What relationship outlooks do you have that go against the grain?

My biggie:

It's quite okay to go looking for a husband. In my opinion, more women who want to be married and find themselves single longer than they want to be should start looking.

Looking for a boyfriend/husband does not have to = chasing a man. Cause I don't chase or pursue. ;)
 
I do not believe in the need to just air ALL my dirty laundry to my man. Some skeletons need to stay hidden. He does not need to know how many men I've slept with, he does not need to know what sexual acts I've done with ex boyfriends. As long as my past does not effect his health then it can stay in the past.

It is not ok to send my man to go buy pads/tampons, or hold my purse when I get tired of doing so.

While I believe any man worth dating should be a great listener, I do not expect him to be my therapist, and listen to hours of me rambling on about some chick that gave me the stank look at work, like one of my best girlfriends would.

I actually love and respect the differences between men and women. I would never want a man to be anything like me. I love being understanding, nurturing, and feminine, and I LOVE a masculine man. I actually cannot wait to cater to my husband, and have him take care of me.
 
Last edited:
Although I'm 33, I don't believe I have to settle for the first "GOOD MAN" that comes along. Because I'm getting "up there" in age.

I believe in letting a guy know that I'm interested in him; without chasing him.

I believe I'm still single until we are legally married. (But I will remain faithful until then)
 
I think I'd be okay with having gender roles in a marriage. I think it is healthier that way. I want to cook for him, clean for him, pack his lunch, lay his clothes out for him, etc... In exchange I'd expect him to do "male" duties. Not sure how practical this will be when the time comes, but hopefully it will work out that way.
 
Don't really believe in "falling in love" in the most literall sense...

Because you can fall out of it just as easy...

This is not to say I don't believe in love...
 
Besides some of the things already posted I believe:

My husband should be the breadwinner. If I have to I will( as in he got laid off after we were married, he became disabled, etc), but I would expect him to rectify the situation when he was able.
 
My ideal relationship progression and engagement involves kindling or re-kindling mutual romantic feelings for a longtime friend and simply knowing and deciding that we are going to get married, and then doing that. No dating relationship...just calling my parents, family and friends up to tell them when the wedding ceremony is (or the welcome home reception after we've eloped :look:).

What this indicates or whether it is realistic/wise I'm not sure and doubt. But it has always been my ideal scenario: realize feelings for a longtime friend without the "serious relationship" part, then elope.
 
Last edited:
This is a biggy for me. The current guy Im talking to was trying to press the question of how many men Ive been involved with and I told him that it was none of his business. He says he doesnt judge me but going by my mannerisms and how Ive interacted with him he said he would guess between 4 or 5 guys:yep: In my head Im thinking like ummm yeah multiply that by X dude:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen: :nono: If thats what he thinks who am I to correct him?:look:


Mai Tai said:
I do not believe in the need to just air ALL my dirty laundry to my man. Some skeletons need to stay hidden. He does not need to know how many men I've slept with, he does not need to know what sexual acts I've done with ex boyfriends. As long as my past does not effect his health then it can stay in the past.

It is not ok to send my man to go buy pads/tampons, or hold my purse when I get tired of doing so.

While I believe any man worth dating should be a great listener, I do not expect him to be my therapist, and listen to hours of me rambling on about some chick that gave me the stank look at work, like one of my best girlfriends would.

I actually love and respect the differences between men and women. I would never want a man to be anything like me. I love being understanding, nurturing, and feminine, and I LOVE a masculine man. I actually cannot wait to cater to my husband, and have him take care of me.
Click to expand...
 
weaveadiva said:
cheating is not automatic grounds to end the relationship
Click to expand...

Interesting... a fair share of the married couples I've asked "how they made it work" involved forgiving the perpetrator for an extramarital affair/one night stand. My own parents included. :perplexed

I used to say that if my future husband cheated I would divorce him then and there but now, I dunno.
 
Mai Tai said:
I actually love and respect the differences between men and women. I would never want a man to be anything like me. I love being understanding, nurturing, and feminine, and I LOVE a masculine man. I actually cannot wait to cater to my husband, and have him take care of me.
Click to expand...

Right; being submissive can be very fullfilling and sexy.

Lenee925 said:
I used to say that if my future husband cheated I would divorce him then and there but now, I dunno.
Click to expand...

Yeah girl I don't think you ever really know what you'd do.



And I don't really believe in soulmates as I did when I was younger. It really is about finding somebody to make it work with. And the truth is you never know what the longevity will be; you're just taking it one moment at at time. God forbid it doesn't work, you move on, meet someone else and try again.
 
No tv-sport is allowed, unless you actually play IRL.

I do not submit (although roleplay can/will happen but once I'm done it's over).

He will take 50% responsibiltly of offspring, I'm not about to live with a "weekend dad".

If he makes enough I will work part time or not at all and take care of most of the household duties. If I make enough, I expect the same from him.

He will turn up to any and every child function/play/sports event.

He will cook at least 50% of the time.

We will have a joint account for bills and such but I will have my private accounts that is my (and my heirs) business only.

I know, I'm hard to live with but if he still wants me bad enough I will compromise... to a certain extent.

ETA: If he cheats, he needs to know that I will do a Elin and we'll see where we go from there.
 
Nina_deF said:
No tv-sport is allowed, unless you actually play IRL.
I do not submit (although roleplay can/will happen but once I'm done it's over).

He will take 50% responsibiltly of offspring, I'm not about to live with a "weekend dad".

If he makes enough I will work part time or not at all and take care of most of the household duties. If I make enough, I expect the same from him.

He will turn up to any and every child function/play/sports event.

He will cook at least 50% of the time.

We will have a joint account for bills and such but I will have my private accounts that is my (and my heirs) business only.

I know, I'm hard to live with but if he still wants me bad enough I will compromise... to a certain extent.

ETA: If he cheats, he needs to know that I will do a Elin and we'll see where we go from there.
Click to expand...

you mean your man can't watch basketball, if he doesn't play himself?

im just curious, why?
 
Being equal in a relationship isn't about non traditional vs traditional gender roles, who cooks or cleans, or who takes care of the children. It's about reaching mutal agreement with your partner on how you will live your lives with each partner respecting the desires and needs of the other and being willing to compromise and be flexible. I won't accept anything less.
 
mjsliberiangrl said:
you mean your man can't watch basketball, if he doesn't play himself?

im just curious, why?
Click to expand...

Hmmm, basketball you say...

Well, I do compromise but I once lived with a man who watched all sports, I'm talking from soccor and hockey to curling and snooker, it killed me and took sooooo much time. So I guess that's what I mean.
 
If you're not married, you're single.

You don't have to know all my business.

I don't believe in soulmates or the ONE. Relationships are work.

I would rather be with a man who loves me more than I love him.

Marrying solely for love is just as stupid as marrying solely for money. Sometimes love isn't a cure all
 
I'm all about selective disclosure. DH doesn't have to know everything.

I don't have a time-period rule when it comes to sex.

I'm not anti-shacking up.
 
nappystorm said:
If you're not married, you're single.

You don't have to know all my business.

I don't believe in soulmates or the ONE. Relationships are work.

I would rather be with a man who loves me more than I love him.

Marrying solely for love is just as stupid as marrying solely for money. Sometimes love isn't a cure all
Click to expand...

:yep: ITA with all of the above.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

melodee
Do you go against the grain?
Replies
3
Views
1K
Nice & Wavy
Nice & Wavy
MizzBrown
Do You Have A Dating/Relationship Time Limit?
Replies
9
Views
274
imstush
imstush
Danene5
What should I do, Long Distance Relationship?
2
Replies
40
Views
873
Theo
Theo
okange76
Quit the Relationship When...
Replies
8
Views
988
okange76
okange76
SelahOco
Relationship Hypothetical: If Your Were Tiny & TI Was Cheating, What Would You Do?
2
Replies
30
Views
550
Tylers-mom
Tylers-mom
Back
Top