tberry2688
New Member
how do you stop yourself ffrom texting an ex when tthe urge to do so is strong even though you kno he has moved on and didnt treat u right anyway? The pms isnt helpn haha
texting or calling an ex
- Thread starter tberry2688
- Start date
Country gal
Well-Known Member
it is really hard. Stay strong. If u chase a cat it will run. If u stand still it will come up 2 u for affection.
HoneyDew
Well-Known Member
Girl been there.
And don't get me started on the stuff I send if I been drinking.
You know what has helped me - reminding myself what it is that I want.
I make a list of the things I need and want out of a relationship. No half stepping either. I put it all down there.
Then I look at him. Can he give me what i really need? Why are we not together? Are there things that I WILL NOT TOLERATE that he does? Will he ever change?
It helps me realize that ultimately it is better that I step back.
But LAWD it is hard when I think about how he smells, and how it feels when he would hold me, and the comfort I felt with him.
I have to set that mess aside and go look at my list.
But, in emergency times, like PMS - when that list ain't a BIT OF HELP, a different course of action is required.
I date. I know when I am going to be in emotional text radar mode and try to schedule dates around that time. I mean, I actually look for plays and concerts, or a new restaurant or something that will take my mind off of him.
My friends can help, too. I plan things with them around pms time.
You still end up coming home after the date or time with your friends, often feeling lonely and wanting your man back.
After a few slip ups and sending texts that should have never been sent, TIME is what finally sealed the deal for me. I just learned how to let it go. And it gets easier and easier.
Sorry this is so long.
And don't get me started on the stuff I send if I been drinking.
You know what has helped me - reminding myself what it is that I want.
I make a list of the things I need and want out of a relationship. No half stepping either. I put it all down there.
Then I look at him. Can he give me what i really need? Why are we not together? Are there things that I WILL NOT TOLERATE that he does? Will he ever change?
It helps me realize that ultimately it is better that I step back.
But LAWD it is hard when I think about how he smells, and how it feels when he would hold me, and the comfort I felt with him.
I have to set that mess aside and go look at my list.
But, in emergency times, like PMS - when that list ain't a BIT OF HELP, a different course of action is required.
I date. I know when I am going to be in emotional text radar mode and try to schedule dates around that time. I mean, I actually look for plays and concerts, or a new restaurant or something that will take my mind off of him.
My friends can help, too. I plan things with them around pms time.
You still end up coming home after the date or time with your friends, often feeling lonely and wanting your man back.
After a few slip ups and sending texts that should have never been sent, TIME is what finally sealed the deal for me. I just learned how to let it go. And it gets easier and easier.
Sorry this is so long.
Last edited:
HoneyDew
Well-Known Member
This reminds me of this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-iHRJMWAKY
Incognito - "Can't get you out of My Head"
Incognito - "Can't get you out of My Head"
tberry2688
New Member
Thank you both so much. we havent spoke in a couple weeks and is a little harder than usual because he is with someone else and im not.I think im going to go out more this weekend because i get really sad on weekends bc i have more time to think since i dont have class or work. i know time will help, i already feel much better than i did. and that song is definately fitting
ThatJerseyGirl
Well-Known Member
delete his number(s) - out of sight, out of mind.
think of the reasons why you guys broke up to begin with. if he has moved on, i wouldn't play myself and text/call him. for what? more heartache? ur already pms'n and the last thing you need is to get your feelings hurt again...or worse, his girl or whoever may either answer ur call or respond to ur text. u don't need the drama. if u contact him, then the ball is in his court and now u have opened the floodgates to let him treat u any ole kinda way, and not the way you DESERVE to be treated.
also, sometimes when u reach out to an ex who has moved on like he has, 1) to him, it shows that you are still stuck on him and have not moved on, 2) it boosts his ego and to him, you look silly, and 3) ur playin urself.
having said all of that, leave it alone. should he decide to contact you, then the ball is in ur court...then u can dribble his azzz anyway u want. but for now, don't let him live rent free in ur mind or ur heart. he should be thinkin about you, not the other way around. i've said this before... we have the most powerful thing on this earth...our minds, puddi (yea, i said it cuz its true), and our hearts. don't give those precious things away so freely to someone who is not deserving of it. always put yourself on a pedestal because your smarter than that.
when ur cycle passes, so will the urge to call him.
think of the reasons why you guys broke up to begin with. if he has moved on, i wouldn't play myself and text/call him. for what? more heartache? ur already pms'n and the last thing you need is to get your feelings hurt again...or worse, his girl or whoever may either answer ur call or respond to ur text. u don't need the drama. if u contact him, then the ball is in his court and now u have opened the floodgates to let him treat u any ole kinda way, and not the way you DESERVE to be treated.
also, sometimes when u reach out to an ex who has moved on like he has, 1) to him, it shows that you are still stuck on him and have not moved on, 2) it boosts his ego and to him, you look silly, and 3) ur playin urself.
having said all of that, leave it alone. should he decide to contact you, then the ball is in ur court...then u can dribble his azzz anyway u want. but for now, don't let him live rent free in ur mind or ur heart. he should be thinkin about you, not the other way around. i've said this before... we have the most powerful thing on this earth...our minds, puddi (yea, i said it cuz its true), and our hearts. don't give those precious things away so freely to someone who is not deserving of it. always put yourself on a pedestal because your smarter than that.
when ur cycle passes, so will the urge to call him.
Country gal
Well-Known Member
Most of your post was on point. I had to highlight this part. I know it is hard OP. I keep my friends close to me for sanity. They remind why I shouldn't call. LHCF is a nice distraction. This weekend I am going out. If my friends don't want to hang than I am going out to a bar all dolled up just so I can feel like I did something. You should too.
Similar threads
