Taking down braids after three years

EbonyHairedPrincess

EbonyHairedPrincess

New Member
I need some advice and I welcome all thoughts or suggestions you have. My daughter is 15 and wants to relax her BSL, completely virgin hair in June. She’s had braided extensions almost continuously for three years and I am VERY nervous on how to prepare her hair for the relaxer. She plays volleyball year round and her only break come in June then starts back up Mid August. She’s adamant that she keep it braided until after the season ends because of her sweating and constant showers plus it’s a super low maintenance. She wants her hair relaxed mostly straight.

Currently she uses leave in conditioners and braid sprays to protect her stands while in braids. My plan is to do 2-3x a week co-washes and weekly light protein for a month, and then relax. What do you think?
 
I think that for the most part, relaxed people will say it's fine to relax it, and natural people will say don't relax it.

I say don't relax it, but I understand that with volleyball, it's going to be hard to keep it straight during future seasons without the chemicals.
No matter what you decide, be very careful with it. Good luck!
 
^LOL@ naturallylovely!
I think maybe one of the relaxed ladies who works out constantly can give some advice on her hair.
 
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With the amount of activity she is involved it I would say no relaxer. I am currently relaxed and work out at least three times a week; and I don't know where I would be without braids. With my braids I can wash my hair without worrying about styling, etc. It gets tricky when I am out of braids and have to wash my relaxed hair multiple times a week because of the perspiration. If I could go back I would have kept the natural hair which isn't as fragile and quite prone to breakage.
 
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I know, believe me I have told her to think about it. Her hair is so beautiful natural. We tried flat ironing then doing a high bun for volleyball but she was a hot mess when she got home.
 
Lusa said:
With the amount of activity she is involved it I would say no relaxer. I am currently relaxed and work out at least three times a week; and I don't know where I would be with braids. With my braids I can wash my hair without worrying about styling, etc. It gets tricky when I am out of braids and have to wash my relaxed hair multiple times a week because of the perspiration. If I could go back I would have kept the natural hair which isn't as fragile and quite prone to breakage.
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Okay I am going to have her read this post to see what you ladies are saying.
 
what about fake straight weave/microbraids?
You weave up the whole head and then leave a portion of the front braided so it looks like microbraids throughout the head without the damage, but still the straight effect.
 
I say she should leave it natural because for one its really becoming the style now a days and she already has the length. So while she plays volley ball she can wear her hair in a natural ponytail or others styles, and when she wants to go out or for something specail she can straighten it. Also she might not want to deal with touch ups and all that other stuff, and also some peoples hair cannot take a perm like mine and if it breaks i know it will break her heart. I had got a relaxer after reading cathy howse book and lurking on here and i thought well because i know how to care for it, it will grow, i did everything right and yet it still broke as it did all the times before. so now i am starting over when i could of just worked with what i already had.

So before she goes and do it just ask her is it a decision she will not regret no matter what happens...just give her a chance to enjoy her natural hair, and if she doesn't like it than let her hair get strong enough and than relax it

Sew ins can also be a nice alternative
 
I understand where your daughter is coming from. I was loced for years, cut them off and decided that I would just go natural and loose. But I run almost every day and had to usaually wear twists. But I liked wearing my hair straight when I went to church or outings. Pressing/flat ironing my hair regularly caused more damage than relaxing (ends where gone). So I opted to go back to a relaxer. I found this website and am managing to keep my relaxed hair healthy.

If she's not one to wear it straight but a few times a year, keeping it natural may be a better option. But if her intent is to come out of the braids and wear it straight a lot, relaxing would probably be a better option than applying heat often. I still run, but wash frequently and when I want it straight, I don't have to apply heat, just use the cross wrap method and I'm good.
 
I saw its better to learn how do deal with natural hair while working out than to relax it. The problems won't go away by relaxing it..your hair still gets messed up with swear and you have to keep on top of it even more.
trying to find products and styles that work for active people would be the better solution in my opinion
 
sweetwhispers said:
what about fake straight weave/microbraids?
You weave up the whole head and then leave a portion of the front braided so it looks like microbraids throughout the head without the damage, but still the straight effect.
Click to expand...

I've never heard of this before. I will look into it.

SSBD I agree with what your saying. My worst fear is her hair breaking off after all the care that has been put into it.
 
I saw somebody getting it done at the hairdressers. You can also braid the first row at the back of the head and the first row at the front so it can be worn in a pony tale. I will try and find out the exact name of the style. Apparently many women who wear microbraids don't really have microbraids they do the above, i think its ingenious and much less damaging.
 
If I had it all over to do again I would have pried that relaxer brush out of my mamas hand when I first got it done!

Tell her to think long and hard about it. What about just textlaxing it? That would provide her some more manageability without the total straightening.

Also one of my favorite volleyball looks was two french braids. She can then wash and condition her hair with the braids still in.
 
protein is good because continuous braids tend to thin the hair and make the strands weaker. but please make sure you do a strand test to a small patch of hair before you apply the chemicals all over. you don't want to find out the hard way (as I once did) that chemicals make weakened hair break off as if you had put nair on your head. wait awhile to see if the section starts to break or has any other issues.
 
I didn't get my first relaxer until I was 21, since both of my parents are both anti-processing for hair. I'm happy I waited cause I now realize there's no way I could have afforded to keep up that relaxer in high school or in college. However as someone who loves wearing straight styles, I do love the flexibility that having a relaxer gives me. And I do think that relaxed hair is just as beautiful as natural hair and much easier to take care of, but I'd really like to go back natural one day. I'd say just make sure she knows what she's getting into. There are so many differences with caring for natural and relaxed hair that I had no idea about. I just figured you relax it and its straight you don't have to do anything else.
 
I think anyone can have healthy hair relaxed or natural. It's about the maintenance that we put into our hair. I think if someone is active in working out or in sports, they may wash and style more. ( :) Braids help so much) I say you should ask her to wear her hair out natural for maybe a month. She might want to try different cute styles. If she doesn't like it then she should relax and rock it beautifully. If she is relaxed it would be easier for her to wear it strait and not have to worry about it snatchin back. It doesn't matter if she is relaxed or natural as long as she has a routine that works for her. :cry: I wish I had someone in my life when I was in high school to help me maintain my dry broken off hair.
 
naturallylovely said:
CONVINCE HER NOT TO RELAX!!! I know that's kinda biased of me though...sorry I can't offer any advice :look:
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Ditto! I have always worn braids and in order to get my hair straight i have to relax it back to back at least 3 times. It just isn't worth the trouble if she is going to put her hair back in braids.
 
Ok my two cents. I have not been natural since I was 12 years. However, I understand about the versatility of relaxed hair and this is probably what she is looking for. If you cannot convince her otherwise I think is is a good idea to relax because she has you to help her maintain and to learn how to care for this. That way she developes healthy habits because you are there. It is better that years after when she leaves home she gets it relaxed and has no guidance regarding how to care for it which happened to most of us. Our parents did not know so could not teach us. She has you to guide her. That is the upside.

Jo
 
I love you guys so much :) . I think it’s a good idea to give her at least a month before I let her relax. I am texlaxed. I think I am going to keep encouraging her to stay natural but if she insists on relaxing, I think I will insist she get texlaxed. Keep the comments coming, I know she will love you guys looking out for her and offering her advice.
 
Ebony, I want to cry everyday when I see my 12 yr olds BEAUTIFULLY THICK, dry, hair. I really believe that having the relaxer makes her want to wear it down more often (big girl styles) & even though she knows about moisture and CW and protective styles SHE'S STILL 12! Over time, Nia's APL hair has gone to about 2-3" below her shoulders. Maybe you could find some really cute celeb pics with texlaxed hair and show her how much more versatile it is. My 8yr old's hair is curly when wet and straight with a rollerset. GOOD LUCK!
 
I believe that one can have healthy natural or relaxed hair. She could just wear a bun with her natural hair while playing volleyball. Nothing wrong with buns. If she gets it relaxed, she can still wear a bun. She can bun it during games and practice, and wear it down the other times if she'd like. All she has to do is, wash, condition, roll, dry, and sweep into a bun.
 
I am curious to know at what length did she start to wear the braids back to back and at what length did the hair grow to when stretched? bonjour
 
i guess the best way to decided is by understanding WHY she wants to relax. if she is going to stay in braids, i don't really see why she should relax. however, if she's wanting to wear her hair in straight styles more often, then yes, i think it makes more sense to relax.

i was very active in high school too... marching band, pep band, winter guard, track and field, and dance. i had relaxed/textlaxed hair, which i attempted to wear straight most of the time... meaning i used heat EVERY SINGLE DAY on my hair. :perplexed hence why by the time i neared APL my hair was full of dry, nasty split ends and i'd do a major chop every spring. something to think about if she is going to relax...

both options have their pros and cons. tell her to weigh them carefully before deciding... :look:
 
naturallylovely said:
CONVINCE HER NOT TO RELAX!!! I know that's kinda biased of me though...sorry I can't offer any advice :look:
Click to expand...
I totally agree!

By the way naturallylovely, your hair is beautiful! And your screen name is so fitting for your hair as well. ;)
 
Mahalialee4 said:
I am curious to know at what length did she start to wear the braids back to back and at what length did the hair grow to when stretched? bonjour
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She's worn braids for years off and on but I didn't know how to care for her hair (or mine) so she never accumulated length. She started off with about 4 inches. I just learned to measure lengths since I joined this site in November so I don't know exactly how much she gained per year but roughly 4 or 5 inches easy.
 
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