yokoyokogirl
New Member
I found out I was pregnant and I was really excited and wanted to tell DH about this on New Years Day. I had planned an awesome New Years, and I thought this would be the topping. But on the 27th, we got into a huge argument. I asked him to be ready to go (showered and dressed) when I returned from the doctor.
I called when I was almost home and he was just getting up. I must say, I was pissed, ending up cancelling everything and things spiraled downhill from there. He said I didn't wake him up in time, and didn't explain my schedule to him enough. It escalated and he started yelling, I yelled back, the he said some pretty mean things. He started throwing stuff(not at me though), yelling louder saying he is stressed at work, his boss treats him like crap and he can't handle stress at home too. To where I was like get out. I seriously wanted to divorce him right there. I ended up leaving and when I came back he packed up all his stuff and had went to a hotel. (I didn't know where he had went until a few days later.)
I let a day pass, cool down and decided I needed to say sorry. I felt bad about my part, and tried to call and apologize but he wouldn't pick up. Then his Mom called me saying she couldn't contact him too. (It was her bday and they had plans) I kept thinking, he had an accident or something worse. So I did something my friend recommended...I went to his job to see if I could find his car. No car. Then I really started worrying.
Now bear in mind, he works at Costco--but in the office. My friend recommended going inside and asking if staff if my DH (no one knows who I am or what I look like) could help, he's one of the few ppl there who speaks English. So I did, but the person I asked went to get his boss, who said he called in sick. His boss asked for my name and I panicked, couldn't lie and just said my first name. Long to short---the boss put one and one together and figured out that must be his wife.
Ok now Dh finds out, calls me, is even madder than before. He says why would you do that? I explain but apparently my explanation isn't enough. He says a bunch of ish and then hangs up. Then two days later, I'm sleeping and wake up to him on the sofa watching tv. No apology or anything, but he did clean up the stuff he messed up.
He explains his job is stressful, his salary is cut in half from his previous job and he feels like his life sucks, then he comes back home and I have on a "pu-pu" face, so now he's wondering why I'm in a bad mood, overall he is unhappy. I also apologize, tell him I was worried and that's why I went there, maybe not the best idea. Then the news I found out four wks ago that I'm pregnant, we both are happy. New Years Eve comes, we go to the shrine, pray, watch the sunrise, eat traditional food and that's that.
Three days pass, I start bleeding. I go to the doctor and he says I had a miscarriage. No bean on the ultrasound anymore. The doctor suspected something was wrong and it is confirmed. I tell Dh who says "maybe God believes we weren't ready", which throws me into a hysterical crying fit. First he's not even religious and then it just seemed so heartless. He didn't once say "can I do something" or "I'm sorry" or anything. He said he is stressed at work, "I have to focus on my performance, they are reviewing me" and he adds, his boss keeps asking "how is your home life, blah blah" (cause I came to there)...he sends these texts talking about what he ate at lunch, or what he did today...but not one word about the miscarriage. Like it didn't happen. I keep feeling sad, lonely, frustrated, alone. Is it because we had a big argument before, because I came to his job, because of my actions? I realize that might have not been my brightest moment, but it's like he doesn't even care about my feelings for what happened.
To be honest, I'm fine when I'm alone. But when he comes home, it feels like I'm living with the most insensitive person in the world. I want to fix things somehow, but I have no idea how, when, where, what to do to start and I'm just getting more and more content with the idea of leaving.
I called when I was almost home and he was just getting up. I must say, I was pissed, ending up cancelling everything and things spiraled downhill from there. He said I didn't wake him up in time, and didn't explain my schedule to him enough. It escalated and he started yelling, I yelled back, the he said some pretty mean things. He started throwing stuff(not at me though), yelling louder saying he is stressed at work, his boss treats him like crap and he can't handle stress at home too. To where I was like get out. I seriously wanted to divorce him right there. I ended up leaving and when I came back he packed up all his stuff and had went to a hotel. (I didn't know where he had went until a few days later.)
I let a day pass, cool down and decided I needed to say sorry. I felt bad about my part, and tried to call and apologize but he wouldn't pick up. Then his Mom called me saying she couldn't contact him too. (It was her bday and they had plans) I kept thinking, he had an accident or something worse. So I did something my friend recommended...I went to his job to see if I could find his car. No car. Then I really started worrying.
Now bear in mind, he works at Costco--but in the office. My friend recommended going inside and asking if staff if my DH (no one knows who I am or what I look like) could help, he's one of the few ppl there who speaks English. So I did, but the person I asked went to get his boss, who said he called in sick. His boss asked for my name and I panicked, couldn't lie and just said my first name. Long to short---the boss put one and one together and figured out that must be his wife.
Ok now Dh finds out, calls me, is even madder than before. He says why would you do that? I explain but apparently my explanation isn't enough. He says a bunch of ish and then hangs up. Then two days later, I'm sleeping and wake up to him on the sofa watching tv. No apology or anything, but he did clean up the stuff he messed up.
He explains his job is stressful, his salary is cut in half from his previous job and he feels like his life sucks, then he comes back home and I have on a "pu-pu" face, so now he's wondering why I'm in a bad mood, overall he is unhappy. I also apologize, tell him I was worried and that's why I went there, maybe not the best idea. Then the news I found out four wks ago that I'm pregnant, we both are happy. New Years Eve comes, we go to the shrine, pray, watch the sunrise, eat traditional food and that's that.
Three days pass, I start bleeding. I go to the doctor and he says I had a miscarriage. No bean on the ultrasound anymore. The doctor suspected something was wrong and it is confirmed. I tell Dh who says "maybe God believes we weren't ready", which throws me into a hysterical crying fit. First he's not even religious and then it just seemed so heartless. He didn't once say "can I do something" or "I'm sorry" or anything. He said he is stressed at work, "I have to focus on my performance, they are reviewing me" and he adds, his boss keeps asking "how is your home life, blah blah" (cause I came to there)...he sends these texts talking about what he ate at lunch, or what he did today...but not one word about the miscarriage. Like it didn't happen. I keep feeling sad, lonely, frustrated, alone. Is it because we had a big argument before, because I came to his job, because of my actions? I realize that might have not been my brightest moment, but it's like he doesn't even care about my feelings for what happened.
To be honest, I'm fine when I'm alone. But when he comes home, it feels like I'm living with the most insensitive person in the world. I want to fix things somehow, but I have no idea how, when, where, what to do to start and I'm just getting more and more content with the idea of leaving.
