What can you do when a hair type is resistant to everything?

[Mattie26]

I ask this because my youngest dd has hair that we can't do anything to and I mean anything. Pressing reverts in seconds, she can't relaxe because it eats her scalp. Braids aren't good either, her hair is so course that it just pops through and doesn't look right. Her edges and nape are chewed up and basically gone. Her hair type might be something like a 4z if that is the coursest. It's about 2-3 inches in some spots in the front and sides the back is about 1.2-2 inches. She saw my hair for the first time in a year and was like dang ma I'm balded. I just wanted to cry, I just told her that she wasn't and that I was going to help her with her hair. I told her we would work on getting her and inch by her B-day which is in Jan I figure that gives up time to twick some stuff.

1-I made up a mix of MN for her
2-made some castor oil EVoo
3-Vegtable glycerin and rose water
4-gave her a small bottle of Chi Kertin Mist
5-some BB castor oil cream plus baggys

I clarifyed her hair applied Profectiv Mega Growth Conditioner and then the BB and castor mix and let it air dry it was better but not great for a couple of hours then it was back to normal for her. Can anyone who has or knows someone with hair like this give any advise. She's 12 and never really had long hair if it wasn't braids and I really would love to be able to help my baby. She's talking about Sister locs but I don't know. Again any help is welcome. TIA

 

[charmtreese]

This is a tough one. Since she is a tween, styling can be tricky especially if you're styling for health. I would suggest hiding her hair in wigs if she were older, but middle schoolers can be unforgiving and might tease her. Do you have any pics of her hair...that way it would be easier to help you come up with realistic and age appropriate styles.

 

[Rocky91]

first of all, i just love seeing a mother taking an interest in their daughter's hair-so I really commend you.
i'm not very good at giving advice, but all i have to say is try intensive deep conditioning treatments for a while. such as, DC her every night for a week.
as far as styling, when you said braids don't look right, did you mean individuals like micros? if so, then some nice cornrows would be great and age appropriate. if you find a good braider, you can get them redone every two weeks as a nice resting protective style. i hope some other ladies chime in with better ideas.

 

[Mattie26]

Here is a pic of her hair it's pretty much been the same all her life. She's my mini me exept for the hair.

sorry so some but it's the only one that I have of her that is up to date.

 

[Rocky91]

is she natural? maybe i missed that in your first post-my apologies-it's early

 

[msa]

I agree with Charm, a picture would help.

Also, any hair type can be coarse but I'm wondering if her hair is just reqlly dry. Does she still have any relaxer in her hair? What has your regimen been for her up until now? Detailed please. What caused her edges and nape to disappear?

And please do not start putting mn on her scalp. She's only 12 and who knows what type of side effects there could be. If you want to use a growth aid on her, use something natural. As far as other products for right now I definitely think you guys should be cone/mineral/petroleum free.

 

[Mattie26]

first of all, i just love seeing a mother taking an interest in their daughter's hair-so I really commend you.
i'm not very good at giving advice, but all i have to say is try intensive deep conditioning treatments for a while. such as, DC her every night for a week.
as far as styling, when you said braids don't look right, did you mean individuals like micros? if so, then some nice cornrows would be great and age appropriate. if you find a good braider, you can get them redone every two weeks as a nice resting protective style. i hope some other ladies chime in with better ideas.

We've done the kinky twists and individuals and her hair is to short of do cornrows and it just stickes out through the braids but we might can do a combo I don't know.

 

[AfroKink]

You said that braids don't look right be cause her hair sticks out. This is a natural property of 4b hair. It looks fuzzy. So is it that she doesn't like it, or that you dont like the way it looks in braids?

Also, if she's talking about sister locs, why dont you have it done?

What is her current hair routine? (from wash to style then rewash)

Lys

 

[Mattie26]

Yes she is natural she hasn't had a perm in a long time I don't know when her last one was because I haven't seen her in over a year. (Long story rather not get into it), I'm not sure of her reggie. I think my cousin just has her grease her scalp with Beramont and some hair mayo as a leave-in. I don't even think that she has a reggie to tell the truth. I made her a chart to use for a reggie I just have to wait until they get home and tell her not to use the MN then thanks MSA she was going to start that tommorrow accourding to the chart. And I think that her edges and nape fell out because her hair was braided to tight. But I'm not sure.

 

[jerseygurl]

I'm going to agree with MSA and say her hair is dry. She needs some serious DC stat. Get a dryer if you don't have one already and get on it. There are many cone free DCs out there and also home remedies like honey you can use to infuse moisture in her hair.

For the braids, if the hair is properly combed and done in small sections they will come out good. Don't braid too tight though.

Is she now staying with you? If so, visit the children's hair forum and get some styling tips.

 

[charmtreese]

I agree with Charm, a picture would help.

Also, any hair type can be coarse but I'm wondering if her hair is just equally dry. Does she still have any relaxer in her hair? What has your regimen been for her up until now? Detailed please. What caused her edges and nape to disappear?

And please do not start putting mn on her scalp. She's only 12 and who knows what type of side effects there could be. If you want to use a growth aid on her, use something natural. As far as other products for right now I definitely think you guys should be cone/mineral/petroleum free.

This is what I'm thinking too!!!

I would suggest weekly conditioning treatments and rollersets or braidouts. These styles can we worn with a slight tosseled effect giving it an edgy youthful look while camouflaging any damage or uneveness.

As far as growth aids...I would stick to using natural ingredients that have been noted to aid in growth, thickness and overall hair health. I really like castor oil, henna and black & bossie natural hair oil.

Also the best thing you can do is to get her more involved in her own haircare. Come up with a simple reggie that incorporates the basic's, a few products that will work for her hair type and start taking pictures to get her excited about whats to come. You may even want to open her an account on here or bhm....Good Luck and I'm sure you both will be successful!!!

 

[msa]

Yes she is natural she hasn't had a perm in a long time I don't know when her last one was because I haven't seen her in over a year. (Long story rather not get into it), I'm not sure of her reggie. I think my cousin just has her grease her scalp with Beramont and some hair mayo as a leave-in. I don't even think that she has a reggie to tell the truth. I made her a chart to use for a reggie I just have to wait until they get home and tell her not to use the MN then thanks MSA she was going to start that tommorrow accourding to the chart. And I think that her edges and nape fell out because her hair was braided to tight. But I'm not sure.

So she had a horrible regimen before. Ok. What's the regimen you devised for her? Castor oil would be good for her nape and edges, people seem to be having good progress with that (check out neith's thread).

As far as styling hmmmm. Can she get her hair cornrowed into a bun? Her cornrows will look great once her hair stars getting moisturized and healthy. I'm just wondering if there's a style it can be braided in that doesn't make her edges look so obvious. And of course the braids can't be too tight. But I think getting it braided every few weeks will really help her retain length an it will be age appropriate.

 

[knt1229]

I'm a 4b and your daughter's hair sounds nothing like mine.

Is her hair natural or does it still have relaxer in it? Are her edges and nape chewed up because of the relaxer or has she been in hair weaves? If relaxer eats up her scalp have you taken her to a dermatologist to see if she has any damage to the hair follicles due to chemical burn?

Do you ever DC her hair? If her hair is as fragile as it sounds she needs weekly dc's and regular co-washing. Plus, a good leave in/moisturizer that needs to be applied after every wash/condition and daily or as frequently as needed. Just make sure her hair is never dry.

She also needs low manipulation styles. Like braids, twists, and buns. There are some really cute and young styles that can be done with braids, twists and buns.

I have never heard of a very course hair texture not holding braids so maybe you could hire someone to braid it for you. Or get a family member or friend to do it.

Everything doesn't work for everybody so you may need to re-eavaluate the products you are using on her hair.

At the very least keeping her hair moist, deep conditioned and minimum manipulation should help the hair grow.

 

[Urban]

Unfortunately if her hair is course, that's just the way it is. Shampoo and conditioner can't really change that. So I think the first step is to accept (both you, her and whoever else takes care of her) her hair for what it is.

Next thing is that she's obviously not retaining much length. This is usually caused by breakage through being rough with the hair or excessive dryness. Do you think these could be affecting your daughter's hair?

Since braids are damaging her edges, is it possible to not them done anymore, or perhaps you could find a gentler braider and maybe also find a way to not braid the edges (i think a few ladies here do this)???

 

[msa]

1-I made up a mix of MN for her
2-made some castor oil EVoo
3-Vegtable glycerin and rose water
4-gave her a small bottle of Chi Kertin Mist
5-some BB castor oil cream plus baggys

I clarifyed her hair applied Profectiv Mega Growth Conditioner and then the BB and castor mix and let it air dry it was better but not great for a couple of hours then it was back to normal for her.

Ok, so looking at this list of stuff I'd cut out everything except for the castor oil (and the evoo).

Because her hair is dry and undermoisturized you need to stay away from anything that could possibly lead to more dryness. So that means no cones, no petroleum, and no mineral oil (also known as paraffin liquidium).

Here's what I would do:
1. Clarify with V05 Kiwi Lime Clairfying Conditioner (or even their shampoo, but I would think the conditioner would be more moisturizing).

2. Quick cowash with a V05 moisture milks conditioner.

3. DC with a real moisturizing conditioner under heat for 30 mins. I recommend Aubrey Organics White Camellia. It is AMAZING (you can get it on vitaglo.com for like 6$ if you don't want to buy it in whole foods for 10$). If you can't get AO right now, when you pick up the V05 the store should have Giovanni Smooth as Silk conditioner. It is also great, no cones and what not, and is really good for dcing.

4. You can detangle while the dc is in or rinse, add moisturizer, and then detangle. You can use V05 for the moisturizer (lots of people here do) and just seal it with castor oil. Or you can search for another moisturizer, but make sure it has none of the "bad" ingredients in it. I wouldn't use glycerin because it could just make the dryness worse if there's not enough moisture in the air for it to pull from.

Don't grease her scalp, just use castor oil on the trouble spots. It looks like she could definitely do cornrows with a bit of added hair if the braider doesn't braid too tight. So you would want to spray her hair with a braid spray every day or moisturize with diluted V05 and seal with castor oil.

*If you want to do an extra step, start off every wash day by prepooing with coconut oil on dry hair. About an hour before you're ready to wash, slather on the coconut oil and put on a cap, her body heat will help it sink in. Then proceed to washing like normal. It penetrates and helps slow protein loss from the strand and it will really help with detangling and increasing the softness of her hair. I do it before I wash, every single time.

 

[gymfreak336]

I think some serious consistent conditioning is in order. Many ladies already gave some great advice. I would also look at Queeny's fotki. She has three girls who have very thick coarse 4b hair and she has managed to take of it beautifully. She can probably give you some more help.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

Have you tried braid extentions?

 

[msa]

Have you tried braid extentions?

The braid extensions are the reason she has no edges/nape right now. It probably wouldn't be a good idea to do them again.