Farida
Well-Known Member
I must say the movie The Devil's Advocate has way too much nudity and sex, but it is one of my favorite of all time. This is because of the devil saying, "Vanity has always been my favorite sin." The first time I saw it I remember staying up all night wondering what sin I keep getting snagged in that the devil would look at me and say "____ has always been my fave sin when it comes to this here human" I figured out what mine was/is, but I'm not ready to share it in public yet. 
I was talking to my friend the other night and I recognized that we Christians fall prey to vanity of a whole other level, and we often gloss over it or label it so that we don't see it for what it is. My friend Sera has always been misunderstood. Even by me. I went to religious schools all through life, and always wondered what she was doing there. She was one of those girls who always wore her uniform too short, so she could tease the boys, and rumor had it that she was sleeping around with everyone and his daddy. She'd admitted it to me that she wasn't a virgin, but not the nature of her sexual activity or lack of theorof.
I enjoyed talking to her and she was a really sweet girl, very pretty, but I couldn't help thinking she was a ho. I would look at her and thank God that I wasn't like her, that I was "pure" and good, not dirty like her. I remember my 6th grade teacher telling us "Imagine going to a shop to buy bottle coke, and then on the shelf, you find one coke that has a broken seal, but all the soda is still in it, one that is perfectly sealed and full, and one that not only has a broken seal, but someone has drank out of it already" Then she went on to explain that women who weren't virgins were like the broken coke, virgins were the full coke and girls who were "technically" virgins, were the broken seal but full coke. I remember thinking to myself, I'm so lucky I'm worth more, and that mentality stuck with me.
Every girl I talked to that wasn't a virgin I looked down on her. Even though I kept telling myself that "I just know what's important," or "She made a mistake but she's great." Deep down I felt like I was better than she. I realized I had turned the issue of virginity into a matter of how great I was rather than a matter of honoring God.
I realized that every time someone came to school to talk to us about premarital sex, the person just hammered the notion of how valuable virginity makes you, rather than the idea that virginity is a choice that spares you a lot of heartache, and honors God. They would always throw in the one-liner about secondary virginity and then go on to exemplify the virgin as if she were Mary in the Catholic church.
So back to talking to Sera. She made mistakes in like the 6th grade. She didn't feel like fixing her mistakes because in her words, "I am already damaged goods. I'm the half-drank, or in my case, almost empty coke." She said she feels she has nothing of value to offer a man, so why bother? She gets judged by Christians everywhere. She feels like she cannot redeem herself, because even if God forgives her, she cannot restore her virginity. She will never be a whole person again. I was so pained talking to her
, knowng I was partly responsible for her pain. I tried to comfort her, but didn't really know what to say. I realised that sexual immorality is always elevated to being such a horrible sin. Especially that of gay people, yet the bible says we are all as bad in the eyes of the Lord. Everytime, she tried to talk to someone about it, they'd say, 'Girl, God forgives you. I am so glad I am still a virgin, I will have something special to give my husband. This is why Im glad I didn't make that mistake.' How does this make someone feel better, rubbing it in her face?
I told her that her heart is in the right place, because she feels bad, it means the conscience is still there. I told her (no offence to anyone), but a piece of skin doesn't make anyone in anymore special, valuable and loveable than she, and that she has way more to offer a man than sex. That if a man would not see past her past mistakes, then that was his fault, not hers.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in the importance of purity and all, but I think we need to revisit how we are stressing this message out there.
I was talking to my friend the other night and I recognized that we Christians fall prey to vanity of a whole other level, and we often gloss over it or label it so that we don't see it for what it is. My friend Sera has always been misunderstood. Even by me. I went to religious schools all through life, and always wondered what she was doing there. She was one of those girls who always wore her uniform too short, so she could tease the boys, and rumor had it that she was sleeping around with everyone and his daddy. She'd admitted it to me that she wasn't a virgin, but not the nature of her sexual activity or lack of theorof.
I enjoyed talking to her and she was a really sweet girl, very pretty, but I couldn't help thinking she was a ho. I would look at her and thank God that I wasn't like her, that I was "pure" and good, not dirty like her. I remember my 6th grade teacher telling us "Imagine going to a shop to buy bottle coke, and then on the shelf, you find one coke that has a broken seal, but all the soda is still in it, one that is perfectly sealed and full, and one that not only has a broken seal, but someone has drank out of it already" Then she went on to explain that women who weren't virgins were like the broken coke, virgins were the full coke and girls who were "technically" virgins, were the broken seal but full coke. I remember thinking to myself, I'm so lucky I'm worth more, and that mentality stuck with me.
Every girl I talked to that wasn't a virgin I looked down on her. Even though I kept telling myself that "I just know what's important," or "She made a mistake but she's great." Deep down I felt like I was better than she. I realized I had turned the issue of virginity into a matter of how great I was rather than a matter of honoring God.
I realized that every time someone came to school to talk to us about premarital sex, the person just hammered the notion of how valuable virginity makes you, rather than the idea that virginity is a choice that spares you a lot of heartache, and honors God. They would always throw in the one-liner about secondary virginity and then go on to exemplify the virgin as if she were Mary in the Catholic church.
So back to talking to Sera. She made mistakes in like the 6th grade. She didn't feel like fixing her mistakes because in her words, "I am already damaged goods. I'm the half-drank, or in my case, almost empty coke." She said she feels she has nothing of value to offer a man, so why bother? She gets judged by Christians everywhere. She feels like she cannot redeem herself, because even if God forgives her, she cannot restore her virginity. She will never be a whole person again. I was so pained talking to her
, knowng I was partly responsible for her pain. I tried to comfort her, but didn't really know what to say. I realised that sexual immorality is always elevated to being such a horrible sin. Especially that of gay people, yet the bible says we are all as bad in the eyes of the Lord. Everytime, she tried to talk to someone about it, they'd say, 'Girl, God forgives you. I am so glad I am still a virgin, I will have something special to give my husband. This is why Im glad I didn't make that mistake.' How does this make someone feel better, rubbing it in her face?I told her that her heart is in the right place, because she feels bad, it means the conscience is still there. I told her (no offence to anyone), but a piece of skin doesn't make anyone in anymore special, valuable and loveable than she, and that she has way more to offer a man than sex. That if a man would not see past her past mistakes, then that was his fault, not hers.
Don't get me wrong, I believe in the importance of purity and all, but I think we need to revisit how we are stressing this message out there.
