Struggling........

[tffy2004]

First let me say that I am struggling with my faith so please keep that in mind while reading this post..

A couple things that bother me:

1. "If you don't dress in your best when going to church, you are disrespecting God." Yes I have heard this. And I need someone to explain the thinking behind this statement.

2. Is there such a thing as birth-right to inherit a ministry or church even if it's not what you want to do?
~Situation: One night we call my sister-in-law, she and my husband start talking about church and she tells him that she is mad at him because he is copping out of his role in the church(we live 1200+ miles away). So they argue for a little while, and my husband finally gets off the phone. He comes and tells me that she told him that it is his birth-right to be invovled in the ministry and to take over if anything happens to their dad even if its not something that my husband wants to do, and she proceeds to tell my husband that if he doesn't do it then it will be our children. Which infuriates me because to be honest I think they are in it for the wronng reasons, and I don't want my kids brought into something that was founded on the love of money.
*There is so much more to the situation but I don't want to put it all here on the board. If more info would help you to clearify these things PM me.

I thought that church and ministry was to seek God and have a relationship with him. From my experience and what I have seen it seems like people, including some pastors, use God for money and material things and they use their so called relationship with him to get money out of people (become a partner(send some money) and we will personally pray for you) and say that the reason they are so blessed financially is because its God taking care of them, when its really the money they send in for prayer.

I just need someone to encourage me, not to give up completely.........

 

[Valerie]

You have a very interesting situation there, it is nothing wrong with dressing well to go to church, if you want to wear your best clothes wear them, God looks at the heart, not at your clothes. If you read about the priest in Moses time, they were dressed very richly. God loves abundance and beautiful things. Some people like to come across as being humble, because they dress poorly because they dress poorly, they are following religion, not God.

As for the second part, my take on it. 'Give and it shall be given onto you'. The love of money is the root to all evil, not money, we need money in the world and there is nothing we can do about it, you need to be rich, in your finances, in your relationship with your husband and your children, if you have any, because struggling to pay bills, etc is not a good life. As long as people are getting help, God will bless them. If they are robbing people God will judge them, it is nothing wrong with a minister having a big house, several houses, business etc, if they help the other church members to improve their lives, they will be bless, the poor cannot help the poor only the rich can. Struggling poor churches cannot help anyone.

 

[alexstin]

I just typed this long post and it's gone. Here's the abbreviated version.

The body of Christ particpates in and advocates so many things that have nothing to do with a relationship with the Father.

Dress--Don't worry about what others say. Slip on jeans, slacks or a sundress and go on about your day. People are more concerned about outdressing the person sitting next to them then dealing with the condition of their heart. Not that I'm advocating this but Adam and Eve didn't wear any clothes before the fall and they had a very intimate relationship with the Father. Farfetched? Yes, but you get my point.

Birthright-God chooses who He will for the 5 fold. It's not automatically passed down from father to son. If a person isn't called to do something there will be no grace or anointing to do it. That is not a good place to be in. Think about the birds and how effortlessly they fly. Now think about us and airplanes. Do you know how many people and how much effort it takes to get a plane in the air and keep it up there? I believe if it's something we are called to do and we are yielded to God our hearts will eventually change to line up with His will.

I sense your frustration with the Christian religion and believe me I have been there. I want to recommend a book called Rediscovering the Kingdom. I've recommneded this book before and outside of the Bible it has had the most influence on my life. It really helps you to see where the Body of Christ has fallen short and the original intent for all mankind. Even though I thought I knew why Christ came after reading this, I found I had to go back and search the scriptures and I was amazed at what I found. I guarantee this book will change your entire perspective, put a smile on your face and give you the new found confidence!!! I had questions answered I didn't even know I had!!!!

Be blessed!!

 

[Starian]

I'll address the dress part.

A lot of times, I find that people want to roll out of bed and go sit in church wearing pajamas and bunny slippers, and want God to accept them as they are.

"God wants me to come as I am, so I'm not going to pull on a decent pair of slacks or skirt. I'll just wear these old faded jeans and a do-rag." Meanwhile, these same folks are dressed to the nines for any other occasion. The whole lack of effort when it comes to worshipping God irritates me. Like serving God requires the least amount of time or energy possible.

I don't think any one expects another person to wear all name brand or look like they're going to the prom for Sunday service. But at least wear clean, neat clothes and comb your hair.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

I'll address the dress part.

A lot of times, I find that people want to roll out of bed and go sit in church wearing pajamas and bunny slippers, and want God to accept them as they are.

"God wants me to come as I am, so I'm not going to pull on a decent pair of slacks or skirt. I'll just wear these old faded jeans and a do-rag." Meanwhile, these same folks are dressed to the nines for any other occasion. The whole lack of effort when it comes to worshipping God irritates me. Like serving God requires the least amount of time or energy possible.

I don't think any one expects another person to wear all name brand or look like they're going to the prom for Sunday service. But at least wear clean, neat clothes and comb your hair.

I totally agree. I was always raised to give God my best in all ways, and I look at it as though we can get dressed up for a job, but not for God? That's not right. I know that God cares about what's on the inside more than what's on the outside, but I think the two are sometimes related. It's not about what you are wearing, but more about a revernece and respect of God and the house of God. I will always dress nice for church. You may not wear an expensive suit every Sunday, but you should always give God your best in all that you do (including how you dress in His house).

I knew this very wealthy lawyer who would go to his church in a jogging suit sometimes. (Other times he would be late and always look a mess.) I'm not trying to judge him or his family, but I know that he reverences the court in such a manner that he would never even think of entering the courthouse like that. NEVER! But he thinks it's ok to go to church that way? That seemed a little strange to me, but I understand that there are those of us with different opinions which is why there are so many different churches with different styles. Different strokes for different folks, but as for me no jeans or jogging pants for church (no matter how nice and expensive they are).

 

[Shimmie]

First let me say that I am struggling with my faith so please keep that in mind while reading this post..

A couple things that bother me:

1. "If you don't dress in your best when going to church, you are disrespecting God." Yes I have heard this. And I need someone to explain the thinking behind this statement.

2. Is there such a thing as birth-right to inherit a ministry or church even if it's not what you want to do?
~Situation: One night we call my sister-in-law, she and my husband start talking about church and she tells him that she is mad at him because he is copping out of his role in the church(we live 1200+ miles away). So they argue for a little while, and my husband finally gets off the phone. He comes and tells me that she told him that it is his birth-right to be invovled in the ministry and to take over if anything happens to their dad even if its not something that my husband wants to do, and she proceeds to tell my husband that if he doesn't do it then it will be our children. Which infuriates me because to be honest I think they are in it for the wronng reasons, and I don't want my kids brought into something that was founded on the love of money.
*There is so much more to the situation but I don't want to put it all here on the board. If more info would help you to clearify these things PM me.

I thought that church and ministry was to seek God and have a relationship with him. From my experience and what I have seen it seems like people, including some pastors, use God for money and material things and they use their so called relationship with him to get money out of people (become a partner(send some money) and we will personally pray for you) and say that the reason they are so blessed financially is because its God taking care of them, when its really the money they send in for prayer.

I just need someone to encourage me, not to give up completely.........

You know what Tffy? In the short time that I have come to 'know' you in this forum, there cannot be a more precious daughter of God. And He is well pleased with you and your husband.

Whatever you personally choose to wear to Church, I have no doubt that God looks upon you and smiles with loving tears in His eyes, for you are among the precious 'few' who brings a warm glow to His heart. You've been through much, yet you STILL trust Him. Nothing more needs to be said.

As for your husband, the FIRST call to every man is to his wife and family. And your husband has never failed this call of God upon his life. Tffy, with tears in my eyes, I can say this in truth. How many men these days, Black and otherwise, has God been able to smile upon? With all of the mess in and out of the Church with broken families, homes, relationships, etc., it's healing to the heart of God to see your husband as one of his sons who have answered the call to the great commission...'Marriage'.

Your sister in law is not the one who has 'called' your husband to Destiny. God is. Life is so precious. And your husband is giving life to your and your beautiful children...'The Little Prophets'. Did not Joseph answer the Call of God to take Mary as his wife and become 'the earthly' Father to our Lord and Saviour Jesus? Your husband is living God's call.

Be blessed and forget about all of the rest. Afterall, what's the point? Your call is answered.

 

[tffy2004]

You have a very interesting situation there, it is nothing wrong with dressing well to go to church, if you want to wear your best clothes wear them, God looks at the heart, not at your clothes. If you read about the priest in Moses time, they were dressed very richly. God loves abundance and beautiful things. Some people like to come across as being humble, because they dress poorly because they dress poorly, they are following religion, not God.

As for the second part, my take on it. 'Give and it shall be given onto you'. The love of money is the root to all evil, not money, we need money in the world and there is nothing we can do about it, you need to be rich, in your finances, in your relationship with your husband and your children, if you have any, because struggling to pay bills, etc is not a good life. As long as people are getting help, God will bless them. If they are robbing people God will judge them, it is nothing wrong with a minister having a big house, several houses, business etc, if they help the other church members to improve their lives, they will be bless, the poor cannot help the poor only the rich can. Struggling poor churches cannot help anyone.

Thank you so much for responding. I have no problem with a minister having a big house, and businesses at all, really. The part that gets to me is when the church becomes a business. Some pastors I have heard 75%of the time preach about getting money. Its like they're not really into saving souls, saving marriages anymore, or teaching people the skills needed to get a job and start their career.

I don't agree that poor churches cannot help anyone. It is the poor struggling church that I think I get the most word from.

 

[tffy2004]

I just typed this long post and it's gone. Here's the abbreviated version.

The body of Christ particpates in and advocates so many things that have nothing to do with a relationship with the Father.

Dress--Don't worry about what others say. Slip on jeans, slacks or a sundress and go on about your day. People are more concerned about outdressing the person sitting next to them then dealing with the condition of their heart. Not that I'm advocating this but Adam and Eve didn't wear any clothes before the fall and they had a very intimate relationship with the Father. Farfetched? Yes, but you get my point.

Birthright-God chooses who He will for the 5 fold. It's not automatically passed down from father to son. If a person isn't called to do something there will be no grace or anointing to do it. That is not a good place to be in. Think about the birds and how effortlessly they fly. Now think about us and airplanes. Do you know how many people and how much effort it takes to get a plane in the air and keep it up there? I believe if it's something we are called to do and we are yielded to God our hearts will eventually change to line up with His will.

I sense your frustration with the Christian religion and believe me I have been there. I want to recommend a book called Rediscovering the Kingdom. I've recommneded this book before and outside of the Bible it has had the most influence on my life. It really helps you to see where the Body of Christ has fallen short and the original intent for all mankind. Even though I thought I knew why Christ came after reading this, I found I had to go back and search the scriptures and I was amazed at what I found. I guarantee this book will change your entire perspective, put a smile on your face and give you the new found confidence!!! I had questions answered I didn't even know I had!!!!

Be blessed!!

Thank you so much for responding. Dressing for church for me isn't a problem I will grab some jeans and a nice shirt, throw on some sandals and head to church in a minute I just don't like when people give of that heir of 'I know you didn't' at what you have on. It doesn't bother me but I know that it bothers others and I have seen first hand potential members of a church not come back to the church because they were obviously made uncomfortable because they simply can afford to buy nicer clothes. It just don't sit well with me. I see where you are coming from with the Adam and Eve explanation my husband says that "if Jesus could walk around and serve people with a robe and sandals, my jeans and tennis shoes should be just fine"

Thank you for explaining birth rites to me. I just wish I could get my sister-in-law to see it that way without getting in to an argument.

Is the book Rediscovering the Kingdom written by Myles Monroe? I want to make sure to get the right one. Once I read it I will send it other family members and friends to read. I am really excited about reading this book!!!

 

[tffy2004]

I'll address the dress part.

A lot of times, I find that people want to roll out of bed and go sit in church wearing pajamas and bunny slippers, and want God to accept them as they are.

"God wants me to come as I am, so I'm not going to pull on a decent pair of slacks or skirt. I'll just wear these old faded jeans and a do-rag." Meanwhile, these same folks are dressed to the nines for any other occasion. The whole lack of effort when it comes to worshipping God irritates me. Like serving God requires the least amount of time or energy possible.

I don't think any one expects another person to wear all name brand or look like they're going to the prom for Sunday service. But at least wear clean, neat clothes and comb your hair.

I understand and see where you are coming from, thank you so much for responding.

 

[tffy2004]

You know what Tffy? In the short time that I have come to 'know' you in this forum, there cannot be a more precious daughter of God. And He is well pleased with you and your husband.

Whatever you personally choose to wear to Church, I have no doubt that God looks upon you and smiles with loving tears in His eyes, for you are among the precious 'few' who brings a warm glow to His heart. You've been through much, yet you STILL trust Him. Nothing more needs to be said.

As for your husband, the FIRST call to every man is to his wife and family. And your husband has never failed this call of God upon his life. Tffy, with tears in my eyes, I can say this in truth. How many men these days, Black and otherwise, has God been able to smile upon? With all of the mess in and out of the Church with broken families, homes, relationships, etc., it's healing to the heart of God to see your husband as one of his sons who have answered the call to the great commission...'Marriage'.

Your sister in law is not the one who has 'called' your husband to Destiny. God is. Life is so precious. And your husband is giving life to your and your beautiful children...'The Little Prophets'. Did not Joseph answer the Call of God to take Mary as his wife and become 'the earthly' Father to our Lord and Saviour Jesus? Your husband is living God's call.

Be blessed and forget about all of the rest. Afterall, what's the point? Your call is answered.

Shimmie this here post of yours is exactly why I LOVE YOU!!!!!

You know just the right and TRUE and comforting things to say and whole heartedly appreciate that. Thank you so much!!

 

[Bunny77]

I'll address the dress part.

A lot of times, I find that people want to roll out of bed and go sit in church wearing pajamas and bunny slippers, and want God to accept them as they are.

"God wants me to come as I am, so I'm not going to pull on a decent pair of slacks or skirt. I'll just wear these old faded jeans and a do-rag." Meanwhile, these same folks are dressed to the nines for any other occasion. The whole lack of effort when it comes to worshipping God irritates me. Like serving God requires the least amount of time or energy possible.

I don't think any one expects another person to wear all name brand or look like they're going to the prom for Sunday service. But at least wear clean, neat clothes and comb your hair.

Yeah, you described this well, as did DivaStyle.

I look at it like this. I'm a jeans and sweater type of girl, but my clothes are respectable. No holes in the jeans, no tight/ill-fitting shirts, clothes always ironed... I always look neat and clean. (Also, my job is casual, so I can wear jeans, but they should be nice jeans.)

So that's how I should represent myself at church. I don't think that it's a requirement that I put on expensive suits to attend church, BUT I need to at least dress as I would for work when I attend church. I'm not going to wear the sweats I put on to run to the store or clean the house, because those clothes are basically for times when I am making little effort to look decent... so why would I don that for God?

I think the point is that you should adorn yourself with the attire that is your standard for respectable. (And hopefully, bunny slippers/flip-flops/pajama bottoms aren't that standard! )

 

[alexstin]

Thank you so much for responding. Dressing for church for me isn't a problem I will grab some jeans and a nice shirt, throw on some sandals and head to church in a minute I just don't like when people give of that heir of 'I know you didn't' at what you have on. It doesn't bother me but I know that it bothers others and I have seen first hand potential members of a church not come back to the church because they were obviously made uncomfortable because they simply can afford to buy nicer clothes. It just don't sit well with me. I see where you are coming from with the Adam and Eve explanation my husband says that "if Jesus could walk around and serve people with a robe and sandals, my jeans and tennis shoes should be just fine"

Thank you for explaining birth rites to me. I just wish I could get my sister-in-law to see it that way without getting in to an argument.

Is the book Rediscovering the Kingdom written by Myles Monroe? I want to make sure to get the right one. Once I read it I will send it other family members and friends to read. I am really excited about reading this book!!!

Yes, it is. I know it sounds dramatic but it is really a life changing book. You will be forever changed and all the struggles will be a thing of the past.

 

[Enchantmt]

In regards to the attitudes about church attire, some of that is exactly what keeps certain people out of church. They cant afford nice things, so they dont go at all because of how God's Children are going to respond. They cant worship because of the condemnation of folx who have forgotten where their blessing came from. I'm not speaking of people who dress carelessly as an afterthought, I mean the ones that just dont have the money to spend on clothes. The one place that they should feel welcomed and embraced, is the one place that makes them feel beneath everyone else. Folx who have been in the world all their lives, coming off the street seeking only know the worlds standard of dressing. They think coming in with the short tight shirts, and baggy pants is their best. Or if they know better cant do better. That doesnt mean just anything goes, but dressing inappropriately out of ignorance or lack is different than dressing that way out of lack of respect, and it needs to be addressed differently. Just welcome folx and get them saved. They will automatically adjust their dress to blend in with the majority, because its human nature. Besides, once they are saved the Holy Spirit can convict them on what they need convicting on. You cant really address folx about this sort of stuff unless you have relationship enough with them to speak on it. Strangers judging them will just run them away. There was one church years ago that went completely casual in an effort to make economically challenged folx more welcome. I dont recall the name of it, tho or how that worked out.