Ms. Plain Jane
New Member
I think your mother was way out of line. I think you shouldn't be upset that he didn't get you anything. You were just friends and nothing else.
Thank you! Straight Aubrey and Donnie style.
I think your mother was way out of line. I think you shouldn't be upset that he didn't get you anything. You were just friends and nothing else.
You need to talk to him.
My co-worker has been married for 5 years to a very good man who treats her very well. On their first valentine's day together, he didn't do ANYTHING for her. He even took her to his parents' home where the dad bought his wife a huge bouquet of roses and candy and diamond jewelry and the guy did nothing, he didn't even say anything to her. She was so angry!! Finally she called him at the end of the night to tell him off and he told her the reason he didn't do anything for her is that he simply does not believe in valentines. He said he thinks it is commercial and a sham, just ridiculous basically.
Anyway, she told him that he may not care about it but it means the world to her. So now, he always sends a huge thingy of flowers to work every V-Day even though it is not his thing.
The sense I get from your situation is he didn't think the relationship was a relationship yet and he didn't want to make things seem otherwise.
I would advise against letting your mom handle your business. It sets a precedent in a relationship. If a guy I was dating's mom called my home to chime in about something between us, I probably would never call him back. It is possible that's why he didn't call you back.
Young people need to be held accountable in the sense that if they treat you badly everyone will be aware, but it is not the parents' place to handle the childrens' business.
Ok, I understand your frustration, but there are some key things to be aware of.
"Talking" is not a commitment of any sort.
In all respect, I hope you really don't stay upset about this and keep pimpin... talking means, "I'm getting to know you... and whomever else I want to at the moment.... you might could be my girlfriend, but I'm not making guarantees or promises".... not "we're definitely heading somewhere" no matter what he says. You're not heading anywhere until you're there.
Him not buying her a gift for V-day was not disrespectful. Inconsiderate- possibly. Disrespectful- no.
In all respect, I hope you really don't stay upset about this and keep pimpin... talking means, "I'm getting to know you... and whomever else I want to at the moment.... you might could be my girlfriend, but I'm not making guarantees or promises".... not "we're definitely heading somewhere" no matter what he says. You're not heading anywhere until you're there.
I had been talking to this guy for about three months as friends. We didn't see each other very often because both of us go to school and work full time. When we would have conversations on the phone he would talk as if he wanted a relationship to stem from our friendship and one day I told him that one of my family members asked who he was and I told them that he was my friend who had a potential to be my boyfriend.
The week of Valentines Day comes and he doesn't even acknowledge me. This has definitely showed me what he really think of me despite the many I like yous he have told me. I am still upset because I did like him and I thought that he liked me. I am disappointed and pretty hurt even days later. I did go out with my friends the night of Valentines but I would have rather spent time with a guy who I liked. Later that night of Valentines my mom asked me what he got me (because she introduced me to him) and I told her nothing and that I was done talking to him because he doesn't really like me the way I thought.
She got upset and told his father to tell him not to call me again (he lives with his parents while finishing up school). I am feeling like with every guy it is always something wrong with them but I refuse to lower my standards. If you are wondering, I am in my early twenties. What do you think about the situation?
I had been talking to this guy for about three months as friends. We didn't see each other very often because both of us go to school and work full time. When we would have conversations on the phone he would talk as if he wanted a relationship to stem from our friendship and one day I told him that one of my family members asked who he was and I told them that he was my friend who had a potential to be my boyfriend.
The week of Valentines Day comes and he doesn't even acknowledge me. This has definitely showed me what he really think of me despite the many I like yous he have told me. I am still upset because I did like him and I thought that he liked me. I am disappointed and pretty hurt even days later. I did go out with my friends the night of Valentines but I would have rather spent time with a guy who I liked. Later that night of Valentines my mom asked me what he got me (because she introduced me to him) and I told her nothing and that I was done talking to him because he doesn't really like me the way I thought.
She got upset and told his father to tell him not to call me again (he lives with his parents while finishing up school). I am feeling like with every guy it is always something wrong with them but I refuse to lower my standards. If you are wondering, I am in my early twenties. What do you think about the situation?
in your opinion
I just read the whole thread.
I agree with Ms Plain Jane & Tick Tock & Mrs Johnson.
You were not disrespected.
I am no longer upset about Valentines Day. I did send the guy a text message apoligizing for what my mother did because I felt that it was wrong for her to step in because we are adults and capable of handling our own affairs. If you are wondering, no he did not text me or call me after the text but that is what I expected of him. One of you were right when you said that I should have put him on the back burner before V-Day.
The truth is that I asked him a couple times before not to call me anymore because he was really this dead weight that I was dragging and calling it a friend. I expect for my friends to be fun, adventurous, and easy to talk to. He was not. He asked me to be patient with him because he liked me and that is why I am in the delimma I am in today. In retrospect it is best that things happened the way they did or else I'd be with someone I truely don't care that much for.
I know one thing, I will be more careful next time and will go with my first instinct and say, no, it is better that we not talk anymore. I am really too nice at times. I need to read that book Why men love B*t%hes. Thanks Yall for all of your honest opinions. It was hard reading some of them but it is the truth and I appreciate it.
Obviously. I typed it, right?
purlease
I felt that for a guy to ask me to be patient with him, he had to have liked me and I expected something for V-Day. I ended up upset because I believed what he said eventhough I had second thoughts about him.
There you go jumping on the bandwagon.
Can you elaborate on why you agree with said posters?
I should edit because I didn't phrase that correctly becuase that is not what happened. Better yet I am ending the discussion because I am through with this topic.
???
I read it before the edit...
So are you saying that what you typed didnt happen?
Did any of this happen?
Good luck with your love life in the future.
???
I read it before the edit...
So are you saying that what you typed didnt happen?
Did any of this happen?
Good luck with your love life in the future.
This thread is closed due to the end of Discussion.
what happened in here
Someone quoted the OPs original problem on page 2 I think but after some responses I think she got tired of it.
This thread is closed due to the end of discussion.