What to say when...(breaking BAD hair care rumors)

[PaperClip]

...somebody says that stretching relaxers can damage hair?

Here's what happened:
At lunch w/my best sistahgirlfriend yesterday and she mentioned that due to time, she didn't get her touch-up (maybe 4-6 weeks) so instead the hairdresser just did a WBC (wash/blow-dry/curl) and that she can come back 2 days later to get her touch-up. Her hair was so pretty and I told her that she didn't need to get a relaxer. She said that she had to get her edges/roots pressed, plus she does work out and she sweats and it's been hot and humid in our town (I can understand that part)....

And then she says that not getting relaxers regularly (or stretching for "extended" periods of time can damage the hair. So the only thing I could think to say is that you have to take care of the ends as well as the roots! eek: Sorry, y'all!)

So I'm thinking that I have seen many LCHF'ers stretch relaxers and offer helpful tips to successfully stretch and grow the hair out. She used to have beautiful shoulder length hair...I mean beautiful. I did talk her out of getting highlights every year in the same sections because her hair was breaking off.

So what could I have said to her to help her understand the relaxer stretching idea?

What other things can I say to people when there's misinformation about hair care? Can we list them here so that people can refer to this thread regularly?

Thanks in advance....

 

[Divalicious]

It's been a while since I had a relaxer, but I think moisturizing and deep conditioning will be helpful to stretch relaxers. Airdrying may also be an option and flexi-rod sets and roller sets might also help. She may also like light protein treatments to keep the hair strong while she's stretching.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

i need to come up with something for the old :you're not supposed to wash your hair everyday" myth...my mother pissed me off with that sooooo bad just last week (she's white) when she said that. all i could say was could u stop friggin saying that! who told u that! i was itate and then told her about all the beautiul heads here lol. i was so angy that i even snatched her laptop and proceeded to log on to the site to try show her the beautiful heads lmao

 

[beana]

Why dont you try to get her to stretch a week or two at a time? In your friends defense, everyone doesn't benefit from stretching. Let me explain, before i knew how to properly care for my hair and manage the two textures stretching HARMED my hair... it was breaking all over. So i would suggest letting her know the importance of deep conditioning and being gentle with the two textures.

 

[ThursdayGirl]

Why dont you try to get her to stretch a week or two at a time? In your friends defense, everyone doesn't benefit from stretching. Let me explain, before i knew how to properly care for my hair and manage the two textures stretching HARMED my hair... it was breaking all over. So i would suggest letting her know the importance of deep conditioning and being gentle with the two textures.

Exactly. Well said.

 

[bLackButtaFly]

Yes, ITA. I think that some people think strettching is bad b/c they don't know how to properly take care of the two textures, so they do get alot of breakage from heat damage, and harsh protective styles, and then they think it was stretcching. When I transitioned to natural I read up and learned how to take care of my hair, and I had no increased breakage or shedding.

 

[ladylibra]

when people question any of my hair care practices and ideas, i just say, "different things work for different people, and you have to find out what works best for you."

for example... co-washing doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me. if someone were to tell me, "it's not good for you to wash your hair every day," i'd agree that washing my hair every day with shampoo that has SLSwould not be good for my hair. and they'd probably be confused as to what SLS is... so they'd shut up...

in your friend's case, RR... stretching relaxers can cause damage if done incorrectly. agree with her, but poing out how it can be beneficial if she does it right. try to convince her to go 8 weeks between relaxers. i used to do that as the minimum... i was in marching band, color guard and track too, so i did lots of sweating but still 8 weeks is nothing, unless her hair grows faster than mine. and mine grows pretty fast. explain to her that overlapping is also really bad for the hair and just stretching a little bit so the stylist can tell actual NG from processed ends would do a world of good for her hair.

 

[TeeKay21]

When people rag on me for using "white folx" products or tell me I should use somethin cause it's not for "us", I tell them it's not about the lady on the label, it's about the quality of the ingredients inside.

I really wish everyone could finally see past who a product is marketed to and be able to read labels and understand what those ingredients will do for thier hair.

Especially when it comes to starting out. When I first started on the hair journey, I was frustrated with the lack of good products I could find, not realizing I could look outside the BSS and the "ethnic" section they give us. Now I feel so liberated that I can go in trade secret and find exactly what I'm looking for!

 

[bablou00]

I think giving her advice wouldnt hurt. Its up to her if she wants to take it in. I have a friend that wears wigs and weaves which has done a lot of damage to her sides from it. I would tell her a few tips that I thought would help her and she would do them occassionaly and her hair has benefited from it. My mom does the same thing about the whole relaxer stretching. She's always like doesn't that cause damage between the two textures? Yes it does if you dont handle it right but I moisturize, DC, protein and keep my hair up so I dont run into those problems. Suggest things like that and maybe try a week or two longer w/o relaxing and she will see the benefits from it.

 

[secretdiamond]

i need to come up with something for the old :you're not supposed to wash your hair everyday" myth...my mother pissed me off with that sooooo bad just last week (she's white) when she said that. all i could say was could u stop friggin saying that! who told u that! i was itate and then told her about all the beautiul heads here lol. i was so angy that i even snatched her laptop and proceeded to log on to the site to try show her the beautiful heads lmao

OT: FlawedBeauty, you've made some great progress! Your mom will eat her words as she sees your hair growing and growing!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

For me, I don't give suggestions to people unless I've tried it and know all of the factors that play in making certain things successful. I feel people are more prone believe by seeing, rather than just telling. I've noticed as my hair has gotten longer and is looking healthier when people ask me what I do to my hair IRL and I give advice or things to do they hang on to my every word and ask questions, become more open minded about things because they see where it's gotten my own hair.

 

[shynessqueen]

Why dont you try to get her to stretch a week or two at a time? In your friends defense, everyone doesn't benefit from stretching. Let me explain, before i knew how to properly care for my hair and manage the two textures stretching HARMED my hair... it was breaking all over. So i would suggest letting her know the importance of deep conditioning and being gentle with the two textures.

ITA; also you have to help them take baby steps. Think about when you first started stretching. You did it step by step but you also had here to run to when you need to know something during your stretch.

 

[blackmaven]

How about giving you friend lhcf website to lurk so she can learn great tips herself. I am confident she will be joining just like all the rest of the ladies.