Finding a church home

Divine.

Well-Known Member
I have been going to a church for about a year and I really enjoy it. However there are some areas where it lacks. For example, since the church uses a rented space, there aren't many opportunities for meetings aside from Sunday. They don't have a bible study and that really bothers me. In the place of bible study, they have life groups. Life groups teaches foundational principles, but to be honest I'm past that. I need more.

There's also not many areas to serve either. The two major ones are welcome ministry and children's ministry. I am not that personable so welcome ministry is out, and I'm not a fan of kids :look: That leaves me with nowhere else to fit in.

The church is only a few years old so it's still growing. I really like this church but I don't want to feel regret if I join. How did you find your church home?
 
First, I prayed about it. But I prayed for a long time for a good church to join. It wasn't until I started actively looking, visiting other churches did I find the one I finally settled in. I've been in my church for two years now and I love it. I visited the church for about 4-5 months before I joined.
 
First, I prayed about it. But I prayed for a long time for a good church to join. It wasn't until I started actively looking, visiting other churches did I find the one I finally settled in. I've been in my church for two years now and I love it. I visited the church for about 4-5 months before I joined.

I will definitely be praying about this because right now, I don't feel like I'm growing. It was great when I first got saved, but now that I'm looking for more, it's just not cutting it. At times I feel God speaks to me more when I study on my own..
 
divine, I advise you to keep looking, God wants you to continue to grow and to be apart of the body. Hebrew 10:25. In addition, you can continue to have your own daily studies while you continue to find a bible based Church. That should be done regardless, its good because it helped you see that you needed more. Which is the same for me, but I challenge myself, I am always reading and searching. you can never read and study the bible enough.
 
Hey Divine,

One of your concerns is that there aren't many opportunities for meetings aside from Sunday. I can definitely understand your desire for frequent regular fellowship. Outside of Sunday morning services, do people there make an effort to build genuine lasting friendships throughout the week? It's good when Believers come together on Sundays to hear sound Biblical teaching, sing and pray as a congregation -- but I also believe that it's important, and even essential, for us to connect throughout the week or month and really get to know one another beyond the brief conversations that normally take place before and after Sunday morning service. Meeting up only on Sunday mornings can be a bit limited and surface level. It's great to come together, but you really desire more interaction and fellowship than that. I don't want to assume that you haven't reached out to anyone already, or that the people there don't reach out to one another. But maybe that's something you can bring up on Sunday and speak with others about. The meetings don't have to take place in that rented space. You could just meet up with a handful of people in any place that God provides.

I hear what you're saying about the Life Groups. I have a similar issue when it comes to "topical sermons." There's normally a leader over the group who picks a topic and teaches a "life principle" using various Scriptures to support the lesson. While there's certainly nothing wrong with topical teachings, that shouldn't be the whole or the bulk of instruction. When Believers come together and crack open our Bibles, we should be desiring the whole counsel of God and seek to learn the chronological history of the Bible (which is important). Not just being taught "life principles" with Scriptures mixed in to support a topical teaching. I believe that it can be a problem when Believers are taught to live by principles rather than encouraged to live by the leading and power of the Holy Spirit (I think that there is a difference). Muslims, Buddhists, Hindus, and even atheists and agnostics can live by good principles -- this is because it doesn't require the Holy Spirit to be a moral person or a principled person. But only a person who is born again can live by the leading and power of the Holy Spirit. Paul referred to this as "walking in the Spirit." The apostles didn't teach the saints to live by principles and "good moral lessons" but to abide in Christ and live by the power of God's Spirit. I can listen to a secular motivational speaker and hear about good principles. But if I want to hear how to live by the Spirit, I have to consume the very word of God in context -- taught in an expositional manner, and not quoted in bits and pieces for topical teachings.

You also mentioned that there aren't many areas to serve. I don't know what your spiritual gift is, but if it's needed where you are, your gift will make room for you. Normally spiritual gifts flow naturally and organically from the Holy Spirit. For example, if you are gifted to teach, you will find yourself in situations where you are teaching and sharing with other Believers, even if you aren't a leader in the assembly and don't have a title. You will find yourself coming alongside other Believers (maybe over the phone, over a meal, etc) to instruct them about certain spiritual things. Some of us have the mindset that we're suppose to join a church and then find a ministry where we fit in -- sometimes not realizing that the ministry we're looking for is the spiritual gift(s) God gave us. Sometimes we also overlook opportunities to serve beyond the building. Yet in Scripture, the majority of Christ's ministry took place outside, in public places, in places of residence, and so on. The same can be said for the apostles and the prophets. The Lord will show you where you are needed and orchestrate situations for you to serve. It just may not always happen where you assemble.

I won't preach at you about not forsaking fellowship, because you sound like you're in serious pursuit of Biblical fellowship -- otherwise you wouldn't have shared your concerns and reached out for counsel. I just encourage you to be prayerful and use discernment. Take your time. There's no rush. I know that there's a lot of cultural pressure to join a local church and become an official member on paper (because that's the way 'church' has been done for a long time), but try not to feel so pressured.
 
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When I lived in another country (for school) I went to the church recommended by the International Office and I loved it! It was small, had a nice mix of members (young and old) and there were young persons genuinely interested in theology. I found it so "cool" and admirable. Also, because it was so small, everyone had to be involved in everything.

If I didn't like it, I would've just moved to another one until I found somewhere that I enjoyed.

That was on the first time I changed churches. The church that I attend now is the fourth church I've attended in the same country in the same diocese (family of churches). I left for various reasons - moving, classes not progressing as quickly as I would like, involvement is from the same set of persons etc.
 
FreeIndeed Everything you said sums up exactly how I feel. The one thing I do love about this church is that it feels like a family. Everyone is connected and the pastor is within reach. But...the sermons are very topical based. Yes they're funny. Yes they're interesting. But the sermon doesn't break the scripture down; the scripture provides a topic for the sermon.

Church service feels like a social. Idk if that's a good or a bad thing. There's a lot of young people there, which I like, but their fruit :nono: Their fruit does not reflect that the Holy Spirit is living through them. That really disheartens me. I don't pass judgment on people, but I will take a good look at their fruit and see if it lines up with God's word. Idk if I'm being too critical, but I feel like more people should be getting changed here.

My spiritual gift is helping others. I took my spiritual gift into consideration when deciding which ministry to join. Aside from the welcome and children's ministry there's volunteering. I can volunteer, but I can also volunteer outside the church too.

I do feel pressure to join a church. I have been at this particular church for a year and I'm still not a member. Finding a church home has been more difficult than I anticipated.

Thanks for your kind words! They were very helpful.
 
I've been away from my home church for 10 years almost and earlier this month was the first time I didn't join under watch care (college and after I joined churches under watch care bc I knew I was moving). I actually attended a church for one year in 2008 and although I liked many components of the church I didn't feel lead to join. I joined this church after prayer, looking up the beliefs on the website, attending for months, and speaking with the Pastor and several members. What really attracted me to the church (besides the Word) was how they treated visitors and how welcoming the congregation was to me every time I attended. There is a big family feel, and that's big for me being single and away from my family. I was worried about bible study because I had not checked it out before I joined (it kept getting cancelled maybe due to the whole polar vortex) but when I went after joining that was awesome as well. Not sure what ministry I will join, and likely won't become involved in ministry until the summer bc of my work schedule. Previously I have been in the choir but I want to do something different. I would just stay in prayer...I grew so frustrated last year when I couldn't find a church and spent many of the few Sundays I had off work at home listening to sermons. It's been a long time coming.

ETA: the Word is the biggest thing I look at with joining a church. Yes I love to fellowship and sing, but there has to be sound doctrine and coherent preaching. I'm really big on being able to take away a coherent, applicable message that was well thought out and well studied. I'm big on series (maybe because I've listened to so many preachers online) and themes that allows me to tie things together. I grew up in the church so I can tell when people haven't prepped their message or the message is watered down to please certain people and I have to have the unfiltered Truth.
 
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DreamLifeTo the bolded: this is exactly how I felt towards the church I was attending. After a year, I still didn't feel God leading me to join. I just started attending a new church and so far, so good. Everyone is very friendly. The pastor is pretty amazing. I kind of felt like God confirmed my concerns about the other church I was attending through him at bible study last night. He mentioned that he wanted to make sure that he taught on a level that elevated the church. I was so happy to hear that! Pastors shouldn't feel like they have to water down their message to appease the masses.

One thing I really like about him is that he knows his history, on top of the scriptures. I like learning so the information he's been teaching has been awesome. The church also has plenty of areas to serve.

For right now, I'm just going to Sunday service and bible study. I can't wait until Sunday :grin:

I've been away from my home church for 10 years almost and earlier this month was the first time I didn't join under watch care (college and after I joined churches under watch care bc I knew I was moving). I actually attended a church for one year in 2008 and although I liked many components of the church I didn't feel lead to join. I joined this church after prayer, looking up the beliefs on the website, attending for months, and speaking with the Pastor and several members. What really attracted me to the church (besides the Word) was how they treated visitors and how welcoming the congregation was to me every time I attended.
 
I feel like all churches have their flaws. I go to a church now that I find so many issues I'm itching to walk away. At first I thought I found what I needed but I'm slowly seeing I was wrong. I just don't care anymore. I prayed about it and I'm still confused so it's whatever at this point.
 
I feel like all churches have their flaws. I go to a church now that I find so many issues I'm itching to walk away. At first I thought I found what I needed but I'm slowly seeing I was wrong. I just don't care anymore. I prayed about it and I'm still confused so it's whatever at this point.

Of course! I don't think there is a "perfect" church per se. But I know the important things I'm looking for in a church.

The Holy Spirit is already prompting you to leave. I didn't want to leave the church I was at because I felt like I was "in too deep." I thought I found my new church home. However I knew the Holy Spirit was leading me somewhere else.

You shouldn't feel whatever about your church. That in itself can stunt your growth because then you just won't want to go to church period. I highly suggest you figure out what you don't like, figure out what you're looking for, and start your search for a new church based on that criteria. I wouldn't advise you switch churches for superficial reasons though.
 
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