The guy that constantlyasks you out the day of or the day before?

[vevster]

This guy my cousin is kinda liking keeps asking her out on Friday for Friday night or for Saturday.

She is a very busy girl and keeps letting him know she has plans.

The guy refuses to ask her out a few days or a week in advance.

This really pisses me off. He wants is casual and doesn't want to ask her out on a real date?

If I were her I would continue to be busy.

What say ye ladies!

 

[BroadstreetBully]

I agree. I'd continue to be busy. You have to respect my schedule enough to make time for me.

 

[donna894]

I agree. I'd continue to be busy. You have to respect my schedule enough to make time for me.

Me too. She's told him she doesn't like these last minute plans and yet he continues the same behavior? He sounds like an inconsiderate idiot. NEXT!!!

 

[JFemme]

He's a busta...

She should lose his number...and block him from contacting her...

 

[TayMac]

He will continue to get turned down and since he has been asked to schedule earlier and he ignores...I'd just dismiss him all together. He's not worth the time.

 

[january noir]

I agree. I'd continue to be busy. You have to respect my schedule enough to make time for me.

Agreed. I messed around and dated a guy for too long that did this mess. You live and learn. Good thing I finally got some sense and left him alone for someone who made me a priority.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

she should not give him another thought, not even close to a dilemma

 

[Cincysweetie]

Sounds like she's doing the right thing, continuing to be busy. The Rules say a man should ask you out no less than three days in advance and if he doesn't, you decline the offer even if you are free, by letting him know that you already have other plans. However, IIRC, they say that you should NOT tell him to ask you out further in advance next time or clue him in on the three day rule, but instead that you should let him figure it out for himself. OP, you didn't mention the Rules in your initial post but it kinda sounds like that's what your cousin is doing, intentionally or not. I applaud her for that because it can be a difficult rule to stick to for some!

 

[blqhrt]

I agree w/ everyone, because it seems as if he is asking her out as an afterthought, like he doesn't have anything else to do.

 

[filthyfresh]

I agree.
I have had the same issues in the past.
Eventually they learn.
If they don't, forget them.
I am guilty of making next day/same day plans when things fall through.
Then I call them as an afterthought.
I'm guilty of the same thing as them.
So I can't really fault them for that behavior. LOL.

 

[Duchesse]

I can't stand men like that. If I am such a last minute thought, get the stepping.

He's letting it known how he feels about her.

 

[SpiritJunkie]

i got one of these fools right now. he keep asking me last minute and i keeping saying no. he left me a message saying he realize he keep asking last minute. ok so stop doing it and ask me in advance.

We will see how they next one goes..if not in advance this guy is for later!

 

[vkb247]

Is it a possibility that he is just busy too? I totally hear what you ladies are saying and your points are valid, but I think it would be a shame to pass up a perfectly good man for this reason. The flip side, a guy could always call you in advance but be a jack***, player, psycho , killer, whatever.

I say that as long as she is busy she should keep saying no and if he keeps calling and one of the times she actually is free than she should go out with him and see what he really has going on. I don't see any harm in that.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

Is it a possibility that he is just busy too? I totally hear what you ladies are saying and your points are valid, but I think it would be a shame to pass up a perfectly good man for this reason. The flip side, a guy could always call you in advance but be a jack***, player, psycho , killer, whatever.

I say that as long as she is busy she should keep saying no and if he keeps calling and one of the times she actually is free than she should go out with him and see what he really has going on. I don't see any harm in that.

In the OP, vev says he refuses to ask her out in advance after she has told him she is busy, to me thats being a jerk cause he already knws she aint running game i mean if u tell a guy that u r busy but if he asks in advance then u will be able to go then u r expressing interest cause you didnt just say no and leave it there.

If he is soooo busy that he cant ask her out in advance then he has no business dating. I would be turned off because this is the time when he is supposed to be pulling out all the stops trying to iimpress her.

 

[jerseygurl]

She's a rules girl alright.

If he doesn't want to call her and make a date in advance then he needs to leave her alone and move on cos I don't think she's going to change her mind anytime soon

 

[msdeevee]

Sounds like she's a back up for when his real plans don't work out.

Especially since she's already told him she doesn't like that. When a man is really into a woman he will do most anything to get her. At least that's what I've experienced.

 

[Ramya]

Is it a possibility that he is just busy too? I totally hear what you ladies are saying and your points are valid, but I think it would be a shame to pass up a perfectly good man for this reason. The flip side, a guy could always call you in advance but be a jack***, player, psycho , killer, whatever.

I say that as long as she is busy she should keep saying no and if he keeps calling and one of the times she actually is free than she should go out with him and see what he really has going on. I don't see any harm in that.

If he is *that* busy, he would be more than willing to make plans in advance so that he can pencil them into his busy schedule. I am not a back up plan. if you can't call me in advance, then we are not going and more than likely, I will be busy . You set the tone of things at the very beginning. If she accepts this inconsiderate behavior in the beginning, he will continue to behave this way later.

 

[Taliah]

I'm sorry, but from what I know about men they have to get vested first before they start treating you like some princess. More than likely he probably isn't quite sure if he likes her or not, but what's a chance to see.
He's not thinking he's being a jerk or treating her poorly. As of now he will never get a chance to see her as a potential serious date. He's keeping it light until he deems her "court" worthy. If I was a guy I would scope out woman the same way, especially if I had lots to offer.
No worthy man is going to jump through hoops for you until he is certain you are someone he can SEE himself with. NOT gonna happen ladies.

 

[Ramya]

I'm sorry, but from what I know about men they have to get vested first before they start treating you like some princess. More than likely he probably isn't quite sure if he likes her or not, but what's a chance to see.
He's not thinking he's being a jerk or treating her poorly. As of now he will never get a chance to see her as a potential serious date. He's keeping it light until he deems her "court" worthy. If I was a guy I would scope out woman the same way, especially if I had lots to offer.
No worthy man is going to jump through hoops for you until he is certain you are someone he can SEE himself with. NOT gonna happen ladies.

No worthy man that YOU have dated. Every man that I have dated has called me in advance. Calling ahead for a date is NOT jumping through hoops. That's etiquette 101. She has asked him to call her in advance, which obviously lets him know that she is interested in dating him but can't if he waits until the last minute to ask her out. I'm not even a "rules girl" and expect people to give me time to do things. He values HIS time by waiting until the last minute to ask since HE is available but shows very little interest in HER time.

 

[Taliah]

No worthy man that YOU have dated. Every man that I have dated has called me in advance. Calling ahead for a date is NOT jumping through hoops. That's etiquette 101. She has asked him to call her in advance, which obviously lets him know that she is interested in dating him but can't if he waits until the last minute to ask her out. I'm not even a "rules girl" and expect people to give me time to do things. He values HIS time by waiting until the last minute to ask since HE is available but shows very little interest in HER time.

Yes, that's right. He doesn't know if he is interested yet.

This is not about right or wrong. I believe it happens this way at times and before two people know if they want to really be bothered they may not be considerate of your time.

 

[msdeevee]

No worthy man that YOU have dated. Every man that I have dated has called me in advance. Calling ahead for a date is NOT jumping through hoops. That's etiquette 101. She has asked him to call her in advance, which obviously lets him know that she is interested in dating him but can't if he waits until the last minute to ask her out. I'm not even a "rules girl" and expect people to give me time to do things. He values HIS time by waiting until the last minute to ask since HE is available but shows very little interest in HER time.

ITA..men are mostly visual anyway when they meet a woman he wants to pursue most times it's based off something that he is attracted to physically and later on comes the getting to know her personality and all that. I'm not saying all men I just personally believe that most are at 1st physically attracted and like I said before if a man is interested in you seriously he will pull out all his best to get with you.

This woman has already told him she does not appreciate his last minute calls so he is obviously "not that into her" . He is just interested enough to see if she can fill up a last minute opening, or else he is just really rude and thoughtless. I think any "worthy" man would be willing to jump through hoops to date me if he is seriously interested in me. At least that's what I expect...no less.

I agree too with the poster that said "don't start nothing with a man , you don't want to finish" if you accept bad behavior in the beginning what can you say later?

 

[caribeandiva]

I agree. I'd continue to be busy. You have to respect my schedule enough to make time for me.

I totally agree!

 

[cheetarah1980]

Yes, that's right. He doesn't know if he is interested yet.

This is not about right or wrong. I believe it happens this way at times and before two people know if they want to really be bothered they may not be considerate of your time.

If he wants to spend time with her then he WILL be considerate of her time. There's no point in making excuses for bad behavior. Rude is rude. And you don't get to be rude to me just because you don't know me like that yet.

 

[ScorpionQueen]

I think she should continue to be busy until he respects her time. Men do what you allow them to do. If he never gets to that point of respecting her time and asking her out in advance, then she should move on..there are always other fish in the sea.