Update - Dd doesn't like her new hairstyle

[eyunka]

So gues what? She likes it now. (Previous Thread) She is likes it so much she asked if she stop getting perms would her hair look like the 3/4 wig. I explained her natural hair coils are tighter than that of the wig. Because she is a 4b I told her, she would finally get that afro she wanted. Her face lit up. erplexed I'm not ready. I think its great she wants to go natural, I'm not ready for the transitional journey since I'm the one styling her hair 90% of the time. I believe transitioning requires more patience, time and gental care which dd has none of, why do you think I'm still do her hair at 15.

I explained her options of transitioning or a big chop...big chop . I also explained the best way for us to transition given our schedule and my knowledge is through braids and weaves which she gets tired of. Transitioning takes months. She still wants to do it. I need time to wrap my mind around if I'm willing to put in the effort. Some of you will disagree with me saying if she wants to go natural let her, I should put forth the effort its what she wants, its better for her. I hear you on that but in the end if my heart is not in I don't want my lack of motivation to damage her hair. Its March so I think I will do individuals until the end of the school year and see where her thoughts are and go from there.

 

[Nonie]

@eyunka...you can do it. I was reading the thread of "you know you're not ready to be a mom if..." and I applaud you for how far you've come. If you have survived being "responsible for her" this long, even when she couldn't do a single thing herself and you still fitted your whole life into a day, then you can do it. Pretend it's a new surprise baby you just had on top of all you have on your plate now That should make taking care of her hair not seem so hard, right?

It's wonderful that she's excited about her afro. Tell her she's got company coz I do love afros too. And I'm excited for her coz once she finds out all the things she can do with 4B hair (including making it look like that phony: by doing a braidout on straightened hair ) she will be even more thrilled with her hair. But don't tell her that. The discovery is much more fun.

I think you two will work something out. You've made it this far, and you've guided her well...so hopefully you'll both come to an agreement that encourages you and that she's happy with, as she trusts your guidance since you haven't led her wrong thus far. You can use the "big hair she didn't care for initially" example as a reminder that you do know what you're talking about and assure her that if she trusts you, she will come to see the sense in your suggestions. So I encourage you to help her see her dream. Might be a sacrifice but you've made many and you're still standing. Do it! Do it! Do it!

 

[alive]

i remember the original thread that's great news! i'm glad she came around.

i think you should let her transition on her own. i know you mentioned that she's not patient enough to do it but this will be a great challenge/learning experience for her to take on. i'm sure she'll be able to handle it and she'll feel proud of herself when she's done.

 

[eyunka]

Nonie

Thank you, your post was sweet and inspiring.

@eyunka...you can do it. I was reading the thread of "you know you're not ready to be a mom if..." and I applaud you for how far you've come. If you have survived being "responsible for her" this long, even when she couldn't do ish my herself and you still fitted your whole life into a day, then you can do it. Pretend it's a new surprise baby youjust had on top of all you do now That should make taking care of her hair not seem so hard, right?

It's wonderful that she's excited about her afro. Tell her she's got company coz I do love afros too. And I'm excited for her coz once she finds out all the things she can do with 4B hair (including making it look like that phony: by doing a braidout on straightened hair :yep) she will be even more thrilled with her hair. But don't tell her that. The discovery is much more fun.

I think you two will work something out. You've made it this far, and you've guided her well...so hopefully you'll both come to an agreement that encourages you and that she will trust your guidance. You can use the big hair she didn't care for as a reminder that you do know what you're talking about and if she trusts you, she will come to see the sense in your suggestions. But I encourage you to help her see her dream. Might be a sacrifice but you've made many and you're still standing. Do it! Do it! Do it!

 

[eyunka]

I wish I felt like the bolded but when i have mornings like this... "mom I don't know what to do with can you fix it" really worries me. I know I need to loosen up a bit. I worry she will do more damage to it. I am open minded and we will work slowly to her goal. Sometimes she can flip flop on me.

i remember the original thread that's great news! i'm glad she came around.

i think you should let her transition on her own. i know you mentioned that she's not patient enough to do it but this will be a great challenge/learning experience for her to take on. i'm sure she'll be able to handle it and she'll feel proud of herself when she's done.