hi sunshine!
i can't airdry either! i think i have gotten down a pretty good regime that my hair likes finally! after i wash, i put in the leave-in, a little aveda usc, and some redken heat protectat. I might attempt to detangle a little bit, starting from the ends, but if i notice more shedding than i'd like to see, i just go right in and blow dry it (on the lowest heat setting), using my fingers to work through it. This has worked well for my hair, as it tends to break/shed more when its wet. After its all dry, then i go through gently with a wide toothed comb, and get any little tangles out. I lose very little hair with this method!
I may start rollersetting again... I remember my hair feeling very strong when I used to do that, but I've just been kinda lazy lately.