Texting as only means communication

[WhoIAm]

This is really starting to bug me.

If I exchange numbers with a guy, I expect phone calls and texts occasionally. Don't text me to make plans for a date. Call me. We can use texts to confirm.

Don't text me "wyd" as your first contact for the day. WTF am I supposed to do with that? For all I know that message went out to your "Women" distribution list. I've started ignoring them. And the repeat offenders, I've put SPAM in front of their names. I've also started telling "new recruits" my preference up front. If you can't CALL me, you don't get my number.

Maybe that's the way things work nowadays, but these are men >35. They should know better. I know they dated before texting became common.

Help me. I am so annoyed and I need to know it's not just me. You can also tell me if I am being uptight and if there's a better way to handle this. Thanks.

 

[faithVA]

I think you are handling it well. Definitely tell them up front. This new texting game has not age limit. Men in their fifties are trying to do this stuff. It has to do with the caliber of the guy and not his age.

I don't even know what "wyd" is

I ignore people who abuse texting. And before I was in a relationship I would not go out with a guy who tried to arrange anything by texting.

So stick to your standards and let them know up front.

 

[ladylibra_30]

WYD = What You Doing? (I'm just guessing)

 

[faithVA]

WYD = What You Doing? (I'm just guessing)

Thanks. Yeah, we wouldn't last long. I don't have time to learn a new language

 

[ivyness]

You need us to confirm something you clearly already know? 35+?

 

[ThickHair]

Dont repond is all. IF they want to talk to you they will call.

 

[amwcah]

Yeah, I don't have time for that either.

I have a male friend who prefers texting vs. phone calls. Eventually, I stopped texting and then I began receiving text messages from him saying, "I hope you are okay." I'm thinking. Really? Why don't you just call to find out? Weird!

 

[crlsweetie912]

LOL, that used to bother me so much. But it's the norm. There was a whole thread about people not liking to talk on the phone! Yeah, you gotta let them know up front!!!!

 

[amwcah]

View attachment 200547

You need us to confirm something you clearly already know? 35+?

I'm thinking not so much. Sometimes people just want confirmation for their thoughts and actions to make sure they aren't the odd one. At least, I do.

 

[amwcah]

Yeah, I don't have time for that either.

I have a male friend who prefers texting vs. phone calls. Eventually, I stopped texting and then I began receiving text messages from him saying, "I hope you are okay." I'm thinking. Really? Why don't you just call to find out? Weird!

OMG!!!! The guy just texted me I was referring to saying, "How have you been?"

 

[WhoIAm]

View attachment 200547

You need us to confirm something you clearly already know? 35+?

If times change you can adjust or get left behind. We've all done that for a lot of things. Even my mother has started sending me texts instead of calling me. It's a valid question.

 

[MzLady78]

Dont repond is all. IF they want to talk to you they will call.

Yep.

But also look out for any red flags, a lot of texting can also mean he's taken.

 

[PeaceFlow]

While the thought of men who seem allergic to vowels, spell badly, or use abbreviations in that way makes my blood run cold, I don't have a problem with texting/emails.

I prefer face to face for talking these days. Wasn't always the case, but I just can't stand the phone anymore. I don't really talk to SO on the phone much. We kinda had to make a conscious effort to do that more when apart. Texting suits me better.

Half assed messages, long gaps and men who refuse to ever call after mutual attraction is established would annoy me.

 

[NOEChic]

I like to text and prefer texting over talking on the phone. I text my bf all day everyday. We have full conversations and arguments in text. Hundreds of text per day.

 

[Bublin]

I agree that I don't mind texting to a certain extent but when you get is one word, very single day it just grates and I stop replying.

For example this guy texts me 'Morning' every morning for the last 3 days. It's now creeping me out because I don't mind, 'Good Morning, I hope you have a nice day' but just one word is just weird. When I did reply, I would reply in full with correct spelling and he would send as text that was about 4 words long all in text speak.

Bare in mind we've had one very nice, intelligent conversation but haven't met yet. Ever since that convo he has started sending creepy texts. Our first date is supposed to be on Saturday but right now I just can't. He has put me off.

 

[NOEChic]

I agree that I don't mind texting to a certain extent but when you get is one word, very single day it just grates and I stop replying.

For example this guy texts me 'Morning' every morning for the last 3 days. It's now creeping me out because I don't mind, 'Good Morning, I hope you have a nice day' but just one word is just weird. When I did reply, I would reply in full with correct spelling and he would send as text that was about 4 words long all in text speak.

Bare in mind we've had one very nice, intelligent conversation but haven't met yet. Ever since that convo he has started sending creepy texts. Our first date is supposed to be on Saturday but right now I just can't. He has put me off.

I don't do text talk. I will tell anyone quick, we won't be talking very long in text if you can use real words and their correct spelling.

 

[melissa-bee]

Before now I didn't know what "wyd" meant. I wouldn't have replied because I would have thought he was sitting on his phone and accidentally messaged me.

 

[JustifiablyMe]

I agree that I don't mind texting to a certain extent but when you get is one word, very single day it just grates and I stop replying.

For example this guy texts me 'Morning' every morning for the last 3 days. It's now creeping me out because I don't mind, 'Good Morning, I hope you have a nice day' but just one word is just weird. When I did reply, I would reply in full with correct spelling and he would send as text that was about 4 words long all in text speak.

Bare in mind we've had one very nice, intelligent conversation but haven't met yet. Ever since that convo he has started sending creepy texts. Our first date is supposed to be on Saturday but right now I just can't. He has put me off.

Bublin What creepy things?

I'm going through something similar with someone I'm corresponding with from OKC. We've been texting all day for the past few days which I didn't have a problem with but around 10 pm, I asked him if he can call me at 11 and initially he said yes but then replied that he was tired and will call tomorrow. Then this ninja had the nerve to ask me to send him a sexy goodnight pic. erplexed I didn't even respond.

Of course the next day comes and he didn't call. He text me today saying he fell asleep. I'm going to give him until tonight to call (and I'm thinking even that may be too much) and if he doesn't I'm officially curving him.

 

[gabulldawg]

Sounds like you've got a good plan going. If you don't like it then don't entertain it. That should weed out those who aren't on the same page as you. Dh and I texted a LOT when we first started dating. We rarely called each other! We barely do now! But that works for us. I was glad to find someone on the same page as me.

 

[RocStar]

This is really starting to bug me.

If I exchange numbers with a guy, I expect phone calls and texts occasionally. Don't text me to make plans for a date. Call me. We can use texts to confirm.

Don't text me "wyd" as your first contact for the day. WTF am I supposed to do with that? For all I know that message went out to your "Women" distribution list. I've started ignoring them. And the repeat offenders, I've put SPAM in front of their names. I've also started telling "new recruits" my preference up front. If you can't CALL me, you don't get my number.

Maybe that's the way things work nowadays, but these are men >35. They should know better. I know they dated before texting became common.

Help me. I am so annoyed and I need to know it's not just me. You can also tell me if I am being uptight and if there's a better way to handle this. Thanks.

Have you told him how you feel? That is probably where I would start.

 

[WhoIAm]

Have you told him how you feel? That is probably where I would start.

These are different guys.

Since we're just in the initial stage of trying communication, I'm not sure if that's something I need to tell them. They should already know.

Typically, I'd just go silent on them without saying anything. But I'm trying a different approach.

 

[VelvetRain]

Yep.

But also look out for any red flags, a lot of texting can also mean he's taken.

More often then not it means he want's to take that trip to smashville. There is no need to actually have a phone conversation if that is all he wants. Men who are genuinely will interested in you will call. Texting all the time and rarely calling is a sign he's only interested in sex and your cue to keep it moving. Someone is getting actual phone calls and not only texts.

Stop telling these men anything and just observe there actions and that will tell you all you really need to know.

 

[Bublin]

Bublin What creepy things?

I'm going through something similar with someone I'm corresponding with from OKC. We've been texting all day for the past few days which I didn't have a problem with but around 10 pm, I asked him if he can call me at 11 and initially he said yes but then replied that he was tired and will call tomorrow. Then this ninja had the nerve to ask me to send him a sexy goodnight pic. erplexed I didn't even respond.

Of course the next day comes and he didn't call. He text me today saying he fell asleep. I'm going to give him until tonight to call (and I'm thinking even that may be too much) and if he doesn't I'm officially curving him.

JustifiablyMe Everything is a red flag to me or creeps me out
Four days ago we had a nice conversation on the phone. Ever since then he texts 'Morning' and the texts are getting earlier and earlier, this morning is was at 7am. The texts consist of nothing more. They do not encourage conversation so after 2 days I stopped responding. He will also text 'Good Evening'. I will respond with a full answer and he responds with, 'I'm good' erplexed.
To me it's creepy.
Just now, in the Single Thread I wrote that I text him with everything that I thought and straightaway his texts changed. I don't know what that is all about but I think men get nervous and also lazy - like they think they've already 'got' you just because you agreed to a date.

 

[Incognitus]

I agree that I don't mind texting to a certain extent but when you get is one word, very single day it just grates and I stop replying.

For example this guy texts me 'Morning' every morning for the last 3 days. It's now creeping me out because I don't mind, 'Good Morning, I hope you have a nice day' but just one word is just weird. When I did reply, I would reply in full with correct spelling and he would send as text that was about 4 words long all in text speak.

Bare in mind we've had one very nice, intelligent conversation but haven't met yet. Ever since that convo he has started sending creepy texts. Our first date is supposed to be on Saturday but right now I just can't. He has put me off.

Bublin
Girl, imagine getting a text that said: GM wyd i wana c u dis wknd
Just like that. No real words, heck, not even a comma or a period or a dash...

 

[Bublin]

I had already decided not to go on the date planned for this afternoon but I hadn't told him yet. He hammered the last nail in the coffin when for the 5th morning in a row he text his one word message of 'Hello'.
I text him back, 'I don't think we are going to get on. I won't be meeting you this afternoon. I wish you all the best'. Thank goodness he didn't reply.

 

[Bublin]

Bublin
Girl, imagine getting a text that said: GM wyd i wana c u dis wknd
Just like that. No real words, heck, not even a comma or a period or a dash...

Not one real word

 

[Incognitus]

Not one real word

I didn't bother replying. That along with him pronouncing the word "your" as "yo" (ex. Did you get yo car back from the dealer today). It simply irks me. Call it a pet peeve if you may, but I cannot focus on a conversation with such distractions.

 

[MuziqizLyfe]

I wouldn't use a mode of communication to determine a person's interest or intentions. You can have quality conversation via txt but if that's not your thing, its not your thing.

I told my friend upfront I prefer txting & it has worked out well for us. We txt daily (and just for anecdotal evidence, we have been txting as main mode of communication for months and haven't smashed yet )