Ugh!!! Getting Over A Breakup. How Do You Deal?

[Tiffalicious]

Hi .

I've never started a thread before, but I don't have that many close friends right now and I guess I need some advice. My boyfriend and I have broken up tonight. It's fairly fresh so I'm guessing that's why it stings so much. I'm still pretty confused about the whole thing so there wasn't much closure to be had. I just know it's over and it makes no sense trying anymore in a one-sided relationship. I just can't stop thinking about it you know? Thats the worst part of breaking up I guess. I just don't want this to be like past breakups where it takes over my life and I fall into a funk. So what I'm really trying to ask is what can I do so that it hurts a little less? How can I take my mind off of it and make it better? I just want life to remain as normal as possible if that makes any sense...

 

[poookie]

aw man. hugs to you, tiffalicious. i've definitely been in your shoes.

the best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself. pick a hobby to perfect, work extra hard at school or work. stay BUSY so you don't find yourself with too much time to ponder your situation.

when my first love dumped me, i thought my world was over. i cried for 3 days, didn't eat anything for 4 days, & was beyond depressed. then on day 5, i picked up a part time job at the mall (i was on summer break freshman year of college). day 7, i picked up another part time job. i was so busy for that summer, that it was easy to keep my mind off of my hurt feelings.

one important thing to realize is that, depending on how the breakup happened, you may never get closure. so look at it like this. you're sad right now, but some people just aren't meant to be together. as you said, there's no sense trying to make a 1 sided relationship work. better to be without the dead weight & prep yourself for the love of your life who'll give you 100%, than to put up with someone who really doesn't care for you.

all the best, & also remember that time heals all wounds. it hurts now, but it'll hurt a little less tomorrow. & the day after. & there'll be a day, one day, where it won't hurt at all

 

[Tiffalicious]

aw man. hugs to you, tiffalicious. i've definitely been in your shoes.

the best thing you can do right now is focus on yourself. pick a hobby to perfect, work extra hard at school or work. stay BUSY so you don't find yourself with too much time to ponder your situation.

when my first love dumped me, i thought my world was over. i cried for 3 days, didn't eat anything for 4 days, & was beyond depressed. then on day 5, i picked up a part time job at the mall (i was on summer break freshman year of college). day 7, i picked up another part time job. i was so busy for that summer, that it was easy to keep my mind off of my hurt feelings.

one important thing to realize is that, depending on how the breakup happened, you may never get closure. so look at it like this. you're sad right now, but some people just aren't meant to be together. as you said, there's no sense trying to make a 1 sided relationship work. better to be without the dead weight & prep yourself for the love of your life who'll give you 100%, than to put up with someone who really doesn't care for you.

all the best, & also remember that time heals all wounds. it hurts now, but it'll hurt a little less tomorrow. & the day after. & there'll be a day, one day, where it won't hurt at all

Thanks. I really need to work on getting some things to do cuz I basically spent all of my time with him. We just seemed so perfect. I've already been there with the not eating and depressed for weeks thing this year. If I do it again I'll be see through and my family would have a fit lol. I'm just trying not to make things seem awkward because its a ridiculously small town and we share a lot of acquaintances. It's gonna be hard to keep it quiet.

I need to work extra hard on finding a new job....

 

[ChasingBliss]

(((((HUGS))))) to you....Poookie gave great advice.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Hey girlie....big hugs... I think we have all been there at least once maybe twice. It hurts but time (should) heal all wounds.

I would also suggest getting involved with groups of people like yourself that have you same interest. If you like to dance, take some classes. If you like to volunteer, find a shelter or community center that needs help. If you go to church, ministries are always looking for more help. Find things to do that you like, get involved, and meet new people.

Its a great way to begin to see life beyond this guy, develop your self-esteem and self-worth, possible meet someone that is worth your time, do something you like to do, and make new friends in the process.

 

[mscocoface]

In time it won't feel so bad. Pook's suggestions are great.

Take the focus off of what you no longer have and on to what you want in your life or how you want to better yourself.

 

[Tiffalicious]

Thank you ladies! I'm taking all of your advice.

 

[phynestone]

Please do not maintain any type of contact, if possible.

 

[locabouthair]

Please do not maintain any type of contact, if possible.

Yes PLEASE dont.

From experience, keeping contact with the ex, saying that you will just be friends right after the breakup just leaves you confused and hurt all over again. If I could go back in time...

 

[LovinLocks]

Hi Tiff,

I'm responding without having read through the thread; just giving that heads up. First off, here's a cyber . The real ones are sooooo beneficial.

My ordeal was approximately (at least) a year long. I mean from break-up to, "Dayum, who was he, his name?" I was given the choice of him or staying in the congregation and serving Jehovah God. I felt like my heart was ripped it right out of my chest.

I cried, prayed, and read scripture CONSTANTLY!! I had a girlfriend whom was loving enough to let me call her, vent and cry AT ANY TIME OF THE DAY. Lawd, what would I do without my girls!!!! AND,
I read Michelle McKinney Hammond's books. I must have ordered and read 8-10 books, I don't know, I couldn't stop between the Bible and Michelle.

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_2...e+mckinney+hammond+books&sprefix=michelle+mck

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted: Healing and Faith
http://www.amazon.com/What-Becomes-...ooks&qid=1259662042&sr=8-14#reader_0736905278

You know we're here for ya,
You hang in there, Chica,:heart2:

LL

 

[topsyturvy86]

Aww honey ... Poookie and the other ladies have given you good advice. Just keep busy, try n stay strong and positive, plus it's always good to have good friends around you now. I know what it's like detaching from someone you were so fond of and spent all your time with. It might take a little bit of time but you will heal and not even remember this pain anymore ... I promise you that . xx

 

[darlingdiva]

Please do not maintain any type of contact, if possible.

I couldn't agree more!!!!

Cut him off COMPLETELY!!!

((((((((HUGS))))))))