Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a movie?
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Christa438
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
if it were me, I feel like we should be going out on dates a few times/weeks first. Im personally not comfortable with getting cozy like that too soon. (Im pretty honest about what Im feeling/thinking)
if it were me, I feel like we should be going out on dates a few times/weeks first. Im personally not comfortable with getting cozy like that too soon. (Im pretty honest about what Im feeling/thinking)
CoCoEspresso
New Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
That's not a date, sweetheart. If he's new, then you should only do public outings, IMO. If he suggests this, then kindly suggest something else that you would like to do. If he disagrees or tries to change your mind then, say "Maybe it would be better if we rescheduled for another time." That will knock some sense into him. If he wants to see you, then he will oblige, and make other plans with you.
That's not a date, sweetheart. If he's new, then you should only do public outings, IMO. If he suggests this, then kindly suggest something else that you would like to do. If he disagrees or tries to change your mind then, say "Maybe it would be better if we rescheduled for another time." That will knock some sense into him. If he wants to see you, then he will oblige, and make other plans with you.
Spongie Bloom
New Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
i dont even entertain men who fix their mouth and suggest chilling on his couch as a date, so I dont find an excuse i just say no thanx and lose my number.
i dont even entertain men who fix their mouth and suggest chilling on his couch as a date, so I dont find an excuse i just say no thanx and lose my number.
Sasha Fierce
Active Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
This happened to me before. I just told the guy that I didn't feel comfortable doing that early on. He was cool about it and we ended up going to a restuarant for dinner.
This happened to me before. I just told the guy that I didn't feel comfortable doing that early on. He was cool about it and we ended up going to a restuarant for dinner.
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
My SO suggested this after a few dates....that he get a take-away chinese, bottle of wine and a movie. I verbally launched at the poor guy for making such a suggestion.
Turns out he actually wanted to go out but was thinking of me because i had mentioned earlier in the day that i was rushed off my feet.
He didn't realise that what he had said was so wrong.
So i think we shouldn't be so hasty in thinking the worst in a guy if he suggests staying in.
He may be sooo tired himself but still wants to enjoy your company but in a chilled out manner, he may be short of money that week or like in my case, trying to be considerate. If he continues to suggest staying in then its time to re-consider him.
My SO suggested this after a few dates....that he get a take-away chinese, bottle of wine and a movie. I verbally launched at the poor guy for making such a suggestion.
Turns out he actually wanted to go out but was thinking of me because i had mentioned earlier in the day that i was rushed off my feet.
He didn't realise that what he had said was so wrong.
So i think we shouldn't be so hasty in thinking the worst in a guy if he suggests staying in.
He may be sooo tired himself but still wants to enjoy your company but in a chilled out manner, he may be short of money that week or like in my case, trying to be considerate. If he continues to suggest staying in then its time to re-consider him.
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Tell us why. Please elaborate.
Tell us why. Please elaborate.
drasgrl
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Why do you have to go out and get to know someone? If I feel like just chilling at home then that's what I'm going to do. I don't know what is so wrong about a guy suggesting that. Maybe he's tired, whatever. What does that supposed to mean? I don't know if that some kind of secret code or whatnot. Are you suggesting he's cheap? I don't play games or hard to get.
Why do you have to go out and get to know someone? If I feel like just chilling at home then that's what I'm going to do. I don't know what is so wrong about a guy suggesting that. Maybe he's tired, whatever. What does that supposed to mean? I don't know if that some kind of secret code or whatnot. Are you suggesting he's cheap? I don't play games or hard to get.
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
When I was a bit younger I didn't see anything wrong with this. Now I would have to decline. I have done this in the past and unfortunately once you chill with them several times it's hard to get them to take you out of the house. My whole outlook on dating/courting has changed and my standards are much higher beause I feel I am worth it.
When I was a bit younger I didn't see anything wrong with this. Now I would have to decline. I have done this in the past and unfortunately once you chill with them several times it's hard to get them to take you out of the house. My whole outlook on dating/courting has changed and my standards are much higher beause I feel I am worth it.
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Well chillin' in the house with a BF would be cool but are you suggesting that on a first date chillin' at your house or his is acceptable?
Well chillin' in the house with a BF would be cool but are you suggesting that on a first date chillin' at your house or his is acceptable?
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
I somewhat feel you. I once had a guy invite me to a restaurant/jazz club type atmosphere and I honestly didnt feel like going. I didnt feel like getting all jazzed up that night. So i called him back and asked if we could just chill at his place. This was our 2nd date.
We had a good first date. I was going to drive my car anyway. If something tried to go down or he acted unlike a gentleman then i could bounce.
I have also been at a restuarant and had guys try to make moves at the dinner table and suggest a sexual conversation. If he's a jerk, he's gonna be a jerk at a 5 star restaurant or in his apartment sittin' on the couch.
I somewhat feel you. I once had a guy invite me to a restaurant/jazz club type atmosphere and I honestly didnt feel like going. I didnt feel like getting all jazzed up that night. So i called him back and asked if we could just chill at his place. This was our 2nd date.
We had a good first date. I was going to drive my car anyway. If something tried to go down or he acted unlike a gentleman then i could bounce.
I have also been at a restuarant and had guys try to make moves at the dinner table and suggest a sexual conversation. If he's a jerk, he's gonna be a jerk at a 5 star restaurant or in his apartment sittin' on the couch.
drasgrl
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Who said anything about a first date?
Who said anything about a first date?
drasgrl
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Maybe you dated homebody's. I've never been with a homebody. I had no trouble with the guys I dated going out if that's what I wanted to do.
Maybe you dated homebody's. I've never been with a homebody. I had no trouble with the guys I dated going out if that's what I wanted to do.
AfroKink
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
I would tell him that I prefer to go out and do something and that I'm not really comfortable with hanging out.
It's not safe to be alone like that with a guy that you do not know.
Lys
I would tell him that I prefer to go out and do something and that I'm not really comfortable with hanging out.
It's not safe to be alone like that with a guy that you do not know.
Lys
Sosoothing
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
I dont know ladies. If he wants to chill at my house or his house on our first date and watch a movie, I think its ok if we both agree. I mean, even if I want to go to a restaurant or any public place, he could still pick me up and then drive to a desserted area and harm me if he really is crazy.
Shoot, he might be really coo coo and be patient enough to see me in public the first 8 times and when I finally let my guard down and agree to a "couch date" and harm me then.
I guess I have never seen the big deal about a guy wanting to chill on the couch. Now if he insists on the couch each and every time then we have a problem.
I dont know ladies. If he wants to chill at my house or his house on our first date and watch a movie, I think its ok if we both agree. I mean, even if I want to go to a restaurant or any public place, he could still pick me up and then drive to a desserted area and harm me if he really is crazy.
Shoot, he might be really coo coo and be patient enough to see me in public the first 8 times and when I finally let my guard down and agree to a "couch date" and harm me then.
I guess I have never seen the big deal about a guy wanting to chill on the couch. Now if he insists on the couch each and every time then we have a problem.
Seeking8Rights
New Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
If I was really digging dude, then I would be down to chill at the crib...First date or not.
I would even suggest that we make a quick trip to the store and get some food to cook (cooking on first dates can be fun and also telltaling), grab a flick, maybe even a set of dominos or playing cards.
This is a chance for me to see the nicca house, how clean he is, if his bathroom is clean, if the home smells good, if he is a cook type dude or a takeout type dude, everything.
If I was really digging dude, then I would be down to chill at the crib...First date or not.
I would even suggest that we make a quick trip to the store and get some food to cook (cooking on first dates can be fun and also telltaling), grab a flick, maybe even a set of dominos or playing cards.
This is a chance for me to see the nicca house, how clean he is, if his bathroom is clean, if the home smells good, if he is a cook type dude or a takeout type dude, everything.
crlsweetie912
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Personally and because of past experiences, I wouldn't do it. Someone that I knew and thought I could trust, attempted to rape me in his home. For that reason, unless it was someone I was really serious about and had been out with for a decent amount of time, I wouldn't do it. JMO
Personally and because of past experiences, I wouldn't do it. Someone that I knew and thought I could trust, attempted to rape me in his home. For that reason, unless it was someone I was really serious about and had been out with for a decent amount of time, I wouldn't do it. JMO
Ramya
New Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Absolutely not. No man will be in my home for the minimum of 3 months. Either take me out or leave me alone. Taking me out is not optional. If you don't want to go out, don't ask me. If you can't afford to take me out obviously you're not too bright anyway b/c the park is free and so are museums on certain days. It's not about money, it's about:
a) my personal safety and comfort
b) it will NOT become a habit (hanging out in the house)
Even so, chilling at home is not a good thing for celibate people. I don't put myself in any situations where things could go further than necessary.
ETA: I just tell him that I'd rather go out. If he doesn't then I ask to reschedule. If he wants to see me he will find a way to take me out.
Absolutely not. No man will be in my home for the minimum of 3 months. Either take me out or leave me alone. Taking me out is not optional. If you don't want to go out, don't ask me. If you can't afford to take me out obviously you're not too bright anyway b/c the park is free and so are museums on certain days. It's not about money, it's about:
a) my personal safety and comfort
b) it will NOT become a habit (hanging out in the house)
Even so, chilling at home is not a good thing for celibate people. I don't put myself in any situations where things could go further than necessary.
ETA: I just tell him that I'd rather go out. If he doesn't then I ask to reschedule. If he wants to see me he will find a way to take me out.
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Belle Du Jour
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
IMO, chilling on the couch is protected time with my established man, not someone I'm trying to get to know. If he wants to get to know me, he should take me out--and I'm not talking about spending money. It could be a walk or whatever. So I would politely let him know that I would prefer to go out.
IMO, chilling on the couch is protected time with my established man, not someone I'm trying to get to know. If he wants to get to know me, he should take me out--and I'm not talking about spending money. It could be a walk or whatever. So I would politely let him know that I would prefer to go out.
song_of_serenity
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
I'm sorry that happened to you crlsweetie!
That's exactly why I would say not to do so with a "new" guy...nothing to do with "cheap" popped into my head, but the first thing was "Oh, he's trying to see if he could get you alone and put the moves on."
We must look out for ourselves. Imo, only until you know him and trust him, should you even consider that. The call is yours, but please be careful!!
~*Janelle~*
Personally and because of past experiences, I wouldn't do it. Someone that I knew and thought I could trust, attempted to rape me in his home. For that reason, unless it was someone I was really serious about and had been out with for a decent amount of time, I wouldn't do it. JMO
I'm sorry that happened to you crlsweetie!That's exactly why I would say not to do so with a "new" guy...nothing to do with "cheap" popped into my head, but the first thing was "Oh, he's trying to see if he could get you alone and put the moves on."
We must look out for ourselves. Imo, only until you know him and trust him, should you even consider that. The call is yours, but please be careful!!
~*Janelle~*
SqrpioQutie
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
if you don't want to do it then be upfront and tell him you don't want to... personally, i'm cool with it, new guy or not... i don't follow arbitrary "rules" when it comes to getting to know someone so i don't think an excuse is necessary...
if you don't want to do it then be upfront and tell him you don't want to... personally, i'm cool with it, new guy or not... i don't follow arbitrary "rules" when it comes to getting to know someone so i don't think an excuse is necessary...
Channie
Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Aside from the celibate thing (since I am not, though should seriously reconsider), I agree wholeheartedly with this post. I'm not a homebody kind of girl. I see chilling in the crib with a movie a relationship thing. On those days when, like Bublin said, he or I are too tired to do anything but want each other's company. But me, personally I'm a "night on the town/afternoon at the park/hood of the car watching the annual fireworks" kinda girl. Life is to be lived and you just can't do it chilling on the couch.
So in response to being asked I would decline, suggesting going out somewhere, even free for starters. If he declined or was hesitant I would just suggest we try to get together another time, and I wouldn't entertain his advances again unless he mentioned taking me out.
Aside from the celibate thing (since I am not, though should seriously reconsider), I agree wholeheartedly with this post. I'm not a homebody kind of girl. I see chilling in the crib with a movie a relationship thing. On those days when, like Bublin said, he or I are too tired to do anything but want each other's company. But me, personally I'm a "night on the town/afternoon at the park/hood of the car watching the annual fireworks" kinda girl. Life is to be lived and you just can't do it chilling on the couch.
So in response to being asked I would decline, suggesting going out somewhere, even free for starters. If he declined or was hesitant I would just suggest we try to get together another time, and I wouldn't entertain his advances again unless he mentioned taking me out.
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glamazon386
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Tell him I don't know him well enough to be all up and through his house. And no he can't come to mine either.
Tell him I don't know him well enough to be all up and through his house. And no he can't come to mine either.
kismettt
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
depends on who he is. with my ex, if he had asked that when we just started dating that would have been a no (just because he is really flirty & it would have been so obvious what he was trying to get at...). but if the guy i'm talking to now were to do it, it'd be fine. i don't have a hard & fast rule when it comes to dating (other than no kissing on the first date & that's just because i've never been comfortable enough with someone to kiss on the first date). i take it as it comes and pick up their vibes/cues to determine my response.
depends on who he is. with my ex, if he had asked that when we just started dating that would have been a no (just because he is really flirty & it would have been so obvious what he was trying to get at...). but if the guy i'm talking to now were to do it, it'd be fine. i don't have a hard & fast rule when it comes to dating (other than no kissing on the first date & that's just because i've never been comfortable enough with someone to kiss on the first date). i take it as it comes and pick up their vibes/cues to determine my response.
BroadstreetBully
New Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
ITA with your post, especially the celibate part.
Honestly, I can be a bit of a homebody, so once a guy and I are in a relationship, we'll probably spend most of our time chilling at home. So in the "get to know you" phase I'd like to go out. Also I always drive myself to our first few dates...just for safety. If I don't know a guy that well, chilling at his house is too close for comfort.
It's not about money. In fact, for some ladies the guy might live pretty far, and driving out there could be hard on gas. So meeting somewhere in the middle is more considerate with the new guy.
ITA with your post, especially the celibate part.
Honestly, I can be a bit of a homebody, so once a guy and I are in a relationship, we'll probably spend most of our time chilling at home. So in the "get to know you" phase I'd like to go out. Also I always drive myself to our first few dates...just for safety. If I don't know a guy that well, chilling at his house is too close for comfort.
It's not about money. In fact, for some ladies the guy might live pretty far, and driving out there could be hard on gas. So meeting somewhere in the middle is more considerate with the new guy.
sunshinebeautiful
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Depends on what you want out of the deal then decide accordingly.
Depends on what you want out of the deal then decide accordingly.
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
Yep, I would just tell him straight up that I wasn't comfortable with that. Maybe I've come across the wrong guys in my life but too many forget about good old fashioned going to dinner, catching a movie, SUMTHIN'.
But in my head, the fact that he even suggested that may put me off him...I know, I'm just weird like that.
I feel you!
At the bolded: Yes...it's quite possible. Don't think it's got anything to do with being hard to get or playin' games though.
Yep
. Been through that before.
Especially not these days.
Yep, I would just tell him straight up that I wasn't comfortable with that. Maybe I've come across the wrong guys in my life but too many forget about good old fashioned going to dinner, catching a movie, SUMTHIN'.
But in my head, the fact that he even suggested that may put me off him...I know, I'm just weird like that.i dont even entertain men who fix their mouth and suggest chilling on his couch as a date, so I dont find an excuse i just say no thanx and lose my number.
I feel you!
At the bolded: Yes...it's quite possible. Don't think it's got anything to do with being hard to get or playin' games though
. Yep
. Been through that before.I would tell him that I prefer to go out and do something and that I'm not really comfortable with hanging out.
It's not safe to be alone like that with a guy that you do not know.
Lys
Especially not these days
.
tocktick
Well-Known Member
Re: Spinoff: Your response when a new guy wants to chill on the couch and watch a mov
above all reasons, this is the main reason why i would not partake in this kind of "activity" with a guy i've just started dating.
I would tell him that I prefer to go out and do something and that I'm not really comfortable with hanging out.
It's not safe to be alone like that with a guy that you do not know.
Lys
above all reasons, this is the main reason why i would not partake in this kind of "activity" with a guy i've just started dating.