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This just upsets me!

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soslychic

New Member
The other day I was talking to someone about natural hair and a few styles of natural hair that I really liked and she said, "You cannot tell me that anyone with really nappy hair wouldn't rather have a white girls hair. Anyone who says that they don't care is just in denial." I spent about 10 minutes trying to get her to see my point of view on the subject that there are so many naturals of all textures with hair that I adore, but she wouldn't listen. How do you explain to a person like that the need to love your own hair texture even if it's currenly not the one you prefer? Everyone has there own right to wear their hair how they please (my own is relaxed) but I would never describe the new growth as "gross" or "nasty and nappy" as she does.
 
I wouldn't waste my time trying to convince someone to love nappy hair if they already refer to it as "gross" & "nasty & nappy." That's her issue.
 
Good point Ipanema. I wouldn't waste my time either.
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Yup, ignore them. Obviously they have issues about their hair and are projecting it on others. I have a friend who is a 4b. At first she struggled with her decision to go natural, but now 4 years later she wouldn't trade her hair for the world. As she put it: "I love my hair. I can't handle relaxers, so I learned how to care for it the way it is. It's mine, so I have to love it." She doesn't knock the relaxer, she just can't use them without damage.
 
I started to have issues with my natural hair after a white friend of mine told me (when I was overdue for a touchup) that my hair looked like pubic hair.Since joining this board I see pics of natural hair on women that are just as amazing as the relaxed ladies.Now I looove feeling my new growth when it comes in and playing with it and looking at it etc
You should tell your friend about this board.
 
If this person is not exposed to an environment where natural hairstyles are popular they tend to be prejudice to its acceptance. However in the meantime ignore her and don't explain anything to her
 
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katie said:
I started to have issues with my natural hair after a white friend of mine told me (when I was overdue for a touchup) that my hair looked like pubic hair.Since joining this board I see pics of natural hair on women that are just as amazing as the relaxed ladies.Now I looove feeling my new growth when it comes in and playing with it and looking at it etc
You should tell your friend about this board.

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That was an incredibly rude thing for your friend to say.
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pebbles said:
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katie said:
I started to have issues with my natural hair after a white friend of mine told me (when I was overdue for a touchup) that my hair looked like pubic hair.Since joining this board I see pics of natural hair on women that are just as amazing as the relaxed ladies.Now I looove feeling my new growth when it comes in and playing with it and looking at it etc
You should tell your friend about this board.

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That was an incredibly rude thing for your friend to say.
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Okay! The sh** that flies out of people's mouthes, especially white mouthes when it has to do with our hair
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katie said:
I started to have issues with my natural hair after a white friend of mine told me (when I was overdue for a touchup) that my hair looked like pubic hair...

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Is she still your friend?
 
Yea.It made me feel very bad when she said that. I wore a hat til my next touchup.I felt even worse since my hair was also dry and broken up at the time (it was my 1st winter and I didn't know how to care for it)
We still talk ocassionally but we are not as good friends as we used to be.
 
You know, that's just wrong. I can't believe she said your hair looks like pubic hair. That is so mean. I've never had that happen to me, but believe me, I would have said something totally not Christian at that time!!!
 
Katie, pardon me for saying this and i mean it in the nicest way, but you should have set your "friend" straight. It sounded like an undercover insult to me and i do not tolerate those well. lol. anyways, what's so bad about pubic hair? it shines and stuff.
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Please do not pay any attention to me yall, it is very late while i am writing this. Although some textures of hair seem more difficult to manage than others, i agree with everyone here in saying that it is yours and you should find the beauty in it.
 
Katie, that was not a nice comment that your friend gave. How would she take it if the same was said to her? Im glad you ignored it cos in that situation i would have had no words
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more like
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the cow..I'd have laid her down with a karate kid jump kick..then I'd tell her she looked fat that day!
(sorry pmsing today...take the other's advice)
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[ QUOTE ]
katie said:
I started to have issues with my natural hair after a white friend of mine told me (when I was overdue for a touchup) that my hair looked like pubic hair.

Since joining this board I see pics of natural hair on women that are just as amazing as the relaxed ladies.Now I looove feeling my new growth when it comes in and playing with it and looking at it etc
You should tell your friend about this board.

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hera said:
the cow..I'd have laid her down with a karate kid jump kick..then I'd tell her she looked fat that day!
(sorry pmsing today...take the other's advice)
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Katie I cant belive someone would say that, I love love love my natural hair, I love it cause I can make it straigth or curly, I would not Ever want White person hair, and all the things that come with it, If I wanted Straight hair, Just press it, All of ppl cant get the creative hair styles that AA can get, our hair can do alot, and it amazes ppl
 
I think it's bad for anyone to say negative things about a person's hair texture. To me...you almost expect to get questions and possibly rude remarks from whites...because they are ignorant when it comes to Black hair care. I can name a couple of incidents that I have experienced...or have seen others experience....however...

I think it's worse when these rude remarks are coming from a Black woman because it's almost like a form of self hatred...

Katie I don't know what I would have done in your situation.
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I probably would have just walked away from her for good. I understand you not talking to her that much anymore...because now you see her in a different light.
Thank god ignorance isn't contagious!
 
She is trying to project her negative feeling about her hair on other people. Personally, I don't understand why any black person would want hair is flat and limp. It is a shame when people can't love what God gave them.
 
Katie, I don't know what I would have done in that situation, but I know that it would have hurt my feelings.

If it was that "time of the month", I would have let her have it and then not really bothered with her anymore. You know, just be corgial (sp?) but not friendly. But any other time, I would have not wasted my breath on her ignornance and still not bothered with her anyway. I am learning to pick my battles more wisely. But it still would have hurt my feelings.

For those who are religious, a woman said in church today that she no longer looks down on herself or feel inferior to anyone. Because to feel bad about what God has given you is an insult to God. I found this point of view to be excellent. The woman was talking about being fat and not wanting anyone to look at her because she is fat. But now, she is happy with herself because God doesn't make mistakes!
 
Soslyschic & Katie no offence but your 'friends' are ignorant with a capital I. All hair textures and lenghts can be beautiful. Just because white people have straight hair that does not always mean that it is healthy. I have seen many a white person with terrible hair.
 
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pradalover said:
Soslyschic & Katie no offence but your 'friends' are ignorant with a capital I. All hair textures and lenghts can be beautiful. Just because white people have straight hair that does not always mean that it is healthy. I have seen many a white person with terrible hair.

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Christina Aguilera is a good example. She has resorted to wearing wigs on occasion. She had random bald spots all over her head from wearing braids and from bleaching her hair.
 
It's funny because wearing my hair natural, I have gotten so many compliments from people, black and white, but the one time someone says something ignorant, that's all I can think about. I've learned that when you wear your hair natural, in this day and age, you are going to stand out from the crowd.... be prepared for that. You have to be confident in yourself and wear your hair with pride, no matter what anybody says.
 
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