Teenagers and relaxers

[GodMadeMePretty]

I have a question for you guys. Before beginning my quest to learn how to take care of my daughter's natural hair, I knew next to nothing about hair and haircare. I especially didn't think about the damage that relaxers could case. (It's a chemical, duh!). I truly never really thought about it. Now I think I know more than most of the stylists out there.

Anyway, my question is: Would you, now that you have the knowledge that you have, allow your teenager to get serviced without you there? My stepdaughter wants to get her hair done before she goes to her mother's for part of the summer but she has waited until now to talk about it and she is leaving on Friday. My fear is that they will try to talk her into *trimming* her hair which will wind up being a haircut. She does not speak up for herself very much. I'm also fearful of what they will say in terms of her having 5 months of new growth. I'm also afraid of hair envy. I don't like the salon her father chose for a number of reasons that I won't go into, but because of my reservations about them, I don't want her there alone. The shop isn't open past 5 and I already had plans to do other things at my daughter's school so I can't really go.

Should I allow her to go it alone and have a personal telephone conversation with the stylist telling her exactly what I want done and subtly letting her know that I know more about her hair than she can possibly know having only seen her once? What would you do?

 

[ms_kenesha]

[ QUOTE ]
GodMadeMePretty said:
I have a question for you guys. Before beginning my quest to learn how to take care of my daughter's natural hair, I knew next to nothing about hair and haircare. I especially didn't think about the damage that relaxers could case. (It's a chemical, duh!). I truly never really thought about it. Now I think I know more than most of the stylists out there.

Anyway, my question is: Would you, now that you have the knowledge that you have, allow your teenager to get serviced without you there? My stepdaughter wants to get her hair done before she goes to her mother's for part of the summer but she has waited until now to talk about it and she is leaving on Friday. My fear is that they will try to talk her into *trimming* her hair which will wind up being a haircut. She does not speak up for herself very much. I'm also fearful of what they will say in terms of her having 5 months of new growth. I'm also afraid of hair envy. I don't like the salon her father chose for a number of reasons that I won't go into, but because of my reservations about them, I don't want her there alone. The shop isn't open past 5 and I already had plans to do other things at my daughter's school so I can't really go.

Should I allow her to go it alone and have a personal telephone conversation with the stylist telling her exactly what I want done and subtly letting her know that I know more about her hair than she can possibly know having only seen her once? What would you do?

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DO NOT LET HER GO ALONE!!!

I say this esp. since she won't speak up for herself. I was that teenager and my hair went through some serious trials and tribulations because of idiot stylists. Esp. with 5 months new growth, they'll get relaxer happy and put that relaxer from root to tip!

Maybe there is another salon she can go to that you'd trust better as well as be able to oversee the application.

Oh, my lil sister who is 16 had been getting her hair done at this salon and my mom would tell them what to do and leave her there (my sis is extremely shy) and now her hair is coming out in long strands like shedding, but it's breakage from the NEW GROWTH down!!! She has pathces in the middle of her head that are less than 1/4 inch and my mom had to take her to our old and old-school stylist who gave her an aphogee treatment, trimmed her hair, and styled her hair to camoflouge the breakage (spiral curls). She said the other stylist had been SEVERLY over-processing her hair!

 

[Poohbear]

IMHO, the best thing to do is to go with your daughter. If she doesnt speak up for herself that much and you dont want her hair screwed up, please go! Since she is a teenager, most of the time they are more vulnerable to whatever that stylist might say. For example, if the stylist says "You have split ends, you need to get them cut before they mess up your hair. Cutting will make your hair grow." That is an honest lie. If she has new growth, they might encourage her to get it relaxed and tell her how much straighter and more beautiful her hair will be after the relaxer. Who knows but I would definitely go with her if you care. Talking on the phone with the stylist might be okay but I dont know if it will be as effective as going in with your daughter to see whats going on. HTH! God bless!

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

Thank you, ladies. She doesn't think it's a big deal. She said that if her mother took her that she would just leave her there. BUT her mother isn't going to win any awards for being the most attentive parent of the year.

 

[Tai]

I agree go with her or choose another shop with a stylist there that you trust. I'd hate to see her end up overprocessed or butchered by an SHS. If she doesn't speak up for herself, her hair could end up damaged in such a way that it could take years for it and her to recover. Go with your first instinct. You have your reservations about that stylist for a reason.

 

[chicamorena]

Please don't let her go alone!!!!! My godsister went to get her hair done at the hairdresser and the hairdresser chopped about 8 inches of her hair off. She made some ridiculous excuse about her ends being too uneven. I was so mad

 

[NewlyNature12]

Definitely go with her. I'm just now (since coming to this site)getting up my nerve to absolutely stand my ground with stylists, and I remember hating it when my mom left me there alone. I have lost inches off of my hair due to stylists "trimming" my ends. She'll thank you for it later!

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

We've decided to take her back to the stylist she had prior to their move here. It's an hour and 15 minutes away, but at least I trust her. She's a natural head herself from the Caribbean. And she does exactly what we ask her to do. That's where she will be going from now on. But I am glad I imposed the 3-month minimum rule. Because gas is not cheap.

Thanks, ladies.

 

[pookeylou]

Good choice. My mom took me on my first visit and gave specific instructions to the stylist (she basically put the fear of God in the lady) she left me and the stylist did exactly what my mother told her to do. My mom emphasized that I would begin getting my hair taken care of regularly..but if the stylist proved untrustworthy...then we will not come back and we will express our dissapointment to any and all we meet.

If the stylist wants repeat business...they will listen to the parent and do exactly what the parent request.