VENT - Why is everyone so butt hurt about this black man issue?

[PanamasOwn]

I haven't followed the OP but sometimes the people on this board look to deep into everything. Sometimes a preference is just a preference and it's really frustrating and annoying when people who do not know you try to put on you why you do or do not like something. They just automatically assume there must be some internal emotional/psychological defect in a person if they do not feel the same way about something they do. The could be right - but they shouldn't assume they know all when they don't.

Too many psychologists on this board and next to none of them have a license to practice.

And yes, I know this board is for everyone to provide their opinions and thoughts and feelings and that we all paid our 5 dollars (some paid 10 or 15 or 20 dollars).


But, sometimes it's way less stress for the person sharing and for the person replying to just try not to read into a situation more than what there is.

I almost fell out my chair at work laughing..... This is too true sometimes

 

[PanamasOwn]

Wow, I totally agree with you. Some of us come out in swarms to big up black men when some of them do little to big up black women. Girl, you and all the other women who date outside your race do you!!!! I thought I was destined to be married to a non black man but fate had me slip and fall on a black man so go figure. Blessings to you and whoever anyone decides to date.
You can't please everybody!!

You know this is very true. I was having a conversation with a group of my male friends (all black) and they straight up told me that the reason they are tired of dating black women, is because

1) They don't know when to shut up
2) They are way too demanding
3) They always like to talk about what they "ain't gonna do"
4) They are always telling a man what HE should be doing
5) She is not always supportive, but expects to supported

I was WOW..... Then they showed me a statistic online, 51% of black women are single... SO...yea... before you get to "uping" the brothers, find out if they are returning the favor..

ETA: This wasnt the first time I have heard this from a black's mans mouth about other black women....

 

[esoterica]

belleama, didn't you know that all black women must be interested in finding a black man? come on now, it's the law! oh, and not just any black man. he's gotta be dark "chocolate".

 

[WhipEffectz1]

You know this is very true. I was having a conversation with a group of my male friends (all black) and they straight up told me that the reason they are tired of dating black women, is because

1) They don't know when to shut up
2) They are way too demanding
3) They always like to talk about what they "ain't gonna do"
4) They are always telling a man what HE should be doing
5) She is not always supportive, but expects to supported

I was WOW..... Then they showed me a statistic online, 51% of black women are single... SO...yea... before you get to "uping" the brothers, find out if they are returning the favor..

ETA: This wasnt the first time I have heard this from a black's mans mouth about other black women....

They forget all about statistics and Raspoocha down the street! I also think it be all the single ones doing all the defending so go figure!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

belleama, didn't you know that all black women must be interested in finding a black man? come on now, it's the law! oh, and not just any black man. he's gotta be dark "chocolate".

I'm starting to realize this.

 

[PanamasOwn]

They forget all about statistics and Raspoocha down the street! I also think it be all the single ones doing all the defending so go figure!

 

[Lebiya]

You know this is very true. I was having a conversation with a group of my male friends (all black) and they straight up told me that the reason they are tired of dating black women, is because

1) They don't know when to shut up
2) They are way too demanding
3) They always like to talk about what they "ain't gonna do"
4) They are always telling a man what HE should be doing
5) She is not always supportive, but expects to supported

I was WOW..... Then they showed me a statistic online, 51% of black women are single... SO...yea... before you get to "uping" the brothers, find out if they are returning the favor..

ETA: This wasnt the first time I have heard this from a black's mans mouth about other black women....

I’ve definitely heard more than I cared to from black men as to why ‘black aint right’ numerous times -like I care- some will even offer information that wasn’t requested to ALL willing to listen. And why these fools feel the need to discuss this on lunch breaks with me, even though I’ll make it known I JUSSST don’t care, is beyond me.

Then come to find out, some of these insects are married too or are dating black women themselves, some whom they reproduced with- some with dark skin that they HATE. My first thought is, I wonder if their partners know?

Ladies, defend your black king, but make sure your king will defend your honour as well. I’ve heard it too many times to assume loyalty

 

[MzLady78]

Hello!
IMHO, it seems kind of one sided. Most folks have stated that they don't give a rip who you date, it's when you shun your own race totally or talk down about them, make generalizations etc, that they give you the . But if you are equal opportunity or at least UNDERSTAND that men of ALL races have issues and hang ups, it all good because that is how it really is. The men of one race do not have a monopoly on the positive onr negative.

I said the same thing in the "anyone prefer not to date BM" thread.

If you have issues with BM and don't wanna date em, cool. Lord knows they're working my last damn nerve right about now.

But don't sit there and like everything is all good on the other side of the fence either, cause they have their shyt too. But of course we're gonna notice the problems within our community more.

We shouldn't blindly defend BM, if a dude is trifling, he's trifling- period. But damn, let's not act like the "other's" shyt don't stink either. That's my problem with this whole issue.

 

[Connie]

I said the same thing in the "anyone prefer not to date BM" thread.

If you have issues with BM and don't wanna date em, cool. Lord knows they're working my last damn nerve right about now.

But don't sit there and like everything is all good on the other side of the fence either, cause they have their shyt too. But of course we're gonna notice the problems within our community more.

We shouldn't blindly defend BM, if a dude is trifling, he's trifling- period. But damn, let's not act like the "other's" shyt don't stink either. That's my problem with this whole issue.

Truth be told, the "others" shyt can potentially stink a whole lot worse; they just know how to hide it under a polished exterior. Just ask former Governor Spitzer.

I admit that I cringe a bit when I hear black women say that they're dating outside the race because of being treated badly by black men because while I'm all for not limiting your dating options, it does make me wonder if they could be objective if they met a black man who didn't mistreat them; or if they'd be so jaded by black men that they could no longer recognize a good one even if he wore a neon sign.

 

[PinkPeony]

I've always tried to run from this but its clear to all who know me that prefer a man of a lighter hue, not to yella though, more like ol boy off Stomp the Yard or Chris Brown!!!!

I'm mad that you're talking about your exact shade of prefered yellaness
Gotta lubs my whipzy

 

[PinkPeony]

I said the same thing in the "anyone prefer not to date BM" thread.

If you have issues with BM and don't wanna date em, cool. Lord knows they're working my last damn nerve right about now.

But don't sit there and like everything is all good on the other side of the fence either, cause they have their shyt too. But of course we're gonna notice the problems within our community more.

We shouldn't blindly defend BM, if a dude is trifling, he's trifling- period. But damn, let's not act like the "other's" shyt don't stink either. That's my problem with this whole issue.

ITA with you and I won't go into the rest of it b/c I don't want anybody to think I'm bashing white ppl again

 

[tylertown]

I’ve definitely heard more than I cared to from black men as to why ‘black aint right’ numerous times -like I care- some will even offer information that wasn’t requested to ALL willing to listen. And why these fools feel the need to discuss this on lunch breaks with me, even though I’ll make it known I JUSSST don’t care, is beyond me.

Then come to find out, some of these insects are married too or are dating black women themselves, some whom they reproduced with- some with dark skin that they HATE. My first thought is, I wonder if their partners know?

Ladies, defend your black king, but make sure your king will defend your honour as well. I’ve heard it too many times to assume loyalty

funny

 

[cocoberry10]

There's a thread like that seriously? WTF? erplexed

No, I started a thread asking if there were members on this board that preferred NOT to date Black men. There were quite a few ladies that admitted to not dating Black men, or mostly dating outside the race. Some acknowledged that they physically preferred other races of men. Some said they had several bad experiences and were turned off. Many others said they were equal opportunity daters. The thread got a little heated. It's about 50+ pages. Here's the link!

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=211227

 

[MzLady78]

No, I started a thread asking if there were members on this board that preferred NOT to date Black men. There were quite a few ladies that admitted to not dating Black men, or mostly dating outside the race. Some acknowledged that they physically preferred other races of men. Some said they had several bad experiences and were turned off. Many others said they were equal opportunity daters. The thread got a little heated. It's about 50+ pages. Here's the link!

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=211227

Well, it's still open so that's impressive.

 

[Valerie]

I mean seriously. I do not understand all the hostility towards those of us who are not fighting you for "the few good black men" you all claim are left.

If there really are so few good black men left and there are so many good black women left wouldn't it be in your (those of you who want one) best interests to have fewer women after these men?

I have nothing against black men. For goodness sakes my father, brothers, uncles and some of my best male friends are black. Should I be fortunate enough to bear a son he too will be black. I am just not sexually attracted to black men at all. I am married right now but should things turn sour I still wouldn't become sexually attracted to them.

I really have no idea why this bothers some of you so much. That's like me getting mad at you because you like mint chocolate chip ice cream and I like pralens and cream. In any other competition ya'll would be screaming, "More for me!"

[/vent]

Interesting thread, I have always wondered where these statistics come from that there is not enough good black men? I think that there is plenty men to go around, black, white, asian or whatever nationality race you want. I strongly believe that there is a scare method to make black women feel bad about themselves. Black men and other non-black men are all over the place. There is too much energy given to useless men, if women decided not to take on multiple baby daddies, men who live with their mothers etc and they were rejected, for better men. Many of the bad ones would clean up their act, because they would not be getting wives, no-one or stick to the low lives like themselves. Some women like to manipulate men and they would still loose, getting a baby or giving him sex would not make him, marry you or be committed to you. The world is an abundant place and full of men, and good black men, contrary to what the media say, the world will never run out of them, basically the world is full of good, decent, wonderful, faithfull, hard working and loving men of any race and colour, however the media likes to print lies to sell more rubbish and mess up lives.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

You know this is very true. I was having a conversation with a group of my male friends (all black) and they straight up told me that the reason they are tired of dating black women, is because

1) They don't know when to shut up
2) They are way too demanding
3) They always like to talk about what they "ain't gonna do"
4) They are always telling a man what HE should be doing
5) She is not always supportive, but expects to supported

I was WOW..... Then they showed me a statistic online, 51% of black women are single... SO...yea... before you get to "uping" the brothers, find out if they are returning the favor..

ETA: This wasnt the first time I have heard this from a black's mans mouth about other black women....

see this is what tires me people who make generalisations they must have a lot of time on their hands to log on and take statistics on the black women who are single and formulate a theory on why they do not want to date black women...i mean get over it already its getting tired pple shud really stop listenign to the men who give them such lists..cause these are the men u have no business dating anyway (i mean think about it for a minute) i have no problems with pple who date outside or within our race what does it have to do with me..i mean really? at the end of the day we log off n get on with our lives

having read and participated in the other thread i only realised pple defending bm when other ladies made genralisations bout all black men ppe shud realize they are sensitive to what they are connected when a black men commits a crime u tend to notice etc i dont go defending any black man i defend the good men regardless of colour cause having a good man is important to me but i will not lie and say i dnt prefer black men, i do but i have dated outsdie my race...because good men are still more important to me

 

[cocoberry10]

Whoa sweetie... If you are comfortable with your decision and your lack of sexula interest in black man then why does it bother you so much that some women on a board does not agree with? I am from the school of I Love black men and it does not bother me one bit when some women decided to belittle black men. It's your perogative to sleep with whomever you like. Trust me, to fact that some women aren't into black men is better for b/c that means there are less women for me to compete with. I suggest that you take PH's advice, it's not always what you say, it is how you said. IMO starting a thread venting about how the opinions of others bother you and how you as a black woman have never been sexaully actracted sets off a light in my head....Then again, you are free to "drop your panties" for any non-black man that you wish. That's just more chocolate for me......

And me too Oh, I don't discriminate either. I like chocolate, mocha, caramel, butterscotch, honey and many other flavors

 

[Valerie]

To all the ladies out there whatever your preference, as long as you have a good man, who is your husband, SO and he is committed to you, he is loyal, does not cheat on you, he loves honours you and he wants to give you sushi every night, especially that he is a good sushi eater and he is fine. Say your prayers and thank heaven for him.

 

[cocoberry10]

I think I've posted snipets here and there but nothing really indept. I've been thinking about this for a few days due to other issues not related to this board. Anyway, here are my reasons or atleast this is what I think the answers are.

I've never really saw a black man that made me all hot and bothered. No thigh sweats for me. Women show me pics of these really hot guys and I never think of them in terms of hotness they just look "pretty" to me, like art I guess. When I'm around a black guy I always feel like I'm "one of the guys." There is never any sexual tension, atleast not on my part. It always feels weird when one (one of the "good ones") tries to get with me me because I always see black guys as just friends or like brothers and I can't really go there. In another thread it was mentioned that they are really forward and forceful. I guess I just don't like that at all.

I guess that's it. I just can't be with someone who I think of as a family member. I know it sounds all kindof weird for me to think of all black men that way but I do. erplexed

As long as you are not hurting anybody (including yourself) and you know you're happy with yourself as a person and that, if you believe in God, you are also pleasing Him with your words and actions, then don't worry for one second about everyone else's opinions of your opinions.

Not everyone will understand the meditations of your heart but as long as they are acceptable to God and yourself, it doesn't really matter what me or anyone else thinks.

I agree with Adequate. Belleama it does seem like from your post above, your preference for non-Black men is physical. I think that if you aren't attracted to BM, then at least you are being honest about that. I think there are a lot of BM and BW out there who feel like you, but they are too afraid of the backlash to say so. I feel really lucky, b/c I find all kinds of guys attractive.

For example:

Boys turn.....

Darren Sharper

Will Lemay

Clint Mauro

Tyson Beckford

Ramon Rodriguez

Ryan Gentles

Ryan Gosling

Antonio Sabato Jr.

 

[cocoberry10]

Girl, you can't worry about some folks.

Same folks who are upset that you don't date black men are the same ones who will be up in the Entertainment Forum swooning over a black woman whose features are the product of a similar union. But a woman with some STRONG black/african feautures...like Alek Wek, gets little to no love. Le Sigh

 

[cocoberry10]

Hello!
IMHO, it seems kind of one sided. Most folks have stated that they don't give a rip who you date, it's when you shun your own race totally or talk down about them, make generalizations etc, that they give you the . But if you are equal opportunity or at least UNDERSTAND that men of ALL races have issues and hang ups, it all good because that is how it really is. The men of one race do not have a monopoly on the positive onr negative.

The whole post is on point, especially the bolded

 

[PanamasOwn]

see this is what tires me people who make generalisations they must have a lot of time on their hands to log on and take statistics on the black women who are single and formulate a theory on why they do not want to date black women...i mean get over it already its getting tired pple shud really stop listenign to the men who give them such lists..cause these are the men u have no business dating anyway (i mean think about it for a minute) i have no problems with pple who date outside or within our race what does it have to do with me..i mean really? at the end of the day we log off n get on with our lives

having read and participated in the other thread i only realised pple defending bm when other ladies made genralisations bout all black men ppe shud realize they are sensitive to what they are connected when a black men commits a crime u tend to notice etc i dont go defending any black man i defend the good men regardless of colour cause having a good man is important to me but i will not lie and say i dnt prefer black men, i do but i have dated outsdie my race...because good men are still more important to me

1) I date a black guy and am perfectly happy
2) Its not my fault they think this way
3) Everybody has a right to their opinion and it was relevant to this thread
and
4) if you are tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, maybe there is some truth to it...

But maybe since I half hispanic, my opinion doesn't really matter...

 

[Spongie Bloom]

1) I date a black guy and am perfectly happy
2) Its not my fault they think this way
3) Everybody has a right to their opinion and it was relevant to this thread
and
4) if you are tired of hearing the same thing over and over again, maybe there is some truth to it...

But maybe since I half hispanic, my opinion doesn't really matter...

why are you taking what i said so personally? i had no idea of your racial make up and personal life and neither do i care (no offense)

what i was saying is these men who make lists on why they dont date bw are not worthy of defending period and women in general should not give them the time of day as for it having some truth to it..do you mean in my personal life? no ive never had a bm or any other man for that matter list reasons to why they dont date or like black women cause i dont hang around negative people who think that way, ive heard it mostly on this board and other boards as there are 50 11 threads about what black men think of black women and so on which are not a true representation of a good black man.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Well chile, atleast I know you won't be coming after my man...I'm straight with your decision.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

see this is what tires me people who make generalisations they must have a lot of time on their hands to log on and take statistics on the black women who are single and formulate a theory on why they do not want to date black women...i mean get over it already its getting tired pple shud really stop listenign to the men who give them such lists..cause these are the men u have no business dating anyway (i mean think about it for a minute) i have no problems with pple who date outside or within our race what does it have to do with me..i mean really? at the end of the day we log off n get on with our lives

having read and participated in the other thread i only realised pple defending bm when other ladies made genralisations bout all black men ppe shud realize they are sensitive to what they are connected when a black men commits a crime u tend to notice etc i dont go defending any black man i defend the good men regardless of colour cause having a good man is important to me but i will not lie and say i dnt prefer black men, i do but i have dated outsdie my race...because good men are still more important to me

How about those guys either show no picture, or the picture you see of them is only of their face? And then, their faces are average, and you just know for a fact that they are 5'3. These "lists" have to stop. The black men who are involved in this nonsense are really making all black men look this way..which is not the case. l


But does anyone know when/where the whole "anti-black-woman" sentiment began? When did these trolls start their little "clubs"?