The Power of Coloring - Can Coloring Save A Marriage

[DaughterOfZion1]

This is a spin off from the other thread- The Power of Coloring. I didnt want to hijack the other thread, but I wanted to know what you guys thought.

Do you think coloring can save a marriage? A marriage that might have lost its passion, or be struggling, do you think increased coloring and the intimacy it brings can help the 2 fall back in love?

 

[aribell]

No personal opinion, but my pastor said that when couples come into his office with marital problems, the first thing he asks is whether they're having sex, and if they're not he tells them to start immediately. It wasn't even like, "I tell them to fall in love all over again." He was just, "they need to start having sex again."

Now telling them to restore their sex life wasn't the end of the counseling, but it was definitely the beginning.

 

[Chrissy811]

Hmm very interesting, I'm not sure if it can save a marriage. Sometime when that stops its because of other reasons. So those problems will still have to be addressed as well otherwise coloring is just going to become a totally physical act. IMO

 

[ClassyTiffy]

I'm not sure if it can actually save a marriage, but I read the below a few months ago and it was very interesting:

 

[Ladybelle]

I think when a woman's fed up... there's nothing you can do about it. But, I also think that when two people BOTH want to actively work to save their marriage, then sex certainly won't hinder that process & I think it would help tremendously. And, I'm talking about the passionate/lovemaking kind of sex -it takes emotional stuff to have that kind of sex.

 

[topnotch1010]

I think it helps save it because its a act of bonding, which will make a person want to save it, but it won't actually solve the problem.

No sex is an effect of a bigger problem. I agree with the pastor that if you wanna save your marriage, you've gotta start have sex again along with working on the problem.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[dlewis]

I think it can. I know at different times during my marriage I haven't been into Dh but we still kept things going and I was able to fall in love again. This is why I'm not lead by my feelings. Feelings come and go, if you have everything else there I believe a marriage can work. I don't know people who like to admit it BUT I seriously doubt everybody likes/is love with their spouse every minute of their marriage. I know I don't.

I'll stick with my statement from the other thread.

 

[it_comes_naturally]

If it were me, no, coloring wouldn't save my marriage b/c if I'm not coloring it's because I'm not into him like that anymore.

 

[DaughterOfZion1]

Interesting responses. I thought the answer would be yes across the board lol. Being that Im waiting for marriage, I may have a naive idea of the power of coloring. I always believed its this incomparable bonding experience.

 

[Evolving78]

sex can not save a marriage. when your head isn't in the game, not amount of coloring can get you back there. something still has to be there in order for things to work out.

 

[HauteHippie]

I'll start by pointing out that I'm not married... But I think it could save a marriage. Before me and my ex broke up, we were not... coloring. I was still planning a wedding I really didn't want to be involved in anymore. I think that our smaller problems could've been resolved and our larger problems helped significantly. There wasn't any form of bonding at all and ALL of our problems really stemmed from that. I'll stay with someone if we're on the same team, even if we're having a long rough patch.

Coloring is free, fun, and (sometimes) quick. So if it turns out that coloring was a bad idea, it'll probably be over soon anyway.

 

[Lady Esquire]

This is what I thought she was asking also.



I think it can. I know at different times during my marriage I haven't been into Dh but we still kept things going and I was able to fall in love again. This is why I'm not lead by my feelings. Feelings come and go, if you have everything else there I believe a marriage can work. I don't know people who like to admit it BUT I seriously doubt everybody likes/is love with there spouse every minute of their marriage. I know I don't.

This is me and DH too. I came into the marriage, after observing others' marriages, knowing that there will be an ebb and a flow. I enjoy the good times. I even appreciate the bad times, because I know they're temporal and the bad times are there to teach me something or force us to deal with somethings. And once that bad period is over, the next good period is even that much more enjoyable. So, for that reason, I don't understand the theory of holding the poonannie for ransom. You're not just hurting the man, but you're depriving yourself of pleasure, as a hostage also. Ask yourself, "how's this working for me?"

 

[Lady Esquire]

sex can not save a marriage. when your head isn't in the game, not amount of coloring can get you back there. something still has to be there in order for things to work out.

I agree it cannot SAVE the marriage. I also agree that there has to be "something" left in order for you to lay down with him. That "something" is different for everyone. It could be love, it could be living together, it could physical attraction, it could be plain old horniness, it could be wanting to stick it out for the kids.

Whatever that "something" is that's left, sex can allow it to blossom again and reveal itself to both people.

However, I don't understanding stopping it all together. That is a sure-fire way to end the marriage.

 

[dlewis]

This is me and DH too. I came into the marriage, after observing others' marriages, knowing that there will be an ebb and a flow. I enjoy the good times. I even appreciate the bad times, because I know they're temporal and the bad times are there to teach me something or force us to deal with somethings. And once that bad period is over, the next good period is even that much more enjoyable. So, for that reason, I don't understand the theory of holding the poonannie for ransom. You're not just hurting the man, but you're depriving yourself of pleasure, as a hostage also. Ask yourself, "how's this working for me?"

 

[Lady Esquire]

^^^^ When we're good, I have good sex.
When I'm angry, I have angry sex.
When I'm lazy, I have lazy sex.

You get it. And because the sex didn't get sacrificed for the fleeting emotion, we're able to talk and work through it and move on to the next phase. Don't get me wrong, I do ration it out if I have to, but I won't cut it off.

Watching my mom, who is on her 3rd marriage, being loud and proud to cross her legs and wag her finger, it showed me, "hmmmm, that ain't the way to go."

 

[Pat Mahurr]

Meh, I don't know. I think having sex can't save a marriage, but NOT having sex can help break one.

As for it being this great bonding experience, really coloring is only as powerful as two people want it to be. Sometimes sex between two married people is the moon, the stars, the heavens smiling down on you. Sometimes, it's just sex.

 

[lovenharmony]

It depends. If the underlying issue of your marriage is sexual in nature, once you find out the reason why the frequency has stopped, then possibly. Unfortunately most of the time the issues that destroy a marriage are deeper than the physical act of making love.

 

[Poohbear]

I believe sex can save a marriage. I also believe that is why God intended sex for marriage only... to reconcile, to cover all faults, rekindle the love for one another within a lifelong committed relationship, etc...

Check out some of this pastor's youtube videos: YouTube - Love, Marriage, and Stinking Thinking - Sex Makes You Stupid

Here's his websites on marriage and relationships:
Marriage Seminars | Mark Gungor
Mark Gungor's Seminar for People who Hate Marriage Seminars

 

[abcd09]

Hmm. Doesn't it seem like if this was the case then people in romantic love/highly sexual relationships should be having great relationships with little problems? I think sex is just sex for men. It's a physical need and the reason why a marriage will not work is because he promised to have only sex with you, and if there's no sex he's not meeting a need. Women have needs too, but definitely feel more connection after sex. Women can have it both ways, sex for sex's sake, and sex for connection. Take sex away and we will still love you...for the most part. For me sex cannot save anything. It can fulfill needs, and sometimes you can use sex to ignore whatever you need to fix. Having communication problems? Ugh, that's too difficult to really deal with, just have sex and smile at one another and it'll work its self out. Having any other issues? Ugh too difficult, just have sex and it'll work its self out.

 

[HauteHippie]

Women can have it both ways, sex for sex's sake, and sex for connect Take sex away and we will still love you...for the most part.

Fo' real? If me and my [imaginary] husband are not having sex, there better be a medical reason. Like, he's paralyzed. I wish he would take sex away...