Wanting to be married but not knowing the "status" of the person.

[alexstin]

I want to know how people today deal with this. DH and I were together prior to salvation so this wasn't an issue for me if you know what I mean.

For celebate people, would you ask the person you believe is your mate to take an STD test(s)? When would you do it, meaning at what stage of the relationship. I'm just wondering how all this works.

As a pastor, I would definitely bring it up to all parties involved-of course being careful to not be condemning or condescending. I just think it's important.

Thanks!

 

[PaperClip]

In my humble opinion, this is a very simple question because of the signidicance of physical contact. I think such content would be discussed when the relationship climate gets to the point that physical contact that exchanges bodily fluids (e.g., kissing) is desired by both parties. So you just simply ask:

When was your most recent STD test?
What were you tested for?
What were the results?

And any question that one asks, one should also be expected to answer as well. And then both should go get tested together before marriage.

 

[alexstin]

In my humble opinion, this is a very simple question because of the signidicance of physical contact. I think such content would be discussed when the relationship climate gets to the point that physical contact that exchanges bodily fluids (e.g., kissing) is desired by both parties. So you just simply ask:

When was your most recent STD test?
What were you tested for?
What were the results?

And any question that one asks, one should also be expected to answer as well. And then both should go get tested together before marriage.

I guess we're coming from 2 different perspectives as alot of people choose not to kiss or have intimate contact before marriage. In your example, it would be a lot easier to figure out when to talk about it though.

 

[PaperClip]

I guess we're coming from 2 different perspectives as alot of people choose not to kiss or have intimate contact before marriage. In your example, it would be a lot easier to figure out when to talk about it though.

Yes... a couple can have the desire to kiss and so on and consciously "choose not to" (which is optimal and most expedient). And that would be the opportune time--before emotions and flesh get really heated--to have a sober conversation about intimate contact, sexual histories, etc., including physical/sexual health status.

 

[Shimmie]

It's interesting, but in the course of most of my converstations with both male and females, just socializing, this subject always comes up. It just does...naturally.

It ususally comes up because we are talking about 'current events' and the 'mess' that's going on in the world. So far everyone that I've spoken to about this is 'clean'....

My girl friends and I have a little note we write on the back of our envelopes when we give cards, etc. "DNA Free". It means we didn't lick the envelope. My point in sharing this is that we keep the issue of STD's, AIDS, etc, as an open topic and we just talk about it freely.