What should I do?

Danene5

Danene5

New Member
I have been emailing this guy for quite some time. The guy gave me a picture of him. He was OK. So today we decided that we could meet up. I met him at Barnes and Noble. Boy was he BUSTED. He did admit that he was busted and apologized. He also asked me to go out to dinner with him tonight. I told him that I had to finish cleaning up and cooking before I could go out. It is about 90% done. I just don't know. Don't get me wrong we do have good conversations on the phone. But I can't get over how BUSTED he looked. Why would you even want to meet someone looking BUSTED??????????????? I am just afraid that if I agree to go out to dinner with him and he looks busted again I will definately be embarassed. His hair wasn't even cut. He isn't the most attractive guy to begin with so I would expect for him to be on his P's and Q"s. What should I do?
 
Hmm. You could agree to meet him just so you don't have any "What if"s. If he's busted again, find a way to excuse yourself. :look: Or see if you can get through dinner and then cut him off.
 
You already know what you should do.

It would be a major turn off if someone came to meet me for the first time and didn't care about their appearance. That says something about what they think about me and themselves.
 
Go somewhere secluded and dark. :sekret:

:lol: It's hard to say...what was his reason for looking busted? I mean, surely he knows that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. He should have wanted to put his best foot forward on day 1 but perhaps there were some unexpected circumstances that led to him looking a mess. Did he say he doesn't usually look that way or that he would look better tonight?

I would go on the date. Clearly, he has time to get it together, especially since he asked you out so I'd give him tonight and if he was still a super hot mess, I'd move him to the friend bucket.

Good luck!
 
Divine Inspiration said:
Go somewhere secluded and dark. :sekret:

:lol: It's hard to say...what was his reason for looking busted? I mean, surely he knows that you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. He should have wanted to put his best foot forward on day 1 but perhaps there were some unexpected circumstances that led to him looking a mess. Did he say he doesn't usually look that way or that he would look better tonight?

I would go on the date. Clearly, he has time to get it together, especially since he asked you out so I'd give him tonight and if he was still a super hot mess, I'd move him to the friend bucket.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

He stated that he was out riding his bike with his brother. But a motorcycle gives you no excuse to look busted. He shouldn't look busted everyday, with being a car salesman.
 
I'm ova hea dyin laffin!!! I do have one question though. Does he have his own place, job, etc? Just trying to get a feel for what you're dealing with. Even though he apologized, he acknowledged the fact that you were busted. I ask because you can have good convo on the phone with anyone. But if he is busted, and didn't take the time out to clean himself up, me personally, it would be a WRAP! However, go with your first instinct, whatever that may be.

Now, if you showed up busted...trust, it would be a wrap for him. That's how guys are because the first attraction is physical.
 
ThatJerseyGirl said:
I'm ova hea dyin laffin!!! I do have one question though. Does he have his own place, job, etc? Just trying to get a feel for what you're dealing with. Even though he apologized, he acknowledged the fact that you were busted. I ask because you can have good convo on the phone with anyone. But if he is busted, and didn't take the time out to clean himself up, me personally, it would be a WRAP! However, go with your first instinct, whatever that may be.

Now, if you showed up busted...trust, it would be a wrap for him. That's how guys are because the first attraction is physical.
Click to expand...

He states that he has his own place. He has a job. He works at Southern Motors Honda. I googled that man and found his picture. And that picture was busted but we all know pictures can be deceiving.
 
I'm going to "think outside the box" for a minute on this one.

I think for some men, they do not know anything about appearances, such as keeping themselves up, because of the line of work they do, etc. Just like they may keep their places neat, but do not know how to decorate. The brother just may need some help. Not saying go in your wallet, but maybe suggest some ideas, like "let's go to the mall"...u know, browse. Pick out a few nice shirts and say "this would like nice on you, etc." Maybe he'll take the hint.

BUT FIRST, he needs to get on that same said bike that he rode with his brotha and be on the first thing smokin to the barbershop. Going to meet someone and your hair looks a hot mess is a no no.:nono: Then too, if he see that you look nice all the time, and keep yourself together, that may help him step up his game. He would want too....
 
Well since he was on the bike, I might give him a pass...but if he shows up to an official date looking a mess, then kill it.

TJG makes a GREAT point though...I dated a guy like that. He was a good guy but he just had no sense of style. However, he was very receptive to my suggestions and hints so by the time I finished with him, he was a dapper don. :lachen: but seriously, if poor taste is his only crime then he's ahead of a lot of brothas out here.

I say go tonight and sneak photos to show us. :look: :yep:
 
LOL wow. I dont know why guys do that. Posting pics that are 10 years old. I say webcam it before meeting the guy to make sure thats what he really looks like, in the present. Maybe he was just testing you and was planning on getting into some real clothes and a haircut before he took you out. Im hoping thats the case if he was looking busted and knew he looked that way. Shame. :ohwell:
 
If you saw his pic and he wasn't attractive then why even bother with the whole thing?

If i'm not attracted to you then no date, nada, sorry i'm not interested, nice meeting you though, CLICK!

Someone looking OK from a pic is not good. He needs to be a 10 in the picture and a 15 in person.
 
He asked me out and I told him no for dinner. I just felt that for once in my life maybe I shouldn't concentrate so much on the outer appearance. After all that I said, I am sure he will no longer be contacting me.
 
Danene5 said:
He asked me out and I told him no for dinner. I just felt that for once in my life maybe I shouldn't concentrate so much on the outer appearance. After all that I said, I am sure he will no longer be contacting me.
Click to expand...

I would agree if you would have said he was dressed to the "t" and cleaned up the best he could but still wasn't Denzel Washington. That's different. Someone who tries, cares, and works with what they have versus someone who doesn't care all that much and are aware that they didn't try.
 
1. you're not attracted to him.
2. that's made you lose respect for him to the point where your disgust is so very evident in your post.
3. cut your losses and move on.
 
Danene5 said:
He asked me out and I told him no for dinner. I just felt that for once in my life maybe I shouldn't concentrate so much on the outer appearance. After all that I said, I am sure he will no longer be contacting me.
Click to expand...

What did you say? Did you say nah son you too ugly? :lachen:j/k
 
drasgrl said:
What did you say? Did you say nah son you too ugly? :lachen:j/k
Click to expand...

:lachen:

Danene, it's good that you just did what you wanted to do because if he had pissed you off or tried you, that would have made you even more irritated with having given him an undeserved chance in the first place.
 
I've learned to let it go. I've given too many guys a second chance and I've been sorry;first impressions count. Physician at an on-line dating service wanted a chance..everything cool until I read the part about HERPES!!:nono::nono:
 
BrooklynSouth said:
I've learned to let it go. I've given too many guys a second chance and I've been sorry;first impressions count. Physician at an on-line dating service wanted a chance..everything cool until I read the part about HERPES!!:nono::nono:
Click to expand...


HERPES!! Girl that is too much. Fools are everywhere. He even had the nerve to call me today and ask Y. I told him from the jump that I just wanted to meet him and wasn't interested in anything more. I also told him that asking me Y twice made him seem desperate. He then proceeded to say "are you rushing me off the phone" of course my reply was YES. I just don't understand why he doesn't understand, I AM JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. BTW, he called from a different number and not his number and I just answered had I known it was him, I wouldn't have even attempted to answer the phone.
 
drasgrl said:
What did you say? Did you say nah son you too ugly? :lachen:j/k
Click to expand...

I told him that I wasn't feeling him. And that both of us are at two different points in our lives. He wants to get married and find a wife now. I am soooo not looking for a husband at this point. I wanted to tell him how ugly he looked but the Lord directed me. Thank you Jesus!!!
 
Danene5 said:
I told him that I wasn't feeling him. And that both of us are at two different points in our lives. He wants to get married and find a wife now. I am soooo not looking for a husband at this point. I wanted to tell him how ugly he looked but the Lord directed me. Thank you Jesus!!!
Click to expand...
yo draws on fiyah for that right there:lachen::lachen:
 
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