ArieArie
New Member
I have been lurking this forum for years, debating whether I wanted to begin growing out my hair or not. I finally made the decision to banish the scissors. It sounds silly but I have definitely been avoiding my hair. It's only been a couple of months but the process of growing out my hair has been extremely emotional. I just want to see if anybody has felt the same.
Last week I wrote my boyfriend a letter, trying to encompass why my hair has become something bigger than what it actually is. He has watched me do meticulous research, go on political rants, and have personal debates on a daily basis, all in regards to my hair. As a white guy raised in a white neighborhood, he is no where near closed-minded, but definitely confused. I believe sharing what I wrote to him will best describe how I am feeling. Here it goes, the abridged version:
"There's a lot of history behind African-Americans and their hair, from its origins in African cultures into generations of slavery in the Americas, the emancipation, and the present as African-Americans continue to integrate into society. There are a lot of strong societal and cultural pressures involved, and I have recognized how many have affected the way I view, appreciate, and struggle with my hair.
There is a movement among African American women to grow out, embrace the natural texture of their hair, and combat the general disapproval of society towards kinky hair. However, African hair, as beautiful as it is, can come with a great amount of upkeep, depending on an individual's texture. This is why I am returning to the use of sodium hydroxide products to loosen the curls, ultimately altering the texture of my hair. (Texturizer, but I had to give an explanation for my boyfriend). I say this with guilt. Although I probably won't like the length of my hair for a year or two, I love my natural texture; it is unique. Nonetheless, I love my slightly altered hair more. This makes me feel terrible. But why, why, why? I alter my body in all type of ways, and I am proud of them. So why can't I seem to be proud of altering my hair? Nonetheless, I idolize those who can maintain natural hair.
Hair is just such a touchy subject. My old roommate who is of European descent, asked for a picture of my progress after two months. Her response was "YOUR HAIR GROWS SO SLOW!" All in caps. Ugh. I wanted to give her a lecture on how it may seem that way because of how my hair grows more in volume than in length and that in technical terms, my hair has been growing slightly more than the expected rate, but I held my tongue, and daydreamed of the day I have more length. I fear others will comment that my hair seems to be growing slow.
In short, I am very affected by all the opinions around me. And I feel so silly for it!
This hair journey of mine is much more intense than I would like to admit to most people . I permanently straightened (relaxed) my virgin hair at 15, cut it all off immediately after and wore a barely-there afro, almost bald look for about 4 years. Only recently I have been letting it grow out and wearing it "free". Thus, I consider this my most intimate experience with my hair.
Thanks for being there for me. As time goes on, the intensity I have over dealing with my changing hairstyle with nullify."
But will it??? I must give my boyfriend credit; he is nothing but supportive and positive about my hair growth. If you have made this far down, thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. It was important for me to share this with ladies that may have had similar experiences.
Last week I wrote my boyfriend a letter, trying to encompass why my hair has become something bigger than what it actually is. He has watched me do meticulous research, go on political rants, and have personal debates on a daily basis, all in regards to my hair. As a white guy raised in a white neighborhood, he is no where near closed-minded, but definitely confused. I believe sharing what I wrote to him will best describe how I am feeling. Here it goes, the abridged version:
"There's a lot of history behind African-Americans and their hair, from its origins in African cultures into generations of slavery in the Americas, the emancipation, and the present as African-Americans continue to integrate into society. There are a lot of strong societal and cultural pressures involved, and I have recognized how many have affected the way I view, appreciate, and struggle with my hair.
There is a movement among African American women to grow out, embrace the natural texture of their hair, and combat the general disapproval of society towards kinky hair. However, African hair, as beautiful as it is, can come with a great amount of upkeep, depending on an individual's texture. This is why I am returning to the use of sodium hydroxide products to loosen the curls, ultimately altering the texture of my hair. (Texturizer, but I had to give an explanation for my boyfriend). I say this with guilt. Although I probably won't like the length of my hair for a year or two, I love my natural texture; it is unique. Nonetheless, I love my slightly altered hair more. This makes me feel terrible. But why, why, why? I alter my body in all type of ways, and I am proud of them. So why can't I seem to be proud of altering my hair? Nonetheless, I idolize those who can maintain natural hair.
Hair is just such a touchy subject. My old roommate who is of European descent, asked for a picture of my progress after two months. Her response was "YOUR HAIR GROWS SO SLOW!" All in caps. Ugh. I wanted to give her a lecture on how it may seem that way because of how my hair grows more in volume than in length and that in technical terms, my hair has been growing slightly more than the expected rate, but I held my tongue, and daydreamed of the day I have more length. I fear others will comment that my hair seems to be growing slow.
In short, I am very affected by all the opinions around me. And I feel so silly for it!
This hair journey of mine is much more intense than I would like to admit to most people . I permanently straightened (relaxed) my virgin hair at 15, cut it all off immediately after and wore a barely-there afro, almost bald look for about 4 years. Only recently I have been letting it grow out and wearing it "free". Thus, I consider this my most intimate experience with my hair.
Thanks for being there for me. As time goes on, the intensity I have over dealing with my changing hairstyle with nullify."
But will it??? I must give my boyfriend credit; he is nothing but supportive and positive about my hair growth. If you have made this far down, thank you for reading. I really appreciate it. It was important for me to share this with ladies that may have had similar experiences.
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Welcome to the forum girl! 
). 
But I plan to make it this time next year 
