What are your reasons for celibacy?

SimpleKomplexity

SimpleKomplexity

New Member
I feel so bad lately. I've been celibate for over 4 months, but I don't think my will is strong as I would like because I didn't commit to celibacy because of God. I didn't stop having sex because God wants me to, or I want to get closer to God. I did so because I was tired of feeling empty and used.

I go back n forth from time to time and think that I should call it quits with the celibacy thing for whatever reason, but I think it would be different if I were doing it for God and myself and I would have more commitment. What were your reasons to remain celibate?
 
You don't have to commit to celibacy because of God... there are non-religious folks practicing celibacy too... I also don't think that one's reason for celibacy makes it more likely that they'll stick with it or not... it depends on the person.

I guess you have to ask yourself... if you give up celibacy, how will that improve your life and your feelings about yourself after sex with someone?
 
Cuz if he doesnt wanna be my Husband, then I'm not letting him touch me!

is that harsh? then GOOD! :lachen:
 
I'm celibate because I'm a Christian. That's the only reasoning I need but that's because I have resolve in my decision.

If you are tired of being used then why would you stop being celibate? Really think about why you're doing it and stay true to what you want for yourself.
 
I am celibate because I usually rush things. I told myself I wouldn't do that this time. I am going to expand the "getting to know you phase". It also helps that my SO wants to take things slower than slower and we are not putting ourselves in any hot and heavy situations.
 
Firstly, for spiritual reasons. I made a vow to God that the next man I have sex with will be my husband, no questions. I now understand the deeper reasoning behind "no sex till marriage". It makes sense to me.

Also, I have a history of rushing into physical relations without building a bond with the person. After the initial rush faded, I was left feeling used and empty. I'm no longer going to willingly add emotional baggage to my life.
 
SK, you shouldn't need an act of God to tell you that you might need to remain celibate.

You dont even have to be religious. I bet if you sat down and REALLY look at your sexual past and really look at what you have gained/loss from it then that should give you the clues to tell you whether you should remain that way or fall back.

You've given away a piece of yourself to a man/men and at the present time, what have you gained from it? Are you any better? Are you any worse? He still didnt marry you. Did you even get an orgasm? Is your self-esteem any better or worse? Does he like you more or less?

Did the sex make you emotionally stronger or worse? Where are your sexual partners today? Could they even remember you? Can you remember them? Are you okay with that?

You say you already feel empty and used and thats enough reason right there for you to abstain.

You dont even need God to reaffirm that for you since you already know and feel it....The fact that you took the initiative to do it yourself would be enough to please him and probably bring you closer to him cause he is already in you.
 
The Holy Spirit convicting me. Dying to the sin of fornication and getting in right relation with my Lord and Savior.This ONLY applies to me cant speak for other.
 
The reasons why I'm not doing the do is 1) I believe God reserved sex for marriage for a reason. Its makes certain emotions rise out of us that we don't really want to give to just any ole' body. Also, it's sooo much better when you love somebody, it makes the whole process better. 2) Also, once you start, it's very hard for most to stop. VERY hard from what I hear.

I think that everytime you think about ending your celibacy, you should remember why you started. You should never give yourself to someone who doesn't feel the same way you do. And the lasting feeling of emptiness is not worth a temporary good feeling.

Hope you feel better bella...
 
Ramya said:
I'm celibate because I'm a Christian. That's the only reasoning I need but that's because I have resolve in my decision.

If you are tired of being used then why would you stop being celibate? Really think about why you're doing it and stay true to what you want for yourself.
Click to expand...

Right I have rededicated myself to celibacy not for religious reasons but because sex complicates my life. I have decided to only have sex if I'm in a committed relationship. I refuse to let some man use me for a nut, I can give myself one of those. :look: It's a hard rode SK, I haven't even been celibate a month yet, but think about how you will feel if you do have sex, will you still fill used? Will having sex improve your situation? If it's just a random hook up or with a man unworthy, then nope, you are only going to complicate things more. Just stay strong.
 
I'm in a committed relationship were we've decided to abstain from sex. Our reasoning isn't just due to our faith, although that is a part of it. We both believe that our relaionship is stronger because we don't have sex. It's not easy at all since we are both sensual by nature but we limit how much time we spend alone where something could happen.

If you're in a relationship, I think it's crucial that you're both on the same page about abstaining. If it was solely my idea, I probably would have folded by now. We keep each other strong. If you're deciding to practice celibacy, you have to decide why you're doing it and believe in your conviction. I believe that we create ties with people who we have sex and I no longer want to create those ties with someone who is not my husband. Sex shouldn't bring me closer to someone I'm not going to be bound to for life and I don't need to have sex to show my SO how much I love him or how much I desire him. He already knows. He knows when I take care of him when he's sick, when I touch his arm or hold his hand or just smile at him how I feel about him.
 
Northern_Belle said:
I'm in a committed relationship were we've decided to abstain from sex. Our reasoning isn't just due to our faith, although that is a part of it. We both believe that our relaionship is stronger because we don't have sex. It's not easy at all since we are both sensual by nature but we limit how much time we spend alone where something could happen.

If you're in a relationship, I think it's crucial that you're both on the same page about abstaining. If it was solely my idea, I probably would have folded by now. We keep each other strong. If you're deciding to practice celibacy, you have to decide why you're doing it and believe in your conviction. I believe that we create ties with people who we have sex and I no longer want to create those ties with someone who is not my husband. Sex shouldn't bring me closer to someone I'm not going to be bound to for life and I don't need to have sex to show my SO how much I love him or how much I desire him. He already knows. He knows when I take care of him when he's sick, when I touch his arm or hold his hand or just smile at him how I feel about him.
Click to expand...

Exactly, I'm tired of creating those bonds with a man who is not my husband, simply because it hurts when they sever.
 
TCatt86 said:
I have decided to only have sex if I'm in a committed relationship. I refuse to let some man use me for a nut, I can give myself one of those. :look:
Click to expand...

Ditto! For me, I'm too afraid of getting pregnant or catching an STD. I'd rather wait on a monogonous relationship with someone I know is CLEAN!
 
I choose to be celibate because I choose not to have sex simply for the sake of having sex. This is what separates us from the monkeys :lachen:. For good or for bad, sex alters the nature of a relationship and it brings fleeting moments of self- examination on the most intimate level. Sex makes women vulnerable to men on many levels. I choose not to have my vulnerabilities exposed to just some dude who in not invested in me.
 
SimpleKomplexity said:
I feel so bad lately. I've been celibate for over 4 months, but I don't think my will is strong as I would like because I didn't commit to celibacy because of God. I didn't stop having sex because God wants me to, or I want to get closer to God. I did so because I was tired of feeling empty and used.

I go back n forth from time to time and think that I should call it quits with the celibacy thing for whatever reason, but I think it would be different if I were doing it for God and myself and I would have more commitment. What were your reasons to remain celibate?
Click to expand...

4 months..Ha!! Wait until you are almost 4 years..Girl..that aint nothing. Keep yourself busy and wait for the one who is 100%...your stuff is golden, value it.
 
1 - scared of diseases
2 - don't wish to invest that much into someone who won't invest equally in me
3 - don't like anyone that much right now
4 - all the men I know are from work and um, naaah
 
Mimi22 said:
Cuz if he doesnt wanna be my Husband, then I'm not letting him touch me!
is that harsh? then GOOD! :lachen:
Click to expand...

Good answer!:yep:

Bunny77 said:
You don't have to commit to celibacy because of God... there are non-religious folks practicing celibacy too... I also don't think that one's reason for celibacy makes it more likely that they'll stick with it or not... it depends on the person.

I guess you have to ask yourself... if you give up celibacy, how will that improve your life and your feelings about yourself after sex with someone?
Click to expand...

Exactly. Don't go back to that empty used feeling it's not worth it!:nono:

Ramya said:
I'm celibate because I'm a Christian. That's the only reasoning I need but that's because I have resolve in my decision.

If you are tired of being used then why would you stop being celibate? Really think about why you're doing it and stay true to what you want for yourself.
Click to expand...

Yep:yep:

Duchesse said:
Firstly, for spiritual reasons. I made a vow to God that the next man I have sex with will be my husband, no questions. I now understand the deeper reasoning behind "no sex till marriage". It makes sense to me.

Also, I have a history of rushing into physical relations without building a bond with the person. After the initial rush faded, I was left feeling used and empty. I'm no longer going to willingly add emotional baggage to my life.
Click to expand...

Agreed upon.:yep:
 
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