The "Fix Up" -What Should I Do?

[TinyBlu]

OK... a coworker of mine pulled a "Something New" fix-up on me, and I am not sure what to do. She called me yesterday all excited about meeting a friend of hers she told all about me. She informed me that he was from her home town, and that he is white.

I had to take some deep breaths. I have to be honest about this... I can look at white men and appreciate an attractive one, and I have tried to entertain dating outside my race, but I am having a hard time with this one. First of all, she is from Ashland, KENTUCKY!!!!!!!!!! That in itself scares me. I just have this fear that he may be "open minded" but I would venture to say that his parents probably aren't (I know that's not fair since I haven't met them...)

I dunno. I have lived in the South all my life, and I just have this stereotype in my head about "Southern" white folks. If he would have said he was the son of hippies from the West Coast, I would have been with it, but I am terrified.

Does that make me racist? I just feel like white folks don't "get" it, and I don't want the extra pressure of explaining it to someone. I want to say "No", but this could be a really great guy.

I REALLY hate dating...

 

[Bunny77]

My boyfriend is from the hills of Pennsyvlania where the black population is negative 2.

His mama keeps asking when we're gonna pop out some babies... just sayin'...

(Oh, she dated a brotha too at one time).


Also, in my experience, I find that the so-called "progressive" white guys are less likely to date black women than most people think. And their parents aren't as accepting as folks want to think...

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

Also, in my experience, I find that the so-called "progressive" white guys are less likely to date black women than most people think. And their parents aren't as accepting as folks want to think...

I've noticed this too. People should not take too much comfort in someones political affiliation. My experience is that people from moderate to moderate/conservative backgrounds/upbringing are more attracted to black women specifically. In my personal experience, I've only been hit on by about a dozen to a dozen and half white men in my life and they have all fit the aforementioned demographic. The white men who are uber liberal or equal rights types tend to be extra in that way more so for their conscience and less about being open minded.

 

[ArrrBeee]

OK... a coworker of mine pulled a "Something New" fix-up on me, and I am not sure what to do. She called me yesterday all excited about meeting a friend of hers she told all about me. She informed me that he was from her home town, and that he is white.

I had to take some deep breaths. I have to be honest about this... I can look at white men and appreciate an attractive one, and I have tried to entertain dating outside my race, but I am having a hard time with this one. First of all, she is from Ashland, KENTUCKY!!!!!!!!!! That in itself scares me. I just have this fear that he may be "open minded" but I would venture to say that his parents probably aren't (I know that's not fair since I haven't met them...)

I dunno. I have lived in the South all my life, and I just have this stereotype in my head about "Southern" white folks. If he would have said he was the son of hippies from the West Coast, I would have been with it, but I am terrified.

Does that make me racist? I just feel like white folks don't "get" it, and I don't want the extra pressure of explaining it to someone. I want to say "No", but this could be a really great guy.

I REALLY hate dating...

It doesn't make you racist. It will be a new experience for you. As long as he knows you are black, don't worry. Go out, have a good time and don't center the evenings conversation on race. Come back and tell us how it went.

 

[Filmatic]

Don't think so much into it or let fears beat you out of someone with potential. I date out of my race quite a bit and actually a lot in the South too. I've only had 1 guy tell me that, but I don't like to count him bc we were broken up & I didn't even want to meet them. The rest have had no problems with that.

If he knows you are black and he's willing to day, the family thing is probably not an issue.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Hey...what's wrong with at least meeting this guy??

You're already thinking about the "in-laws", and meeting his family and such when you haven't even met the dude! You may NOT like him! He may not like you. You two may not even click!

So...cross that bridge only when you get there...not before silly!

I see nothing wrong with meeting new men, getting to know people, and expanding the horizons. Even if nothing romantic develops out of it, at least maybe you would have met a new friend. He may know OTHER people too.

So, go 'head girl!!! Go for it!!

 

[awhyley]

Don't sleep on dem Kentucky boys. Both George Clooney and Johnny Depp are from Kentucky. *nods*

 

[wofford16]

Don't sleep on dem Kentucky boys. Both George Clooney and Johnny Depp are from Kentucky. *nods*

I agree. I am orignially from Kentucky and there are some fine men up in dem der hills and some are quite open-minded as well.

Also remember you are getting to know him first, if not a potential mate then quite possibly a great friend for life.

 

[cheetarah1980]

How about you just meet him first and worry about potential in-laws once you're in a relationship. One step at a time.

 

[Guitarhero]

I dunno. I have lived in the South all my life, and I just have this stereotype in my head about "Southern" white folks. If he would have said he was the son of hippies from the West Coast, I would have been with it, but I am terrified.

Does that make me racist? I just feel like white folks don't "get" it, and I don't want the extra pressure of explaining it to someone. I want to say "No", but this could be a really great guy.

I REALLY hate dating...

LOL. Why is she allowed to set you up? If you don't have a good vibe, then be busy that weekend. Or meet the guy along with her for lunch and that's that. When you said "Kentucky!!!!" I immediately thought of banjo music

 

[lux10023]

is he attractive? did he make you visually curious...

hey you never know...y not..nothing to lose?

i can understand your concerns being from the south and etc

 

[TinyBlu]

Hey...what's wrong with at least meeting this guy??

You're already thinking about the "in-laws", and meeting his family and such when you haven't even met the dude! You may NOT like him! He may not like you. You two may not even click!

So...cross that bridge only when you get there...not before silly!

I see nothing wrong with meeting new men, getting to know people, and expanding the horizons. Even if nothing romantic develops out of it, at least maybe you would have met a new friend. He may know OTHER people too.

So, go 'head girl!!! Go for it!!

You are SOOO right! Point taken!

 

[TinyBlu]

is he attractive? did he make you visually curious...

hey you never know...y not..nothing to lose?

i can understand your concerns being from the south and etc

That's just it... it's a BLIND date with a white man(LAWD!). My co worker says he's "hot", but I am not sure we have the same taste in men. I will have to let you know!

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

keep us posted gal!

 

[Spiffy]

When you peel back the layers, you will be surprised how many things we can have in common with people who we think would not 'get it'.

Girl, go through with it and have fun and chalk it up to experience if nothing else!