What is your Philosophy on Dating?

[Incognitus]

What is your dating philosophy? In this case, I’m referring to a monogamous dating relationship (months/years together is irrelevant—for this survey). Some people call it dating exclusively, some people just call it a relationship. You know what I mean…

1- Your lives are so intertwined, his activities become yours, and yours become his.
2- You spend every free moment together.
3- You take on his hobbies and/or activities, more than he does yours
4- He takes on your hobbies and/or activities more than you do his
5- You have your life, he has his life, and then there’s “couple” time.
6- Both of you maintain you pre-relationship activities/hobbies, and try to squeeze each other in.
7- Other

I was having a conversation with a male acquaintance of mine and he told me how him and his ex had a conflicting philosophy on dating. Among other things, she was insecure, jealous, possessive, and obsessed (his words). It seems as though he wanted to continue his activities (work, volunteer, projects, etc) whether or not she was free to or even wanted to join him. This led me to think about my own “dating philosophy” and the type of connection I preferred. I think I fall under the category of wanting my bf and I to spend most (not all) of our free time together, doing our own thing, or his thing, or my thing. I prefer it that way. I know some people can’t handle that, and rather have a lot more downtime. So ladies, what say you?

 

[Britt]

Definitely - You have your life, he has his life, and then there’s “couple” time.

I don't even have a desire for all his activities to become mine. I like to have a life separately outside of my SO even if that separateness means just being alone or doing things by myself. I've never been one to become totally engrossed in a person's lifestyle and need to spend every moment with them tho...
I do feel like the closer you become, your lives will naturally become more intertwined. But if you're just dating or it's a new relationship I think you should have separate time to sit around and paint your nails w/o any interruption . You'll return his call when your done

 

[MsKinkycurl]

I picked "you have your life, he has his life and then there's 'couple' time"

In the long run the more autonomous you are the more attracted you will be to each other. Find time for your responsibilities and at the very least the people who you will run to if the relationship ends (BFF's, siblings, cousins).

When in doubt I remember that it is better for him to miss me than to have his fill.

 

[SmileyNY]

I'm definitely the type that likes mah space! You have your life, I'll have mine & we'll meet up a couple times a week.

I think that's where a lot of people go wrong... they don't spend enough time apart from their SO to miss each other. That's how things get stale.

 

[Kutie85]

I prefer to do my own thing and he does his own and then have couple time. My ex wanted me to only go to his church, his bible study, bowling with his friends every week, stay at his family reunion all day long, only spend holidays with his family, out with his friends every weekend. It was exhausting.

 

[LiftedUp]

I chose the first one.

Not all activities though but most.

 

[LovelyRo]

I'd like to think my dating philosophy is 6 but, I think it's really 3

 

[GeorginaSparks]

You have your life, he has his life, and then there’s “couple” time.

 

[ScorpioBeauty09]

I'm tentatively choosing #5, only because I've never seen it work effectively. In the long-term relationships/marriages I've seen, one partners' hobbies/activities/life takes center a lot of the time. I think each partner having his/her own life is ideal but I've never seen it work and the relationship last.

 

[janiebaby]

How many outside hobbies/activities are there? I would be so exhausted if I had to immerse myself in someone else's life. Even if we spend every moment outside of work together, I surely don't want to be a tag along to someone who is very active. I need low-moderate activity

 

[swirl]

my relationship "5- You have your life, he has his life, and then there’s “couple” time."
but i would like to be more "1-Your lives are so intertwined, his activities become yours, and yours become his."

 

[BillsBackerz67]

Horrible horrible horrible. Every Gemini male I have dated I can not stand. I'm not one to base my findings solely off of astrology but that's all they had in common. I'm a Gemini too...

 

[Briabiggles]

Horrible horrible horrible. Every Gemini male I have dated I can not stand. I'm not one to base my findings solely off of astrology but that's all they had in common. I'm a Gemini too...

Agreed! I'm a Gemini. I've only dated one Gemini and it was awful!!! The worst 'relationship' I've ever had!

Sent from my iPad mini mini.

 

[prettydarkthing]

deleted

 

[faithVA]

I'm confused. How did this thread switch over to talking about Gemini men?

I think me and my SO currently switch between 5 and 6. There are times we have time for couple time and then there are times when our activities pick up so much we are just squeezing each other in. It works because we both are cool with it and understands that at some point the activities will slow down and we will have couple time again.

I've never successfully dated a guy where we could participate in each others activities and be happy. After a while it got old. I certainly don't want to have to be what he is into. I used to try that when I was younger. And I don't want anyone tagging along who doesn't enjoy my activity. That's like babysitting.

 

[Incognitus]

shameless

 

[LovelyNaps26]

he has his life, i have mine then there's couple time.

i'm engaged now and i think about how this dynamic will changed when we marry. some of his activities will become mine in that if he has a friends i will likely spend more time with them and vice versa. i feel like me time vs. couple time is currently about 80/20 right now. living together with someone really ups the couple time to the point where i will have to actively and intentionally carve out me time (not including work).

all this to say i will be savoring my last year of singleness.

 

[Haymarket]

Sorry. Reading is fundamental, lol.

Sent from my Galaxy... Whichever one I am on at this time