What Would You Do: Asking my husband to turn down dream job for my career

[intellectualuva]

NTA

Her husband knew what he was doing and did it anyway. So now, she gets to accused of being AH because she is responding to his shenanigans? Nah son.
Besides we’ll see how long he keeps that job. Like others said, I’m sure that company is only interested in him because of who he’s married to.

Money and trust are big deal breakers for me so I doubt I could make any relationship/marriage work after this.

I’d love to get an update on this.

 

[ckisland]

This is a situation in which I'm glad that climbing the corporate ladder and making bank don't matter or appeal to me at all. Ambitious women have to be very very careful on who they marry because 99% of men aren't going to miss out on their "dreams" for their wives' careers. They ain't built for that and society doesn't reward them for it.

He's totally a selfish A-hole, but this wasn't likely the first time he was a selfish A-hole. On the flip side, unless I was going to be dubbed the queen of a banging country, I'd been darned that I'd be divorcing my husband for a job. It's not that she founded something or it's her brain child. She's an employee and punches someone else's clock. If she is that degree'd, and is in a super specialized field, you can work for someone else, or become a consultant.

The husband is both wrong and illogical, but the wife sounds hyper-dramatic. But again, I'm coming from a totally different value system.

 

[frizzy]

I wouldn't be divorcing because I wanted to keep the job, but divorcing because of his short sightedness to our financial health, his blatant disregard for my career (me) and his selfishness.

 

[dancinstallion]

This is a situation in which I'm glad that climbing the corporate ladder and making bank don't matter or appeal to me at all. Ambitious women have to be very very careful on who they marry because 99% of men aren't going to miss out on their "dreams" for their wives' careers. They ain't built for that and society doesn't reward them for it.

He's totally a selfish A-hole, but this wasn't likely the first time he was a selfish A-hole. On the flip side, unless I was going to be dubbed the queen of a banging country, I'd been darned that I'd be divorcing my husband for a job. It's not that she founded something or it's her brain child. She's an employee and punches someone else's clock. If she is that degree'd, and is in a super specialized field, you can work for someone else, or become a consultant.

The husband is both wrong and illogical, but the wife sounds hyper-dramatic. But again, I'm coming from a totally different value system.

She is technically already up the ladder making 200k, most individuals climbing the corporate ladder dont make that much. natural advancement and promotion, which is what's supposed to happen in any career, will get her to 600k.

65k and 200+k a year is poverty and wealth in most cases for a family. That woman is making generational wealth that her great grandkids would be able to benefit from.
A man would NEVER turn down a job making 200k for his wife so I dont see why a woman should. That husband is literally more trouble than he is worth.

I would rather be wealthy and single over having a husband like that anyday.

 

[metro_qt]

He is the AH she was upfront and she is the breadwinner and she gave him options. He went behind her back and took the job. If you want more options make more money. It’s cheaper to ditch at $200 k vs 600k

This is what I was waiting for someone to say. I would pay him his palimony at 200k and then work my butt off to increase my salary to the 1M mark....without him

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

She absolutely made the right move. It sucks but they are not on the same page on finances which is a dealbreaker. Not to mention I wouldn't be able to get over the betrayal. And I bet he's been an AH before now. She has the potential to set their family up for generations to come and he's in his egoistic feelings. She offered to pay for him to go back to school or support him until he found something else.

He needs to be gone.