UGHHHH VENT.....DH and my hair style!!!!.....(long)

[Avin'sMom2010]

UPDATE with PICS!!!!UGHHHH VENT.....DH and my hair style!!!!.....(long)

UPDATE: So this is what my husband was frowning about!!!!!erplexed take a look at my attachments please and tell me how you think it looks, be nice


Ok, I had not used direct heat since my big chop 2 years ago...so last night when I got off from work I flat ironed my hair my to see it's length, which is about an inch from apl, then I pincurled it to wear it our today and low and behold it's raining today but I still wore it out... anyhow...DH was at work, so when he got home I had already scarfed up for the night, I couldn't wait until today to show him my progress and my "new style", soooo I goes into the computer room where he is after I've undid my pin curls fluffed it out a bit I just know that it's LOOKING GOOD!! So I asked DH how does it look, he looks at me with this scrunched up look on his face and says it looks "TOO WILD" and that he does not like it at all, I was SHOCKED and EMBARRASSEDerplexed, although I should not be because this is the same man that thinks negative of just about anything!! So I storm out of the room MAD AS HE-ALL! he's like why you mad...dah da dah da dah...I left and went riding around, went to Barnes and Nobles now I am all self concious looking at my hair thinking maybe it doesn't look good, man I feel like crying sometimes it seems like it takes other men besides my DH to give me a compliment, he never does! So I'm driving around thinking like WHY is it sooo D%MN hard for some people to find something good to say to others even if he didn't like it WHY not just say something positive like it looks OK as long as you like it I like it...I was always taught to look on the bright side of everything, and if you don't have anything good to say then keep your trap shut!! I was soooo hoping that he would already be gone to work by the time that I came back home but he was STILL here! he was coming out the door when I was going in and he's like you asked me if I liked it and I just told you the truth, I don't like it and it does not look good on you, I think that he is soooo use to seeing me in that phoney pony erplexed,I am really sad!!! I am actually crying now as I type!! Am I being over-emotional or too sensitive????, I was and am so proud of the growth from going from 1 inch to almost APL in 2 years, he didn't even compliment on the growth I just can't understand WHY he thinks that it's soooo horrid! it's parted it in the middle so the hair falls to each side, the front sits on my shoulders and the back is a couple of inches on my back, I wish I had a pic to show, but I am sure you get the idea what it looks like.....I have been practicing my LOA all week being joyful & happy NOW he has made me feel unappealing , unattractive and sad . I NEED A HUG!!

 

[january noir]

Oh Honey!... Don't Cry...

Humph! What do men know? NADA! Not a DAYUM thing.

Here's a hug from me and I know your hair is looking FIERCE!

(((((HUGS))))

Really....men know nothing...

 

[tiffers]

***HUGS*** Men can be such a-holes sometimes. I'm sure you look fabulous with all that hair blowin in the breeze I know you want your dh to notice, but some stupid men just don't pay attention to those kinds of things. Have you talked to him about it? I'm sure if he knows he made you cry, he'll lighten up a bit. Even if he didn't notice, I'm sure a lot of jealous women did Hope you feel better

 

[DSP]

I don't even know what to say without disrespecting your husband. You've achieved what so many here are working for so be proud of yourself.

 

[InnerSoul]

dont cry,


awwwwwwwww! some men can be inconsiderate sometimes.. He probably doesnt even think much of hair in terms like we do. We do alot of things to make our hair beautiful.. some men just don't understand is all. They just go to the barber for a cut and that's it.

Don't let it get you down. Next time your hair looks sexy... you just know that you got it going on...whether he agrees or not.

(((((HUGS))))))

 

[scorpian]

Don't cry....men are a pain they really have no clue how much time and energy we spend on our hair...My DH told me that I take better care of my dd's hair then I do my own. He thinks that hers looks and mine is so when it comes to my hair I just ignore him.....they'll never understand

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I'd love to see a picture. The ladies here would love to applaud you and your success.

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

***HUGS*** Men can be such a-holes sometimes. I'm sure you look fabulous with all that hair blowin in the breeze I know you want your dh to notice, but some stupid men just don't pay attention to those kinds of things. Have you talked to him about it? I'm sure if he knows he made you cry, he'll lighten up a bit. Even if he didn't notice, I'm sure a lot of jealous women did Hope you feel better

He called a minute ago, I was still crying he was like "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings I just did not like it, I wouldn't tell you not to wear it out or nothing" whateva!! When I went to the bank the chickenheads was staring when I was in line, LOL

 

[Miel]

I'm sure that it hurt and that you've put alot of time and effort and luv into you locks. Men can be very insensitive at times but honestly...I'd rather my hubby tell me how he really felt than to hymn and haw and tell me that he like it just because he thought that's what I wanted to hear. I am as sensitve as they come...I cry if someone looks at me funny...I get my "butt on my shoulders" when my thread don't get any replies so believer me I know how much your feelings are involved, he may not. Just tell him why you got so upset. He may not change his answer but he might change his tone. >>>>>HUGS<<<<<

 

[SNyeema]

(((((hugs)))))

I agree with the others. I know he's your husband and it means so much to us when we think that we look beautiful to them. From our fingernails to our hair styles. But the MOST important thing is that YOU LIKE IT. Don't cry. It'll be okay. Rock that style and blow him off. He'll get over it.

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

dont cry,


awwwwwwwww! some men can be inconsiderate sometimes.. He probably doesnt even think much of hair in terms like we do. We do alot of things to make our hair beautiful.. some men just don't understand is all. They just go to the barber for a cut and that's it.

Don't let it get you down. Next time your hair looks sexy... you just know that you got it going on...whether he agrees or not.

(((((HUGS))))))

Girl, he thinks about hair because he wants me to plait and braid his up about every week or too......and he's been growing his for about 4 years and mine has already passed his since I chopped 2 years ago, I told him to stop putting rubber bands on the end but he wont listen!! this is the same guy that told me when I cut my hair down to 1 inch that I looked like a boy, and that his hair was longer than mine, GO FIGURE!! , although he said it in a joking manner, but we know how that goes!! My mom said some men can be jealous of their own wives erplexed, how sad is that!!

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

I'd love to see a picture. The ladies here would love to applaud you and your success.

THANKS to all, what would I do without my haircare family??? I LOVE MY SISTERS here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BIG HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I had pics, but I still have not repurchased a camera since my last one went kaput!!

 

[january noir]

ALSO remember this....

You are probably looking SOOO good right now and he is afraid that you will look good to other men as well... Men have VERY fragile egos and many fears...

By telling you he doesn't like it, he'll hope you'll change it back to the way it was...and you tell him....

SORRY!​

 

[InnerSoul]

Girl, he thinks about hair because he wants me to plait and braid it up about every week or too......and he's been growing his for about 4 years and mine has already passed his since I chopped 2 years ago, I told him to stop putting rubber bands on the end but he wont listen!! this is the same guy that told me when I cut my hair down to 1 inch that I looked like a boy, and that his hair was longer than mine, GO FIGURE!! , although he said it in a joking manner, but we know how that goes!! My mom said some men can be jealous of their own wives erplexed, how sad is that!!

on point if that is what it is! Sad He just mad b/c your hair passed his up

 

[indigodiva]

((((HUGS))))

Girl if you know you look good, don't worry..men never know what looks good!

 

[Evolving78]

I don't think your husband was wrong for what he said. You asked his opinion and he gave it to you. You shouldn't set yourself up for stuff like that if you can't handle it. You were looking for a compliment and he told you how he really felt. Would it have been better if he didn't say anything at all? Then you might have gotten mad about that. Men can't win for anything. Women need to stop asking questions they can't handle the answers to. Now stop crying because despite what he thinks, you like it and that is really what matters the most. If his opinion is that important to you then maybe you need to change your hair back to what he likes. Girl don't trip off of that. Now give me a hug and be happy!

 

[gone_fishing]

I want to see it!

Can I see!?

 

[MJ]

Men can be

I'm sure your hair is :wow:

You've achieve my goal length -- near armpit length two years after BC

 

[gone_fishing]

I have to tell you. I usually press my hair. I wore my natural texture - air dried - no heat style a few weeks ago and he said my hair looked like crinkly fries. It hurt my feelings. But other people complimented it so I didn't care.

I shouldn't have but in retaliation I told him his butt was the color of soy milk and that he needed a tan.

I don't know why...I guess him being white...I kind of took that as a racial hit even though I know he's not like that. I felt stupid for saying that afterwards. I just couldn't think of anything else to say. So you're better than me cause I would have had to counter with something to make him feel like he was making me feel even though I know that's not the way. God help me. I'm still growing!

Well, he's been to the tanning bed 6 times in the last couple of weeks. So it looks like I'm not the only one with thin skin.

 

[envybeauty]

I have learned to note when MEN say they like something about me UNSOLICITED rather than for me to ask directly.


They just don't understand all that BLACK women go through! It is not as easy as showing up for a trim at a barber shop every two weeks and to do nothing in between. They have it easy. We miss a beat ...and it is a setback.

Don't let his thoughts intimidate your hairstyle! You are probably looking fierce...

 

[WomanlyCharm]

(((HUGS)))

You asked him the question, and he gave his opinion...I'm sorry it wasn't what you expected. But he could have at least have said something about the growth, geeze...MEN!

Girl, don't pay his silly opinion any mind, you know you look good!
Toss that hair! And wear it any way you want, you're the one that grew it!

 

[NYAmicas]

I'm sorry his reaction wasnt what you expected. I can all to well understand how that hurt you. You were feeling very confident and wanted the man in your life to understand that. Has anyone else complimented you or have other men been paying extra attention? It could be a bit of jealousy like someone suggested.

 

[tallygirl]

Girl, we've got lots of hugs and support here for you...Men can be such simple (ignorant) creatures...Your hair made great progress, so be proud of the work you've done with taking care of your hair.

 

[Mystic]

Next time don't ask him for any hair opinion. You mentioned that he is not one to give compliments so try not to expect any from him. Sorry to hear that your husband is not very supportive but look on the bright side, at least you know that about him. When you know some one, it's easier to protect yourself from being hurt. It's when you don't them and they disappoint that the pain is harder to deal with.

 

[Energee]

Next time don't ask him for any hair opinion. You mentioned that he is not one to give compliments so try not to expect any from him. Sorry to hear that your husband is not very supportive but look on the bright side, at least you know that about him. When you know some one, it's easier to protect yourself from being hurt. It's when you don't them and they disappoint that the pain is harder to deal with.

This is exactly what I thought when I read that her husband is negative about everything. Yep, you shouldn't ask. I'm sure this isn't the first time he's made such comments to you. He does sound negative in general but I don't want to be disrespectful because that is your husband. I also wanted to say that there are positive men and husbands out here--not all fall into the same category.

I bet you look beautiful and your husband is just jealous. That's what it sounds like.

 

[Avin'sMom2010]

THANKS GUYS ....for all your input, I used his camera to take some pics, take a look I updated the original post with pics!!

 

[Dayjoy]

Just looked at your pics--I am so jealous. That is where I hope to be around December (hopefully). I love that you took your photos with his camera. Your hair really does look very pretty. Be glad your husband is honest. My husband is so scurred of my sensitivity that I think sometimes I actually am looking half crazy but he can't tell me. He even told me that he especially avoids the topics of hair and weight.

 

[metro_qt]

I like it
yeah, it's wild, but it's growing and luscious.
Too bad he can't appreciate that.

 

[MochaSilk]

StephyPoo, I'm sorry your DH hurt your feelings... Some people would rather swallow glass than say something positive. My dad is one of them. He never learned how to be supportive. He's one of 11 children, and it was a cutthroat environment. He's sweet as pie, but I think he'd explode if he offered a word of encouragement or support. We just learned not to ask him anything. Nowadays, he tries to get offended when we don't ask his opinion. My answer to him is, "I want to keep smiling, so I'm not asking you."

OT, adequate? SOY MILK?!?!?!

 

[Luvmylife]

I shouldn't have but in retaliation I told him his butt was the color of soy milk and that he needed a tan.

Okay...I'mma need for you to stop saying stuff like that when I have a mouthful of liquid!!Y'all are ruining my poor laptop!

Back to the OP (((HUGS))) I am so sorry that DH hurt your feelings. Sometimes dudes just don't get it. To them "...it's just hair..." but to us it's so much more...I don't know if guys understand this. Sometimes they just say the first thing that comes to their mind without thinking...sometimes they need time to "get used" to a new hairstyle...who knows?

Try to shake it off and take pride in the fact that you got some amazing growth going on over there!Once he sees how fierce your mane is, he'll come around.