What Do Y'all Think this SMS Means?

msbettyboop

msbettyboop

Well-Known Member
One of my friend's SO sent her the sms below last night after they had a fight two days ago. She wouldn't tell me all the details but she showed me the text and wanted me to tell her what I thought it meant. I told her it sounds like she's been dumped in a subtle manner but she doesn't agree so maybe I don't understand man speak or something. Told her I'd ask on here. So what do you guys think? Dumped or not?

"I will let you do what's best for you out of love for you. I won't keep someone that doesn't want to be with me. About the work thing - don't worry or waste your prayers. I'll be fine. I guess I should focus on my family and do what's best for them anyway. Take care and do what you see as best for you and your family."
 
I agree with the other two ladies. Sounds like he's ready to move on, and trying to make it ok for her to move on. With out details of what was said in the arguement that's the best guess I can make.
 
Yup, you do you. I'll do me. It sounds like he still cares for her but is willing to let her go. Either way it's the same thing. She's been let go.
 
If she has to ask other people thats a bad sign that they are not in synch...No one can tell you about your relationship. We don't know enough about the fight, his character, her character to make an assumption, that being said here is my four cents.

It doesn't sound like he is really dumping her to me...In my MANY years of dating/relationships/marriage, I have seen guys say things like "I guess we should break up" or "Maybe we shouldn't be together" after an emotional fight because instinctively a lot of men equate hard times in a relationship as it being OVER. I believe its because they don't like verbal conflict because for the most part MEN are not good at it. If you look at how dudes interact, if they get to the point where they need to argue they usually hook off on each other to settle it (friend or foe) but most times they let stuff blow over. Women for the most part DO NOT. So when they get into a verbal disagreement with a woman its rough for them emotionally cause they don't know how to interact with the verbal smack down most women can dish out.

UH, YEAH so after my dissertation...I vote MAYBE.:lachen:

He might just be testing her cause as awful as it might sound to women...
Guys do things like that, even in marriage, knowing full well that breaking up would not be like high school where we would see each other in the hall but would not make out anymore.:look: Now if they are fully invested in each other, and she still wants him I would call him out on why he is even talking about leaving etc..etc...Now if he is still talking that dooms day mess after they have a rational conversation, she should distance herself. If they are not that serious and she is ready to let go too then she should.

That message sounds a little too emotional on his part to say he really is leaving, when dudes are ready to REALLY be out...It usually get ugly, acting like a jerk, talking like a jerk and really distancing themselves from you.
 
Solti said:
UH, YEAH so after my dissertation...I vote MAYBE.:lachen:
He might just be testing her
Click to expand...

See, I could get a whole lot out that text and write a dissertation:lachen:too but there are just too many variables, none of which we know about except the text so... I go with take him at his word and see what happens. That way you expend the least amount of energy on it.
 
Why don't you suggest to her to just ask him what the text message means instead of asking you or asking random online people???
 
lafani said:

Would a nice guy be dumping someone via sms???? It seems so cruel and childish and they're both supposed to be adults.
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Well, he could be a nice coward. :lachen:

Some people don't like confrontation and while it wasn't the best method he let her know where he stood.
 
"I will let you do what's best for you out of love for you. I won't keep someone that doesn't want to be with me. About the work thing - don't worry or waste your prayers. I'll be fine. I guess I should focus on my family and do what's best for them anyway. Take care and do what you see as best for you and your family."
[/QUOTE]


ummm...yeah, it's curtains and da fat lady has sung her last song yall!

That message sounds a little too emotional on his part to say he really is leaving, when dudes are ready to REALLY be out...It usually get ugly, acting like a jerk, talking like a jerk and really distancing themselves from you.

I don't think this is necessarily true. I think it probably got ugly when they had the argument two days ago. I don't think it's too emotional, but sensible and honest. Usually when a man says something, especially along these lines, he means it. No sense in calling him. Since he is the one who broke it off, dayum if I would call him. Phuckit, cry two tears in a buckit and keep it movin....

OP - Are you serious when you say your friend doesn't know what it means...... she couldn't figure that text out????
 
[QUOTE

OP - Are you serious when you say your friend doesn't know what it means...... she couldn't figure that text out????[/QUOTE]

I know right. It seemed pretty obvious but she seems to think otherwise and won't tell me the exact details of the argument. She seems to think he's just acting out and will call her in a few days but I think elvis has left the building. I hope she accepts it and doesn't start something stupid like chasing him on the phone or email or showing up at his place unannounced.
 
It seems like he got the impression she didn't want to be with him anyway so he took the liberty of ending it.
 
lafani said:

Would a nice guy be dumping someone via sms???? It seems so cruel and childish and they're both supposed to be adults.
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The nice guys will dump you so sweetly, and no guy wants confrontation with tears, text message seems the best. She got dumped. Most people don't closure, she got it and should me on. Are you serious that she didn't realize that she got dumped? WOW

I was unbeknownst to me, dumped once in an email. Thank goodness I was not into him, he was just filling the time for me. It was very funny and I forwarded to all of my friends The funniest part of the email was "Oh, Thickhair, I believe that we are moving slower then I would like and I just don't think we were meant to be. I need something stable in my life, I want to get married and start a family. Don't CRY OVER ME, you are a beautiful, strong, smart woman and any guy would be lucky to have you. It's just that you are a bit to casual for me and I think if I continue to pursue you my feelings are going to get hurt. I just can't take being hurt again, so it would be best that we part. I can't remain friends with you because I was falling in love with you. Please go live your life and never call me, it would hurt too much." A case when we were not seeing eye to eye. We weren't even bf\gf. That is what made the whole thing humorous. Oh, it makes my sides hurt laughing thinking about that email. This dude was in his 40's.

At least it wasn't a Post It, a la Sex in the City.
 
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ThickHair said:
The nice guys will dump you so sweetly, and no guy wants confrontation with tears, text message seems the best. She got dumped. Most people don't closure, she got it and should me on. Are you serious that she didn't realize that she got dumped? WOW

I was unbeknownst to me, dumped once in an email. Thank goodness I was not into him, he was just filling the time for me. It was very funny and I forwarded to all of my friends The funniest part of the email was "Oh, Thickhair, I believe that we are moving slower then I would like and I just don't think we were meant to be. I need something stable in my life, I want to get married and start a family. Don't CRY OVER ME, you are a beautiful, strong, smart woman and any guy would be lucky to have you. It's just that you are a bit to casual for me and I think if I continue to pursue you my feelings are going to get hurt. I just can't take being hurt again, so it would be best that we part. I can't remain friends with you because I was falling in love with you. Please go live your life and never call me, it would hurt too much." A case when we were not seeing eye to eye. We weren't even bf\gf. That is what made the whole thing humorous. Oh, it makes my sides hurt laughing thinking about that email. This dude was in his 40's.

At least it wasn't a Post It, a la Sex in the City.
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:lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

I know the feeling.... and it makes me laugh so hard
 
yeh she got dumped, but no one can ever get rid of feelings that quick and he seems to still have alot of feelings for her. So if she still wants to stay with him, there is still enough time to try and get back with him.

Im guessing he mite be waiting for her to try anyway.... just to see if their relationship is something to work hard to keep.
 
I vote maybe..it's clearly a 'mixed message'
that leaves room for her to make
compromise
and he sounds hurt.....not dismissive
confused ...and fragile ..vulnerable
when men are like this and unsure of the woman
they do what he does...put up a defense...to protect from being further
hurt

..I will put it out there...our love could be over and I will put it out there
BEFORE you do
since it seems you dont want me anyway

is how I read it...that's a protective device

I wont keep someone who doesnt want me
is not a message of break up per se
rather it's an opening
an invitation for her to give reassurance

I DO WANT YOU
AND I LOVE YOU TOO
LET'S WORK THIS OUT

rarely will a man dump you who says I love you
...like this
Dumping is a VERY different energy
don't get me wrong..... it might happen
but that message is more an indication of trouble
or warning if someone does not speak up

I hope she did if she wants him
 
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Maybe. I remember someone texted me after an argument. " I really do adore you and I tried so hard. I wish it had been better." I texted back and asked if it was over. He asked me where I got that from? :rolleyes: Texts can be the devil. So chick should have asked right then. Only he knows what he meant.
 
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