Take your paws of my mane.......%@#!!

[hottopic]

People are putting their hand in my hair at work…I HATE IT. I don’t want to be rude, but people (black girls, white girls and one gay man) keep touching my hair. I am like what the hell. I told them I don’t like people touching my hair. This one girl begged me even said “pretty please.” Next week I am going back to my wigs, because I can’t stand it any more. I wore wigs for the past 3 months, but now it’s getting hot (I am in FL). I can’t survive in a wig during the summer time in FL. What should I do ? I already told these people to I don’t like their hand in my hair. But for someone odd reason they go deaf. AHHHH….

 

[PinkSkates]

What are their reasons for wanting to put their hands in your hair?

 

[mscocoface]

I think with a look and a certain attitude you can tell these people to not touch your hair.

You can let them know under no uncertain terms you do not want to be touched as it is indeed violating and to go away.

Hopefully since they have all done this now they will no longer bother you but it is your hair and you have a right not to feel bothered about your hair.

I would not wear a wig in Florida to cover my head because folks are touching me. You are right it is too dang hot and the reason you took care of your hair was to reach this goal.

No go on with your goal, wear you hair down, out, on top of your head whatever you want and tell these people in your best "sistah" attitude to take a long walk off of a short pier!

 

[NuMe2004]

Girl, I feel your pain. I wore drawstring ponytails for a long time while I was growing my hair out, and some white woman asked, "Is this real?" I told her "No," and she then lifted up the entire ponytail and was like, "But how do you attach it?" Ugh!

When I wore my hair in a bun, my boss (a white man) kept touching it and turning it. He used to pretend that he was turning a dial and would say silly things like, "I'm changing the station."

I don't like it when people touch my hair either, but that shouldn't stop you from wearing your own hair. A lot of non-black folks are fascinated with black hair, but they need to learn to MIND THEIR BUSINESS!!

 

[hottopic]

What are their reasons for wanting to put their hands in your hair?

That is a very good question. I don't know each of their reason. I only know that one girl said "oh you have so much hair and it's long why do you wear wigs?" Then she asked questions about my hair. Then asked if she could touch it. I said "no." But she hoovered over my hair and was ,"pretty please." I guess she wanted to know if it was my real hair. I don't know. The guy who touched my hair is always commenting about my wigs (he touch those too). This was the 1st week I had my hair out and he came over my desk and started to play in my hair while taking. AHHHHHHH. Then there was a girl in my break room who was taking to me about hair products and asked me what I used. I told her my product list. We were then talking about hair care and I mention to her that I don't like people touching my hair, because I don't know their hands. A little while after she got up to leave the breakroom and someone came over to talk to her. She started to touch my hair too. I was like what the %$##$# Didn't I just say I don't like people playing in my hair. This is serious.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Wow! When I first read the thread I was like "well wats so wrong with ppl just touching it"..but after reading it is indeed rude. Especially when white folks are trying to be facicious about it. Like oo0ohhh "negro hair" But I think you should politely say after they have gotten their feels on that you don't like people touching your hair but make them feel special and say "but I let you touch cuz I like you...but don't do it again..*points index finger* try something like that.

 

[love2alicia]

Im not sure coz I like people touching my hair as long as I know them well enough but thats just me.

Just put a load of MTG in one day and stink them away

 

[Divalicious]

This is my # 1 pet peeve. I think it's disgusting for people to put their hands in my hair because I don't have a clue where their hands have been and what they've been touching. I think you should tell them to stop harassing you and they're not being paid to touch your hair. Or you can say ' I've told you once and I'm not telling you again. Keep your germ-infected hands to yourself.'

 

[CAPlush]

Girl, I feel your pain. I wore drawstring ponytails for a long time while I was growing my hair out, and some white woman asked, "Is this real?" I told her "No," and she then lifted up the entire ponytail and was like, "But how do you attach it?" Ugh!

When I wore my hair in a bun, my boss (a white man) kept touching it and turning it. He used to pretend that he was turning a dial and would say silly things like, "I'm changing the station."

I don't like it when people touch my hair either, but that shouldn't stop you from wearing your own hair. A lot of non-black folks are fascinated with black hair, but they need to learn to MIND THEIR BUSINESS!!

OMG, this is the funniest thing I've read all day! It makes me think of the boss on that show "The Office."

 

[hottopic]

Girl, I feel your pain. I wore drawstring ponytails for a long time while I was growing my hair out, and some white woman asked, "Is this real?" I told her "No," and she then lifted up the entire ponytail and was like, "But how do you attach it?" Ugh!

When I wore my hair in a bun, my boss (a white man) kept touching it and turning it. He used to pretend that he was turning a dial and would say silly things like, "I'm changing the station."

I don't like it when people touch my hair either, but that shouldn't stop you from wearing your own hair. A lot of non-black folks are fascinated with black hair, but they need to learn to MIND THEIR BUSINESS!!

OMG. I just read this. Girl I thought I had it bad. What did you do?

 

[SUPER SWEET]

why you gonna make me come down florida and get rough with people i dont know I need a reason to visit FL soon!

Seriously, you need to firm and state I don't like ANYONE touching my hair.Please stop making me feel uncomfortable.

 

[NuMe2004]

OMG. I just read this. Girl I thought I had it bad. What did you do?

Unfortunately, I didn't do anything other than get mad. My sis and I always talk about how we need to find better ways to handle the whole white-folks-and-their-irritating-questions-about-black-hair situation.

 

[foxy_brown]

You could develop a habit of leaning away or ducking and putting your hand out every time someone came to touch it - when their hands reach out - lean back or duck and put your hand out to block them in a joking but dramatic way - you can say something like "hey, hey, you're not my boyfriend" - that should bring the message home to them. I used to have this problem many years back when I wore extensions and the ducking worked - it became so instinctive that no one ever touched my hair - of course now my hair is short so it's not an issue. The only thing to be careful about is that it can become such a habit that you might duck if someone touches your hair that you would normally want to have touch it like your date or boyfriend.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

Sounds like it's time to start slapping hands.

I hate when people do that, shoot you never know where those nasty hands have been !

 

[adrienne0914]

i got over this one a while ago. the longer it gets, the worse people get. for me, it's usually black folks. whites seem to know better. lol!

 

[senimoni]

OMG NuMe that is hilarious...foul yes...but hilarious none the less.

OP - I voted before I read, if you've asked nicely and they ignore, it is time to get rude/firm.

It personally doesn't bother me too much except for the days that my hair is combed on the outer layer only...ie you move one piece and it all lifts and I have a nasty habit of digging in my scalp.

 

[hottopic]

I read posts before about this subject, but never really thought it would happen to me you know. I mean. It was so bad as I wrote my post today I vented to another co-worker. A white woman, but her hair is really long (to her butt). She actually understood. Funny. This all happened in the span of two days, yesterday and today. The straw that broke my back was the last girl who I told it gets me upset when people touch my hair. And she still did it after I told her I don't like it. I don't want to wear my hair down now. I am actually kinda sad about it, because I worked so hard and can't enjoy it. Maybe it's me. Maybe I feel so strong about it because I know what I had to do to get my hair to this point. It's hard dang work. You know.

 

[hottopic]

i got over this one a while ago. the longer it gets, the worse people get. for me, it's usually black folks. whites seem to know better. lol!

So are you saying the best thing to do is let it go?

 

[sareca]

You could develop a habit of leaning away or ducking and putting your hand out every time someone came to touch it - when their hands reach out - lean back or duck and put your hand out to block them in a joking but dramatic way - you can say something like "hey, hey, you're not my boyfriend" - that should bring the message home to them. I used to have this problem many years back when I wore extensions and the ducking worked - it became so instinctive that no one ever touched my hair - of course now my hair is short so it's not an issue. The only thing to be careful about is that it can become such a habit that you might duck if someone touches your hair that you would normally want to have touch it like your date or boyfriend.

If I think they're checkin' for tracks or if just they just walked up off the street I usually say "no touchy"
For people I know I just let 'em.

 

[hottopic]

So far it looks like I am caught between being rude and being nice on the poll. This is too close man. That's not good.

 

[*Michelle*]

Sounds like it's time to start slapping hands.

I hate when people do that, shoot you never know where those nasty hands have been !

LOL...this was my thought too!

If you've already been nice, then its time to get firm! Tell them they are in your space and need to respect your boundaries...everybody understands that. Then go on and rock your hair to work

 

[Bint Yusef]

Be aggressive, its obvious nice does not work.

 

[Mahalialee4]

i got over this one a while ago. the longer it gets, the worse people get. for me, it's usually black folks. whites seem to know better. lol!

Hey Adrienne! waving at ya! Where ya been? Any recent updates and what is your current regime? Tell all! bonjour

 

[hottopic]

Today is a new day. Let's see how it goes. I let my hair down again today. I will be aggressive. I am going to do my black girl mean face. Noone would dear come near me with my mean face. It can back fire though and they ask me ohh what's wrong. Then try to give me a hug and touch my hair. lol. We will see.

 

[SparklingFlame]

I think you should say, "Take your paws of my mane.......%@#!!"



For real!

 

[bLackButtaFly]

I would put alittle bass in y our voice, get that look that you mama used to et when she was done playing, and let them know. Also I know it sounds awful, but sometimes when I don't want people to touch my hair I'll be like I don't know where your hands have been, really stank like and an insult to them. They may be alittle perturbed at the implication, and will think you're a little b*****y, but at least they'll stop.

 

[Cayenne0622]

Its hard to know how to handle this. I have very close friends and family members who do this too. I don't understand it. There is a really good friend of mine who I work with who I've told more than once that I don't like people doing...particularly because its humid here and sometimes I will be a non-alcohol hairspray to keep my fine hair from going FLOP!! So as soon as someone starts running their fingers through it, the oils from their hands start doing just what I'm trying to prevent. She continues to do it whenever I wear my hair down. I do the duck and pull away thang but by then she has already run her hand through it once..(she catches me off guard). My hair ain't even long yet either!!! I don't get it.

 

[hottopic]

I would put alittle bass in y our voice, get that look that you mama used to et when she was done playing, and let them know. Also I know it sounds awful, but sometimes when I don't want people to touch my hair I'll be like I don't know where your hands have been, really stank like and an insult to them. They may be alittle perturbed at the implication, and will think you're a little b*****y, but at least they'll stop.

Thank God it has not happened today as of yet. But the gay guy was by my desk and gave me a massage. They are sooo touchy touchy feely feely here. I was thinking in my head you better not touch my hair. I was actually trying to inch away.

 

[lovenharmony]

Uh, if someone was touching any part of me let alone my hair that I didn't want touched, I'd surely be ticked off about it and if they didn't stop, I'd bring them up on charges! I'm assuming this is at work since you said your desk . Don't they know you could get fired over stuff like that?

 

[hottopic]

Uh, if someone was touching any part of me let alone my hair that I didn't want touched, I'd surely be ticked off about it and if they didn't stop, I'd bring them up on charges! I'm assuming this is at work since you said your desk . Don't they know you could get fired over stuff like that?

Yeah it's at work. I know he doesn't mean anything by it because he touches everyone. He is a very flamboyant guy but still a nice person.