*Spinoff*--How to treat or handle a player/womanizer?

[Crystalicequeen123]

This is a spinoff thread to the post made by HairQueen and her bf not calling her during his "holiday".

I've always wondered...how do you treat a guy who's a player/womanizer??

You know the type ladies... He's smooth, charming, knows exactly how to say what you want to hear, has a bunch of ladies flocking around him etc. Well, how do you handle a guy like this?? Say he's giving you attention, and of course who doesn't like male attention? Plus, if he's handsome and has things going for him, this type of guy can be very tempting.

BUT...how do you deal/treat a guy like this? How can you out-smart a player so that he doesn't get the best of you?? Give him the cold shoulder? Play hard to get? Pretend (in a playful way) that you're not interested in him? Give in and flirt back? Act nonchalantly? What?

I'm just curious because there has to be a way to prevent these guys from having the upper hand!

I've also always wondered if a "player"/"womanizer" can ever change his ways?? Will he EVER actually fall in love and settle down?? Has anyone ever known a player to do this?

 

[locabouthair]

There's no way you can make a man changer his player ways, if he really wants to commit to you and only you he'll do it on his own.

When a guy makes it clear he's a player, i either give him the cold shoulder/cut him off, or be cold to him. There was one guy who expected me to be okay with the fact that he would have his wife on the side. negro pleaseI said some pretty hurtful things to him, which i usually don't do, it's not in my nature. but he had it coming. I hate guys who act as if you're supposed to accept that you are the other woman. please.

 

[Dposh167]

honestly...i've always played them back at their own game.
not on purpose. but b/c i really wasn't trying to become anything more with them, as they were with me. so i kept doing me. I would still see other guys who i liked and i straight up told him outta honesty. eventually he started to feel insecure that he was not the only one in my life and it bugged him out. anytime i didn't call back or i would say i'm going out he was always nervous who i'd meet or i was going to see. yea he broke down on a couple of occasions. but i must admit it is a somewhat empowering feeling when u've defeated a player at his game

 

[glamazon386]

This is a spinoff thread to the post made by HairQueen and her bf not calling her during his "holiday".

I've always wondered...how do you treat a guy who's a player/womanizer??

You know the type ladies... He's smooth, charming, knows exactly how to say what you want to hear, has a bunch of ladies flocking around him etc. Well, how do you handle a guy like this?? Say he's giving you attention, and of course who doesn't like male attention? Plus, if he's handsome and has things going for him, this type of guy can be very tempting.

BUT...how do you deal/treat a guy like this? How can you out-smart a player so that he doesn't get the best of you?? Give him the cold shoulder? Play hard to get? Pretend (in a playful way) that you're not interested in him? Give in and flirt back? Act nonchalantly? What?

I'm just curious because there has to be a way to prevent these guys from having the upper hand!

I've also always wondered if a "player"/"womanizer" can ever change his ways?? Will he EVER actually fall in love and settle down?? Has anyone ever known a player to do this?

I've only dealt with players for fun... But don't budge on anything. Be difficult. Show them you're not impressed or intrigued at all. IME, Either they tried another approach to catch my interest (and worked for it) or got bored and backed off. Which meant they weren't that interested in the first place.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

1. Write his name on a small piece of paper.

2. Tape it to the bottom of your shoe.

3. Smile to yourself everytime you step on his ass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

BUT...how do you deal/treat a guy like this? How can you out-smart a player so that he doesn't get the best of you?? Give him the cold shoulder? Play hard to get? Pretend (in a playful way) that you're not interested in him? Give in and flirt back? Act nonchalantly? What?

The way you 'win' is by not playing. If you know a dude is about games, there is no point in him being in your life. I know alot of women find game playing exciting, but it's really a time waster.

 

[dlewis]

I'm not attracted to a player normally. I like nerds and cowboys. If I can get a nerd/cowboy that would be great.

This is good thread.

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

1. Write his name on a small piece of paper.

2. Tape it to the bottom of your shoe.

3. Smile to yourself everytime you step on his ass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The way you 'win' is by not playing. If you know a dude is about games, there is no point in him being in your life. I know alot of women find game playing exciting, but it's really a time waster.

agree 100%. from previous experience with a "playa," I would just walk away.

 

[Bunny77]

I'm not attracted to a player normally. I like nerds and cowboys. If I can get a nerd/cowboy that would be great.

This is good thread.

A nerd/cowboy! That's cute!

But yeah, I agree with everyone else... I don't handle a playa/womanizer. Not worth it... I just move on.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

honestly...i've always played them back at their own game. not on purpose. but b/c i really wasn't trying to become anything more with them, as they were with me. so i kept doing me. I would still see other guys who i liked and i straight up told him outta honesty. eventually he started to feel insecure that he was not the only one in my life and it bugged him out. anytime i didn't call back or i would say i'm going out he was always nervous who i'd meet or i was going to see. yea he broke down on a couple of occasions. but i must admit it is a somewhat empowering feeling when u've defeated a player at his game

Hahah! Yeah, that's what I like to hear!

So, basically to beat a "player" at his own game all you have to do is act as if he is NOT God's gift to women (like he thinks he is), and make him "Work" for you. LOL* I'm sure since these guys are so charming and (usually) attractive, they're probably used to getting a lot of girls attention. So when you don't give him any, that can be really intriguing to him.

Actually, if you ask me...(and this may sound like "psycho-babble" to some), I don't think a lot of guys are born players/womanizers. Some do it strictly for an ego boost, but in all honesty I think that most guys who are players were probably hurt pretty badly by some woman who they really loved and gave their all to. Maybe she cheated on him or hurt him very badly in the relationship and so now in order to not risk getting "hurt" again he has a fear of commitment, and resorts to just flirting and chatting it up with MANY women so as to not fall TOO hard for just one woman who could eventually hurt him again. That's just my two cents. I could be wrong though...

I'm sure that if a player changes, he has to change within himself, I don't think anyone can MAKE him change. But I'm wondering if anyone has actually ever seen a player change his ways, OR, if you think that a tiger cannot change his spots. Once a player, always a player?

Oh, and I'm not talking about a guy who's married and already has a wife. I'm talking about your usual flirty type guys...the ones who have TONS of girl "friends", and usually no real stable committed long-term relationship with a woman.

 

[gone_fishing]

Off with his head....!

 

[gone_fishing]

This is a spinoff thread to the post made by HairQueen and her bf not calling her during his "holiday".

I've always wondered...how do you treat a guy who's a player/womanizer??

You know the type ladies... He's smooth, charming, knows exactly how to say what you want to hear, has a bunch of ladies flocking around him etc. Well, how do you handle a guy like this?? Say he's giving you attention, and of course who doesn't like male attention? Plus, if he's handsome and has things going for him, this type of guy can be very tempting.

BUT...how do you deal/treat a guy like this? How can you out-smart a player so that he doesn't get the best of you?? Give him the cold shoulder? Play hard to get? Pretend (in a playful way) that you're not interested in him? Give in and flirt back? Act nonchalantly? What?

I'm just curious because there has to be a way to prevent these guys from having the upper hand!

I've also always wondered if a "player"/"womanizer" can ever change his ways?? Will he EVER actually fall in love and settle down?? Has anyone ever known a player to do this?

Yes, my brother did it.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Haha...kinda reminds me of that song by Aretha Franklin: "Who's Zoomin' Who?" LOL!

 

[FlowerHair]

Don't bother with players or womanizers. What do you want a man like that for?
Just move on to someone better. I couldn't trust a womanizer even if he said "I've changed".

 

[shellatl]

I totally agree, but he needs to know in no uncertain terms that you're not playing that game. That sh** has come to an end!

Hahah! Yeah, that's what I like to hear!

So, basically to beat a "player" at his own game all you have to do is act as if he is NOT God's gift to women (like he thinks he is), and make him "Work" for you. LOL* I'm sure since these guys are so charming and (usually) attractive, they're probably used to getting a lot of girls attention. So when you don't give him any, that can be really intriguing to him.

Actually, if you ask me...(and this may sound like "psycho-babble" to some), I don't think a lot of guys are born players/womanizers. Some do it strictly for an ego boost, but in all honesty I think that most guys who are players were probably hurt pretty badly by some woman who they really loved and gave their all to. Maybe she cheated on him or hurt him very badly in the relationship and so now in order to not risk getting "hurt" again he has a fear of commitment, and resorts to just flirting and chatting it up with MANY women so as to not fall TOO hard for just one woman who could eventually hurt him again. That's just my two cents. I could be wrong though...

I'm sure that if a player changes, he has to change within himself, I don't think anyone can MAKE him change. But I'm wondering if anyone has actually ever seen a player change his ways, OR, if you think that a tiger cannot change his spots. Once a player, always a player?

Oh, and I'm not talking about a guy who's married and already has a wife. I'm talking about your usual flirty type guys...the ones who have TONS of girl "friends", and usually no real stable committed long-term relationship with a woman.

 

[Bunny77]

Actually, if you ask me...(and this may sound like "psycho-babble" to some), I don't think a lot of guys are born players/womanizers. Some do it strictly for an ego boost, but in all honesty I think that most guys who are players were probably hurt pretty badly by some woman who they really loved and gave their all to. Maybe she cheated on him or hurt him very badly in the relationship and so now in order to not risk getting "hurt" again he has a fear of commitment, and resorts to just flirting and chatting it up with MANY women so as to not fall TOO hard for just one woman who could eventually hurt him again. That's just my two cents. I could be wrong though...

Oh boo hoo, cry me a freakin' river...

BTW, not saying that at you Crystal... I'm just saying that I'm tired of excuses these men make. Sorry they got hurt and used by some women, but everyone gets hurt and folks need to get over it.

So if that "player's" excuse is that he's been hurt and doesn't want to get hurt again, he can still move the hell on... if he's "hurt" so bad, he needs to stop dating (funny, they're never too hurt to still keep chasing the booty...)

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

Oh boo hoo, cry me a freakin' river...

BTW, not saying that at you Crystal... I'm just saying that I'm tired of excuses these men make. Sorry they got hurt and used by some women, but everyone gets hurt and folks need to get over it.

So if that "player's" excuse is that he's been hurt and doesn't want to get hurt again, he can still move the hell on... if he's "hurt" so bad, he needs to stop dating (funny, they're never too hurt to still keep chasing the booty...)

i think this is an excuse too. my brother juggles/juggled women and i asked him about it once. i believe he was being honest when he said that it is about the game to him. it's like playing a video game he told me. it's a rush to see what you can get away with. he point blank told me that it's a matter of keeping up with your lies. i just shook my head.

 

[SilentRuby]

Beat them at their own game or leave him where he is. Never been to big on so-called "mouthpieces" or giving me what I want to hear because as someone else mentioned, I follow actions alot more than words.

Got alot of women flocked around you = Drama, that I don't have time for.

If for some reason someone is interested in a player/womanizer :

make them feel like sh** (more than likely they will become interested in you because you are not all over them)

and

as Glamazon said it, make them work for it

 

[tocktick]

lol @ you putting the word holiday in quotes.

i wouldn't "handle" a player/womaniser period. tbh, they make me sick. if i was casually dating someone and came to discover that this was the kind of person they were, i'd be out. why the hell would i waste my time playing games with such a fool? no thanks.

 

[KissyKissyLuv]

This is a spinoff thread to the post made by HairQueen and her bf not calling her during his "holiday".

I've always wondered...how do you treat a guy who's a player/womanizer??

You know the type ladies... He's smooth, charming, knows exactly how to say what you want to hear, has a bunch of ladies flocking around him etc. Well, how do you handle a guy like this?? Say he's giving you attention, and of course who doesn't like male attention? Plus, if he's handsome and has things going for him, this type of guy can be very tempting.

BUT...how do you deal/treat a guy like this? How can you out-smart a player so that he doesn't get the best of you?? Give him the cold shoulder? Play hard to get? Pretend (in a playful way) that you're not interested in him? Give in and flirt back? Act nonchalantly? What?

I'm just curious because there has to be a way to prevent these guys from having the upper hand!

I've also always wondered if a "player"/"womanizer" can ever change his ways?? Will he EVER actually fall in love and settle down?? Has anyone ever known a player to do this?

ITA with all the ladies who said ignore the player. I have been approached by players, but I find that I am in a different dimension of their game. They are trying to make married women cheat on their husbands. I laugh at it because they are so bold , but they do not know that the source of the bond in a marriage is STRONG. One thing I do not like though is that sometimes when you ignore a player, they try to insult you by saying stupid things about you or your husband to your coworkers.

 

[esoterica]

Oh boo hoo, cry me a freakin' river...

BTW, not saying that at you Crystal... I'm just saying that I'm tired of excuses these men make. Sorry they got hurt and used by some women, but everyone gets hurt and folks need to get over it.

So if that "player's" excuse is that he's been hurt and doesn't want to get hurt again, he can still move the hell on... if he's "hurt" so bad, he needs to stop dating (funny, they're never too hurt to still keep chasing the booty...)

So true!
I wouldn't give a guy like that the time of day. Life is too short.

 

[sonce]

This is a spinoff thread to the post made by HairQueen and her bf not calling her during his "holiday".

I've always wondered...how do you treat a guy who's a player/womanizer??

I put my boot straight up his ass and leave him in need of medical attention. The moment I find out a guy is a player/womanizer, his time is up and I won't be nice when I get rid of him.

 

[asubeauty]

1. Write his name on a small piece of paper.

2. Tape it to the bottom of your shoe.

3. Smile to yourself everytime you step on his ass.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



The way you 'win' is by not playing. If you know a dude is about games, there is no point in him being in your life. I know alot of women find game playing exciting, but it's really a time waster.

I love this post!

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

i think this is an excuse too. my brother juggles/juggled women and i asked him about it once. i believe he was being honest when he said that it is about the game to him. it's like playing a video game he told me. it's a rush to see what you can get away with. he point blank told me that it's a matter of keeping up with your lies. i just shook my head.

Oh wow.... a "rush"?? Goodness...I guess you learn something new everyday!

This guy friend that I'm talking about is (I believe) a player. I have never caught him in an actual lie... actually he's pretty forthright and tells me things that I don't even ask him (stuff about his whereabouts and things), and he'll do just about anything for me and other people, but he's just a huge flirt! He has TONS (I mean tons) of girl "friends", and hasn't really settled down on one particular girl. He talks and goes out with plenty of different girls, and is extremely close to one girl in particular, but I really think he's afraid of committing to one girl.

I made the mistake of falling for this guy friend of mine in the past, and now I'm kind of over him (kind of), but he's up to his old "tricks" again. Complimenting me, flirting w/me, etc. If I didn't have ANY feelings for him whatsoever, his actions wouldn't bother me at all. I'd probably just flirt back for fun. But when you have feelings involved... It's just hard.

Now that I'm not so "involved" with my feelings for him, I'm trying to get him back. LOL* I want to Play HIM! This is strictly for fun. I don't want to be mean because I still care about him as a friend, but I want to outsmart him and any other guy in the future who wants to step to me being a "player".

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Oh boo hoo, cry me a freakin' river...
BTW, not saying that at you Crystal... I'm just saying that I'm tired of excuses these men make. Sorry they got hurt and used by some women, but everyone gets hurt and folks need to get over it.

So if that "player's" excuse is that he's been hurt and doesn't want to get hurt again, he can still move the hell on... if he's "hurt" so bad, he needs to stop dating (funny, they're never too hurt to still keep chasing the booty...)

WHOOO hooo HOO!! LOL! Oh man...that cracked me up!

Yeah, the way some men deal with thier past "issues" is really interesting to say the least.

 

[Lilakoi’s_Sister]

Oh wow.... a "rush"?? Goodness...I guess you learn something new everyday!

This guy friend that I'm talking about is (I believe) a player. I have never caught him in an actual lie... actually he's pretty forthright and tells me things that I don't even ask him (stuff about his whereabouts and things), and he'll do just about anything for me and other people, but he's just a huge flirt! He has TONS (I mean tons) of girl "friends", and hasn't really settled down on one particular girl. He talks and goes out with plenty of different girls, and is extremely close to one girl in particular, but I really think he's afraid of committing to one girl.

I made the mistake of falling for this guy friend of mine in the past, and now I'm kind of over him (kind of), but he's up to his old "tricks" again. Complimenting me, flirting w/me, etc. If I didn't have ANY feelings for him whatsoever, his actions wouldn't bother me at all. I'd probably just flirt back for fun. But when you have feelings involved... It's just hard.

Now that I'm not so "involved" with my feelings for him, I'm trying to get him back. LOL* I want to Play HIM! This is strictly for fun. I don't want to be mean because I still care about him as a friend, but I want to outsmart him and any other guy in the future who wants to step to me being a "player".

be careful with "trying to get him back." you don't want to end up getting hurt in the process yourself especially since you have feelings for him.

 

[Bublin]

You cannot beat a player at his own game unless he actually falls in love with you and you play him. Then he falls hard and he hurts bad.

A very good friend of mine is player. He fell in love and got played big big time. The woman got pregnant, got a big diamond ring, a house, a car then kicked him out. All planned by her and she admitted it. She just wanted a kid but the extras she got was just so easy as he was soooo in love with her.

Basically the fact that you are still in communication with The Player means he is playing you....whether you are trying to beat him at his own game, playing hard to get etc - you are still talking to him.

If you cus him out or ignore his advances he will shrug his shoulders and say, 'oh well couldn't get that one, but there are plenty more fish that will take my bait'.