I've gotten myself into a mess with this man, and am now ready to get myself out of this mess. I have had many problems with my bf. Every time I have tried to kick him out of the house, he runs guilt trip on me heavily. He makes me feel really bad for kicking him out. I must stay strong, and get him out of my home. Its a lot easier said than done. What is the best way to go about doing this?
What is the best way to kick out a live in boyfriend?
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PPGbubbles
Well-Known Member
natural_one
Well-Known Member
Is he on the lease?? If not, he has to go when you tell him to. Set a date and let him know that if he is not out by then his stuff will be out front.
PPGbubbles
Well-Known Member
Seriously tho OP
You need to place a higher value on yourself and your peace of mind! Do you have family or a strong male presence that will assist you? You need to let this man know you mean business and truly want him out of your home and out of your life.
If no male is available a simple phone call to your local Police Department can help. They will come to your home and let him know he needs to pack up and leave and will stay at your place till he does. And this can be done without pressing any charges.
Not only will this get him out he will see that you are serious! But you have to put on your brave face and stand by your word OP. Just be aware that If you make a move like this, allowing him back will leave you powerless.
I wish you all the strength in the world OP but this man has got to go and this move need to be final!
You need to place a higher value on yourself and your peace of mind! Do you have family or a strong male presence that will assist you? You need to let this man know you mean business and truly want him out of your home and out of your life.
If no male is available a simple phone call to your local Police Department can help. They will come to your home and let him know he needs to pack up and leave and will stay at your place till he does. And this can be done without pressing any charges.
Not only will this get him out he will see that you are serious! But you have to put on your brave face and stand by your word OP. Just be aware that If you make a move like this, allowing him back will leave you powerless.
I wish you all the strength in the world OP but this man has got to go and this move need to be final!
You need to be serious, men know when you are "play pimping". When you are sick and tired of being sick and tired, and you tell him to step, he will step. No need to get the po po involved unless he has been violent to you before. If not, he is just another lazy ninja who knows what he can get away with and you have let him do it in the past.
Your actions need to follow your words and they haven't.
I hate to piss on your parade but that is how I see it and how I have seen it in the past with women and men that I know. When they put their foot down and meant it, the dude or chick moved on without any problems. They were on to the next person they could be lazy on.
Your actions need to follow your words and they haven't.
I hate to piss on your parade but that is how I see it and how I have seen it in the past with women and men that I know. When they put their foot down and meant it, the dude or chick moved on without any problems. They were on to the next person they could be lazy on.
Pamsc
Well-Known Member
In some states, whether he is on the lease or not does not matter. If he has been living there you have to file the proper paperwork w/ the magistrate office to have him evicted. That's only if he has not paid his share of the rent. However, if you own your home and want him out...make like NIKE and "Just Do It"....seriously, when he leaves one day, change the locks. Call him and make arrangements for him to pick up his things and make sure the police is present at said time. HTH
brown_skin_poppin
New Member
Pack up all his stuff and put it outside ur house and then change the locks
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kupenda
Well-Known Member
And after you do what everyone else said, get a few post its. Put one on the mirror in the bathroom, one by the telephone, and one by the front door. On them write something to remind you to be strong, whether it's a meaningful quote or the fun mantra from barbershop 2: he ain't shyt lol. That's to remind you when you go to the phone to call him, that he isnt worth you and what you have to offer. If he comes to the door begging, look at the post it and remember! He isn't worth you. And when you're brushing your teeth, experimenting with your hair, washing your face, you can't help but remember that he absolutely is not worth you.
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No we will not be together after he moves out. This is my way of ending the relationship.
No, he isn't on the lease.
kweenameena
Well-Known Member
Give him a date to be out by and on that date send his arse to the store (if he hasn't left) and change the locks. 
yora88
Well-Known Member
Give him notice. File the necessary paperwork with the court or just get him to sign a document and after 30 days kick his arse to the curb and change the locks.
Don't kick him out without giving him a 30 days notice, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen, illegal eviction.
Don't kick him out without giving him a 30 days notice, that's a lawsuit waiting to happen, illegal eviction.
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
If he has been living with you longer than 30 days, it may be hard to just kick him out.
Is he actually refusing to leave, or are you asking how to break it to him that he has to leave? If guilt is your issue, you just have to be strong and not let him manipulate you into letting him stay.
Is he actually refusing to leave, or are you asking how to break it to him that he has to leave? If guilt is your issue, you just have to be strong and not let him manipulate you into letting him stay.
when i tell him that i wish for him to move, he has stated how black women don't support black men, how i have been a horrible girlfriend and that i didn't treat him all that great, and throws past break ups in my face. Then i end up feeling bad. But i have got to stay strong.
I wish i could do this because i most defenitely would. My lease states that if i break the lease, i will still be more responsible for the remainder of the rent.
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
chile puleez...dayum alluvdat. it's too dayum hot to be goin thru da bullshyt.
stay home, pack his stuff and put it out. change da locks n call it a day. block his number so u don't hafta hear da bullshyt.
when u put ur foot down and stand for something, he'll respect you more cuz lemme tell u, if da shoe was on the other foot, you woulda been outta his house long time ago, writing to us tellin us how u don't have a place to stay.
betta handle ur bidness n stop playin.
stay home, pack his stuff and put it out. change da locks n call it a day. block his number so u don't hafta hear da bullshyt.
when u put ur foot down and stand for something, he'll respect you more cuz lemme tell u, if da shoe was on the other foot, you woulda been outta his house long time ago, writing to us tellin us how u don't have a place to stay.
betta handle ur bidness n stop playin.
Do_Si_Dos
Well-Known Member
I was thinking this when I saw the title!!!
But seriously OP, go watch "Waiting to Exhale" it will give you some ideas
If you dont want to be dramatic skip the fire and just sale everything for a dollar. Oh yeah, change the locks!!!
SweetNic_JA
Well-Known Member
I would have told him that Black women aren't supposed to literally support their men. He needs to get off his lazy behind and find his own dwelling and find his own way through life. Not all relationships are meant to last, and just because past relationships fail, doesn't mean that your future ones will too.
You need to get rid of this dude. He his holding you back from bigger and better things.
Every day he stays up in your bed, is one less day you have to wait to meet the love of your life.
Windsy
New Member
Embarrass him in front of his friends and family. I know someone who couldn't get rid of a dude so she had someone call his best friend and tell the friend how she (the live in GF) was fed up and sexually frustrated because they had not been together in months & that she was concerned that her brothers would come throw him out, plus a whole lot of other stuff.
Before this live in GF had packed his stuff a couple times & he would just come home and unpack it. After GF's bestie humiliated with his boy, he packed up himself and left.
Before this live in GF had packed his stuff a couple times & he would just come home and unpack it. After GF's bestie humiliated with his boy, he packed up himself and left.
CurliDiva
Well-Known Member
OP, there seems to be more to this story!
Why would a MAN want to stay with a woman that does not want him? :/
How long have you been to together? is this man working and paying the rent?
I'm sorry but just putting his stuff out is also sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Talk to your leasing office, you may have to pay an penalty, but most will let you out of your lease with proper/advance notice.
You don't want to mess up your credit, get sued or arrested over drama.
Why would a MAN want to stay with a woman that does not want him? :/
How long have you been to together? is this man working and paying the rent?
I'm sorry but just putting his stuff out is also sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Talk to your leasing office, you may have to pay an penalty, but most will let you out of your lease with proper/advance notice.
You don't want to mess up your credit, get sued or arrested over drama.
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Britt
Well-Known Member
Yep...
And if that doesn't work, I'd change the locks. I'm hoping he's not the ignorant type, if so if I were in that position I'd find a male friend, cousin, relative, someone to be there when he's there to kindly usher him out. I understand not wanting to cause a scene and wanting the neighbors all in your business.
that depends on the reason ur kicking him out lol. if he tries to give you a guilt trip then just keep reminding urself about everything he does that annoys the heck outta you lol. that always help me when im feeling bad for anyone who has crossed me.
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
i wouldn't care if he was ignant or not. i'd show him whose balls were bigger cuz see, men like him are cowards. he ain't tryna go to court to sue for something that don't belong to him because if dat was the case, he wouldn't be takin her on some guilt trip.
find a bunch of guys, and put his stuff out.
yall know me. i'd go out in a blaze of glory. his drawers, sneakers, all dat would be outside. i wouldn't give a dayum bout no neighbors or anybody watchin.
and would be sittin on da stoop smokin a newport, tote'n waitin for a bama to get stoopit. but das just me tho....gotta do it jersey style...
let my daughter call me wif some bs bout some boy. she already know how momma roll...it be on n poppin.
find a bunch of guys, and put his stuff out.
yall know me. i'd go out in a blaze of glory. his drawers, sneakers, all dat would be outside. i wouldn't give a dayum bout no neighbors or anybody watchin.
and would be sittin on da stoop smokin a newport, tote'n waitin for a bama to get stoopit. but das just me tho....gotta do it jersey style...
let my daughter call me wif some bs bout some boy. she already know how momma roll...it be on n poppin.