What do you do when...

[aribell]

...one spouse wants children by a certain age, and the other one is purely concerned with reaching a certain level of financial comfort first?

How do you deal with this situation?


Asked on behalf of an inquiring mind.

 

[deltagyrl]

Dang. This wasn't discussed prior to marriage?

Kinda important.

Waiting until you can afford it makes more sense.

Counseling.

 

[Mortons]

Compromise and make a plan to save up xyz by year abc and get pregnant then.

 

[lesedi]

Dang. This wasn't discussed prior to marriage.

Kinda important.

THIS.

Marriage isn't all about the dress and the cosy nights in you envisage. It's about MONEY, KIDS, VALUES.

People marry without knowing the values, aspirations and life plan of the partners????? Where dey do dat at?

 

[ThickHair]

I am with, this should have been discussed before marriage.

My thing is the woman is the one who is going to carry the baby and if she doesn't want to then she should be forced.

Now if the woman married a guy thinking he would change his mind then tsk tsk.

 

[aribell]

I guess a married couple's financial situation could change or they could not be where they thought they would be by a certain point, and one person might want to wait because of it and the other might want to go ahead.

It's definitely a lifestyle question, too, because what a couple can make work and what is financially comfortable are different things.


So what would an engaged couple do to address this? I'd assume they should be in agreement on this before getting married, but is it a dealbreaker?

 

[Fine 4s]

I'm thinking along these lines as well...

My SO and I have openly talked about marrying one another BUT the baby issue is...well, an issue. I don't want one NOW (and honestly not 100% sure I want one ever.)
Because he's 10 years older and already has a child, he doesn't care either way, to have or to not have. My biological clock is ticking and I'm heading towards 40. However IF I do decide to have a child, he'd prefer to have one ASAP and as for me, I'd rather hit a certain financial comfort before having a child. We can def. afford one now, but for whatever reason, I want to afford one on my own salary....juuuuuuust in case. :S