Spinoff2: Do You Seek or Take Marriage Advice From Others?

[cocoberry10]

Yep, another spinoff. Since we've talked about cheating and not knowing what goes on in other's marriages...

Do you seek out or will you take marriage advice from other married couples (and this can include people who have gotten divorced)? Why or why not?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Yes and no.

If you're a serial wife/husband (married 50-11 times), I dont think you've learned your lessons.

I would listen to some divorced persons, given they have accepted where they went wrong in the relationship and can tell me what they learned from their mistakes. If youre blaming the spouse still or bitter, I dont want to hear you.

I listen alot to couples that courted (Christian courtship). They are an inspiration on the does and donts before marriage, and the benefits of courting after marriage.

 

[JFemme]

What kind of advice could someone give you anyhow...

They are sharing their story, their values, their missteps...

Unless the two of you are similar in personality, and approach to life, I cant imagine believing issues will be addressed in the same manner..

I've always found reading, going to counseling, taking a communication class or something of the like, more helpful than hearing someone else's dynamic.

 

[Mai Tai]

I'm not married, but I hope to be soon...but I digress.

I do not take unsolicited relationship advice from anyone for the simple fact that it is typically a result of that particular person trying to enforce their own values, views, and morals. There are a lot of dysfunctional people in dysfunctional relationships, and the crazy thing, is that many of these people have absolutely no clue as to how dysfunctional they are.

Solicited advice, I take with the preconceived notion that even though I'm asking for advice, I already know what I need to do, and I'm just giving you a chance to talk about your own experiences. Some people love and need to hear themselves talk, and asking for advice is the best way to help someone fulfill this need.

 

[butterfly_wings]

I'm experiencing this right now, my SO and I are extremely happy at the moment but a close friend of mines relationship is very bad at the moment, her so has left her for the 6th time this year and she is 7 months pregnant! she insists on telling me that I don't know my relationship and no one truly knows there partner and that even happy relationships can fall apart, this is true in some cases but I believe communication is the key and my SO and I communicate very well.

I'm not sure what it is, she is either hoping my relationship will fail maybe to make hers feel not as bad or can't take it that I'm happy erplexed

 

[JessCNU]

I'm experiencing this right now, my SO and I are extremely happy at the moment but a close friend of mines relationship is very bad at the moment, her so has left her for the 6th time this year and she is 7 months pregnant! she insists on telling me that I don't know my relationship and no one truly knows there partner and that even happy relationships can fall apart, this is true in some cases but I believe communication is the key and my SO and I communicate very well.

I'm not sure what it is, she is either hoping my relationship will fail maybe to make hers feel not as bad or can't take it that I'm happy erplexed

OMG I know what you mean! I can't stand when people going through tough times in relationships want to give you the worst outlook ever. I know their situation might be bad at the moment but that doesn't mean that things will always be that way. If I am constantly breaking up with my SO, i'll be dag on if i'm flapping my gums to somebody else about what they need to do!

 

[1Aleeesha]

Not really.

 

[ClassicBeauty]

My ex-fiance's mother taught me everything I know about marriage. She was a great example, and I absorbed all of her knowledge. (Too bad her son didn't listen!)

I still reflect about things that she said when dealing with DH. She's been married for 30 yrs to a great man. They are very happy. She should write a book someday.

 

[ThickHair]

I don't. People always ask me and I just reply that they don't want to hear nothing from me, a person who is divorced, I couldn't keep my own marriage together.

 

[LBoogie]

No, because I don't want people in my business.

2. I haven't needed advisement.

3. I wouldn't give marital advice so I can't see myself seeking any.

4. The worse vice is ADvice.

 

[JFemme]

No, because I don't want people in my business.

2. I haven't needed advisement.

3. I wouldn't give marital advice so I can't see myself seeking any.

4. The worse vice is ADvice.

Aint that the TRUTH... (love that statement, Chica!!)

 

[cocoberry10]

What kind of advice could someone give you anyhow...

They are sharing their story, their values, their missteps...

Unless the two of you are similar in personality, and approach to life, I cant imagine believing issues will be addressed in the same manner..

I've always found reading, going to counseling, taking a communication class or something of the like, more helpful than hearing someone else's dynamic.

I appreciate your answer and love your honesty!

 

[cocoberry10]

I'm experiencing this right now, my SO and I are extremely happy at the moment but a close friend of mines relationship is very bad at the moment, her so has left her for the 6th time this year and she is 7 months pregnant! she insists on telling me that I don't know my relationship and no one truly knows there partner and that even happy relationships can fall apart, this is true in some cases but I believe communication is the key and my SO and I communicate very well.

I'm not sure what it is, she is either hoping my relationship will fail maybe to make hers feel not as bad or can't take it that I'm happy erplexed

RUN, FOREST, RUN!

I'm just kidding...or am I?

 

[Northern_Belle]

I'm not really an advice seeker. Ultimately, I know what I'm going to do or how I'm going to handle a situation. If I know I'm being short sighted, I may talk about the issue with someone who I know has a similar mindset who can relate and let our discussion be a sounding board.

 

[JustKiya]

No. I'm the only one (well, and DH) who understands the full history, ins and outs, twists and turns of both who we are, who we were, where we are going, and what we want out of marriage. Asking someone else about our marriage would be like going to a blind man to suggest paint colors - he might get it right, but it would be mostly guessing.

If I truly needed advice on my marriage, I would go to a professional and pay for it.