Uhhh...what to do?

[chocolatedoll18]

Hi ladies. I've been thinking about something for a while and im just becoming more confused, so i decided to come here.

Ok I've been broken up with my ex for about 2 mos but we still live together. well im going to be moving out within the next two weeks even though he and I are still cordial and get along...for the most part. He still wants to be with me but i just cant do it . Now i still love him and care about him but just want it to be over because its not working out.

Fast forward an old friend (more like an ex even though we werent together for long) just recently contacted me on fb and wants me to call him. I was initially indecisive about that because we have history and im not sure what he wants from me (I dont want to be with him), but i dont mind hanging out . I dont want to call him while still living with my ex because i feel like i will be disrespecting him and i dont want to hurt him.
Also im not sure if i should waste my time with the friend because i dont want to lead him on or have us eventually stop talking again because we want different things.

What do you ladies think?



ETA:Me and ex friend have never colored and havent spoken in about 4 years.

 

[NYAmicas]

You're fresh from a breakup and should let more time pass before hanging out with this friend and get yourself situated.

 

[ThickHair]

Chile please you know what he wants, don't go talking that jive up on LHCF. He is not calling you to ask about your hamster and ya momma and nem.

 

[Mai Tai]

I truly think that right now you should focus on completely cutting ties with your current ex before even thinking about talking to an old flame.

It sounds to me that you are still worried about hurting both of these men even though you aren't with either one of them. Stop tripping off of what they think and do what you have to do to get your life back on track.

 

[Makenzie]

Don't do it. You are in a vulnerable state right now. Take some time to focus on you and decide what you want in your next relationship.

 

[chocolatedoll18]

@ThickHair Yes you are probably right. I didnt add that he specifically said he wanted to try to see if we could start over and forget about the past. thats why i was apprehensive because im not sure what "start over" means.

@Mai Tai You're right but you know how it is when you feel like you've been broken up wayyy longer than you have. I just wanna go have fun again with new/semi new people.

Oh yea. i've always cared about other people's feelings and no matter how hard i tried some people were still hurt by my actions, so thats why i care about how they both feel. Also if we werent living together i wouldnt care as much.

 

[Ladybug33]

I agree with the other posters. Now is not a good time to entertain others.

 

[thecurlycamshow]

I think you should wrap up your current ex file and spend time with yourself. If you're questioning talking to your old flame it's probably not a good idea.

 

[Mai Tai]

@ThickHair Yes you are probably right. I didnt add that he specifically said he wanted to try to see if we could start over and forget about the past. thats why i was apprehensive because im not sure what "start over" means.

@Mai Tai You're right but you know how it is when you feel like you've been broken up wayyy longer than you have. I just wanna go have fun again with new/semi new people.

Oh yea. i've always cared about other people's feelings and no matter how hard i tried some people were still hurt by my actions, so thats why i care about how they both feel. Also if we werent living together i wouldnt care as much.

@chocolatedoll18 Believe me...I understand exactly what you are going through. When I broke up with my ex, I gave him 30 days to move out so we lived together for a month after I ended the relationship. My advice is coming from experience.

When I went though that, I still cared about his feelings (hence me giving him 30 days instead of just kicking him completely out on the street which is what I really wanted to do). I later realized that regardless of how much I cared, I cared about my feelings more. There was no way for me to end the situation without at least one person getting hurt so I chose ME.

I know breakups are never easy, and even after he moves out, you may still care, but I feel that for you to move on and embark on the exciting new journey in front of you, you need to let the past go. You need to choose YOU...

 

[TayMac]

If you don't want to be with that ex, I wouldn't even bother calling/accepting a call. It's been 4 years. Leave those old people behind. Take care of yourself and start fresh after you give it some time.

 

[chocolatedoll18]

Guess i got my answer thanks so much for the advice you all are totally right. I was just excited about being free for the first time in a long time.

Time for some me time!!

 

[hopeful]

Love it when LHCF is unanimous .

Answered and resolved in under two hours too.

 

[Bmack]

Chile please you know what he wants, don't go talking that jive up on LHCF. He is not calling you to ask about your hamster and ya momma and nem.

You know ur dead wrong right