"THE CAVE".... How Does Your Man Act When He Goes In There?

[FunkyMunky]

I'm sure many of you have heard about "The Cave."

The place your SO's mind goes to when he seems distant and not 100% focused on you or your relationship. Sometimes, he may be focused on work/project, he may have an issue or problem he is trying to solve, he may be tired, he may need a break from the love and romance, etc...

During this period, a lot of women feel like their man don't care about them or the relationship, that something is wrong in the relationship, that they are working harder at keeping things together etc...

Then after he has had time to recuperate or whatever he comes out of the cave as if he was never gone. Acting sweet and romantic, feeling good again. :superman:

I am not referring to men that are cheating!

So, how does your man act when he goes into his cave and what does he do in your opinion that harms your relationship while he is in there.

Do you feel like you put more work into the relationship at that time?
Does he call less?
Does he text less?
Does he seem distracted?
Does he act like he is on his period?
Does he act like he is busy nearly every minute of the day? :dollar:
Does he seem to not really listen when you are talking?
Is he more irritable/argumentative?
Does he seem less interested in initiating sex? :work4sex:
Is he less attentive?
Does he start spending more time alone? :ban2:
Does he seem less motivated, lazy or depressed?
Does he spend more time with his friends or family?

Does he party for a few days as if he was a caged animal?

These are all examples abd this question applies to people living together and separately.

What does your man do while he is in the cave and how long does he usually stay in there?

 

[january noir]

My SO (we don't live together) doesn't call as often and when I do speak to him, it's just "hi, how are you?" He doesn't have a lot to say and he's quiet.

He works hard 6 days a week so I give him his space and peace. We both have been single and lived alone for so long (I am 49, he is 43) that we still both enjoy our "singleness" from time to time. It's nice to be apart so we can "rediscover" what we love about one another when we come back together.

When he does emerge from his Cave and we are together, he is more loving and excited to be around me. He is always appreciative and dedicated to the relationship and expresses that to me on the regular, but when he comes out of the Cave he is even more expressive and happy.

I realize that men need to Cave just like we need to go into the Well. I am in the Well now with a bad summer cold. Yuk!

Yes, I read Dr. Gray's book years ago. Gave a copy to one of my friends at work. She learned a lot and so did I when I read it...

 

[ThickHair]

Ex would go in his cave for a day or two and as our relationship got worse his cave days became longer. His last cave visit was for 2+ years, that is the amount of time it took for him to agree to divorce me. He is out now trying to get back in good with me but I have moved on. LOL

 

[Ms Red]

My SO will become concerned about projects at work or family issues but he has never gone into a 'cave' and tuned me out completely.

Our communication has become a lot better after some years and he is able to express himself "I'm really worried/concerned/angry/confused about X and I need some time to work it out/be by myself/talk it out with you/pray about it." I respect those boundaries. We still sometimes have slight misunderstandings but those are fewer now and we resolve them within a few minutes.

He still gives me all the attention I need and I am appreciative of that because I wouldn't like it if he got caught up in something and was emotionally distant.

 

[gone_fishing]

You guys are lucky. I wish my SO would find a cave to go into. Instead he prefers to make me suffer through his moodswing as I explained in another thread.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=136669&highlight=PMS