THE STARING GAME

[kjeneen]

Ok, so I am REALLY confused right now on men, and here's why...

EVERYWHERE I go, men stop and STARE...not glance, not peek, but STARE so hard that even my looking back at them doesn't deter them. And THAT'S IT...no hollas, no number exchanging, no nothing, and it is sooo annoying.

My brother told me that it may be a mild case of insecurity on the men's part, and advised me to take the initiative. So, I've been just saying hi. After which, they kindly respond and then try to avoid starring.

My mom says that no one is going to stare at something they find unattractive, but I have caught myself starring in disbelief at oddities (of which I PRAY I'm not ).

 

[Denise11]

Maybe you got a parrot on top of your head, that only they can see. LOL

No, but for real. Some men are intimidated by beautiful women. Or women they feel are unapproachable. Maybe you're looking mean or looking like you don't want to be bothered.

When they look at you, do you smile? Maybe you should, then see what happens.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

A lot of men stare, and at times it's at any and every woman that crosses their path.

I live in a town where mostly everyone speaks, so when I pass by a guy I say hello, and keep on moving.

 

[kindnessfirst]

I get the SAME thing kjeneen! But I've been told that I seem unapproachable (by men AND women). Usually b/c I walk around looking mean But I'm generally very happy and nice..... people just say that they don't realize that until after they know me. So I've made it a point to walk into every room SMILING .....and I have noticed a major difference. Females (who we all know are generally catty by nature) even speak to me more.

And I've read that if you walk in confidently and smiling, it makes men want to know you. So I'm gonna try this!!

 

[htown2DAboot]

OMG, I feel you! I thought it was just me! So last night I got tired of it....A guy stared at me so hard he was walking backwards as I was walking the opposite direction...I said Hi and waved...he said hi back...and we started a convo....I was thinking FINALLY...A guy in Louisiana that does more than just STARE!

 

[honeyflaava]

I get the SAME thing kjeneen! But I've been told that I seem unapproachable (by men AND women). Usually b/c I walk around looking mean But I'm generally very happy and nice..... .....and I have noticed a major difference. Females (who we all know are generally catty by nature) even speak to me more. people just say that they don't realize that until after they know me. So I've made it a point to walk into every room SMILING

And I've read that if you walk in confidently and smiling, it makes men want to know you. So I'm gonna try this!!

You sound so much like me! I also was like "huh?" when people told me that I seemed mean and unapproachable because I'm the complete opposite. But I've learned to smile more and you're right, it changes things!

 

[SEMO]

I get the SAME thing kjeneen! But I've been told that I seem unapproachable (by men AND women). Usually b/c I walk around looking mean But I'm generally very happy and nice..... people just say that they don't realize that until after they know me. So I've made it a point to walk into every room SMILING .....and I have noticed a major difference. Females (who we all know are generally catty by nature) even speak to me more.

And I've read that if you walk in confidently and smiling, it makes men want to know you. So I'm gonna try this!!

I'm going to have to try this. I don't give off a mean vibe, but I do think I give off an aloof one. And I am kinda in my own little world when I'm out and about. I often don't notice men staring unless they are extra obvious.

 

[blue_flower]

The same thing happens to me all the time. I just get a lot of stares, no one says anything. Next time I"ll say hi or smile

 

[Princess Tam Tam]

I get a lot of stares and rarely a hello.

Oh...I also get the stop and stare. So creepy.....

Oddly..... enough I don't have a problem with women staring at me. If woman stares me at me hard..... I must be looking good that day.

 

[kjeneen]

Thank you ladies so much for the honest feedback. I have been told by many of my NOW besties that when they first met me they really didn't care for me because of the way I carried myself. But I just laughed because I know what's really going through my head as I strut across the room, I'm thinking, "Oh Lawd, please don't let me trip and bust my head!!"

Needless to say, I have started speaking by now notice that dudes act like I've scared them half to death! So, ok...alright, here's what my position is...when I run into a confident MAN that feels comfortable enough within his own skin to come talk to me, I will deem him 1 in a million and graciously befriend him. Until then, I've got too much to do to have to figure this one completely out.

 

[kjeneen]

Maybe you got a parrot on top of your head, that only they can see. LOL

No, but for real. Some men are intimidated by beautiful women. Or women they feel are unapproachable. Maybe you're looking mean or looking like you don't want to be bothered.

When they look at you, do you smile? Maybe you should, then see what happens.

...riiiight!!! Thanks Denise, I needed that!

 

[NeeSee]

As far as I can remember back, to junior high or at least when I start noticing, every single guy that has liked me has let me know that way and very few approach me. I never will forget when I was like 16 or 17 this guy in our congregation had a crush on me or something. I was not feeling him at all. Every Sunday he would make sure his family set at an angle from mine and stare at me the whole time. It used to irritate me so much so one day, I gave him the screw face to let him know I didn't appreciate it. Dude waited till he got my attention again and rolled his eyes like a female. He was pissed. From that day forward he didn't stop, he just started turning his head when I looked his way and stopped staring so much.



But kjeneen, they are staring because you are beautiful.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

Ok, so I am REALLY confused right now on men, and here's why...

EVERYWHERE I go, men stop and STARE...not glance, not peek, but STARE so hard that even my looking back at them doesn't deter them. And THAT'S IT...no hollas, no number exchanging, no nothing, and it is sooo annoying.

My brother told me that it may be a mild case of insecurity on the men's part, and advised me to take the initiative. So, I've been just saying hi. After which, they kindly respond and then try to avoid starring.

My mom says that no one is going to stare at something they find unattractive, but I have caught myself starring in disbelief at oddities (of which I PRAY I'm not ).

I discovered what this is all about ....The men want you. They will stare to get your attention. Then you have to stare back as in( yes you may approach me..game on.)

Stare at a guy for like 3 or 4 seconds and you will hear him speak up and approach you! I discovered all of this by accident. I stared at one guy by accident up to 3 to 4 seconds..well he was screaming at me.." excuse me , excuse me!!! Hello..." This WM even had his glasses lifted up so I can check out his eyes, gave me a sexy look and all. He also had a big smile. Unfortunately, I was not interested. So I turned away and all the men in the bus started laughing at him, He then mumble.." ummm , huh...(clear his throat) I was just a....(points at his throat) and hangs his head in shame." Then the men laughed even harder at him! I was shocked!!!

I also accidentally stared at by boss too long when i was fresh out of university. He immediately started his "cool" strut and gave me a sexy look.

This staring thing is serious. If you like the man, stare 3 or 4 seconds... turn your head all while smiling( not a full smile, semi- smile). Watch him run to you!

 

[NeeSee]

This WM even had his glasses lifted up so I can check out his eyes, gave me a sexy look and all. He also had a big smile. Unfortunately, I was not interested. So I turned away and all the men in the bus started laughing at him, He then mumble.." ummm , huh...(clear his throat) I was just a....(points at his throat) and hangs his head in shame." Then the men laughed even harder at him! I was shocked!!!

That is too funny.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Meh, I've had guys stare me down and then when I'd go up to them and say hi, they'd change their attitudes. If a guy is staring, I'll smile and go on about my business. If he's interested, he'll approach. The guys who really liked me had no problem coming up and striking up a conversation.