The Fake Hair "Stigma"

[Anticipatience08]

It's funny...since I've become active on LHCF, I have found this is one of the few places I can talk about wearing a weave. Outside of this bubble, though, it hasn't been so easy.

I constantly hear snide comments and snarky remarks about the fact that I wear a weave. And it gets to be pretty annoying at times!

To be honest, I used to wear them because I wasn't happy with my hair. Then I decided to go natural and I wore them while I transitioned. And now, I'm using them during my HHJ--for now, at least.

But the comments from other people, especially other women, can be a bit much at times. Many times, I've got way more hair than the women who have something negative to say. But the assumption is always that I must be bald. Or I don't love myself. Or if I wear fake hair, I must be a fake person. Yadda yadda yadda...

It often feels like, with the people who do this that know me, have used the fact that I wear extensions as the thing that they can pick at about me since they assume they can't go after anything else. So childish!!

Consider this my first LHCF rant

 

[yaya24]

You need a new circle of friends.

Honestly, people need to mind their own business.

HHG.

 

[TraciChanel]

Anticipatience08 keep protective styling by wearing your weaves. Let the haters hate! As long as you feel good about yourself. Your hair will continue to grow long and they will EAT their words. You will have the last laugh.

 

[Anticipatience08]

You need a new circle of friends.

Honestly, people need to mind their own business.

HHG.

Fortunately, I don't have this problem with my friends! But even when I've shown them photos of my hair, they're surprised at the fact that YES, I DO HAVE HAIR!

My side hustle requires me to organize a lot of social events, and many of the women there like to make rude comments...especially since they know I can't say anything because I'm "working".

It just made me think about this attitude some people have about women who wear weaves...even men. My fiance is supportive because he already knows what lies beneath LOL, but this seems to be the assumption of many.

 

[GreenBloodyShoe]

I have only noticed women/girls of other ethnicities use wearing weave as an insult to Black women in that we can never have long hair of our own unless we are mixed with one of their ethnicities. I think the reason I haven't heard it from Black girls is because many in my generation are weaved up or don't see weave as a big deal. I'm quite young so I think many of the girls I know are so enthralled by celebs (Beyonce, Tyra Banks, Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan) who wear them that it is seen as glamorous instead of a disguise for bald headed people (which it isn't of course).

 

[RocStar]

It's funny...since I've become active on LHCF, I have found this is one of the few places I can talk about wearing a weave. Outside of this bubble, though, it hasn't been so easy.

I constantly hear snide comments and snarky remarks about the fact that I wear a weave. And it gets to be pretty annoying at times!

To be honest, I used to wear them because I wasn't happy with my hair. Then I decided to go natural and I wore them while I transitioned. And now, I'm using them during my HHJ--for now, at least.

But the comments from other people, especially other women, can be a bit much at times. Many times, I've got way more hair than the women who have something negative to say. But the assumption is always that I must be bald. Or I don't love myself. Or if I wear fake hair, I must be a fake person. Yadda yadda yadda...

It often feels like, with the people who do this that know me, have used the fact that I wear extensions as the thing that they can pick at about me since they assume they can't go after anything else. So childish!!

Consider this my first LHCF rant

I don't know where you live or your social surroundings, but I didn't think there was a weave/wig stigma in 2013. So many people of all races wear fake hair.

People are always going to judge...if it wasn't your hair, it would be your looks, clothes, etc. It doesn't matter why you are wearing fake hair or if your natural hair is longer than theirs, if you are confident in yourself, you will learn to brush off and ignore any such comments.

And for those people who you say know you and pick at you about your extensions, you have the choice to keep them in your life or not.

 

[Anticipatience08]

I don't know where you live or your social surroundings, but I didn't think there was a weave/wig stigma in 2013. So many people of all races wear fake hair.

People are always going to judge...if it wasn't your hair, it would be your looks, clothes, etc. It doesn't matter why you are wearing fake hair or if your natural hair is longer than theirs, if you are confident in yourself, you will learn to brush off and ignore any such comments.

And for those people who you say know you and pick at you about your extensions, you have the choice to keep them in your life or not.

I shared an article a few weeks ago where a woman talked about other women "hiding" behind their weaves, so I do believe that there is still a bit of negativity out there. And I live in Atlanta, so weaves are almost as prevalent as peaches here LOL!

The comments obviously don't keep me from doing me. I'm still weaved up and gonna continue to do so. My "rant" was moreso for the women who think it's okay to judge and make comments about it. Like I clarified, these people are not my friends so they aren't people I choose to have in my life--they are people I have met through my company and because they are customers I can't go off on them like I'd want to or cut them off...that would mean less money for my weaves

 

[Saludable84]

My hair is relaxed, well texlaxed, and I still get people questioning if my hair is real. I got this when I was natural, bone straight, and now texlaxed. Women would literally touch my scalp and think I was stupid and not notice. I got over it a long time ago; It's not worth my time and energy. They just mad because they can't check you boo!

Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together

 

[Monaleezza]

I got the same thing from;

A. Women who were mixed &were being snide against black women
B. Women with long hair who had become bitter that all women were achieving with weaves the same look that they thought they had exclusively.
C. Women who want to make clear in front of men that their hair is long & their own because they believe that's what men like.

Tell them this; Don't hate girls! Weave or no weave my hair is beautiful whether I buy it, grew it, sew it, Diversity is King!!

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I've found the opposite in my circles. There's a stigma attached to not wearing a weave. Maybe it's because i'm a student/graduate. But people assume that because you don't wear weaves, you must be poor. When I was a student, my parents were supporting me and there was no way my mother would forgive me spending her money on weaves when i should be studying ( i swear to god, if it were up to her i'd be bald). Now I'm earning my own money its hard for me to take it and spend it on someone elses hair. Maybe i'm just not about that life yet. (another reason is that my scalp is way tender, i can't keep canerows in for more than an hour)
When I get asked by people wearing weaves why I don't wear one, they think i'm coming for them. I'm a firm believer that no one should tell you what to do with yourself. (You're a grown woman, you can do WHATever you want).

Society likes telling women, and even moreso black women what they should and shouldn't be doing with their bodies. It's sad when other women uphold that f*ckery. I guess what i'm trying to say is, Do you, Boo.

 

[lux10023]

OP i feel ya...i too feel like the one jab a women can make towards me is that i rock weaves or etc
meanwhile my real hair underneath my weave could run circles around their hair any day
---i think it is quite comical...
i wear weaves because I'm protective styling and transitioning and lead a very busy life in which i am always on the go---plus i like to experiment with color which can be very damaging to ones hair
if thats the only insult a person can throw my way than that says a lot lmao..i ignore it--because truth be told i love my 4a thick and healthy hair...
plus i don't think ppl realize how many women of all races wear weaves...they would be surprised...

 

[Anakinsmomma]

Blame Tyra and Chris Rock. They are the ones that got everyone thinking they comment on our hair and that we are all bald.

 

[havilland]

Blame Tyra and Chris Rock. They are the ones that got everyone thinking they comment on our hair and that we are all bald.

This right here^^^^

I just got this yesterday! "You're hair is so long! It must be extensions?!"

Why must it be??? And who gives you the right to question me or my hair???

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

To me, a weave is like any other accessory I choose to wear on my head. I wear bows, hats, scarfs, and weave. So what. When you hear comments while at work babygirl just say.. Huh? Oh yes it's weave this week.. maybe braids next week. who knows... smile and fling your hair girl friend!!!

 

[nlamr2013]

You need a new circle of friends.

Honestly, people need to mind their own business.

HHG.

Basically.
Where are you located? That's so new to me. In Atlanta people stop you on the streets to ask about your hair or everyone has that true glory cornchip weave.
That's is just really new to me. Shoot if my hair wasn't so frizzy and poofy and I wasn't afraid of heat id be slinging my 20in all in peoples faces

 

[CurlyMoo]

When I was a little girl my mother, aunts and my mothers friends all had some snazzy wigs on their closet shelf. And all had a head full of hair. I thought it was funny and girly.

Back then they were discreet, you never knew what was going on at the extent that we do now. I was very anti-weave because I wanted to see Black women love their hair as much as they loved fake hair, I still cringe when I see obvious messy weaves, but a well put together weave can be a thing of beauty and undetectable.

I then realized that the only women to get picked on and "called out" are Black women when it comes to hair. Because weave, extensions, wigs, etc is a woman thing. We just like to play in hair. Even when it's real people will make nasty remarks. This goes beyond hair and into race related issues I think. Or Americans are just plain immature and nasty people. I don't recall other cultures having this issue. I say continue to do what makes you happy and be the beautiful person that you are.

Welcome to LHCF

 

[girlonfire]

When I was a little girl my mother, aunts and my mothers friends all had some snazzy wigs on their closet shelf. And all had a head full of hair. I thought it was funny and girly.

Back then they were discreet, you never knew what was going on at the extent that we do now. I was very anti-weave because I wanted to see Black women love their hair as much as they loved fake hair, I still cringe when I see obvious messy weaves, but a well put together weave can be a thing of beauty and undetectable.

I then realized that the only women to get picked on and "called out" are Black women when it comes to hair. Because weave, extensions, wigs, etc is a woman thing. We just like to play in hair. Even when it's real people will make nasty remarks. This goes beyond hair and into race related issues I think. Or Americans are just plain immature and nasty people. I don't recall other cultures having this issue. I say continue to do what makes you happy and be the beautiful person that you are.

Welcome to LHCF

you know I don't think I've ever heard someone bash someone who wore weave that didn't look like weave. I think the negativity comes from seeing women who are obviously wearing weave aka sloppy installs, horrible blending, tracks showing, etc. like you said, weave can be beautiful when done right.
Edit: and i say this to say that the reason noone really bashes other races as much as black women for wearing weave is because the common textures of weave look more like the texture of caucasian, asian, hispanic hair. So blending right off the bat is not an issue. Ive noticed that some companies now make hair that is processed to look like relaxed hair or blown out afro hair (jace beauty) so thats awesome! so that leaves install, color and length. Now, im not a weavologist and I've never worn weave but i have taken it apon myself to learn all i can about it. I think if the install is done well and the hair is a realistic length and color then there would be less flack about black women who wear weave.
Oh and installs! I think the skip track method and micro links look WAY more natural than the conventional full head sew in.
Edit:but i guess the skip track and micros don't really serve as goof protective styles, just look better.

 

[all_1_length]

i

I still cringe when I see obvious messy weaves, but a well put together weave can be a thing of beauty and undetectable.

Thank you, I really appreciate this comment. This is the reason I an not anti weave. As much of a natural supporter that I am I always figured that if the weave looks good on you then wear it.

 

[naija24]

I don't like weaves.

Not for any political reason or whatever. It's like everyone woman in DC either has a weave or is natural (transitioning). And if you are transitioning or natural, the advice is to get a weave. I'm not a fan of people telling me what to do. And I don't like wearing anything that isn't mine and trying to have it pass as the real thing. It's why I can't do super push up bras either.

 

[Adiatasha]

OP.. Ask them people for your business back

I work with someone (my supervisor) who is anti anything fake. Nails, breasts, hair... Blah blah but especially hair. She walks around with a gorgeous set of natural hair that she grew (yeah her) but constantly states how this ones hair is fake and this ones other thing is fake. And it dawned on me. She ain't got nothing else going on in her life other than to be hyper focused on everyone else. These people that are walking around critiquing everyone probably only have their hair as a characteristic

This is the same woman who thought it was appropriate to comment on my breast size. Saying I'm wearing a push up bra and advertising falsely....... Which I wasn't but I found it to be highly unprofessional so my reaction, let's say she no longer makes any comments about me.

Only women so things like this. We constantly tear each other down.

#byefelecia

 

[TopShelf]

I have grown to hate weaves.
I don't say anything to women about their weaves because it's not my place, but only on this board have I seen women perpetually wear weaves and have beautiful long hair underneath. Everyone else that I know that wears weaves all of the time have sub-par hair underneath, at best.

 

[CurlyMoo]

I have noticed recently that when I wear my hair down, people are more surprised when you are NOT wearing a weave. Especially if it's long or really thick and full.

 

[Lurkee]

OP from what you said you have always worn weaves but the reason for doing so has changed over time. I think a lot of beautiful black women wear weaves and whatever the reason is, society just sees a group of people who rarely wear their own hair. I know that other races do and blah blah blah but if you gather a group of 20 black women and a group of 20 women from other races then I am pretty sure the percentage of weave wearers will be much higher in the black population. It is what it is.

At the end of the day, it is your decision to wear it and don't let anyone make you feel ashamed for doing so. If they say you never wear your real hair just say OK and move along. These are not friends anyway and their opinion should not affect you. Wearing hair extensions is not an insult at all.

 

[Adiatasha]

I have grown to hate weaves. I don't say anything to women about their weaves because it's not my place, but only on this board have I seen women perpetually wear weaves and have beautiful long hair underneath. Everyone else that I know that wears weaves all of the time have sub-par hair underneath, at best.

I can understand that. But I think lot of bad installs and sub par hair underneath is lack of education. I don't think any woman wants to walk around with sub par hair

 

[AmiJay]

I'm sick of weaves. I don't say anything when I see a woman wearing them, but I just feel like weaves are basic because everyone wears them. If I go somewhere with a bunch of black women, the women wearing their real hair are always outnumbered. Makes no sense.

 

[krikit96]

Hi! I have bsl hair. My hair has always been at least shoulder length, and that was when I transitioned and chopped it off. People are always surprised when they see my hair, "Oh you have nice long and thick hair, please don't wear anymore wigs/weaves!" My response is always to thank them for the compliment, and let them know that I'm doing what works for me. (I'm in the MBL challenge, so I'm wigging til I get there). Clearly my hair is nice because I know wtf I'm doing. Plus I love being able to have a short, funky, asymmetric Bob and then two weeks later I'm rocking shoulder length spirals... Then another two weeks I'm wearing a close cropped short do. Then next month when I rock my bsl twist outs and it's MINE, and I'm even more fly, now what? You mad? Ha! Miss me with that bs. You can not like wigs/weaves all you want, and that's why you can do whatever YOU do. Commenting to someone about THEIR hair is line stepping... Likely to hear something you don't wanna hear if you say it to me. You don't know if that woman has cancer or alopecia or what's going on-just stfu.

 

[koolkittychick]

What I'm curious about is why is it considered "line stepping" if you ask a black woman whether she's wearing weave or not, especially if the person wearing the weave loudly proclaims it's "just hair" or they are "protective styling" or "it's for convenience/versatility/options" and they're really tailbone length underneath the fake hair? Almost every non-Black woman I know who wears extensions (and proportionately speaking, there are A LOT LESS of them compared to Black people) has absolutely no problem telling you she is wearing weave or extensions (even if she is wearing them for alopecia/cancer reasons), and one woman even started taking them out in front of me to show them to me.

It seems Black women are the only ones as a group who refuse to discuss the nature of their hair, even when it's painfully obvious what's going on on their heads. Maybe there wouldn't be so many negative assumptions about how and why we wear weave if we as women weren't so reliant on it, and/or ashamed of, impatient with or plain hated what was underneath it. I have never worn weave, but now that my hair is at a length where when I wear it out, most people just assume it's weave, I don't care one way or the other if they think it is, and if someone asks about (or asks to touch my hair), I don't have a problem letting them know about what's going on with my hair, whether it's freshly relaxed, or in a braid out when I'm four months into a stretch.

It's because I specifically do this that I have been able to change the stereotypical assumptions that the people of other races I know have had about Black women and their hair. Being open to discuss all aspects of my hair with other races have enabled us to learn about our differences--and similarities--and even bond over the frivolous, yet meaningful topic of our hair and what it means to us as women in general, and people as a whole when I have talked about it with dudes.

 

[ckisland]

I can appreciate a good, realistic looking head of fake hair, but I do hate weaves and wigs. I kinda hate the long tail braid extensions now too. It's a crutch, a racial crutch. For no other group is it normal to attach fake hair to a child's head on a regular basis, nor is it normal for most of the women to be wearing fake hair . When I moved to a city with very few black people, I started to think more about how strange the weave/wig/braid thing is. No one else avoids doing their hair like black women do. Other women grow their hair out and get tired of doing it, but they don't go running to through bags or bundles of fake hair to completely cover their heads. I get the stigma. It sounds like something's wrong with your hair (it's so fragile that it can't survive in the world), or you're too lazy to do what's basic grooming to everyone else. It also used to bother me when people assumed that a black chick's hair was fake. Can't be mad though, because we did that to ourselves .
If I could have a vanish it wish list, it would be: weaves/wigs/braid extensions, bleach, and artificial tanning

 

[Lurkee]

What I'm curious about is why is it considered "line stepping" if you ask a black woman whether she's wearing weave or not, especially if the person wearing the weave loudly proclaims it's "just hair" or they are "protective styling" or "it's for convenience/versatility/options" and they're really tailbone length underneath the fake hair? Almost every non-Black woman I know who wears extensions (and proportionately speaking, there are A LOT LESS of them compared to Black people) has absolutely no problem telling you she is wearing weave or extensions (even if she is wearing them for alopecia/cancer reasons), and one woman even started taking them out in front of me to show them to me.

It seems Black women are the only ones as a group who refuse to discuss the nature of their hair, even when it's painfully obvious what's going on on their heads. Maybe there wouldn't be so many negative assumptions about how and why we wear weave if we as women weren't so reliant on it, and/or ashamed of, impatient with or plain hated what was underneath it. I have never worn weave, but now that my hair is at a length where when I wear it out, most people just assume it's weave, I don't care one way or the other if they think it is, and if someone asks about (or asks to touch my hair), I don't have a problem letting them know about what's going on with my hair, whether it's freshly relaxed, or in a braid out when I'm four months into a stretch.

It's because I specifically do this that I have been able to change the stereotypical assumptions that the people of other races I know have had about Black women and their hair. Being open to discuss all aspects of my hair with other races have enabled us to learn about our differences--and similarities--and even bond over the frivolous, yet meaningful topic of our hair and what it means to us as women in general, and people as a whole when I have talked about it with dudes.

Well said.

 

[Harina]

Am I the only one who doesn't notice black women's hair like that in general? It seems like everyone is constantly studying our heads It's rather annoying.