What kinda tomfoolery....?!?!?

[Qualitee]

It's a weave girl it's a weave LOL just playing. She was rude in a way. I mean what ever. Thats one thing when I get to my goal I'm not going to be like "oh I got good hair." because hunny I've seen women with "good Hair" That looks a hot mess!! Any whoo she's probably a member on this broad anyway lol. Kels823 good luck on ur goals hun!!!!

 

[Eisani]

I was trying so hard to stay out of this thread, but I couldn’t get over the title.

If it was me--and I was in a naughty mood--I wouldn’t have missed a beat and said with great enthusiasm

“Oh really?!? So am I!!!! So........what did you say you used on your hair?”

That kind of reply would have challenged her assumptions and make her think about her reply to hair questions is she's approached again. And why not? Most people in the USA have ancestors of various heritages anyway, so it wouldn't be far from the truth.

I mean, it’s not like she’s going to demand to see the family tree...

Like this chick at the bank made a remark to me about if she were black it would be okay. I shot back I'm not black, so I wouldn't know!!! Shoulda seen her face . Kels, foolywang and tomfoolery are some of the most appropriate words at times, aren't they? If I weren't a good Christian, I probably woulda pushed her dayum fo'head

 

[Kurlee]

Wow so basically this chick thinks her hair is the stuff cuz she;s mixed?? DA HELL? This backwards thinking is just so sad. EWW I bet her hair didn;t look so nice after she said that. Whateva, she smellin herself

 

[lilamae]

Maybe you should've repeated the question

ITA!!! and lol and the title of this thread! Hi Kels!!!

 

[tocktick]

maybe she's caught up in that good hair/bad hair thing. if that was the case, i doubt, "i'm mixed" would have been her response to you if you had bsl etc hair . so i co-sign with the person who said she may have thought her hair was better than yours.

i was going to say that maybe it was harmless. for example, when people ask how i "get my hair like this" erplexed, i say this is what it's naturally like. however, her words implied mixed people had naturally more manageable, long hair which is a misconception. being mixed doesn't automatically equal that. if her response had not mentioned her racial make-up then i guess it would have been more innocent...

 

[pinkchocolatedaisy]

It's very sad... and infuriating. I have "friends" like that. Saying things like I want my kid to have "good hair" Just like the light skinned thing. Don't get me started. My daughter is biracial (half black, half Mexican). I constantly let her know that she is beautiful and to love her curly hair. Not b/c of being one race over another. I tell her Black is beautiful and Mexican as well. I always try to find role models and beautiful women of both races to show to her.

This girl the OP had an encounter with obviously wasn't raised that way. And may I add, that I have seen many non-mixed people with beautiful hair! I had APL as a child- full big and nappy- and beautiful! Really, in this day in age who isn't mixed???

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Bless her lil heart. She is mixed with crazy and stupid.

Girl, I am sitting here in tears!!!!!

 

[pazyamor]

yeaaahhhhhh, um, thats pretty much code for my mixed hur is better than urs so regardless of what i use in mine it won't do the same for urs anyways, but thanx for noticin what a douche...

This is the best thing I've ever heard on LHCF!! But really, what a small minded and prejudice thing to say.

 

[FlowerHair]

What an idiot.
No hair will look good without proper hair care, regardless of race or color!

 

[JerriBlank]

I can't quote how many times i've cracked up in this thread!!!

You ladies are high-effin'-larious(how i say it in my head when something's really funny)!!!

 

[MissMasala5]

I second this. I guess no one told her that having "indian in your family" isn't worth what it used to be.

Ok, now, what is this supposed to mean?


To the OP, I think the girl is probably used to people asking if she has her hair chemically straightened or not. She probably gets asked that ALOT. I think if you had rephrased the question, you would have gotten the answer you originally sought. You let it go, your choice. No need to get huffy about what seems to be a misunderstanding.

 

[MissMasala5]

I would like to add that some of the comments on this thread are just...sad and quite revealing about how deeply this ish is affecting your own perceptions of self, as well as projecting those same perceptions onto others, which is extremely unfair.

 

[MissLawyerLady]

Bless her lil heart. She is mixed with crazy and stupid.

That 'bout sums it up!

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Ok, now, what is this supposed to mean?


To the OP, I think the girl is probably used to people asking if she has her hair chemically straightened or not. She probably gets asked that ALOT. I think if you had rephrased the question, you would have gotten the answer you originally sought. You let it go, your choice. No need to get huffy about what seems to be a misunderstanding.

"Do you use anything special on it?"

That was my question. Is that unclear somehow?

No one was getting huffy... it's all love.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I would like to add that some of the comments on this thread are just...sad and quite revealing about how deeply this ish is affecting your own perceptions of self, as well as projecting those same perceptions onto others, which is extremely unfair.

You and I obviously read this thread with two different perspectives.

Most of the responses are lighthearted and in goodnatured fun. A few people spoke out re: their feelings on why she responded the way she did, but I can't see where anyone came off as 'sad' and what not.

 

[MissMasala5]

"Do you use anything special on it?"

That was my question. Is that unclear somehow?

No one was getting huffy... it's all love.

I retract the 'huffy'. Thanks for responding . But as someone who is mixed (half INDIAN) I am asked frequently by Black women about my hair. Since my features are more Black than Indian, the question is usually about what chemicals do I use. When I was 100% natural with a TWA, it was always what type of curl do I use. When I wear my hair long and straight, it's which relaxer do I use. Or if it's 'my' hair. So my mind is 'cued' to these types of questions. Knowing more about hair as I do now thanks to this and other forums, had you asked me that same question, I would have given you the whole low-down on my reggi. Before that time, had you first complimented my hair, then asked that question...I could see myself responding in that knee-jerk manner, too. I just say all this to say, don't be so quick to think the girl was acting foul. It is possible that she was not.

 

[graCeful_89]

Basically

And I'm @ the title of this thread!

oh chile, cosigned XGRACEFUL_89

ohhh and your children are BEAUTiFUL! congrats!!!

 

[MissMasala5]

You and I obviously read this thread with two different perspectives.

Most of the responses are lighthearted and in goodnatured fun. A few people spoke out re: their feelings on why she responded the way she did, but I can't see where anyone came off as 'sad' and what not.

Perhaps you are right. But hair for many of us, whether we are mixed, perceivably mixed, unknowingly mixed or simply not mixed, it's a deep issue, emotionally and psychologically. People say they are above that whole good/bad hair thing, but some of the posts here (I won't single anyone out) seem to play up to that perspective. I suppose I am taking it more seriously than you intended, as you disclaimed in you first post. I apologize for that.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I retract the 'huffy'. Thanks for responding . But as someone who is mixed (half INDIAN) I am asked frequently by Black women about my hair. Since my features are more Black than Indian, the question is usually about what chemicals do I use. When I was 100% natural with a TWA, it was always what type of curl do I use. When I wear my hair long and straight, it's which relaxer do I use. Or if it's 'my' hair. So my mind is 'cued' to these types of questions. Knowing more about hair as I do now thanks to this and other forums, had you asked me that same question, I would have given you the whole low-down on my reggi. Before that time, had you first complimented my hair, then asked that question...I could see myself responding in that knee-jerk manner, too. I just say all this to say, don't be so quick to think the girl was acting foul. It is possible that she was not.

It's all good! I think we all had alot of hair misconceptions before coming to this (or other) forums. The girl that I had a run in with, she probably gets alot of inquiries about her hair just like you do. It mainly threw me off that, even though my question was explicit IMHO, she gave me an answer about her heritage rather than her styling products.

But she may have been on defense since she prolly does get questioned about her hair alot; she prolly has heard some nasty things said to her by jealous people, which caused her to 'nip it in the bud' so to speak. But she also could have responded in the way she may have been raised to think: Don't bother questioning my technique, you can't acheive it due to heritage. Who knows? :shrug:

I'm just glad we all know better...

 

[tapioca_pudding]

Perhaps you are right. But hair for many of us, whether we are mixed, perceivably mixed, unknowingly mixed or simply not mixed, it's a deep issue, emotionally and psychologically. People say they are above that whole good/bad hair thing, but some of the posts here (I won't single anyone out) seem to play up to that perspective. I suppose I am taking it more seriously than you intended, as you disclaimed in you first post. I apologize for that.

I won't get too deep into my feelings/beliefs about this issue, simply because it's a very touchy and as you said, emotionally deep issue. I do agree with you though; I think more people take issue with the good/bad hair thing than are willing to admit.

And I understand why you took it seriously - you could relate, in a way, to homegirl. It's all good. I just didn't want you or anyone else to think I came in here tryin to bash 'mixed chicks' or anything, which is why I pointed out the lightheartedness of it all. Heck, I'm a mutt myself so how the heck would THAT look???

 

[girlyprincess23]

yeaaahhhhhh, um, thats pretty much code for my mixed hur is better than urs so regardless of what i use in mine it won't do the same for urs anyways, but thanx for noticin what a douche...

lmao at the bolded!!!! yo she's crazy!!!! i know tons upon tons of mixed girls...with HORRIBLE hair!!! one always wears it up in this little tiny pony tail (it's actually not a pony tail it just sticks up on the top of her head) on the top of her head (and you can imagine how broke off it is) matter of fact i saw her mother taking her to get a weave!!...and the other is bald on the right side because she had a short piece and tried to keep plastering it to her head with a protein conditioner and i told her you know that's not gel right...it's a conditioner and you need to wash it out...find a gel that works there are tons......did she listen????....NOPE and sure enough when i saw her a month later a great big bald shiner on the side she was putting all that conditioner on!! so whatever with the i'm mixed this is why my hair looks like this.....you're better than me bcoz i would've laughed her!!!

 

[hottestdiva19]

Wow..... Well IMHO we all know a lot of black women feel that they can never grow long hair because their black and that's just the way black hair is. I know I felt this way before finding LHCF. By her saying that she was mixed right off the bat seems like she has the mentality that the reason why her hair is long is because she's mixed .... Thats just how I see it. Although it's very easy to forget, We just have to remember that not all are LHCF educated.

 

[motherx2esq]

(DISCLAIMER: Normally I don't start/participate in threads dealing with race and hair. I am an equal opportunity hair grower. I'm not trying to start drama, issues or anything of the sort. This ish stunned the booboo outta me, and I just needed to throw it out there.)

Lemme tell you what happened about 20 minutes ago.

I walked over to an adjacent building to grab a latte. A girl came in line behind me and she had GORGEOUS thick lush hair, somewhere between APL and BSL. It looked like her ends may have just been trimmed because they were super blunt. Shiny healthy, etcetc. So my overly friendly behind goes,

'Hi! Your hair is so pretty!' <~ this is me, smilin like a nutbag

She flips it. 'Thanks.'

(Now I ain't mad at the flip at ALL. Cuz as I've said before, when I hit my goal, they gonna call me BobbleHead from all the swangin Imma be doin. )

I said (and maybe this is where I made my mistake?), 'Do you use anything special on it?'

She said, 'Oh, I'm mixed.' And proceeded to look at the menu.

.

.

.

.

I'm so dumbfounded. I don't even really know what to think. I guess if I asked specifically about her texture, then I could maybe possibly understand her giving an explanation as to her heritage. But I asked if she used anything special on it. :scratchch

Maybe she thought I meant something about her texture (even tho I didn't say the word texture.. ) which is why she responded that way? She had her hair blown out straight, but from her features you could tell that she was bi/multi racial. That was something I knew off rip, so that wasn't what caught my attention. My attention was piqued by the *bling* of her hair, how healthy it looked. I was just tryin to get the name of a product, yo.....

I dunno. I guess it just caught me off guard. It brings me back to that 'good hair v. bad hair' debate, which I hate because hair is hair is hair, it's gonna do what it does. Healthy hair is beautiful regardless, imho anyway.

Whew. Lemme sip dis here latte and keep it movin.....

What in da heck. Wow people are just

 

[naturalgurl]

I retract the 'huffy'. Thanks for responding . But as someone who is mixed (half INDIAN) I am asked frequently by Black women about my hair. Since my features are more Black than Indian, the question is usually about what chemicals do I use. When I was 100% natural with a TWA, it was always what type of curl do I use. When I wear my hair long and straight, it's which relaxer do I use. Or if it's 'my' hair. So my mind is 'cued' to these types of questions. Knowing more about hair as I do now thanks to this and other forums, had you asked me that same question, I would have given you the whole low-down on my reggi. Before that time, had you first complimented my hair, then asked that question...I could see myself responding in that knee-jerk manner, too. I just say all this to say, don't be so quick to think the girl was acting foul. It is possible that she was not.

With my afro hair I get asked if it's mine or where did I buy my puff. I have American Indian heritage as well(check out the cheek bones) and other blood. I don't think many of us black people are 100% pure anyway so when someone asks me those questions, I don't answer that I'm black or feel the need to give answers that don't answer their questions. I just say it's my hair or that I use all natural products. When it's flat ironed and I get asked those questions, I still don't give a run down on my heritage. I guess people on either side are sensitive to this issue...why is that? Hair IS a big deal I guess and there are some people who are black and don't want to be and people who are mixed that don't want to claim their blackness. I wonder why is that too? It's sad to not like who you are because no matter what you do you can't change it. No matter how you scream you're mixed with other blood besides the black blood doesnt' change it. Not speaking out at you MedMunkey, just wanted to say something. Now watch me get jumped .

 

[cocopuff06]

Bless her lil heart. She is mixed with crazy and stupid.

This thread is so funny! That girl is such a hot mess! But she is not the first person to think that... she is just a product of her environment

 

[onejamifan]

I just say all this to say, don't be so quick to think the girl was acting foul. It is possible that she was not.

I don't know, there are many of us out here who are mixed who've received compliments about our hair/looks our entire lives and have NEVER made such an ignorant comment. No matter how you slice it, she was trying to say that her hair looked that good because she was mixed, not because she took good care of it or had a good hair dresser.

Don't want to make it into a race thing, but think about it, how would it have seemed if the question would have been asked to a woman of a different race and she said, "Oh, I'm white, Asian, Indian (or whatever)" ???

Any way, enough energy has been put into this thread. I hope that homegirl (wherever she is) comes to her senses one day...