Staying In My "hair Lane"

[Subscribe]

Sometime last year, a co worker asked about my hair. I told her I wear wigs and weaves to protect my hair because I want WL hair. A few other co workers were listening as well. I got a few questions and statements regarding their ignorance regarding 3c-4c hair types, "Black hair just doesn't grow", "Isn't it easier to just get a perm?", I can tell some wanted to get deep but I gave them that don't end up in HR look.

Ever since then EVERYBODY (white) in my office has stopped getting haircuts, trims, etc and has let their hair grow to never before lengths. They also make sure I see their lengths by doing the white girl swing and/or make remarks about their WL ends, how heavy long hair is, etc. Even the older women who complained about how hot the hair made them (menopause) now have hair on their backs. This never went on before. Hair was a non topic until I made that statement.

Do you think there is an unspoken competition going on? Why can't they let me great?

 

[ItsMeLilLucky]

Sometime last year, a co worker asked about my hair. I told her I wear wigs and weaves to protect my hair because I want WL hair. A few other co workers were listening as well. I got a few questions and statements regarding their ignorance regarding 3c-4c hair types, "Black hair just doesn't grow", "Isn't it easier to just get a perm?", I can tell some wanted to get deep but I gave them that don't end up in HR look.

Ever since then EVERYBODY (white) in my office has stopped getting haircuts, trims, etc and has let their hair grow to never before lengths. They also make sure I see their lengths by doing the white girl swing and/or make remarks about their WL ends, how heavy long hair is, etc. Even the older women who complained about how hot the hair made them (menopause) now have hair on their backs. This never went on before. Hair was a non topic until I made that statement.

Do you think there is an unspoken competition going on? Why can't they let me great?

Sounds like it to me. And it's because you're you.

 

[qchelle]

Sometime last year, a co worker asked about my hair. I told her I wear wigs and weaves to protect my hair because I want WL hair. A few other co workers were listening as well. I got a few questions and statements regarding their ignorance regarding 3c-4c hair types, "Black hair just doesn't grow", "Isn't it easier to just get a perm?", I can tell some wanted to get deep but I gave them that don't end up in HR look.

Ever since then EVERYBODY (white) in my office has stopped getting haircuts, trims, etc and has let their hair grow to never before lengths. They also make sure I see their lengths by doing the white girl swing and/or make remarks about their WL ends, how heavy long hair is, etc. Even the older women who complained about how hot the hair made them (menopause) now have hair on their backs. This never went on before. Hair was a non topic until I made that statement.

Do you think there is an unspoken competition going on? Why can't they let me great?

Now why'd ya go and do that?

 

[nothidden]

@Subscribe - "I can tell some wanted to get deep but I gave them that don't end up in HR look." LMAO!!!!

OMG...this has me cracking up!!

 

[Guinan]

Yep. They're competing with you. I usually don't say anything about length (unless we're REALLY cool); doesn't matter the race. I remember my black coworker and I used to discuss growing our hair long and healthy but she had the most unusual hair practices and would swear that her hair was almost WL; until she took her wig off and it was barely SL, thin and VERY damaged. She used to insist on giving me hair advice about relaxing the whole head once a month. Needless to say, I stopped talking hair with her after that comment.

 

[curlicarib]

Girl, you know what's up. They just feel they need to make sure you understand your place, but they don't know.

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. A friend of mine at work was growing out his hair for the charity Locks of Love. We always spoke about hair care and what he could do to keep his hair healthy. His hair was FABULOUS. Thick, heavy, ash blond. A white woman would have killed her momma for his hair. One day I mentioned that my hair was probably as long as his (MBL) but not as thick. This yt girl over heard me and had to comment that that wasn't possible. I asked her why? she said black people's hair doesn't grow that long. I took a deep breath and proceeded to give her a period of instruction. She was astounded when I let my hair down. Idiot. She never looked me in the eye after that.

My friend and I had a good laugh. He knew because he sees me comb my hair in my office every morning.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

Yes they are probably competing with you. This is why it's best to keep some info to yourself in the work place. Some people's self esteem hangs on such a thin thread that they do petty things to make themselves feel like they are better. White women and Hispanic women especially have low self-esteem issues (according to one of my white professors).

 

[krissyhair]

Girl, you know what's up. They just feel they need to make sure you understand your place, but they don't know.

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. A friend of mine at work was growing out his hair for the charity Locks of Love. We always spoke about hair care and what he could do to keep his hair healthy. His hair was FABULOUS. Thick, heavy, ash blond. A white woman would have killed her momma for his hair. One day I mentioned that my hair was probably as long as his (MBL) but not as thick. This yt girl over heard me and had to comment that that wasn't possible. I asked her why? she said black people's hair doesn't grow that long. I took a deep breath and proceeded to give her a period of instruction. She was astounded when I let my hair down. Idiot. She never looked me in the eye after that.

My friend and I had a good laugh. He knew because he sees me comb my hair in my office every morning.

She was bold.

 

[curlicarib]

She was bold.

On a military base no less. Lucky for her I decided to teach instead of punish. Another woman might have called HR.

There are some seriously country people in the military who never saw a POC before before they went to Boot Camp.

 

[melisandre]

Girl, you know what's up. They just feel they need to make sure you understand your place, but they don't know.

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. A friend of mine at work was growing out his hair for the charity Locks of Love. We always spoke about hair care and what he could do to keep his hair healthy. His hair was FABULOUS. Thick, heavy, ash blond. A white woman would have killed her momma for his hair. One day I mentioned that my hair was probably as long as his (MBL) but not as thick. This yt girl over heard me and had to comment that that wasn't possible. I asked her why? she said black people's hair doesn't grow that long. I took a deep breath and proceeded to give her a period of instruction. She was astounded when I let my hair down. Idiot. She never looked me in the eye after that.

My friend and I had a good laugh. He knew because he sees me comb my hair in my office every morning.

Chiming in like she's an expert on the subject. No idea why she thinks she knows anything about our hair.

 

[Beany]

OP, your story has prompted a spirit of petty in me. My coworkers ain't even do me anything and I want to flat iron my hair and swing it in their faces lol. Grow your hair to hl or tbl and really *** up their lives.

 

[krissyhair]

On a military base no less. Lucky for her I decided to teach instead of punish. Another woman might have called HR.

There are some seriously country people in the military who never saw a POC before before they went to Boot Camp.

I believe it. They think we have long tails and we're genetically inferior in some parts of the country.

 

[LiftedUp]

I'd take it as a compliment. People only compete with those they see as a threat or competition worthy. You're clearly doing something right!

 

[SlimPickinz]

Yes they are probably competing with you. This is why it's best to keep some info to yourself in the work place. Some people's self esteem hangs on such a thin thread that they do petty things to make themselves feel like they are better. White women and Hispanic women especially have low self-esteem issues (according to one of my white professors).

Hey. Not all Latinas have low self esteem! I am borderline full of myself with all this esteem gassing up myself.

 

[Bunnyhaslonghair]

Hey. Not all Latinas have low self esteem! I am borderline full of myself with all this esteem gassing up myself.

Do you feel like other Hispanic women have low self esteem issues?

 

[Anaisin]

Stop telling people your goals, not just hair goals but in general. Keep it vague

 

[InBloom]

Girl, you know what's up. They just feel they need to make sure you understand your place, but they don't know.

Something similar happened to me a few years ago. A friend of mine at work was growing out his hair for the charity Locks of Love. We always spoke about hair care and what he could do to keep his hair healthy. His hair was FABULOUS. Thick, heavy, ash blond. A white woman would have killed her momma for his hair. One day I mentioned that my hair was probably as long as his (MBL) but not as thick. This yt girl over heard me and had to comment that that wasn't possible. I asked her why? she said black people's hair doesn't grow that long. I took a deep breath and proceeded to give her a period of instruction. She was astounded when I let my hair down. Idiot. She never looked me in the eye after that.

My friend and I had a good laugh. He knew because he sees me comb my hair in my office every morning.

I just gave you a mental high five on that one. Made me twist my neck.

 

[SlimPickinz]

Do you feel like other Hispanic women have low self esteem issues?

Lol not in my family.

 

[beingofserenity]

I can't even imagine this kind of pettiness. Like, what? Why?

OP, do you mind saying what geographical region you're located in?

OAN, I told my bf that I wanted to grow my hair to my butt and he said, "good luck with that." I'll show him....

 

[krissyhair]

I will say in regards to OP, I think shorter hair had a strong moment recently, but now the trend is moving toward long hair again. Not saying the coworkers don't have a bad attitude, but they could be following the long hair trend again.

 

[claud-uk]

I will say in regards to OP, I think shorter hair had a strong moment recently, but now the trend is moving toward long hair again. Not saying the coworkers don't have a bad attitude, but they could be following the long hair trend again.

It's funny, but I've commented two ww in the last week on their hair, and I would NEVER normally do that. I thought it was bc I was getting bolder/friendly. One was like 70 and I just said "nice hair" (it just slipped out) and she looked 50/50 pleased/embarrassed and made some comment like she hadn't had time to do it properly but that hair was well taken care of - it was short like most older people but it was full, thick allll-through, SO healthy, it really was an enviable head of hair. She looked like she'd had her products and regi DOWN! The simplest thing to say was "but it's so full!" It would have been wrong not to acknowledge her, the credit was due.

Another at the checkout with white CBL bob. She had more hairs on her head than anybody I've seen IRL. I found out she washes 3x (mon, weds, sat), she blow dries, ponytails and waits a cpl hours for her hair to cool down, then straightens. I was SO TORN what to ask next bc there were other customers behind me (products, other women in her family with such dense hair) so I went for does she blow dry and straighten EVERY time she washes and she said yes and then she said but that she won't wash if her hair doesn't need it, and that when she has the next day off work she doesn't straighten, and that she needed a trim bc she liked to keep it from touching her shoulders (PS??!)

 

[Kindheart]

I don't think they re competing ,they re just trying to make you jealous.

You told them you want long hair and wear wigs . They re flaunting what you wish you had (in their mind)

 

[Kells]

I can't even imagine this kind of pettiness. Like, what? Why?

OP, do you mind saying what geographical region you're located in?

OAN, I told my bf that I wanted to grow my hair to my butt and he said, "good luck with that." I'll show him....

Girl, make him eat those words with a side of humble pie.

I swear, just when you think it's okay to share a lil sumpn wit somebody.
OP wasn't lying, when it comes to our hair, it's like people don't want us to be great.

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

I could be wrong... But seems to me they are just mocking you. They're saying.."our hair grows long without weaves and wigs...na na na na boo boo... Damn bit**es!.. Phuck em girl!
As a rule, I never discuss my hair with YT, Quiet as it's kept, they are jealous. Believe that!

 

[Beany]

I could be wrong... But seems to me they are just mocking you. They're saying.."our hair grows long without weaves and wigs...na na na na boo boo... Damn bit**es!.. Phuck em girl!
As a rule, I never discuss my hair with YT, Quiet as it's kept, they are jealous. Believe that!

YES to the bolded! When I BC my coworkers (all white) were surprisingly supportive. One of my coworkers (who grew up around black people) was like don't go back to relaxers , this is you. I've never discussed length goals or products or anything like that with them though.

 

[newgrowth15]

@Subscribe, have you ever thought inspiration rather than competition? Perhaps you have inspired your co-workers and now you have something in common with them to discuss. They may have product recommendations and hair practices that could beneficial to you.

 

[Kinky4Agirl]

@Subscribe, have you ever thought inspiration rather than competition? Perhaps you have inspired your co-workers and now you have something in common with them to discuss. They may have product recommendations and hair practices that could beneficial to you.

Any other race, Yes... But YT? Naw, not in their DNA.. And imma digress before I get in trouble..

 

[MizAvalon]

Stop telling people your goals, not just hair goals but in general. Keep it vague

Agreed. Let the results speak for themselves.

 

[greenandchic]

I never discuss my hair with random WT folks. When I take my hair down in the gym locker room, I do get the shocked looks, and I just let my hair speak for itself (and its not even waist length). Once in a while I do have someone ask me a legitimate question (products, etc) that I do answer but I never tell them my goals.

 

[Kells]

Now that I think about it; I made those same mistakes when I was newly natural.
You're excited about your plans for your hair, so you wanna tell anybody.

I was 3 years a loose natural and was getting ready to have Sisterlocks installed and I was sitting with my 2 White coworkers and 1 one of the husbands to one of them and told them about my plans to lock my hair (I thought it was okay to talk hair with them because it was a salon)
The husband says "Oh, now we can call you rat girl"........I guess rat tails were a connection in his mind.

My coworkers knew better and smacked their lips and rolled their eyes at him, but still.....

It caught me off guard and the couple was old enough to be my parents, so I said nothing. That was 8 years back, couldn't have been today, promise.