I immediately said "HELL NO"
. Simply because I am not attracted to him. I love him as my best friend. Nothing more. This is Mr. Micheal Jackson Bad from my blogs. He asks to feminine and sorry for me. I tried to cover it up by saying I have been the "back up plan" before and because of that I don't agree with stringing someone along just to saying the person I really want doesn't work out...I will always have Plan B.
Well he began telling me that he wasn't meaning in that way...I meant in the sense that if neither of us found true love and were married by 35 or so that we would come to the realization that we should be together rather than be alone and start a family. Because of this description...I guess in the back of his head I am his back up plan.
Ew.I feel like I'm nitpicky but I really don't think I could ever be romantically involved with this guy despite how good he looks on paper. Am I wrong for that? Is it wrong not to tell him this? How would you tell him?
Pros
-Motivates me to be great. Always in behind me and my dreams (He told me as soon as I take my MDAT he's taking me on a weekend getaway. And when I get into dentistry school he is taking me to Florida.
-Is super smart, organized, and a natural leader
-Has his life planned out. He's currently been accepted into two med schools
-Loves me for me. (Hates the fact that I'm going through with this jaw surgery ordeal and etc)
-Goes to church faithfully and practices his faith
-Is a virgin who is waiting til marriage
-Very romantic
Cons
-Cheap. Very romantic but always thinking of cheap things we can do
-His cheapness leads to him always wanting to be catered too. Because of this I think of it as a feminine trait. He always wants the girl to drive when we go places. (Gas too high!! And I already had to drive 2.5 just to see you so yous hould drive)
erplexed (I think of that as sorry *shrugs* how I was brought up)- He wants to be dined and cooked for all the time (Now don't get me wrong he does take me out often but then afterwards he will call me up like When you gonna take US out for steak?
erplexed Lemme do it on my own.-He is backwards in his ways (He called me up and told me his ex said that she is casually dating. He told me that was not very ladylike and he was appalled. I told him I saw nothing wrong with it as long as she was upfront with them by explaining she was getting to know different people and they were not obligated to each other. He said that she shouldn't be going out on dates costing them money then if she wants to get to know people. She should study to get to know people. I said men do this all the time to figure out which girl they are compatible with. He said..that's the reason why I woman shouldn't do it.
-Very argumentative. He HATES to not win the argument. He won't drop anything. HE HAS TO GET THE LAST WORD
-Very rude and jealous of any man I talk to and compares himself to them. I have a new friend guy at school who is smarter, more attractive, and etc than him. He has a high ego so this could not be possible. He arranged for the 3 of us to meet over lunch and he was rude insulting this man slightly the entire time. (Oh you kinda sound like Obama huh?). That shows me insecurity.
-Soo smart it comes off as snooty. He might be more organized as a leader than I, but he has no person skills. He comes off as arrogant
-Country (plays into the cheap part) Won't buy shoes that fit because he can get shoes for free that he can wear 3 pair of thick socks with. Can't dress at all.
-Can't figure out how to groom himself nicely. (he's going bald...he's not even 25 yet...his facial hair looks horrible to me...razor bumps annoy me because my brother and father are clean cut men)
-He gets so wrapped up in work that he forgets about family and friends.
-Last of all....And big to me...EVERYONE thinks he's gay. Ever since high school. I think it's because of the feminine traits (argumentative, never wanting to do men work and etc).
He says he is not and claims he's been in relationships with women (of which i don't know not one
and I've known him 8 years) He is always irritated by this and gets irritated when gay men approach him and etc. BUT he makes it worse and easier for people to talk about him...he befriends people just like him...these questionable feminine acting men ugh. Annoys the hell out of me. I don't know one manly manly friend he has. Well....one....he's weird as hell but a freak behind closed doors....but whatever. He has all these soft hand man friends :hardslap:To be honest, I think that's the real reason why I could never be attracted to him. I was honest I told him I see him more as my girlfriend than my boyfriend and he got pissed off and went off on how he's never had a father figure in his life so he never threw catch with his dad blah blah and his first father figure was in the 4th grade. And he's being punished for his dad's behavior.
I feel like I'm going to hurt him in the long run honestly. I like him sometimes...other times I don't. I think he's a great guy but his 15th century thinking and feminine ways just have me like
. So what to do?Pull back from our friendship? Stop talking as much (like I said he is totally involved in work though so we only talk 2-3 times a week sporadically now). Tell him that I think that he is interested in me more than I am in him (I've already done this and he says he does not like me like that).
I just really feel like he's waiting. He's seen me grow up a lot. Likewise for him. But I really think he is "waiting" for me to get my life in order and together...and then wanting to be with me...but the problem is...the feelings are not mutual. He's just my best friend
erplexed
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, went out with my line sisters, went on a shopping trip with my BFF, and etc) Sooo basically that led to me telling him we are NOT in a relationship so I'm not obligated to spend my time with him and we will NOT BE in a relationship any time soon.
