That's It!!! No More Salons!!!

[Alpha Female]

I went to the salon yesterday for my weekly wash & set. But the more I have learned from this site, and started to 'baby' my hair, AND seen progress in terms of growth, retaining length, thin hairline filling in, etc., the more I realize that the hairstylist's actions at the salon are working against me!!!! I do well all during the week with protective styles, gentle combing, etc., and hardly have any breakage, but by the time I get to the salon for my weekly wash & set, I lose a lot of strands with her detangling AND I see all these little broken hairs that night when I pin curl it to go to sleep AND the next morning when I'm gently combing it out. It's like she's negating all my hard work!!!

I think the way she shampoos me is actually CONTRIBUTING to the tangled hair, and thus more breakage. Plus, she likes to put me on high heat under the dryer. So then I find myself telling her what to do and what not to do, and then she appears to get frustrated at me (like why is this heifer telling me how to do my job?!), and then I get frustrated at the tangles, broken hairs, and feeling like I have to tell her how to do her job!!! I tell you - the whole experience has become quite distressing!

I figure if I'm just going to wear my hair in buns and other protective styles, why the heck am I going to her for a roller set?! And why the heck am I paying somebody to help me lose strands?! I don't need anybody working against me, negating all my hard work! I'm seeing progress with my own efforts at home, and could probably see more without the losses I experience by going to the salon!

Just curious...has anybody else experienced this, and decided you could keep more hair on your head by doing it yourself at home?!!!

 

[blue_flower]

In my opinion, there is a large segment of black hairstylist who know absolutely nothing about haircare despite their education and training. They still want to hang on to the old hair care tips they grew up with, which obviously don't work, but are still believed to work. And regardless what anyone says, black people have different hair textures and thickness, but there's this one-size-fits-all hair care mentality at the salons. From my experience, some of the hairdressers I went to had no idea what to do with my thick hair, whether it was short or long. They would use a skinny comb to detangle my hair, leaving the relaxer on longer, using extremely high heat, cutting instead of trimming. Instead of working *with* my hair, they worked *against* it and that's how you get the damage. I'm sure there are good hair stylist out there, but unfortanetly I haven't come across one. But I haven't been to a salon in over a year. I do my own hair.

 

[bgsix]

Sorry this is happening to you Alpha. It is so sickening to have all your hard work go down the drain. Perhaps you might want to find a new stylist or learn how to do things at home.

Luckily, I have a person that I can trust. Sometimes she does not want to deep condition.

Best wishes to you!

 

[hothair]

I went to the salon yesterday for my weekly wash & set. But the more I have learned from this site, and started to 'baby' my hair, AND seen progress in terms of growth, retaining length, thin hairline filling in, etc., the more I realize that the hairstylist's actions at the salon are working against me!!!! I do well all during the week with protective styles, gentle combing, etc., and hardly have any breakage, but by the time I get to the salon for my weekly wash & set, I lose a lot of strands with her detangling AND I see all these little broken hairs that night when I pin curl it to go to sleep AND the next morning when I'm gently combing it out. It's like she's negating all my hard work!!!

I think the way she shampoos me is actually CONTRIBUTING to the tangled hair, and thus more breakage. Plus, she likes to put me on high heat under the dryer. So then I find myself telling her what to do and what not to do, and then she appears to get frustrated at me (like why is this heifer telling me how to do my job?!), and then I get frustrated at the tangles, broken hairs, and feeling like I have to tell her how to do her job!!! I tell you - the whole experience has become quite distressing!

I figure if I'm just going to wear my hair in buns and other protective styles, why the heck am I going to her for a roller set?! And why the heck am I paying somebody to help me lose strands?! I don't need anybody working against me, negating all my hard work! I'm seeing progress with my own efforts at home, and could probably see more without the losses I experience by going to the salon!

Just curious...has anybody else experienced this, and decided you could keep more hair on your head by doing it yourself at home?!!!

Last time I was in a salon last year I got a 4-5inch "trim" and hair fried with a stove iron. Seeing that I just finally got over MY own scissor addiction there will be no one but me coming close to my head. I've even started doing my own weaves regularly and I'm pleased with my progress

 

[Energee]

Oh, I certainly understand you and I'm kind of in that mode of thinking right now myself.

Since I am more knowledgeable about my hair now I pay attention more when I am at the salon. I used to think my stylist was good. She is great at styling hair. She is great at cutting and you will leave the salon looking gorgeous. I never really paid attention to her techniques in the past because I didn't really care---so long as I came out looking good. I went to the salon weekly and spent a lot of time reading, listening to my Ipod, responding to business emails on my phone or going over paperwork. BIG MISTAKE! My stylist would turn me from the mirror...do her magic and I NEVER paid attention. I'd talk to her nearly the entire time but we'd discuss things other than hair.

I just realized that most of the time I went to her my hair was very short--above ear length and I kept it like that purposely because I liked the short cut and became comfortable with it after a while. I had that cut for years. Then when I decided I wanted a change I went with a sew in. She is also good at putting those in. I went to her for a total of 1.5 years BEFORE getting the weave and another year after getting the weave.

Anyway, I recently moved to a different state but still have to go back to my old state sometimes for business purposes. So I told her that I would still come back to her sometimes and especially if I didn't find a new stylist right away in our new area.

I went totally natural when I was in the weave so when she did my first relaxer in June (after taking my weave out) I didn't mind her pulling the relaxer through because I was basically virgin. My hair came out healthy and beautiful. I was very happy. She used the Mild Butter Blend Mizani system on my hair at that time. I went to her again for my retouch at the end of September because I was in that area for business. She started to do my hair. She didn't base my scalp. I prompted her to do so....lol. She did the first time so I don't know why she wouldn't this last time. She started to put the relaxer in..I asked to be turned facing the mirror to her amazement...lol. She was putting too much so I told her 'just the ng please'. She was about to pull that relaxer through my hair again!!! Thank heavens I was watching her! When she washed she only neutralized once! I asked her to please do it two more times at least. She did. I was being very nice but I was upset and decided right then in my head that I'd never come back to her again. When she put the conditioner in and Deep conditioned me under the dryer she wanted to 'trim' my hair. I asked her why?????? She said 'because you want your hair to keep growing and trimming really makes the hair grow'. I asked her if my hair needed to be trimmed (it did not because my ends are healthy). She said 'no, they look good but regular trimming makes the hair grow fast'. I said...'well, I don't want my hair trimmed at all..maybe I'll do it with my next retouch'. She looked a little annoyed....LOL. My hair came out well...thanks to me!...LOL

I just realized that she really doesn't know much about hair at all. No wonder most of her clients have short cuts and weaves. She's very talented in those areas but she's not good with healthy, longer hair.

 

[blackbarbie]

Girl go for it!

There is enough information on this board from a lot of knowledgeable women that you can learn to do anything to your hair (at home) that you want to.

There are some wonderful stylists out there, but as another poster mentioned, a lot of stylists still hold on to old misconceptions as well as old hair care practices and don't get the continuing education classes they need to keep up with the industry, so therefore, anything out of the norm for them (that you mention to them) seems very far fetched.

Take your haircare into your own hands and good luck.

BB

 

[lana]

For these reasons listed above and several other ones, I haven't been in a salon in over four years. My hair has flourished under my own hands. I've had setbacks and concerns but I decided early on that if anyone is going to make my hair grow it's got to be me...I also decided that if anyone was going to jack my hair up...it better be me. Thankfully, I've had really good results through trial and error - with the advice found on this board.

I even do my own trims!

 

[Katt73]

Just curious...has anybody else experienced this, and decided you could keep more hair on your head by doing it yourself at home?!!!

Heck, yes! Most of us on this board have experienced this!

I stopped going to salons for relaxers about a year ago (though I did treat myself to a salon retouch on my birthday and had mixed feelings about that). My biggest issues are just what you mentioned: rough combing and overlapping. And I'll be durned if I'm gonna pay someone big $$$ to damage all the hard work I've put in!

I have learned sooo much from reading other ladies' advice and experiences! Maybe I'm being arrogant, but I honestly believe I do better by my hair than any stylist I've ever been to...including the "good" ones.

 

[neonbright]

I feel you pain girl. With my DH being military I have to be more aggressive with every new stylist I have. I let them know my goals, my likes and dislikes. I also have certain products I like to bring to use in certain products I use in my hair, I ask if them if this is a problem and so far they have no problem with it and understand my hair goals.

 

[Tamrin]

Heck, yes! Most of us on this board have experienced this!

I stopped going to salons for relaxers about a year ago (though I did treat myself to a salon retouch on my birthday and had mixed feelings about that). My biggest issues are just what you mentioned: rough combing and overlapping. And I'll be durned if I'm gonna pay someone big $$$ to damage all the hard work I've put in!

I have learned sooo much from reading other ladies' advice and experiences! Maybe I'm being arrogant, but I honestly believe I do better by my hair than any stylist I've ever been to...including the "good" ones.

I agree with you. I baby my hair and use the best stuff. the minute those stylists see you, they are like you need a touch up. If you say no the are like "Oh its gonna start falling out".. yeah sure....slap on the leave-in put in in a wet bun, let me go home and rollerset my own damn hair.

 

[Evazhair]

You can do your own hair.You can find the same products she uses, or find better products for you (through pjism)! Just take your time and be gentle. Nobody will love your hair as much as you do. High heat on a dryer is a nono when you are relaxed.It is very true that the stylists can cause breakage/damage. A sure sign is when you know you are babying your hair and still not seeing progress, as I learned this May. I would only go for a touchup and trim as needed. If she ain't with it, or you feel you are being sabotaged, then run, don't walk to another stylist and let them know before they touch your head what you expect.

I went to the salon yesterday for my weekly wash & set. But the more I have learned from this site, and started to 'baby' my hair, AND seen progress in terms of growth, retaining length, thin hairline filling in, etc., the more I realize that the hairstylist's actions at the salon are working against me!!!! I do well all during the week with protective styles, gentle combing, etc., and hardly have any breakage, but by the time I get to the salon for my weekly wash & set, I lose a lot of strands with her detangling AND I see all these little broken hairs that night when I pin curl it to go to sleep AND the next morning when I'm gently combing it out. It's like she's negating all my hard work!!!

I think the way she shampoos me is actually CONTRIBUTING to the tangled hair, and thus more breakage. Plus, she likes to put me on high heat under the dryer. So then I find myself telling her what to do and what not to do, and then she appears to get frustrated at me (like why is this heifer telling me how to do my job?!), and then I get frustrated at the tangles, broken hairs, and feeling like I have to tell her how to do her job!!! I tell you - the whole experience has become quite distressing!

I figure if I'm just going to wear my hair in buns and other protective styles, why the heck am I going to her for a roller set?! And why the heck am I paying somebody to help me lose strands?! I don't need anybody working against me, negating all my hard work! I'm seeing progress with my own efforts at home, and could probably see more without the losses I experience by going to the salon!

Just curious...has anybody else experienced this, and decided you could keep more hair on your head by doing it yourself at home?!!!

 

[Energee]

Heck, yes! Most of us on this board have experienced this!

I stopped going to salons for relaxers about a year ago (though I did treat myself to a salon retouch on my birthday and had mixed feelings about that). My biggest issues are just what you mentioned: rough combing and overlapping. And I'll be durned if I'm gonna pay someone big $$$ to damage all the hard work I've put in!

I have learned sooo much from reading other ladies' advice and experiences! Maybe I'm being arrogant, but I honestly believe I do better by my hair than any stylist I've ever been to...including the "good" ones.

I don't think you are being arrogant at all. You are just being honest. I've received the same compliment from others in the past when I'd do my own hair. I also maintain my own hair between salon visits..then I just got very busy and started going to the salon every week. Before I would get more compliments when I did my own hair....many more.

I also hate when I feel like washing my hair after leaving the stylist. I had that feeling after my last retouch. I was out of town and don't like to wash my hair while in hotels....no hooded dryer...etc. So I just waited until I was back home and I washed it immediately. It looked nice but just didn't feel good. I'm good now...again, thanks to me!....LOL Even my husband says I do my hair better than the stylist.

I didn't even tip my stylist well this last time. I'm sure she knew something was wrong because I always have tipped her very well.

 

[scorpian]

I read in someone's fotki that stylists are basically trained to style your hair but that the health of your hair is really up to you and in most of the salons that I've been to this seems to be true. When I was going to the salon my hair was thriving but I took my own shampoo and conditioner and I asked my stylist what she was using on my hair I would have her hand me the bottles and I would read labels before she used it. It pissed her off but oh well.

My mistake was getting too comfortable and trusting that she wouldn't switch up relaxers during t-up time. She put a perm in my hair that had my scalp on fire and it was all downhill from there... I had to nurture my own hair back to health and now I do it myself.

 

[Soliel185]

I agree with you. I baby my hair and use the best stuff. the minute those stylists see you, they are like you need a touch up. If you say no the are like "Oh its gonna start falling out".. yeah sure....slap on the leave-in put in in a wet bun, let me go home and rollerset my own damn hair.

I don't know what is up with this. I went to the salon at 16 wks post to get my hair braided and she tells me - "If you don't get a relaxer soon it'll all break off." Um...maybe I'm wrong, but if I've been taking care of it like this for 4 months and it hasn't broken off, do you really think I'm going to wake up tomorrow bald? Just maybe MAYBE I know what the *(&%$* I'm doing?? Why do they think a relaxer is the end all be all for every hair problem?

Also - they constantly tell me my hair is "dry" b/c I don't use grease, or because I wash ever 3-4 days. And they'll be steady standing there with some jacked up semi shaved cut and a skunk strip of color. I just don't get it.

 

[Energee]

Oh goodness...Now that you mentioned grease I remember going to a stylist long ago in the past. She gave me a lopsided haircut...and my hair was already short (I didn't notice until I got home)...LOL (funny now but I was then). Then when she finished my hair she opened up a jar of Blue Magic....LOL and proceeded to rub a huge dollop of it between her hands and 'wiped' it over my hair...then gave me the mirror like "tah-dah".....LOL I have no idea why on earth she put that grease over my finished hair!!! until this day...LOL. It looked 'shiny' that's for sure...LOL. I guess she ran out of 'oil sheen'....lol. Needless to say I went home and washed my hair right away and never went back again.

 

[blazingthru]

I have done that, I have washed my hair and restyled it right after coming from the salon. I have always, always put in my own relaxer. I just have always done it. When we first got a relaxers my aunt would put it in and when I got older I just always did it but I always went to the salon for everything else. When I joined LHCF I stopped going to salons. I haven't been (except to the Dominicans, and I did that only once) in two years. I stopped going Oct 2005. that was it. NO more feeling bad about letting them have their way with my hair.

 

[cocosweet]

For the most part, hair stylists for are just that. Stylists. They are not about managing the health of the hair. It's all about getting it to look a certain way which is why so many of them shout "trim" whenever they see ends that aren't absolutely blunt. Ends are the oldest part of your hair; even if they aren't split they're not going to stay blunt indefinitely.

Heaven forbid you have natural hair. Then its attacked and beat into submission then they have the audacity to tell you it damaged. I guess so!

 

[ravenmerlita]

Just curious...has anybody else experienced this, and decided you could keep more hair on your head by doing it yourself at home?!!!

I have definitely experienced this. My hair looks better and is healther than it has ever been in my adult life and it is all because I do almost everything myself.

 

[Hair Iam]

Heck, yes! Most of us on this board have experienced this!

I stopped going to salons for relaxers about a year ago (though I did treat myself to a salon retouch on my birthday and had mixed feelings about that). My biggest issues are just what you mentioned: rough combing and overlapping. And I'll be durned if I'm gonna pay someone big $$$ to damage all the hard work I've put in!

I have learned sooo much from reading other ladies' advice and experiences! Maybe I'm being arrogant, but I honestly believe I do better by my hair than any stylist I've ever been to...including the "good" ones.

WHAT SHE SAID

 

[atemeus_itali]

Also - they constantly tell me my hair is "dry" b/c I don't use grease, or because I wash ever 3-4 days. And they'll be steady standing there with some jacked up semi shaved cut and a skunk strip of color. I just don't get it.

Lol! girl you are a trip. I kind of feel bad and now everyone is making me feel worse about my retouch next thursday. I'll be 10 weeks post. My stylist is good but kind of old school. She gives really straight relaxers but before coming to LHCF, I never really cared to pay attention to what she did. I noticed after my last relaxer my hair was shedding like gangbusters and I figure it's because it was overprocessed. I started using the Aphogee treatment and will start using the 2 minute reconstructor. I actually do have some split ends so I do need a bit of a trim but I'll ask her how much of a trim she thinks I need. However, she knows I'm sensitive about getting my hair cut so she's never gone crazy or anything. I'm still kind of sad about getting it cut at all since my hair has really grown in the last 6 weeks of finding LHCF & taking care of my hair. In the end I want to be able to self-relax to make sure I'm not overprocessing but I'm so scared I'm gonna screw it up. So I just have to start researching and make sure I know what I'm doing. Besides that's $65-70 I'll save every couple of months!