Stinking Thinking...

[Country gal]

Anybody who knows me well, is very aware of my obsession with having longer hair. Well I was reading a hair book this weekend and some of my family members asked me what good hare care tips did I learn. So I start telling them about how often your hair should be washed. They started saying only white women can wash their hair every three days and that my hair would only grow if it was washed less frequently. What negative comments have you encountered when you have shared your hair goals or pratices? I sure I am not the only one who has run into the stinking thinkin comments.

 

[Blackndiangirl]

well my family tells me that im crazzy for taking all those hair vitmins, and for buying all those hair products. Basicly it similar to what your folks say but i just learn to ignore it.

 

[notsomebody]

I remember the girls I went to highschool with always saying that you HAVE to relax your hair if you want it to grow. And that when you relax your hair you have to comb it through completely or it wouldn't take.
They also weren't able to understand the concept that new growth means that the hair is growing. For them new growth meant time to relax again. Come to think of it none of them had hair past their shoulders.

Another friend of mind told me that if I washed my hair too often it would rot and start to smell bad. I think its funny the things we are willing to believe when just don't know any better.

 

[porkypig007]

The more you blow-dry, the quicker your hair grows 'cuz you're actually "bringing" your hair out to the surface quicker, with the heat.

 

[sassygirl125]

I encounter the 'shampoo 2-3 times a month and use grease for hair growth' advocates, too. They use the fact that they have below shoulder length hair as the selling point. I ain't buyin'! Their hair has been the same length for decades, it's dry, it doesn't move and umm... IT'S DIRTY! /images/graemlins/grin.gif Someone used my comb and it was full of grime and gunk...
Why pay good money for a relaxer if ends up looking like a 1950's press and curl?

 

[notsomebody]

I remember someone telling me that your hair would grow if you pull on it. I am embarrassed to say that I tried it once. I stopped when it hurt my scalp and never tried it again.

 

[kasey]

Well, I haven't shared my hair tactics with anyone yet.

But, the last time I was at a salon, the stylist kept going over it again and again with the hot curler even after it was straight. She said that my hair had to get trained to the heat.

Sometime in Jan. before I found the boards, I asked my other stylist how to keep my hair from feeling so dry. She told me that since it is natural, it was going to be dry. I was like "Huh?"

But, I give this stylist some credit. She changes her hair a lot. The last time I saw her she had cut off her relaxed hair and was sporting a blond afro. So when I go back for a trim next month maybe she will have a better understanding of how to care for unrelaxed hair.

 

[porkypig007]

One thing I'm mad at my stylist for though, she's always blowdrying my hair! Shouldn't she at least tell me that it's not healthy and stuff?

But now that I know about all this stuff, I'm always gonna ask for a wrap.

 

[Kitkat]

I used to think that washing too often, more than 1x/week, was too much for the hair, and that only white women could wash their hair more often. /images/graemlins/blush.gif Now that I wash 2-3x/week, my hair is in much better condition. Talk about ignorance! Thank God for this board; I've gotten such an education about hair here!

 

[AmilLion]

LMAO....these are just too funny. Honestly, i was simply clueless when it came to hair. However, I did believe washing my hair would dry it out. Needless to say FALSE.

 

[Tara]

Let's see, most of the negative comments have come from my hairdresser:

1. There was a woman that used to work in the shop whose hair was mid back at the time, now it's waist length. She was not relaxed, but got a flat iron regulary. ANYWAY, I asked my hair dresser how I could grow my hair to that length, and she said "Well you can't. I mean not everyone's hair can grow long" Thanks for the encouragement! NOT!!

2. My hairdresser said that your hair can ONLY grow as long as it's ever been. OK, that really sucked because my hair has never been long, even when I was a kid, I see now that it was poor handling but at the time I was like "Dang, I guess the most I can hope for is ear length"

Well, when I began to frequent boards like this one, and start taking care of my hair, my hair (gasp) GREW! Well, I retained length and get it to 2 inches below shoulders. But then I had to reward myself with highlights, and be lazy, but um....er...that aint the point!! /images/graemlins/grin.gif

3. She STILL thinks water is bad for the hair. She says water dries it out. I told her that only if you have really HARD water, or you use a harsh shampoo, she disagrees, so.....

I'm gonna repeat the first myth because I know someone on alnother board asked this question and was given the "false" answer below. So I am a testimony to the falseness of that.

Myth: Your hair can only get as long as the longest length you've had it before

False: Hair can grow as long as you want, how FAST you can grow your hair is genetically pre-determined, but as we learned with vitamins, anything is possible. But Like I said in MY exeprience, I've never had shoulder length, and got there, so it can be done.

Here's the funny thing with my hairdresser, everytime she sees me now (now, that I've gotten BACK on track with my hair) she always says "WOW, your hair is really soft" and before when it was getting longer and longer (for me that means bigger and bigger which was so great!!) she would always ask what I was doing.

When I'd tell her, I'd get the nonsense above. So now when she asks, I just say "nothing really, same ol" I want to wait till I have MORE length and then maybe she'll believe me.

LOL!

 

[Jenai]

Here are some I have heard:

[*]do not wash your hair more than once a week
[*]grease the scalp; if your scalp gets itchy, then you are greasing it enough
[*]braiding the hair tight will force the hair to grow out faster
[*]only people with "good" hair can have long hair
[*]conditioner is only for White women, Black women need oil and grease on their hair
All I can say to these ignorant ideas is: /images/graemlins/tongue.gif

 

[summer]

my friends think i'm crazy for taking supplements. they say, "you really think that will work?" (i absolutely hate this comment by the way)

from my good friend who thinks she's being helpful:
"you're going to grow your hair to where? yeah...okay...good luck" /images/graemlins/smirk.gif "really...don't waste your time"

a co-worker says to wait two weeks before washing because "dirt makes your hair grow"

(truly some stinkin' thinkin')

we're trying to make her see the light...

 

[Kitkat]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
My hairdresser said that your hair can ONLY grow as long as it's ever been.

[/ QUOTE ]
I used to think this also. When I just entered my teens, my hair was at collarbone length. As an adult, it's never been longer than the bottom of my neck (when I removed my braids and before I trimmed the split ends). We are never encouraged in growing our hair, so it's not crazy for most of us to have that mentality. Thank goodness for this board, where we know that's not accurate! Adrienne, our hair goddess, is a perfect example of that.


</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
my friends think i'm crazy for taking supplements

[/ QUOTE ]
I keep that little factoid to myself because I could just imagine the less than encouraging comments that I would get. You guys are the only ones who know I'm a pill popper!. /images/graemlins/grin.gif

 

[VALLEYGIRL]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
But, the last time I was at a salon, the stylist kept going over it again and again with the hot curler even after it was straight. She said that my hair had to get trained to the heat.

[/ QUOTE ]

Be careful!!!
This isn't a myth. hair can indeed be 'trained'. After using too much heat natural hair may never kink up or revert back again. This is what's known as 'training' your hair. Some people don't mind it b/c they always want to wear their hair straight. But most natural gals I know who sport their kinks and curls have been heartbroken when they get a press that's too hard and have straight hair that doesn't revert after washing. This training actually breaks down the hair shaft and does the same thing as a relaxer in order to get your hair straight. Instead of using chemicals to straighten the heat breaks down the cortex/cuticle of your hair. It is worse than a relaxer b/c a relaxer is done only to the new growth once...when you apply too much heat over and over to the same strand it will eventually wear away and break.


And also natural hair/black textured hair (relaxed or natural) tends to be dry but that doesn't mean it has to stay that way. We want to add moisture so it doesn't break and we can retain length as it grows. Your stylist should have given you some tips on how to add moisture to you hair instead of just saying oh its natural...it's just gonna be dry. Relaxed hair is dry as well.

But you probably know that already /images/graemlins/smile.gif Hopefully your stylist will know more about natural hair the next time you visit her.

Valleygirl

 

[VALLEYGIRL]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
False: Hair can grow as long as you want, how FAST you can grow your hair is genetically pre-determined, but as we learned with vitamins, anything is possible.

[/ QUOTE ]

Hey Tara
I thought that vitamins can speed up growth / lengthen the growth phase but how long our hair can actually get is what is genetically predetermined? Like our eyebrows are predetermined to only grow a certain length then fall out. I read that somewhere a while back in my BHC forum days.

The problem with black hair is that we (most of the time) have no idea how long the women in our families hair could grow b/c of all the damaging things they have done to their hair (b/c of myths like the one' listed here)
Am I making sense or am I contradicting myself? When you lengthen the growth phase does that 'override' how long your hair will grow or does that speed up the growth when you take the vitamins and then when your hair reached the maximin length which is determined by your DNA then begins the shedding phase?

I know your hair can grow longer than its been at its longest length in the past b/c we may not have been taking care of it properly. But maybe it's like if you have a history of high blood pressure in your family from one generation down to the next and then you come along and eat properly, exercise and do all the right things to avoid this then I guess it would be safe to assume you probably would not get high blood pressure?

Did I just answer my own question?
Anyway I am tired so tell me what you think.
I think you were around back in those Black Hair Care Forum days when this was discussed.(Iggle?)

Valleygirl

 

[Honey Vibe]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
I remember the girls I went to highschool with always saying that you HAVE to relax your hair if you want it to grow. And that when you relax your hair you have to comb it through completely or it wouldn't take.
They also weren't able to understand the concept that new growth means that the hair is growing. For them new growth meant time to relax again. Come to think of it none of them had hair past their shoulders.

[/ QUOTE ] (( nods )) The worser effect is that many of these myths are perpetuated by "experts" themselves. For example, Andre Walker says in his book that 4 a/b hair cannot grow long because at some point, it breaks on the ends. The hair would have to be put it braids or dreadlocks to grow long. This is not true: I have noticed significant growth in my hair without the recommended manipulations. As for the periodic breakage on the ends (due to knotting), it can be argued that 4 a/b hair has its own self-trimming system, as I seem to have absolutely no split ends (a rampant problem in my relaxed hair days).

 

[Fatima]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
a co-worker says to wait two weeks before washing because "dirt makes your hair grow" (truly some stinkin' thinkin')


[/ QUOTE ]

That's nothing. I have heard that washing your hair prevented it from growing, so the girl just stopped washing her hair. She would only wash once every 6 months or 1 year.
And I know she didn't because she actually lived in our house.

F.

 

[LondonDiva]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
That's nothing. I have heard that washing your hair prevented it from growing, so the girl just stopped washing her hair. She would only wash once every 6 months or 1 year.
And I know she didn't because she actually lived in our house.


[/ QUOTE ]

LOL /images/graemlins/laugh.gif It was that bad was it?

Some of these negative comments really do drum home what a lot of black women still think is bad for the hair, when infact it's all hindering their true growth potential. I do wonder all the time how long my hair would be now if i just left it alone all those years ago from age 14 or at least had all the knowledge about hair that I have now to put that into practice.

It's for reasons stated above, like dirt making your hair grow and water drying out your hair, that makes me not even want to talk hair to people anymore and just keep it to myself and on this board.

Many a time I've had to "explain" why I wash my hair minimum twice a week. "But doesn't it dry out your hair??" NO it doesn't. "What do you do after you bathe once or twice a day. You moisturise your skin to stop it from becoming dry, and that's the same concept you would apply to your hair.

Furthermore my hair feels more dry the longer I go WITHOUT washing it.

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
For example, Andre Walker says in his book that 4 a/b hair cannot grow long because at some point, it breaks on the ends. The hair would have to be put it braids or dreadlocks to grow long.

[/ QUOTE ] /images/graemlins/shocked.gif Oh my goodness!! You mean to tell me Andre Walker actually believes that abominable lie? He should know better! There are so many woman with very long 4a/b type hair; what does he think? They're all wearing weaves or wigs? Thank-you for posting that. I'm glad I now know that's what he thinks.

 

[LondonDiva]

And to believe a hair care professional is drumming that into people's heads.

Do you guys think that the main reason why a lot of black women don't grow their hair long is because we've been told we CAN'T, therefore why bother to even try, and just resort back to cutting it and doing all different kinds of things to it?

 

[pebbles]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
Do you guys think that the main reason why a lot of black women don't grow their hair long is because we've been told we CAN'T, therefore why bother to even try, and just resort back to cutting it and doing all different kinds of things to it?

[/ QUOTE ]

I know I always believed that. It's been drummed into my head for as long as I could remember, so I never even made the effort to grow my hair long. /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

 

[Country gal]

For the longest time I thought my hair would never grow pass the end of my neck. I had the same lenght for some years. I use to wear braids and weaves because I was convince my hair just wouldn't grow. This November I have been taken a more proactive role with my hair. But I must admit I still have lingering doubts that my hair will never be long. I'm hoping next year I can be telling my success story on the board. I'm glad I started this thread because it's amazing how these nbegative thoughts have become a reality for many of us. I like this board because some many of you offer encouraging, posistive words. This board will help to dispell many negative myths about black hair. Positive thinking will eliminate a lot of the stinking thinking we come across in goal of attaining healthy, long hair.

 

[Integrity]

the 'stinking thoughts' are valid TO AN EXTENT. because our hair is so inherently dry we must make a concious decision and work on it real hard in order to counteract the dryness that leads to the break-grow cycle. caucasians, on the other hand, have more moisture in the hair (hence the silkiness), it is therefore stronger....

so, theres no reason why we cannot grow long hair like the other races, but its a bummer we gotta spend much more money and time doing so! /images/graemlins/mad.gif /images/graemlins/grin.gif

(the 'mad' /images/graemlins/mad.gif graemlin really cracks me up!)

 

[Madison]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's nothing. I have heard that washing your hair prevented it from growing, so the girl just stopped washing her hair. She would only wash once every 6 months or 1 year.
And I know she didn't because she actually lived in our house.


[/ QUOTE ]


i must admit i am guilty of doing this. i would wear my extensions for months with out washing because i was told that dirt would make my hair grow. and i would brag about not washing my hair /images/graemlins/frown.gif and would even convince myself that my hair wasnt dirty because i didnt see any dandruff /images/graemlins/crazy.gif

Thank God i am much more informed about hair care now. and who ever said that Black folks cant wash thier hair every day is a lie!!!! because my hair is loving these daily conditioner washes /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[pebbles]

sbaker,

I understand you. My hair was always the same length as well; never past the top of my neck. I thought that was it for me. But after much research and reading, I discovered that every women can have, at least, 15"-18" of hair on their head, if they want.

Here's why:

-All hair has a natural growth life which is between 3-6 years for the average person. Some hair can grow beyond 6 years.

-If hair grows at an average of 5"-6" per year, than the person whose hair growth cycle is only 3 years long, experiences 15"-18" of hair growth during those 3 years before the hair naturally sheds and begins the growth cycle again.

-To grow hair to 32" long, that person's hair life would need to be 6 years long. This is all average. Some get more growth and some get less.

-I put myself at the bottom of the growth cycle at 3 years and calculate 5" of growth ( I get more than 5", but I don't know what my hair life cycle is). In 3 years, I will have had at least the 15" of growth. Of course you have to account for trims and all of that other stuff. But that's good news because it's a fact that hair does grow continually, even when you don't think it is.

The trick for AA women, is to keep all that growth on our head. /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[AmilLion]

Okay, I'm guilty. I knew hair could grow, but I just couldn't figure out why my hair wouldn't grow past a certain length. Actually, once it was on its way, but I decided to get cute with my hair and started dyeing and wearing weaves as soon as I accomplished a little length. What a tragic hair mistake .

Guilty of Believing these Myths:
1) Trims would stimulate hair growth
2) Pulling relaxer through each and every time relaxing hair
3) Dirt made my hair grow
4) Washing too often would dry my hair
5) "Greasing" scalp to help dandruff and to help it to grow
6) Brushing every single chance I got to "stimulate" growth
7) Relaxers alone can break your hair
8) You can reserve damaged hair.
9) Braids/Weaves made my hair grow
10) Believed the "Dominicans" caused my hair to grow.
11) Thought conditioners were for Caucasians only. Thought they were used only to soften and detangle.

What I now Believe:
1) Trims cannot stimulate DEAD CELLS
2) Pulling relaxers through only further damages the hair
3) You need a clean scalp to produce hair growth
4) Washing often with proper shampoos and etc will assist in adding moisture to hair.
5) Greasing scalp will only clog pores
6) Brushing strips the hair
7) Relaxers can break the hair, however, its "Your" daily maintenance which keeps the hair on.
8) Once hair is damaged, there's no going back to healthy hair. Only scissors will help by cutting of the damaged hair.
9) Braids and Weaves don't "make your hair grow" You're hair's already growing, braids and weaves will assist in retaining length. However, I feel the same can be achieve with the proper conditioning.
10) Reason why I felt that I saw more results with Dominicans than with myself at the time, they would condition my hair and didn't blow dry. Things that I did and didn't do. So that means, if I condition and didn't blow dry, would I see the same results? Actually, I've seen more because I'm using better products.
11) Conditioners are for everyone. They have many properties, detangling, acidifiers, soften, moisturize and strengthen.

 

[skegeesmb]

Pebbles, I was just wondering. When you said 15 inches did you mean from the hairline to your ends, or did you mean from your neck line on down? I've been wondering this question because I've been trying to figure out my hair growth cycle myself.

 

[rayne]

Back when I was in High School, a few girls believed that their hair grew faster when it was dirty. Even back then I thought that was ridiculous, but that seems to be a popular belief. I wonder how that got started??? /images/graemlins/confused.gif

 

[Ennyaa]

Yeah I wonder that too. I was guilty of believing it when I used to wear braids in college. I was such a fool back then. Not to mention really lazy when it came to my hair.